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Old 05-07-2012, 02:28 PM
Slowpokeking
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Default My TCW Fanfic(Done)

Couldn't think of a name even thought already finished it, was asking my friends to get one.

I know the translation is not good.


Quote:
Darth Maul looked at the dark space outside his ship, a cold sneer emerged from his face.

He had a hideous face, got bloodshot yellow eyes, the skin is covered with red and black jagged tattoos, the top of his head got no hair, but was filled with small horns of different shapes, his lower half was all made by metal. As a Sith Lord with extremely superior talent, he had been well adapted to this new pair of legs, and even had begun to consider how to take advantage of his metal legs to strike down his enemy in combat.

This powerful Zabrak Sith Lord, who was risen by Darth Sidious on Mustafar, once served as his Master's personal assassin. He perfectly completed a number of extremely dangerous missions to further implement the grand plan of the Sith. Twelve years ago, during the Naboo crisis, he was sent by his master to capture Queen Amidala and force her to sign the treaty. After successfully defeated the queen’s protector, Jedi Master Qui Gon Jinn, the Sith Lord’s overconfidence gave Obi Wan, Qui Gon Jinn’s Padawan, the chance to bisect him. He magically survived with the help the dark force and fled from Naboo. However, endless pain, hatred and fear made him lost his memory and sanity, he became a mad cyborg and eight metal legs, lived like a wild animal for more than ten years.

Until recently, with the help of his brother Savage and Mother Talzin, the matriarch of the Night Sister, the Zabrak Sith Lord restored his sanity, Maul once again returned as the nightmarish Sith Lord.

With Savage's help, he mercilessly humiliated Obi Wan, even with Ventress came to the Jedi's aid, they were no match for the Zabrak brothers and could only choose to flee.

However, what Maul wanted was not just revenge. The Clone Wars, his master’s grand plan, had been started a few years, but due to his failure in Naboo, he did play any role in this war, the war that would bury all the Jedi. Therefore, when Obi Wan and Ventress fled, he decided to put his revenge aside temporarily and not come after them. Now, he and his brother would fight together, let their lighsabers to cover with blood stains , make his name let the entire galaxy tremble.

That’s his plan for the future, it’s so gorgeous in his eyes...

“Congratulations, my Apprentice, no, Lord Maul. You were reborn. "A deep voice interrupted Maul’s contemplation.

A figure with black robe emerged upon the Hologram of the spacecraft, the hood was pulled very low, most of face could not be seen. "Master ..." After heard that, he hastened to bow before the figure, and asked his brothers Savage to follow him, salute to his master.

Despite they hadn’t met for more than a decade, the fear of his master’s punishment never ceased from Maul mind.

This was not surprise to him. Just as he mentioned to brother earlier, in his eyes, Darth Sidious was the most powerful being in the entire galaxy, both the mind and the power. If his master still hadn’t know their whereabouts, then that would really make him surprise.

"Do not worry, Lord Maul, you did very well." Sidious voice was so low, like a viper’s hiss, a smile could been seen under the hood. "Qui Gon Jinn's death changed the fate of the Chosen Son, he could not really walk into the Light Side to become a real Jedi after his mentor‘s demise."

"Lord Maul, I can feel in the last ten years, the hate and pain that had surpassed what you had tasted from previous training and fighting never stop haunting you, and that was the challenge of the dark side. Even though you once lost sanity, but when your mind was clean again, you had them firmly under control. Lord Maul, now you are stronger and more unstoppable than ever. I believe you already discovered this fact during your recent battle, against the Jedi Obi Wan.”

"You are absolutely right, my master." Maul replied, his master was really well aware of his every move.

“Enhanced ourselves with anger and hate, while maintain excellent control them at the same time rather than get driven by it, which was the biggest difference between a real Sith and those Jedi who simply fell to the Dark Side. "It seemed Sidious was quite proud of him. "Lord Maul, now I need you to face the Chosen One, Anakin Skywalker, and lead him into the darkness."

Maul nodded his head, he was slightly disappointed, he twitched his mouth a little bit, seems like he couldn‘t enjoy massive slaughter in this mission. Moreover, Skywalker? Is this individual really that important?

"You want use that boy to replace my brother!" Savage recklessly shouted at the hologram.

"You must be his brother, and I could feel that Force is also strong with you.“Sidious did not blame Savage, he smiled and continued, "Unless you believe that your brother is not strong enough to defeat Skywalker, otherwise you have nothing to worry about."

"He would determine the trend of this war and the fate of the JedI, he was also the padawan of Obi Wan, your fierce enemy." Sidious was explaining this mission’s importance to his apprentice.

"I understand, my master.“ Challenge and defeat the powerful Chosen One would be the perfect way to declare his return and further spread fear to the hearts of the Jedi. Maul was no longer dissatisfied with this task.

Seeing his apprentice willingly accepted the task, Sidious finally warned: "Lord Maul, your strength was incredible, nobody in this galaxy can easily kill you." His tone became more serious, "But remember, Never let your own arrogance defeat yourself again, numerous powerful Sith Lords has thus fallen because of it. When the opportunity comes, strike your enemy down without hesitation. "

“Thank you for reminding, master, I will never make the same mistake again. "The first conversation between Sidious and Maul since Naboo crisis had thus concluded.

Shortly after, on the other side of the galaxy, Sidious started the conversation with another Sith Lord.

“ Lord Tyrannus, it’s time to further lure Skywalker into the Dark Side. "the deep voice once again spoke through the hologram.

