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Old 09-14-2017, 10:17 PM
Mutterscrawl Mutterscrawl is offline

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Default Azeroth's Funniest Quests, Items, and Such

Title says it all, when's the game gotten a chuckle out of you?

This is one of my personal favorites.

https://wow.gamepedia.com/Quest:Twil...(2)#Transcript

Quote:
Loudspeaker says: Zeppelin arrival in six minutes.
Hobart Grapplehammer says: Boarding the Spear of Durotar, are we? You are to be envied, Horde Marine!
Hobart Grapplehammer says: You are about to rip the horizon a new sky-hole abord a sensational new era in aeronautical innovation.
Hobart Grapplehammer says: It's been recklessly engineered with a merciless disregard for both budgetary concerns and those cumbersome, inefficient "laws of physics."
Assistant Greely says: Not a penny was wasted on comfort or personal safety!
Hobart Grapplehammer says: While you wait for its arrival, my assistant and I will momentarily demonstrate some of the features of this remarkable craft.
Loudspeaker says: Zeppelin arrival in five minutes.
Hobart Grapplehammer says: As you know, air weighs nothing. So to create a lighter-than-air vessel, we had to bend a few rules.
Assistant Greely says: We bent the crap outta them!
Hobart Grapplehammer says: The Spear of Durotar is filled to the bursting point with combustible, super-heated gas.
Hobart Grapplehammer says: Bligewater engineers have taken advantage of its inherent high-altitude instability and resultant low-cost.
Assistant Greely says: We passed the savings on to us.
Hobart Grapplehammer says: We've mitigated the explosive instability of the gas by putting it under IMMENSE pressure.
Hobart Grapplehammer says: Doing so required the removal of a number of safety valves that kept erupting
Assistant Greely says: Ask yourself: what good is a "safety" valve if it keeps going off? That doesn't sound very safe to me.
Loudspeaker says: Zeppelin arrival in four minutes.
Assistant Greely says: Tell 'em about the engines, boss.
Hobart Grapplehammer says: Oh my, yes. In order to maximize both range and payload, we've concocted an unorthodox blend of rocket fuels for the state-of-the-art engines.
Hobart Grapplehammer says: We call it "Doom Juice."
Hobart Grapplehammer says: It is so energy-dense as to combust at the slightest provocation.
Assistant Greely says: Even verbal.
Hobart Grapplehammer says: This stuff is so volatile, it probably shouldn't be moved. Much less... flown.
Assistant Greely says: To ensure a rapid crew response in the event of a fire, fuel storage has been moved away from the crew quarters and placed beneath the passenger compartment
Loudspeaker says: Zeppelin arrival in three minutes.
Hobart Grapplehammer says: Your course today will take you directly across the great sea.
Hobart Grapplehammer says: An enormous, unforgiving expanse of pounding grey waves, freezing temperatures, and ravenous sea life.
Assistant Greely says: In the unlikely event of a water "landing," please reach under your seat cushion where a cyanide capsule has been located for your convenience.
Hobart Grapplehammer says: Trust me, friend, a rapid pill-induced death is far preferable to the long, agonizing process of hypothermia and subsequent dismemberment by sharks.
Assistant Greely says: For those of you allergic to almonds, our cyanide capsules come in an assortment of flavors.
Hobart Grapplehammer says: Don't ask how we know what they taste like.
Assistant Greely says: You'll also find a complimentary bag of peanuts.
Loudspeaker says: Zeppelin arrival in two minutes.
Hobart Grapplehammer says: Should your zeppelin be attacked en-route, panic is inadvisable.
Hobart Grapplehammer says: Instead, look for a number of deck-mounted flak cannons positioned for just such an emergency.
Assistant Greely says: Nothing keeps a fleet of combustible dirigibles safer than randomly flinging molten metal in every conceivable direction!
Hobart Grapplehammer says: Greely, Show them how the guns work.
Assistant Greely says: With Pleasure!
Hobart Grapplehammer says: Simply aim and pull the trigger. Or don't aim. I wash my hands of the whole thing
Assistant Greely says: I can hit my house from here!
Hobart Grapplehammer says: Greely, you're not randomly firing that thing into Bligewater Port, are you?
Assistant Greely says: No.
Assistant Greely says: Maybe.
Assistant Greely says: A little.
Loudspeaker says: Zeppelin arrival in one minute. One minute.
Hobart Grapplehammer says: In the unlikely event that a catastrophic failure does not instantly kill everyone abord...
Hobart Grapplehammer says: ...a number of parachutes will appear along the railings
Assistant Greely says: We call them "Emergency Rampless Debarkation Devices."
Hobart Grapplehammer says: Simply grab a nearby parachute to be vaulted clear of the burning zeppelin. Hopefully onto dry land.
Hobart Grapplehammer says: Greely, would you like to demonstrate how our parachutes work?
Assistant Greely says: Oh hells no! Those things are death-traps!
Hobart Grapplehammer says: Very well then. I see that the Spear of Durotar has almost arrived.
Hobart Grapplehammer says: Your safety and well-being are no longer any concern of mine.
Assistant Greely says: From all of us at Bilgewater Harbor...
Assistant Greely says: Have fun storming the Highlands!
Hobart Grapplehammer says: Have fun storming the Highlands!
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  #2  
Old 09-15-2017, 05:41 PM
Mending Mending is offline

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The sound effect they used when the two naga knock you out after you rebuild the Tidestone made me chuckle. It was unexpected and it reminded me a lot of Team Rocket.

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Old 09-15-2017, 05:44 PM
Asterisk Asterisk is offline

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Everything this guy says: https://wow.gamepedia.com/Crazy_Larry
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Old 09-15-2017, 07:41 PM
Apep Apep is offline

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I like the exchange, the only thing that strikes me odd is Greely's characterization. She seemed a lot more put-upon in the starting zone.

As for my own:

Quote:
Admiral Hatchet says: Who's not drunk, Torok?
Warlord Torok says: Including me?
Admiral Hatchet says: Yes.
Warlord Torok says: <hic>! Well... Let's see... By my count, nobody. The whole crew's drunk out of their gourds, admiral... 'cept the sea pups... <hic!>
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Old 09-15-2017, 07:45 PM
Mutterscrawl Mutterscrawl is offline

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Starting zone poor Greely had a lot less stability, by Azshara she's probably got a steady job sending folks off to fight with a smile and explosives


I love the implication Hatchet is drunk
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Old 09-15-2017, 07:49 PM
Apep Apep is offline

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mutterscrawl View Post
Starting zone poor Greely had a lot less stability, by Azshara she's probably got a steady job sending folks off to fight with a smile and explosives
That does make sense, regarding Greely's compliance.
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Old 09-24-2017, 07:50 AM
Pepe Stormstout Pepe Stormstout is offline

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I find the Ravenspeakers to be pretty consistently funny.

https://wow.gamepedia.com/Quest:The_High_Ravenspeaker

Quote:
Originally Posted by High Ravenspeaker Krikka
In the whispers of the Raven Mother, blessed she be, it was foretold in the Scroll of Order that upon calling for a sign we would receive one within thirty minutes or less.
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Old 09-24-2017, 08:11 AM
Gurzog Gurzog is offline

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Never.

WoWs Humor is mostly "MEMES DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD "

Or well legion cinematics got me into a few loud guffaws.

But that was mostly because of how stupid the story is in legion.

See KJ cinematic and other stuff.
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Last edited by Gurzog; 09-24-2017 at 08:13 AM..
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