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-   -   Trolls Are Pretty Much the Greatest: A Primal Primer (http://forums.scrollsoflore.com/showthread.php?t=215805)

Kellick 03-31-2014 07:03 PM

Trolls Are Pretty Much the Greatest: A Primal Primer
 
In recognition of my achieving Elune-dom, I find myself reflecting on the inherent bias these forums have in favour of the Night Elves, and the importance of the causes I have championed here. Which leads me to the creation of this most important and most most sacred of threads.

For the longest time, I find myself having to constantly remind people that the Trolls of the Warcraft setting are, in fact, pretty cool rather than, as many incorrectly believe, totally lame. As such, I have decided that the lore forums of Scrolls of Lore are the best place to start a campaign to raise awareness of the coolness of Trolls.

A brief history: Trolls have been around for a wicked long time. Sources conclude that the Trolls predate the arrival of the Titans, and the subsequent ordering of Azeroth. This means that Trolls were hanging around back when the Old Gods and their Elemental Lord buddies were running the joint, and survived. That is, without a doubt, pretty sweet.

Though the Titans successfully locked away the Old Gods, they forgot to deal with their nigh infinite legions of bug minions. This was, as experts conclude, bogus. Rather than let that get them down however, the Trolls decided to squash the endoskeletally-impaired jerks, and this without the help of the planet's guardians or dragons, who were presumably too busy being weak. The defeat of the Aqir led to a period of relative peace on Azeroth.

This peace, however, was tragically cut short by the Night Elves, a group of former Dark Trolls who, through magical and/or divine intervention, decided to lay waste to their erstwhile kinsmen, using unimaginable magics to bring ruin to the Trolls, eventually causing the destruction of most of the planet. Not cool, Night Elves, not cool at all.

In the aftermath of this destruction, some sad excuse for Trolls decided it'd be a great idea to summon a god of blood and sacrifice into the world. Etymologists would later determine that yeah, bringing forth a dude who goes by the nickname of "the Soulflayer", should have had predictably bad results, and the results were, predictably, awful.

Despite all this destruction, the Gurubashi were still considered enough of a threat to bring Neptulon out of retirement/titanic banishment to wreck their day by blowing up a large chunk of the land we call Stranglethorn. Though he was so scared that he sent his henchmen, an innumerable swarm of gargantuan kraken the likes of which the world has never seen, to do it for him. Min'loth did beat them good, but was cut gown by the kraken's cowardly sucker punch.

What followed was a series of attacks on Trolls around the world, with Elves, Dwarves and Humans ganging up to kick the Trolls while they were down, knowing they'd not stand a chance if they allowed them to get up. The Amani, despite this decidedly unsportsmanlike conduct, were gracious enough to give their enemies the magics needed to defeat them, in order to give their enemies a fighting chance.

Following the Orcs' arrival, various Trolls have tried their hand at the whole "world superpower" gig, each time scaring the daylights out of the rest of the world, which simply isn't cool enough to withstand such forces without the help of other Trolls.

Trolls today: Many will tell you that the Trolls are a weak people, or point at their homes and laugh at the ruins they call home. What they do not say, and what they are too ashamed to admit, is that they are afraid of Trolls. Indeed, those ruins and people have stood for tens of thousands of years of war, natural and magical disasters, and the various calamities that have befallen Trolls. Not even the Dwarves' feats of engineering measure to the sheer scale and size of Zul'Drak's mighty waterworks.

Even now, though people may mock Trolls and make light of their accomplishments, they inevitably flock to safety and plea for the help of other Trolls to save and protect them.

Death itself, though the other races of Azeroth may dread its arrival, is no threat to the Trolls, who've mastered the art of resurrection, not the poor imitations of Arcane and necromancy, through science and magic alike. It is further indicated that even those Trolls who do die are privy to an afterlife wherein their greatest achieve even greater power.

It is little wonder that Trolls of every part of the planet fear naught and can, without boasting, claim to never die.

Trolls are, indeed, pretty great.

HlaaluStyle 03-31-2014 07:08 PM

If it weren't for trolls, we'd all be speaking Bug-language right now.

The trolls built epic cities before anyone else, and didn't need magic to do it.

No matter how many loot-crazed adventurers come their way, the trolls still survive.

Best race in WoW.

PajamaSalad 03-31-2014 07:13 PM

1 Attachment(s)
Well trolls do eventually evolve into this.

Frostwolf 03-31-2014 07:16 PM

Trolls are pretty cool. Those ancient troll heroes, especially ones like Min'loth, always felt to me like Warcraft's equivalent of Homeric epics. The troll heroes of antiquity, who accomplished great feats in days when elves didn't even exist and magic was mostly unknown.

:headhtr: :headhtr: :headhtr: :headhtr:

Erthad 03-31-2014 07:34 PM

Trolls also gave us the Trollbane family so they got that going for them.

Khyrberos 03-31-2014 07:35 PM

Totally true, man. TOTALLY TRUE. Thank you for bringing these unwashed heathens into the glaring light of a new day. :P

(Link related because that's kinda what I do)

Trickster 03-31-2014 07:47 PM

Darn! How do I seperate Kelluck and Levithon now?