"And what is your plan, my master?" Count Dooku, the elegant old man replied with his magnetic voice, "I don’t mind to use Makashi or my force lightning to teach another lesson to that kid." Although he was clear that Anakin had become a powerful Jedi and commander through the experience of the war, but Dooku still took him as a disobedient child.

"No, the first time I saw Skywalker, I can feel his heart was clouded by fear. With your assistance, fear had slowly led him walk close to the way of the Sith. Thus, the prophecy would soon be overturned. "Sidious’ words was full of confidence, like Anakin Skywalker was just a puppet on his hand.

"However, until now, he still doesn’t really see the greatness of the Sith and the Dark Side, doesn‘t have a reason to join the Sith. Like you once were, Lord Tyrannus."

"The discipline of the Jedi would shackle people‘s view, making them foolishly think their way is the only right one." Despite he was twenty years older than Sidious, Dooku still got a lot to learn from his master about the secret of the Dark Side.

“Lord Tyannus, your mind already surpassed numerous Jedi, especially that green little midget, nearly nine hundred years old. Expanded your vision, you have. "Sidious spoke in Yoda‘s format. In fact, even himself, the embodiment of the darkness once said childish words like "Sith were evil" before that wise Muun decades ago.

"I hope this time you can make him learn the true beauty of the dark side. Let him understand, it’s the Dark Side that could fufill his desire, the way of the Sith will lead him to reach his dream. "Sidious then started to introduce the details…

The chivalrous warlike Mandalorians were well known by the galaxy for thousands of years. However, a new faction known as the New Mandalore rose up in recent years, under Duchess Satine Kryze’s leadership. They tried change the Mandalorian’s tradition of military strength, place great importance of peace and neutrality. With the Jedi Knight Obi Wan’s help, Satine once obtained the upper hand against the Death Watch and had the situation under control. However, her victory was short lived. A clone of Jango Fett: Alpha Ø2, now using the name of "Spar", formed an organization called the Mandalorian Protectors, advocated to return the Mandalore people to the traditional war like state. They also tried to establish Jango Fett as a hero and wanted to restart the war against the JedI to avenge him. The martial spirit of the Mandalorians is flowing in their blood, the hatred of the Jedi is impossible to forget. This organization received many support form the Mandalorians since its founding. Spar was highly possible to become the new Mandalore, leader of the Mandalorians.

A spaceship landed in the Mandalore planet, a Zabrak Sith Lord with black robe walked off from it. The Mandalorians had allied with the Sith a couple of times in the history. The current Mandalorian Protectors had extreme hatred toward the Jedi, to work with the Sith once again seems cannot be more logical. Spar already had more support within the Mandalorian, get rid of Satine’s New Mandalore and elected as the new leader is just a matter of time. But it was Sidious who firstly contact Spar to offer help, such a powerful ally would be very useful against the Jedi in the future.

"After we deliberately leaked the info of assassination, Satine was now seeking help from her Republic allies. Lord Sidious suggested us to take this chance, get proof then declare that she was trying to seize power with the Jedi forces, that will make her new Mandalore lose any internal support then completely collapse. " Spar was so confident. With the Sith Lords’ help, he believed nobody could stop him from becoming the new Mandalore now. He already thought about the title: Mandalore the Resurrector."But we still need to let this woman to shut up forever. "

"I will bring back her head. All you have to do is keep your promise, pledge yourselves to join the CIS and help us wipe out the Jedi.” Darth Maul said coldly ...

A woman, just like twelve years ago.

Only this time, he would not fail ...

On the Republic capital, Coruscant, Supreme Chancellor Palpatine was meeting with the young Jedi Anakin Skywalker, in his office.

"Anakin, my friend, I'm so glad to see you." Palpatine smiled graciously. Although he was over sixty, but still looked elegant.

"Your highness, I come to say goodbye." Anakin’s handsome face also gave a smile. He had a very close relationship with this man in these years. In his eyes, he is not only the leader of the Republic, but also a father figure. "Our ally, the new Mandalore’s leader, Duchess Satine, is in danger of assassination, she was seeking our assistance. Unfortunately, Asoka was sent to help deal with Grievous, and my master Obi Wan still hasn’t returned from that mission against Darth Maul. The Jedi Council decided to let me alone to protect the Duchess. "

"I can understand, the current situation in Mandalore sector is very unstable, the militants are rising again. Their hatred of the Jedi can be traced back thousands of years ago, so you need to perform tasks alone and secretly. Did you receive information from Master Kenobi in the past two days ? "Palpatine put away his smile, asked solemnly.

“Received some vague transmission, he said he would come back as soon as possible. Although I was a little worried, but I believe that my master will finish that monster and safely return. "Anakin's tone was full of confidence. "And I will never let him down, I have to go now, chancellor."

"I sincerely wish you success, my friend." Palpatine put his hand on Anakin's shoulders. "I believe you will learn more in this trip, and use the knowledge to protect more people."

Last edited by Slowpokeking; 05-17-2012 at 10:29 PM..
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Old 05-11-2012, 02:38 PM
Slowpokeking
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First part of chapter 2.

Quote:
After several days’ journey, Anakin arrived on Kalevala, the home planet of Duchess Satine. He came to the meeting place secretly in the night. Satine was already waiting for him there. She was a elegant and beautiful woman, around thirty years old. Due to the current critical situation, she wore a black robe to avoid attention.

"I'm sorry my master Obi Wan couldn’t come here ..." Anakin apologized to the Duchess.

