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#1
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![]() Eternal Join Date: May 2008
Location: Second World Shithole
Posts: 3,845
BattleTag: Kalontas#2949
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![]() So due to recent turn of events in my life, which I don't want to disclose in detail, I found myself going back to artistic and creative work again. So I thought, why not give a Warcraft short story a shot? Partially, it's wish fulfillment (the plot, and how it turns out). Partially, it's just pasting myself in a badass situation (because why the hell not). Partially, it's a test of my writing skill and checking if I can really make it in any artistic measure or it's just another delusion of my insane mind. So I decided to drop in a part of a story. It may never be finished if I don't like where's it going or I get generally negative feedback, but I thought, why not try?
As always, I welcome any feedback on my style and any typos/grammar mistakes. Quote:
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#2
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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![]() Good, except the events rushed a little bit too quickly.
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#3
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![]() Priestess of the Moon Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Northwest Ohio
Posts: 560
BattleTag: Samael#1487
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![]() This story has...issues. I shouldn't blame my month-long silence on you, but I just couldn't get excited about reading this story; hence, I ended up working on my own stuff as a distraction. Thanks?
In any case, the "big problems" are so omnipresent that there just didn't seem to be much point in focusing on the "little problems." Call it condescending if you must, but I gave up before it was done. EDIT: The "big problems" are:
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What are the Twin Worlds? Azeroth and Draenor? I've never heard that term before. I recall an item called "Staff of the Twin Worlds," but it was never explained which worlds that was refering to. Quote:
Lots of people seem to have trouble with this. Keep the story in the past. The literary tradition in English is for stories to be a recounting of past events, whether they really happened or not. In English, there is no "imperfecto," to put it in Spanish terms. Everything has to be done in the "pretérito" tense, though scene-setting is often done in a "was going" form instead of "went."
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Every ending is but a new beginning. |
#4
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![]() Druid of the Claw Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: East Lansing, MI
Posts: 119
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![]() I would agree with Dark Angel on most of the points he presents, although I thought there was at least a little bit of promise in there. I chuckled at the Stonespine cape joke, and thought it was mildly entertaining to hear someone complain about sending five mercenaries in instead of a standing army. The take on the present state of undead was nice to hear too, since most stories seem to take place with Arthas still in charge as Lich King. Although, even with that, the characters did not seem to have any reasoning behind anything that happened and lacked any type of depth. Some more info on your paladin's connection to Aurius Rivendare would be interesting to hear, or some more dialogue with Dawnbringer (even if most people don't like to include major characters in their stories, I always think it's interesting to hear how people think about them). Also, gargoyles weren't "recommissioned from Ulduar"?
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#5
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![]() Priestess of the Moon Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Northwest Ohio
Posts: 560
BattleTag: Samael#1487
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![]() I was going to mention that, but forgot, apparently. The Obsidian Statues were recommisioned from Ulduar (Tol'vir and all that), but the War3 manual implies the Gargoyles were just one of several examples of naturally-occuring wildlife that fell under the Lich King's mental domination. I've never seen anything connecting them to the Titans or the Curse of Flesh.
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Every ending is but a new beginning. |
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