Genesis 03-31-2014 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trickster (Post 1089476)
Darn! How do I seperate Kelluck and Levithon now?

Their names?

Kellick 03-31-2014 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Genesis (Post 1089481)
Their names?

I would also have accepted the answer: "Kellick's roguish good looks"

PajamaSalad 03-31-2014 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trickster (Post 1089489)
Thank you! This Kollick guy was starting to be really threatening.

Cholicks is just a deranged madman. Don't let his words get to you.

Krakhed 03-31-2014 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pajamasalad (Post 1089459)
Only 5000 posts Kellick?

Well, not everyone can have next to ten million posts, if I'm reading that right.

Anyhow, yes. Trolls are pretty fucking awesome when they're used to best effect. I'm currently hoping for the day when the Darkspear build something real with their Trollness.

Honestly, I'm hoping that various Loa end up trying to exploit Vol'jin's position as Warchief for their own ends. Offering various favors that they expect to be repaid at a later date.

And these aren't just simple favors that are easy to turn down... I'm thinking more about big favors, favors which promise great things for the Horde. Things the Horde needs. Promises to heal Durotar of all the damage Garrosh has done to it and more, and help feed the Horde and give it the strength to hold its own against their enemies. Maybe other promises to. All this for a simple favor to be called upon in the future, and a little tribute in the meanwhile...

Would be cool if Hakkar got in on this sort of thing after the Gurubashi betrayed him and the Zandalari willingly participated in his enslavement. He probably has things he can promise the Horde if they would care to listen.

Shaman 03-31-2014 08:20 PM

Trolls are zul. The Zandalari were right.

Fojar 03-31-2014 08:23 PM

Trolls aren't that great in my opinion.

Reignac 03-31-2014 08:25 PM

Genuinely considering making my Troll Shadow Priest my Horde-side main in WoD.

PajamaSalad 03-31-2014 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fojar (Post 1089502)
Trolls aren't that great in my opinion.

Until they evolve into blood elves. Then they are the best they can ever be.

Yakitori 03-31-2014 08:35 PM

Eh, trolls are alright, I guess. But only the ones that practice voodoo and worship loa, not the ones disguised as other races being complete idiots on the internet.

Kellick 03-31-2014 09:18 PM

Much as I can appreciate the sub discussion on the merits of going avatar-less, I did post this in the Lore subforum in the hopes of generating discussion on the Trolls's history and their situation as it is now, as well at what good might be made to come from those. :P

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pajamasalad (Post 1089541)
I am pretty ashamed.

:(

Reignac 03-31-2014 09:24 PM

Dark trolls. Think we'll ever see 'em?

HlaaluStyle 03-31-2014 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kellick (Post 1089545)
Much as I can appreciate the sub discussion on the merits of going avatar-less, I did post this in the Lore subforum in the hopes of generating discussion on the Trolls's history and their situation as it is now, as well at what good might be made to come from those. :P

I'd like to see the Darkspear start trying to modernize. Skyscraper temples and the like. They built the first empires, and once they get their act together they'll do it better than anyone else.

Genesis 03-31-2014 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kellick (Post 1089545)
Much as I can appreciate the sub discussion on the merits of going avatar-less, I did post this in the Lore subforum in the hopes of generating discussion on the Trolls's history and their situation as it is now, as well at what good might be made to come from those. :P

:(

I don't think that it's likely that Blizzard plans for the extinction of trolls, so it's really just a matter of what an Alliance/Horde world means for trollish kind. Overall, it seems that Blizzard is pushing races into singular national units. Disparate humans are largely uniting under Stormwind's banner. Most of the orc clans have been united in the nation of Orgrimmar. Night elf society is getting reshuffled and conglomerated. Is this the future of the trolls too? Should we expect the trolls to unite? Although they have united under the Zandalari, it seems as if the loa suggest they are not "true trolls," or at least have stopped behaving as such, though somehow the "Darkspear" are "true trolls." Does this, therefore, mean that trolls should become united under the Horde? Is the future of all races merely a choice of this (ridiculous) dichotomy between Alliance and Horde?

Erthad 03-31-2014 09:27 PM

You want Troll discussion? I'll give you Troll discussion.

I think the Troll aqueducts pale in comparison to what the Dwarves have made.

ARM3481 03-31-2014 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reignac (Post 1089547)
Dark trolls. Think we'll ever see 'em?

Nope, they're dark trolls. Makes 'em really hard to see.

Yakitori 03-31-2014 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reignac (Post 1089547)
Dark trolls. Think we'll ever see 'em?

We see them every day. In fact, you can go to their capital city right now in the game! It's called Darnassus.

Korath 04-01-2014 12:49 AM

You don't fool me with your April jokes.

Noitora 04-01-2014 05:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yakitori (Post 1089556)
We see them every day. In fact, you can go to their capital city right now in the game! It's called Darnassus.

Hush you.


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