"No, I believe you can help me solve the problem," Satine interrupted Anakin. This passionate and courageous young man left her a good impression during the crisis of Death Watch. "There is no time for these. The New Mandalore was greatly infiltrated, let us ..."

At this time, six heavily armed Mandalore Commando suddenly appeared from the darkness and surrounded the two. It’s only possible to recognize two or three of them in the night, Satine was sure these are all Spar’s supporters, she knew the situation was not in her favor.

"It seems that your brethren have been concerned about our meeting." Though aware of their situation was not good, Anakin had not completely lost the sense of humor.

" Duchess Satine, I am sorry to meet you in this kind of situation. But we have received the message and evidence that showed you were secretly contacting the Jedi to help you seize power." Before Satine could say anything to explain, the leader of these commandos coldly spoke, "We do not believe these things, but you and your friend have to go with us for investigation until the truth is revealed."

Sounds very logical, but both Anakin and Satine knew clearly, once they go with these commandos, they wouldn’t come out alive.
Anakin flashed out his blue lightsaber, quickly knocked down a few Mandalorian Commandos, The Duchess, too, took her blaster out to assist the Jedi, they quickly broke out from the commandos,ran to Saine’s spaceship and escaped.

"They have fled, and we have recorded the meeting between her and the Jedi, along with the fight as you ordered, my lord., We also installed track and jamming devices on their ship." The leader of the commandos didn’t order his troops to go after them, but took out his hologram and contacted Spar.
"You all did a wonderful job, now give the tracking information to the Sith Lord. Then we don’t have to worry about that woman her Jedi friend anymore, our ally will take care of them. What I will to do next is to show our people these, then the New Mandalorian has completely become history, we will able to return to our traditional way completely."Spahr said, “and I lead our people to regain honor and glory throught this war, as the new Mandalore! "

Anakin was driving Satine’s ship, traveling in Mandalore system, he found the ship’s hyperspace jump device was jammed, so try to follow a secret route, find a planet that could repair the ship’s devices, then use the hyperspace jump to leave the Mandalore system.

"They only sent a few commandos to arrest us, and there is no sign of pursuit. I think they deliberately let us go, there must be a trick in there." Satine still could not relax our vigilance, "is not difficult to predict that how they will destroy my public image, ‘make secret ally with the Jedi to seize power, intent to sell my people outand subvert the Mandalorian tradition.’ "Although she was able to escape with Anakin‘s help, but the Duchess knew clearly that her political career in Mandalore had come to an end, his political views of peace and neutrality probably will no longer get any support. Satine was a strong willed woman, but thinking of her goal of life and years of hard work completely shattered. The Duchess’ mood is very low, her eyes even slightly moisted.

"I will escort you to Coruscant, you can stay there for a while and make the plan for the future." Anakin tried to comfort the Duchess. "No matter what, our current situation is much better than just get secretly executed by them. Republic and we Jedi will try to end the war as soon as we can, I believe they will understand the value of peace."

"Thank you," Satine squeezed out a smile after a sigh, "Actually, I understand that the way of peace is impossible to truly take root in the hearts of the Mandalorians, but I can not allow my people to continue suffer these endless conflicts. We cannot spill too much blood for this war ... "

"To protect your loved ones with all you have, is the most precious quality." Anakin said sincerely, "I became a Jedi Knight to better protect the people I love, no matter the cost. "

"That doesn’t sound like an idea from a Jedi," the tone of the Satine became slightly relaxed. Although they once fought together against the Death Watch, but she didn’t pay too much attention to this young JedI Knight to know him.

Last edited by Slowpokeking; 05-16-2012 at 08:31 PM..
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Old 05-11-2012, 03:31 PM
Omacron Omacron is offline


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Old 05-11-2012, 03:41 PM
Sonneillon Sonneillon is offline

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Needs more Liv Tyler.
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Old 05-11-2012, 03:41 PM
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Is today clown day or something?

If you don't give a fuck, then don't post. No one gives a fuck about you giving fucks or trying to call attention for the 1000th time.
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Old 05-11-2012, 03:44 PM
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Is today clown day or something?

If you don't give a fuck, then don't post. No one gives a fuck about you giving fucks or trying to call attention for the 1000th time.
I gave a fuck about the non fuck giving.
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Old 05-11-2012, 03:47 PM
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While normally I'd just shut the fuck up about someone's writing chops, this really has to end. Slow, you're a terrible author. Your writing style is completely unnatural, it has no flow, and it randomly changes just so you can fit an idea in. In every way, shape, and form it's like reading a six year old's ADD fantasy. Seriously, stop wasting your time with this and learn how to do it properly. Stop reading fantasy and sci-fi, pick up some classic literature, stuff that can actually teach you about how to form a proper descriptive passage. Maybe in time you can bump it up to a reasonable level, but it's laughably bad right now.
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Old 05-11-2012, 03:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Lon-ami View Post
Is today clown day or something?

If you don't give a fuck, then don't post. No one gives a fuck about you giving fucks or trying to call attention for the 1000th time.
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Old 05-11-2012, 03:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Cantus View Post
While normally I'd just shut the fuck up about someone's writing chops, this really has to end. Slow, you're a terrible author. Your writing style is completely unnatural, it has no flow, and it randomly changes just so you can fit an idea in. In every way, shape, and form it's like reading a six year old's ADD fantasy. Seriously, stop wasting your time with this and learn how to do it properly. Stop reading fantasy and sci-fi, pick up some classic literature, stuff that can actually teach you about how to form a proper descriptive passage. Maybe in time you can bump it up to a reasonable level, but it's laughably bad right now.
Many SW fans said it's very good, after they finished it.

