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  #126  
Old 04-01-2018, 11:49 AM
Krainz Krainz is online now

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As a transwoman, how did you see and feel about your male body?
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  #127  
Old 04-02-2018, 02:31 PM
Commander Rotal Commander Rotal is offline

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Ranges from "not that bothered" over "not normal" to "disgusted". I have the "luck" of being fat so i never really had a classically "male" body type.
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  #128  
Old 04-02-2018, 09:50 PM
GenyaArikado GenyaArikado is offline

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  #129  
Old 04-03-2018, 04:08 AM
spidey1980 spidey1980 is offline

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Congratulations on your official name and sex change.

Now you can have fun by greeting people with "Hello, I'm Veronica. I live in a hole in the ground."
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  #130  
Old 04-03-2018, 06:14 AM
Commander Rotal Commander Rotal is offline

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Quote:
Originally Posted by spidey1980 View Post
Now you can have fun by greeting people with "Hello, I'm Veronica. I live in a hole in the ground."
I don't get it.
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  #131  
Old 04-03-2018, 06:56 AM
spidey1980 spidey1980 is offline

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Commander Rotal View Post
I don't get it.
Because you don't play the good stuff.
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Teenagers (or older) at a Left wing indoctrination camp*
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Hammerbrew commenting on Anders Behring Breivik's killing spree - 2017
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  #132  
Old 04-03-2018, 10:13 AM
Commander Rotal Commander Rotal is offline

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Quote:
Originally Posted by spidey1980 View Post
Because you don't play the good stuff.
I only play shit right now.
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  #133  
Old 04-13-2018, 05:17 AM
Commander Rotal Commander Rotal is offline

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I have ordered and started to wear breast prosthesiseseses. Took a bit of courage i don't actually have on the grounds that A.) they look fake as fuck (because they are fake as fuck), B.) my face continues to not change, and C.) they don't just look fake, they also look unattached because my chest is VERY wide and they're designed for regular / thin people. With the right forming bra (and two sports bras to hold them in place) it doesn't look TOO bad but even then there's a noticeable gap between my "boobs" and the area where my dog ears from the mastectomy begin. It's okay with a vest or shirt on but, well, the very damn day i ventured out the first time Summer decided to start, so i got a cold-water-start with them.
I have to say - i do like the way it looks from above. Kinda looks normal, and, dare i say it, cool. Not attractive by any means but i have decided to pursue top surgery at the earliest convenience instead of when i'm thinner. Which, let's be blunt, isn't very likely to happen anyway. I keep trying though.
Sadly because of the dog ears (skin and fat flaps under my armpits that my surgeon overlooked; imagine fat rolls except flat and partial scar tissue) i probably won't be able to use those professional medical prosthetics that you partially adhere to the side of your chest; probably too much conflicting tissue there. Then again i'm not at all sure if my insurance would pay for it anyway.
Current plan is to maybe order bigger prosthetics until i can sort out medical ones, but i'm actually fairly happy with the size of the ones i have, just wish they were wider, and bigger cup sizes i could find generally just go deeper, not really wider. Still mulling that one over.
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  #134  
Old 04-13-2018, 02:22 PM
C9H20 C9H20 is offline

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Sorry I forgot, why did you have a mastectomy? I am guessing a high risk of breast cancer in the family (I think you might have said that)?
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  #135  
Old 04-13-2018, 03:14 PM
Commander Rotal Commander Rotal is offline

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Both psychological and cancer-risk-related reasons.
What i probably should elaborate on: my breasts were big. As in, "above-average-in-my-girl-dominated-class" big. Morbidly obese men generally get a little breast fat if they're unlucky, and even a lot of it if their luck REALLY sucks, but the kind of moobs i had you really only get when you have proper gynecomastia, which is breast growth in men due to non-fat-growth related reason; i assume it was lack of testosteron with me since that's always been too low, but nobody ever checked.
So, naturally, i was mercilessly bullied, kicked, punched, laughed and spat at for being fat (and, occasionally, for liking unpopular things) my entire life until i got out of school, and even then it didn't really end, and gigantic tits on a "man" are obviously a favorite target. To be blunt i have an unhealthy relationship with the topic of "me having breasts" because of that and if there's one thing that'll fuck me out of a reconstruction it's the words "i could live without it". At the time i really needed the confidence boost, and back then it was the right decision.
The other part is, of course, the breast cancer risk. It's not nearly as big as even regular breast cancer risk for cis women but it's A LOT bigger for men with gynecomastia than for men without it. Probably has to do with the fact that it's not just fat, it's a problem of the breast growth thingies being stimulated wrongly; i don't really understand it, i just wanted them gone the second my doctor told me they weren't my fault and that the insurance pays for the removal.
Kinda-thirdly, i already have a tendency to lyposomes (which is basically fat knobs because my genetics don't always know where to put my fat; had that on bones ones, that was fun) and they found tons of them in my breasts if i understood it correctly. Nothing remotely dangerous but not something you'd leave unchecked, i guess.
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  #136  
Old 04-14-2018, 11:58 AM
GenyaArikado GenyaArikado is offline

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cant you invest in a gastric bypass or something like that?
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  #137  
Old 04-14-2018, 12:45 PM
C9H20 C9H20 is offline

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That's pretty ironic. Having them, getting rid of them and now wanting them again.
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  #138  
Old 04-14-2018, 02:39 PM
Commander Rotal Commander Rotal is offline

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Quote:
Originally Posted by GenyaArikado View Post
cant you invest in a gastric bypass or something like that?
One was planned. I was deemed mentally unfit for the surgery because i kept flip-flopping on yes or no on the surgery, primarily because they kept introducing and not properly explaining new side effects and potential dangers and all in all just tried to talk me out of it. None of this got any easier because the eternal up and down of my hormone levels has quite negative effects on my emotions. (Right now i feel a little better but that's mostly because i have to start building up estrogen again because my medication has been unavailable in Austria for over a month.) It's exhausting and amplifies everything emotionally, which is a shit show if you have lifelong heavy depression and only rarely have any positive emotions to amplify. I have decided to not pursue weight loss surgery right now because i don't think i'm mentally stable enough in the long term either.

Quote:
Originally Posted by C9H20 View Post
That's pretty ironic. Having them, getting rid of them and now wanting them again.
The old ones were nothing but a burden on me; one was completely misshapen on top of being big, the rubbing on my clothes occasionally rubbed open my nipples (bloody nipples! i don't recommend them.), they hurt while running and i had no sensation in them whatsoever so i didn't even get some fun out of them. While I don't shed a single tear for the old ones I do realize that it is an odd medical history. My doctors and my therapist tell me that it's not that unlikely to a cis woman getting them removed just in case due to higher breast cancer risk (which, factually, was a big part of the decision, 'cause looking at the way cancer is eating my older relatives i DO NOT need that shit in my life) and getting reconstruction. Eh. I guess. I'll never have any sensation in any boobs i'll get, no matter what form they take, pun intended, i'll likely get tattoo-nipples and have the old ones removed because the surgeons completely botched the entire procedure and what i have left looks like they belong on a pizza, and they'll never look anywhere close to normal without a shirt on, which i'm fine with. I just need all the help i can get to at least somewhat pass. Call it Karma.

Last edited by Commander Rotal; 04-14-2018 at 02:50 PM..
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  #139  
Old 04-15-2018, 09:28 AM
GenyaArikado GenyaArikado is offline

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you're so fucking stupid. OMG I WAS SCARED OF SIDE EFFECTS you're a fat transexual whale, your only decent shot at a nice life is being pretty.

Focus in that
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