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Anansi 02-02-2014 07:02 PM

Where Angels Fear to Tread
 
You've dreamed of this day your entire life. Today you will become a Hero, a soldier of fate and fortune. Today... you become the Paladin you were always meant to be.

Your name is Darin Weaver. You were born and raised in the town of Goldshire by your single mother. You have trained to be a Paladin of the Silver Hand for eight years and you now lie on your simple bed in the dormitories beneath the Cathedral of Light, anticipating the chance to offer oaths of service, protection and healing to the peoples of the Alliance.

Someone's Gnomish alarm clock rings nearby, prompting a chorus of groans and complaints.

Noitora 02-02-2014 07:05 PM

Ask yourself what self-respecting Paladin would join the Argents.

Volkrin 02-02-2014 07:05 PM

Is this one o' them "choose your own adventure" dealies?

If so: Groggily ponder own tongue.

Anansi 02-02-2014 07:16 PM

As you sit up on your elbows, working your mouth and sleepily wondering why it always feels like cotton first thing in the morning, you wonder about the Argent Dawn way up in Lordaeron. You've never been hugely interested in politics, but it seems to you that any group of people who would abandon their allies and allow an undead menace to invade Gilneas has no right to the name of Paladin. You're glad to be joining the true Silver Hand, which is survived by the likes of Lord Grayson and Stormwind.

Mutterscrawl 02-02-2014 07:18 PM

Thank the Light for everything.

Then consider what happens today and make sure you're prepared for everything.

Noitora 02-02-2014 07:18 PM

You then ask yourself why the Silver Hand is rarely mentioned in your faction, before getting into a fight over Whitemane and Paletress.

Revenant 02-02-2014 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Volkrin (Post 1058745)
Is this one o' them "choose your own adventure" dealies?

Become confused about audience input.

Anansi 02-02-2014 07:37 PM

Your thoughts blank out for a moment and you hear a snatch of conversation about audiences and choosing your own adventures. You shake yourself and roll out of bed, kneeling down for a moment to mutter a brief prayer of thanks. Then you heave yourself to your feet and look around. Your brothers are almost all up at this point, and talking excitedly about the day's activities.

You muse for a moment about how meaningful this day will be for all of you, and yet how little the Alliance seems to care about the Silver Hand anymore. It used to be the last and strongest defense against darkness, but now the Argent Dawn and Scarlet Crusade are on the scene nobody really seems to know who's with whom anymore.

Speaking of, it looks like David Stone's brought out his pictures of High Inquisitor Whitemane. The nearby brothers let out their customary hoots and whistles of approval. You snort quietly. Whitemane's okay, but Paletress beats her by a mile.

Noitora 02-02-2014 07:39 PM

You decide that today, you're going to walk up to those warlocks and give them all wedgies in the name of the light.

Volkrin 02-02-2014 07:40 PM

Scratch self indecorously.

Mutterscrawl 02-02-2014 07:42 PM

Take inventory of personal possessions and any items issued by the order.

Revenant 02-02-2014 07:46 PM

Look for quests.

Shroombie 02-02-2014 07:50 PM

Acquire firearm. Wonder why Paladins seem so reluctant to upgrade.

Anansi 02-02-2014 08:22 PM

Thinking of Paletress' perfectly shaped beauty causes certain involuntary reactions and you reach down to scratch yourself.

You conduct your early morning inventory and find in your possession:
-One coarse linen shift (equipped)
-One pair of simple sandals (equipped)
-One worn book of hymns and prayers (standard issue)
-One sheaf of paper + quill + ink
-One iron warhammer (standard issue)
-Five servings of Spring Water
-Five rations of tough Westfall bread
-One copy of The Astonishing Adventures of Confessor Paletress (contraband)
-One Red Rider Air Rifle (contraband)

That last is your pride and joy. It may not technically be allowed in the dormitory, but your times secretly caressing its firing mechanism late at night are over. When you're a fully qualified Paladin, nobody will be able to tell you what kind of weapons you can use.

You lose track of things for a moment, daydreaming of the day the world will know the name of Darin, first firearm wielding Paladin the world has ever known. Beware, Rogues and evil-doers, your days are numbered.

Speaking of evil-doers, some of the brothers say there's a nest of Warlocks here in the city. There are plans to raid the pub they're all supposed to hang out at after the ceremony today. The idea makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Brother Devin claps your shoulder as he walks past. The morning bell just tolled. You and the rest of the dorm filter into the corridor, where you meet Father Rupert and walk down to the dining hall.

Revenant 02-02-2014 08:23 PM

Call your rifle a suitable pun based on a connection between "holy" and the adjective form of "(bullet) hole".

Mutterscrawl 02-02-2014 08:24 PM

Clarify, onehanded or twohanded warhammer?

Anansi 02-02-2014 08:27 PM

You clasp your hand against the grip of the heavy one-handed hammer hanging at your side and wonder what you'll call your gun when you become a Paladin Master. The Holy Perforator? The Hole-y Perforator.

...You'll work on it.

Noitora 02-02-2014 08:39 PM

You see that one female dwarf and begin to have lewd fantasies. You don't know how to feel about your secret attraction for dwarf women. You want to talk to her, but seriously, you really don't like those warlocks. More than most Paladins and you're not quite sure why.

Ashendant 02-02-2014 08:51 PM

Be the Warlock

Shroombie 02-02-2014 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Noitora (Post 1058852)
You see that one female dwarf and begin to have lewd fantasies. You don't know how to feel about your secret attraction for dwarf women. You want to talk to her, but seriously, you really don't like those warlocks. More than most Paladins and you're not quite sure why.

Acquire Dwarf booty. Refer to gun as "Saintmaker", as it makes people hole-y.

PajamaSalad 02-02-2014 09:20 PM

I am not afraid to tread this thread.

Volkrin 02-02-2014 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pajamasalad (Post 1058867)
I am not afraid to tread this thread.

Then clearly you are not a proper angel. Way to out yourself, you feathery strumpet.

Millenia 02-02-2014 10:37 PM

Get ye flask.

Perform morning ablutions.

Comb hair.

Eat breakfast. Go chat with that cute girl you've been eyeing. Or guy. ;)

PajamaSalad 02-02-2014 10:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Volkrin (Post 1058871)
Then clearly you are not a proper angel. Way to out yourself, you feathery strumpet.

I am archangel.

Erthad 02-02-2014 10:58 PM

Look for your Holy Light Illustrated magazine.


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