Why not wait till I post more rather than say it's terrible after like 1.2 chapters? You are talking about flow, but it's too early to put one in.
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Old 05-11-2012, 03:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Slowpokeking View Post
Many SW fans said it's very good, after they finished it.

Why not wait till I post more rather than say it's terrible after like 1.2 chapters? You are talking about flow, but it's too early to put one in.
AHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA!
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Old 05-11-2012, 04:03 PM
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Dat jaw ! I'm jealous.
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Old 05-11-2012, 04:42 PM
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Hope I can finish the translation of chapter 2 today.

Quote:
Anakin gave back a smile, then suddenly yell out with surprise.
"Oh no, they didn’t just jammed the hyperspace jump device, soon we will lose most of the control of this ship. We must find a planet to land off, now.”

“The only planet we can reach soon is the barren world Aakaan, we can not repair ... "Satine stopped because she realized there was no other choices.

Not long ago, after Darth Maul followed his master’s order and went to assassinate Duchess Satine, his brother Savage Opress went to contact Mother Talzin and reported Darth Sidious’ conversation with his brother.

The pale faced witch seemed was interested in the individuals he mentioned. After a moment of thinking, she broke the silence, "Thank you for reporting this to me, I already suspected there might be other people to contact your brother after his recovery. Unfortunately, Savage, because of the massacre on Dathomir, my power was constantly weakening. I am afraid I don’t have the power to directly compete with that Sith Lord."

Looking at the disappointed face of Savage, Talzin changed her tone, "However, because of this, I have started to find a way restore my power for a while. Thanks to you, I got a plan now, if it goes successful, I will become stronger than ever. Of course, I also need your help, the fact that you will play a crucial role in my plan."

Savage was listening to the arrangements of the witch, his eyes widened gradually because of surprise. "Do not be afraid, Savage. There is nothing to worry about. Once my plan is successfully completed, you and your brother will be greatly rewarded, and thus become more powerful." the single minded Zabrak simply could not hide anything from Mother Talzin.

"Yes, mother." Although he still didn’t feel good of the plan of the witch, but at least, in Savage’s eyes, she is more trustworthy than that Darth Sidious.

And he had no chance to survive if he goes against her will. He had always been somebody’s tool, he knew this quite well. But before he had enough power and knowledge, all he could do is find a nice user of this tool.

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Old 05-11-2012, 06:21 PM
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More.

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Akaan is a planet in the Mandalore sector. The planet's surface was mostly barrens. Anakin and Satine tried to figure out a plan after they landed here.

“Because of the unstable situation, and the Mandalorian’s hatred toward the Jedi, we didn’t send any other troops to sector"Anakin was looking at the communication system, "It’s difficult to contact the Republic here, but I will try my best. "

"I believe you can do it, but I’m afraid those Mandalorian Protectors won’t just stop here, more trouble may come to our away." Satine was still worried.
After further discussion, they decided to go off the ship to explore this planet for a little while, see what they could find.

Just after they walked for a short distance, a small repulsorlift speeder suddenly came to their way widely and stopped in front of them. The rider was dressed in a black robe, he jumped off from his mount after it stopped. Anakin could sense that the Dark Side of the Force was very strong in him, like Satine expected, they were not done yet.

The rider took off the hood, showing the red and black tattoos on his face. His yellow eyes were looking at is Anakin, but Satine was also a little bit horrified when seeing his face.

“Darth Maul!” Anakin blurted out, he always remembered this Sith Lord firstly appeared on Tatooine after them, then later in Naboo, it was him who killed his most respected Jedi Master - Qui Gon Jinn.

"We have met before?," Darth Maul asked, before Anakin replied, he continued, "Oh, I remember now, twelve years ago, in Naboo, you didn’t have the courage to stay and watch me kill Qui Gon Jinn ”The Sith Lord said with ironic tone.

"Master Qui Gon Jinn became one with the Force like a hero and you ..." Anakin looked at Moore's lower body, said, "to see if you like, I can imagine how did you survive, and how horrible your life was in all these years. If I experienced such failure, I would rather die than put so much metal on my body to live like a monster. "He mercilessly lifted Maul‘s old scar.

"Over these years, what I have experienced was a hundred times more terrible than Death." Darth Maul's voice became deeper, "and you will soon taste the power I've learned from it." Then he raise his long hilt, blade of scarlet light flashed out from both ends.

Anakin also took out his light saber and told Satine: "Get out of here. After I’m done, I will meet with you as soon as possible." Then he flashed out a blade of blue light from his hilt, started the duel.

As the Chosen one, Anakin’s talent was unmatched. After the battle with Count Dooku a few years ago, he further improved his lightsaber skills, now he was one of the best Djem So users in the history, every strike was extremely fast as lightning and overwhelming as thunder.

However, Darth Maul was not weak either. He was trained by Sidious for more than 20 years and took down many powerful individuals. After a few clashes, the Zabrak Sith Lord realized his opponent was indeed very powerful. He found he was the weaker one when the blades met head on head and matching their strength, this never happened before in any battle Darth Maul had ever encountered. Luckily, his vicious Juyo form didn‘t let him have disadvantage on pace. Anakin was the most powerful Djemo So user he had ever see. Both the attack and defense moves were so incredible. Maul was excited, he began to understand why his master paid so much attention to this young man, thus take him would bring so much joy…

After the first few clashes, Darth Maul started to change tactic, he knew that under the disadvantage of strength, the reckless, almost defenseless Juyo form were not match for the more balanced Djemo So form, it got strong attack and “offensive defense“, to counter attack right after defense, or bring the opponent‘s own blow against them. Maul unusually put away the vicious strikes of Juyo, but is choose to keep his body moving. Then use his new made double-bladed light saber‘s advantage on strike distance to attack from Anakin‘s side. Lack of mobility was Djem So form’s biggest weakness.

At the same time, Duchess Satine didn’t run away, but chose hide aside and try to find the opportunity to shoot the Sith Lord. She would never leave her friend to fight against such powerful enemy alone. But the Duchess mostly could only see two extremely fast figure, along with the afterimage of red and blue light sabers. Looks like she could not intervene the battle between such powerful Force users.

Anakin also admitted that Darth Maul really was one of the most formidable opponents he ever met. Unlike Count Dooku, who was weaker on strength and pace, but used skillful thrusts and experience to beat the two JedI. This Zabrak Sith Lord was fairly balanced, his lightsaber skills, speed and strength were all very good. Maul also figured out his lightsaber form’s weakness after a few clashes and changed tactic. But since the Sith Lord abandoned Juyo’s violent attackes, it’s not hard to deal any damage to Anakin, as long as the JedI stay calm and defend carefully. Anakin was clear that Maul would not maintain this tactic, the Sith Lord wanted him to attack recklessly, then when exhaustion comes, Maul would change back to his old way, use Juyo‘s savage attacks to bring him down. So Skywalker also adjusted his own strategy, he slightly slowed down his pace, reduced some of the offensive moves to avoid spend too much energy. Skywalker was luring Darth Maul to return to the typical way of Juyo, then start the might blow of Djem So again.

Both sides had temporarily changed from their typical way. Satine also noticed that. She raised his blaster again, patiently looking for opportunities.

Last edited by Slowpokeking; 05-16-2012 at 08:30 PM..
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Old 05-11-2012, 09:18 PM
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The end of Chapter 2.

Quote:
Seemed like Maul was the one who lost patience first, he stopped dodge and rushed toward Anakin and release a series of vicious attacks. Anakin then changed back to Djem So’s old way, launched out powerful blows. The essence of Juyo forum was to use chaotic offense to crush the opponent. If the opponent had greater strength and pace, then the Juyo user won’t be able to dominate the battle and its weakness, the lack of defense will completely expose. After Anakin blocked Maul’s several attack and immediately launch out stronger counterattacks. Maul began to hold his lightsaber hilt with both hands and his body started to whirl. That’s his special way of defense. His already horrific face was now painfully twisted and covered with sweat due to the Dark Side of the Force, made it more scary to look. Anakin’s eyes were shining with confidence, he was close to defeat the Sith Lord.

When the tide began to tilt to the Skywalker, Maul suddenly stopped his special defense moves, and used his leg to kick Anakin’s waist. The strength of his metal leg, along with the Force’s enhancement, immediately caused Skywalker’s body to lose his balance, left him in severe shock and pain. Maul's attack was not over, he immediately use lightsaber to stab the belly of Anakin.

Just like twelve years ago, he stabbed Qui Gon Jinn in the belly and killed the JedI Master.

"No!" Seeing Maul kicked Anakin, Satine subconsciously aimed the Sith Lord’s head and fired her blaster, desperate to rescue her friend.

Seeing such as powerful opponent that his master paid so much attention on, now was defeated by himself with skill and experience. Maul was so joyful and caught off guard. However, as a powerful Sith Lord, he was still able to partly dodge Satine’s ambush, only his shoulder was shot. His lightsaber’s strength was also weakened and the direction was changed, but still pierced Anakin’s abdomen.

When the Sith Lord’s attention switched to Satine, Anakin tried to endure the severe pain and used his hand to release all his remaining power, fired out a blast of telekinetic energy. Such power in a close distance instantly sent the Sith Lord to the air and heavily fell to the ground, and the telekinetic power almost shattered his mind, made him temporarily lost consciousness.

The Duchess quickly stepped forward to drag up Skywalker, she randomly fired several shots at Maul when they were fleeing. She wanted to take a look, but Anakin's injury did not allow a moment's delay.
She could feel his body was not yet cold, but he was losing his consciousness.

"Hold on, you are such a powerful Jedi, we will soon return to the spaceship, where medical droids will be ready to treat your injury, and soon you will return as the brave and unstoppable hero." Satine said softly to Anakin’s ear when she was dragging the JedI‘s body.

Lightsaber’s extremely high temperature caused the wound to curb instantly so Anakin didn‘t lose much blood, but the stab wound was still very severe. Fortunately his powerful Force maintained his life enough to let Satine brought him back to the spaceship. Then the Ducheess immediately ordered the medical droids to do their job, she also helped them to save Anakin’s life.
The medical droids and device on the ship were not enough to heal Anakin completely, only temporarily keep his life. And how were they going to contact the Republic now? More importantly, if that Sith Lord came here, what could she do? Anakin badly injured him and she shot him a few times, but from what she learned from that conversation between him and Anakin, he once was cut into half but still returned.

Satine was so tired, she could not think of a plan to solve all these problems. The Duchess started to gae at Anakin. She brought back memories of this young JedI knight, came here alone to protect her, helped her escape from Spar‘s supporters, and fight against that Sith Lord, almost lost his life. She came close to Anakin, her lips once were close to his forehead, but finally made a step back, just lay out her hand to hold Anakin's hand ...

Last edited by Slowpokeking; 05-11-2012 at 09:28 PM..
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  #15  
Old 05-11-2012, 10:32 PM
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Let me save you the time and just show you how this story ends.


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“No! I must kill the Sith” he shouted The radio said “No, Anakin. You are the Sith” And then Anakin was a Darth.
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  #16  
Old 05-11-2012, 10:38 PM
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You forgot the part where Anakin gets epic grillz and a demonic yak-back.
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  #17  
Old 05-12-2012, 01:09 PM
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First part of chapter 3

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Satine held the hand of Anakin, she shook her head and sighed again.

This young Jedi, came alone to Mandalore Sector when the situation was so unstable, willing to protect her against such enemy and was badly wounded during the fight, most of the women would be difficult to not get tempted.
But before this, more than twenty years ago, someone already did similar thing, and won her heart. Even she and Anakin firstly met because of this person.

Obi Wan Kenobi.

Yes, it was during the Mandalorian civil War, he and Master Qui Gon Jinn came to her home planet as her allies, they fought so many bounty hunters and other assassins to protect her. The affection between her and the young Jedi Obi Wane was developed at that time, but only a year later he left because of the Jedi Council reassigned them to other planets. They hadn’t met again until the crisis of the Death Watch.

Over these years, she never developed any relationship with any other man because of her affection of Obi Wan.

They met again several months earlier, but things had changed a lot.
Although they fought side by side again, but in her heart, she knew clearly this man had changed too much, they shared too little in common now, that Jedi apprentice she knew and loved was long gone. They wouldn’t get along, even if Obi Wan wasn’t a Jedi Knight .

Worse, even though he once again gave her a helping hand at the crucial moment, showing that he had not completely lost the enthusiasm, but she was not the only woman he treated like this.

Although they hadn’t contacted for a long time, she already gather a lot of information of Obi Wan secretly, his past, his whereabouts, his relationship. Overall, she’s a politician.

She was not even the first girl Obi Wan had such relationship with, and he never dropped the affection, not before he met her, not after.

Yes, he once said he would quit the JedI Order if she asked him to stay, but he must had said the same thing to other women before and after he said to her.

After the two parted away again, she decided to completely put down this relationship from her heart.

Not long ago, when Obi Wan faked his death, she was also unable to control herself and came to his funeral. After the truth was revealed, she didn‘t feel happy for Obi Wan’s survival but was devastated because she felt she was betrayed, and finally was able erase the love from her heart.

She did not blame anyone, Obi Wan never did anything wrong. It was her own mistake to love this man.

As for Anakin, she could see the difference between this young man with his master.
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Old 05-12-2012, 02:06 PM
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From his words and actions, she could feel this young man was full of passion and enthusiasm, that’s what Obi Wan once attracted him, but Anakin’s was much more stronger, it’s incredible that he still kept such enthusiasm after took the JedI training for so long.

If he and Obi Wan were not related, since her political life in Mandalore had already ended, she would not hesitate a bit to at least try to express her feeling to Anakin, regardless of the age difference between them.

But he was the apprentice of Obi Wan, she could see the bond between Anakin and his master during the crisis of the Death Watch. is the same as the eyes of her income, if she tried to express her feeling toward Anakin, then Obi Wan…

Thinking of this, Satine bitterly spit at herself.

Obi Wan could have romance with so many women without being responsible, why should she care about him anymore?

Especially now, they didn’t even know whether they would have chance to leave this planet, they might both get killed by that Sith Lord, it‘s pointless to think about Obi Wan.

She really hoped Anakin could wake up, let them know each other better.
She put her warm hand on Anakin's face, then suddenly found the visions of the JedI’s memory appeared before her own eyes.

His childhood on Tatooine.

Master Qui Gon Jinn discovered his ability and decided to train him.
His romance with Padmé in Naboo.

The Slaughter of the tribes of the sand people to avenge his mother.
There were much, much more, bit by bit in the Clone Wars.

There was a scene that caught Satine’s attention, that was Anakin expressed dissatisfaction when he heard the master had affection of the Duchess, but still obeyed the JedI Council’s order and left the planet.
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Old 05-12-2012, 03:01 PM
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What? "Satine was confused.

"Isn’t it what you want to know, girl?” Behind her, came a gentle female voice.

The surprised Duchess immediately turned her head back and took our her blaster, she already closed all the entrances, no one should be able to get in so easily.

Green mists were flowing in the cabin, and quickly formed into an image of a human female. She looks like sixty years old, both her hair and eyes were brown, dressed in brown robes. Most people would think she was a Jedi Master, if she wasn‘t formed by green mists.

"I can feel your desire to understand this man, and more eager to let this man know your feeling." The mysterious old woman gave the Duchess a very profound look.

Satine frowned, she did not like others to talk about her personal feelings in front of her, the old woman must had observed the situation for a while.
"I can help you to heal his injury," the old woman put away a smile, " the medical facilities could not hold his life for long, the Sith Lord will be restored and soon come to you, I believe you know you are not match for him, unless this man recovers from his injury. "

Satine did not answer, she knew there must have some malicious plot going on, but this old woman also need her help now. As a politician, Satine had dealt with a lot of treacherous and sinister indviduals, she had the confidence to deal with this old woman.

After took a look upon the memories of Anakin, Satine was sure this was man she wanted. He did like he said, willing to protect his loved ones with all costs, even if he had to break the discipline of the JedI. Just like herself, tried to change the tradition of the Mandalorians that lasted for millennium in order to protect her people from the bloody war.

Unfortunately, Anakin didn‘t love her, he didn’t know much about her, not yet.
So she must not miss the opportunity.

"Yes," the Duchess pretended to be helpless, sighed after she replied.

At the same time, in the cold night of Akaan, Darth Maul was healing his wound. Sith could use the power of Dark Side their injuries, but they must be able to bear the pain and not lose consciousness before the healing was complete, otherwise it would be too late to prevent the arrival of death, then the best outcome would be become a ghost, drift for thousands of years, looking to devour or corrupt curious victims.
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Old 05-12-2012, 07:25 PM
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The last part of Chapter 3.

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Unlike many manipulative Sith Lords, including his master Darth Sidious, Darth Maul is a wild beast made of darkness. He didn’t have many dirty plots in his mind, only the desire to kill. He took extremely harsh training, endured unbelievable pain and vowed to let his enemies taste what he had learn from it. That was why he survived after being cut to half by Obi Wan’s lightsaber.

He was recalling that fierce battle against Anakin during the day, this time he did not underestimate the Jedi, he almost killed Anakin with his tactic, that Duchess’ ambush caused the glorious victory escaped from his hands. After he recovered, he must go to their ship and use the most brutal way he could think of to torture them to death, then take back their heads. He knew that Skywalker lost because the Jedi training could not release his full potential. If Skywalker took the Sith training from his childhood, then it‘s even horrible to imagine how powerful would he become, maybe even surpass Maul’s master Sidious. So he must eradicate this young JedI as soon as possible.

Darth Maul suddenly heard an explosion. Not far away, he saw a mass of flames, the Sith Lord quickly went to take a look and found his speeder - Bloodfin was destroyed and burning.

Maul could feel the man who destroyed his mount did not go far, the Dark Side of the Force was strong on him, too. He tracked that man through the force, when he was close, the Sith Lord suddenly leapt up and flashed out his double-headed lightsaber.

That man quickly dodged Maul‘s strike, aware of he couldn‘t escape from Maul now, he flashed out a red light saber to fight. This man dressed in black robes, his face was fully covered. After several clashes, Maul felt his opponents was quite impressive on strength, but his light saber moves were disorganized, Looks like he was afraid to be identified by Maul.

Facing such a clumsy opponent, Maul quickly occupied the upper hand, he did not give the opponents much chance, used violent blows to constantly push him back. If not for the injury that had not been fully healed, the fighting would end a lot sonner. The enraged Sith Lord just wanted to use his lightsaber to pierce the chest of this fool, and then tear up his hood to see the true face.

When the victory was close, a dozen of rocks were suddenly smashed over to Darth Maul‘s direction. Some of them were aimed at his eyes, forced the Sith Lord to dodge.

So unfortunate, seemed like another powerful Force users had come to this planet to go against the Sith Lord. Even though Maul was usually fearless and savage, he chose to retreat because he got more important people to kill, his injuries would drag him down if the fight last for too long. That mystery man also disappeared in the night.
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  #21  
Old 05-12-2012, 08:23 PM
Sonneillon Sonneillon is offline

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Hear that Slow...

Thats the sound of crickets killing themselves.
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Old 05-13-2012, 12:55 PM
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First part of Chapter 4

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The spaceship’s original medical facilities would be difficult to hold Anakin’s life for long. Under the power of the mysterious old woman, medical droids inside the spacecraft began to be shrouded by green mists.

"How are you going to cure him?" The Duchess asked the droid coldly.

She was not eager to ask the droids to start the process, but firstly ask the details.

"His organs were hurt, because the Force was protecting his body, there is no further deterioration yet, but we need ..." The droid’s tone was different than usual. They even understood how did the Force work.

"I can handle most of the process of this surgery." Satine said after heard the droid’s introduction of the surgery. She grew up in the time of the civil war and spent a lot of time and effort to study the medical technology.
"This ..."

"I will perform the surgery, and you will assist me." She gave the order coldly.
Satine performed the surgery with her best effort, a few steps must be performed by the medical droids, she also carefully monitored the droids during those steps, and make sure those green mists did not come too close to Anakin.

She once noticed a tiny bit of the green mist, almost escaped the naked eye, were slowly trying to touch the body of Anakin, but blue light glowed near Anakin’s body and dispersed the mist.

The Force? Satine was not a Force sensitive, but she silently thanked the Force for protecting Anakin.

The surgery was successful, Anakin’s body wouldn’t take too long to recover, but his mind was still unconscious, it was unclear that when would he wake up.

As the Duchess of Mandalore, she had seen too many men, many had died before they could say any words to her, and the rest are mostly sanctimonious politicians and rude military officials. With she grew mature, she could see through these men’s mind and knew how to deal with them. The conversation with these people were mostly just cliches and lies. That’s why she kept the affection of Obi Wan for so long until finally realized that Obi Wan was long "dead".

But Anakin, like she had already seen and thought about, it was really difficult for her to resist. While his love, had not belong to her yet.

She had only seen such glare from one man before.

Of course, the feeling toward that person was not love, but the deepest respect.
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Old 05-13-2012, 01:48 PM
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Too bad she couldn’t attend his funeral because of the serious crisis on her own planet during that time, it had been one of the things she regret the most in her life.

Now she was with Anakin, she swore she would never let him fall before her eyes.

The young JedI was in a coma now, the best way to express her feeling of him, was to use her best effort to take care and protect him. Satine hated to pretend to be delicate and weak to gain man’s compassion, while it usually is a very effective way to win man’s heart.

She really hope Anakin could know what she did for him.

While except those mysterious green mists, there was nothing wrong, but she still could not put her guard down.

They could not just stay here forever. That dangerous old woman and that Sith Lord both would make move against them.

She silently prayed to the Force, then she saw Anakin was surrounded with blue glow. At the same time, the green mists all but disappeared in the ship, it seems that the Force had answered her.

Satine thanked the Force, then she started her work, trying to fix the communication device.

She knew a little bit about how to fix these devices but was not very proficient. Fortunately, the device wasn’t badly damaged. That Force even tried to help her to strengthen the power of the device. They could only send brief message to Coruscant but it should be enough. When Satine touched that blue glow of the Force, she felt familiar with it.

She chose to communicate with Palpatine, the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic.

"Chancellor Palpatine, your highness. this is Duchess Satine Kryze of Kalevala. " Satine didn’t forget the etiquette, but she must explain the situation clearly as soon as possible, "Anakin and I were trapped in the planet of Akaan of our sector. He was also injured, we are facing the threat of a Sith Lord and a witch. I hope you to send reinforcement as soon as possible, thanks. "

Right after she had finished these words, the communication was interrupted, seeing the image of Palpatine nodded before disappearing, she once again close your eyes and prayed again to the Force.

Anakin had not yet regained consciousness, He felt his mind was filled by mysterious Force power and still in chaos.

Strangely, he could not remember what happened, only felt pain of his belly.
He felt there was a woman beside him, she was very friendly and was taking care of him.

Although he did not see her face, he could that this woman had feeling toward him, she care about him a lot.

"Padmé, is that you?"

In this moment, he firstly thought about his wife.

He first met Padmé on Tatooine when he was just nine, he never saw such a beautiful girl before. At that time he asked her ”Are you an angel?”, also promised to her: When he grew up, he would marry her.
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Old 05-13-2012, 04:07 PM
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He first met Padmé on Tatooine when he was just nine, he never saw such a beautiful girl before. At that time he asked her ”Are you an angel?”, also promised to her: When he grew up, he would marry her.
Ten years later, they grew affection in Naboo and married secretly.

In order to protect Padmé, his must become more powerful, never let the tragedy of his mother happen on her.

He could only remember these two, the most important people in his life.
As for others, he could only find vague images in his memory, regardless of how hard he tried to think and remember.

He was so tired, but still didn‘t give up, he planned to find more memory through the most important people he could remember.

His efforts were not entirely wasted, and Padmé memory, an image was getting closer. It was man in his mid-thirties. Anakin had very strange feelings for him, he was very familiar, but he didn’t feel they are really close.

"I'm sorry, Anakin."

Just as he was about to recall the name of this figure, a voice suddenly appeared in his mind.

Visions that he had never seen before suddenly appeared in Anakin mind, interrupted him when he was so close to remember who that image was.
Like the vision of his mother‘s death, but this time, they were more strange and hard to imagine.

"No, no, Padmé, no ..."

The Anakin body could not help trembling, his forehead was full of sweat.
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Old 05-13-2012, 06:11 PM
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The end of Chapter 4.

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“Witch! What have you done?! " Satine shouted out. She looked around and saw no green mist, then she approached Anakin, used her hands to hug the JedI‘s head, and let her cheek to attach his face.

The Duchess knew there is nothing to concern now, this man needed her protection, just like she once needed his. She had to express what she felt about him. Thinking again about Obi Wan, who she no longer loved would be silly.

This man was very good, but his heart belonged to another woman, and even got married, would this be a huge mistake?

No, don’t think like this again, all she wanted to do was to let him know and feel her affection. She would not force him to do anything.

At the moment Satine’s cheek attached his face, Anakin realized this woman was not Padmé, he could not help and shivered his body due to the surprise. Was this woman relate to the horrible visions he just saw?

That voice, the voice of an elder appear again in his mind again, "Do not worry, Anakin, she is not malicious, not at all."

Anakin could not remember who that was, But he found he trusted this voice so much, without knowing his identity. His body no longer shivered.
"You are in great danger, what you just saw were pieces of the future. That woman, is the only trustworthy people in this crisis." The kind voice was full of regret and frustration, "I'm sorry, Anakin. I just ... I just couldn’t find a better way to help you go through. Remember, nobody is not reliable than her, not even ..."

That voice did not continue to go on. No matter how many times Anakin tried to ask questions, there was no answer.

It’s strange, Anakin could not remember who that man was, but he totally trust this voice, he must also be very important to him.

Now he knew that he must recover as soon as possible.

"Thank you, lady.“ Anakin said softly.

Satine was already very tired after the surgery and watched Anakin for more than ten hours. When that came to her ear, her beautiful face returned Anakin with a smile, even though he might not see it.

Shortly after, Satine finally could not hold anymore, she fell asleep on the side of Anakin.

She did not know that not far from the ship, massive amount of green mists were gathering.

They tried to invade the ship again, but didn’t work.

"We still need some time to complete it, my strength was still keep flowing away," said a husky voice.

"Let me go…inside…and…" a burly figure near those mists spoke out, he seemed injured.

"No, the force was strong in him, once he detected our hostility, everything will be undone." the husky voice spoke slowly.

"Do not worry, I found the key to solve this, and soon I will become stronger than ever. and you will be greatly rewarded. "
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