Hey all,

This is my first attempt at writing anything in the Warcraft Universe (also my first attempt at fanfic in any sense). I got the idea to write the entire story of my WoW character over the course of playing the game for 8 years just because of how pivotal the player is in the sense of the game. Since writing that entire saga would be a massive undertaking, I decided to start with pivotal battles that were epic the first time I accomplished them. Once I get a collection I might try to patch them together into a full story. While trying to write gameplay into a story, it does sometimes seem a little far-fetched, but I try to assuage that by not including myself in EVERY little thing that happens, even though my character has done it in-game. Still, being in the force that silenced Old Gods, defeated elemental lords, killed important figureheads such as Illidan, Arthas, Deathwing, etc, I feel like the story of one of these soldiers would be an epic tale. This isn't Middle Earth we're talking about here, but Azeroth, where war is all that's known and the best fighters do the impossible every day. I feel like an elite group of soldiers that serve as a spearhead for the major engagements in Azeroth would consistently be involved in major undertakings, without any recognition from the public, much like Special Forces teams on Earth.

So without further ado, I present part one of the final assault on the Lich King. Please let me know what you think, I want to hear it if you think it's boring and uninteresting

P.S. - The names are all based on actual guildmates who were part of the 10-man team I led into ICC and their character personalities tend to match the personality of the player. While this is something that adds to the story for me and those 9 other people, I hope it adds some depth for a random reader as well.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Here's the second part of the story and the beginning of the fight against the Lich King. I have always imagined what some of the fights in WoW would be like if they were executed in more realistic fashion (as opposed to video game mechanics), and did my best translating the in-game fight into an action-packed real-time combat scenario. This part of the story encompasses phase 1 and phase 1.5 for anyone that has done the in-game version. The only game mechanics I left out were "Infest" and "Pain and Suffering," not to mention a decrease in the number of times "Shadow Trap," "Necrotic Plague," and summon undead are used. I hope the words can accurately portray the action that happens in my head, as well as maintain a believable premise. Also, I know it's "against the rules" to have main characters in Warcraft lore use dialogue, but I grabbed all of Tirion and Arthas' quotes directly from their in-game lines, so it's safe to say that they stay perfectly in-character.

In case anyone's reading this, I finished the last part. It's pretty long, but since most of it is dialogue that happened in game, there's not that much actual content. I enjoyed writing this at the least, so hopefully someone enjoys reading it!

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A wild timeline appears!
Clicking Rend and keyboard turning since 2006.
RIP Rend (2004-2012).

Your first attempt at fan fiction? You must have written something else, then, because it's quite good. I especially liked the battle scenes. You worked in the in-game dialogue very smoothly.

It would be interesting to write a story for each major battle. Maybe not have the same character(s) participate it each, but just to chronicle the adventures in Azeroth. Of course one of the problems with that is that most of your readers will already know how the story ends. You might play around with some drama for the champions involved.

Anyway, I can't think of any particular criticisms for this story off the top of my head, other than I got a little confused as to which character was which - probably I don't know the characters very well. It's hard to introduce so many characters in such a short space, but I know you need them all to fill in the 10-man raid. I don't know a good way to handle that other than to let most of them fade into the background. Sam was a little unsure of himself, but he did seem to take charge which fit the role perfectly. He was a leader but he was human, too. I loved Archie, he was so unique.

Keep writing. You've made a good start.

Thanks, I really appreciate it. And no, I haven't written much of anything other than when I was forced to in school. I suffer from a lack of original ideas, which is why I'm writing in this style. I hope to write others that serve as prequels that introduce the characters better, so you'll know who is who by the time battle scenes roll around. As I pointed out at the beginning, all these characters are based off the people that played them. I really didn't alter their personalities much at all. Sam is myself, as I was forced into a raid leader role when I didn't really want it, since I had been around the longest and did the work to bring a 10 man together after our 25 mans started to fall apart. We succeeded quickly, and I got multiple complements on how well I fulfilled the role, even though I thought I was doing a terrible job. And as for Archie, I wish he was still around because he was a really fun guy to raid with .

Also, for other battles that I write, some of the heroes will be killed during the fight, tying into the whole story (since they stopped raiding or stopped playing at a certain point). Because of the mechanics of the Lich King fight, there wasn't really a way to incorporate that.

__________________
A wild timeline appears!
Clicking Rend and keyboard turning since 2006.
RIP Rend (2004-2012).

You may have heard of my reputation as the self-appointed editor and critic of this forum. Sadly, that's been suffering noticably since I started trying to write original work, and WarCraft, and edit (and look for a job). Let's see, it only took me a month to get around to this. So, yeah, my apologies if you were counting on this.

Just scanning the first paragraph, it's clear you know what you're doing. Perhaps that's what you meant by "first attempt at writing anything in the Warcraft Universe." Still, there are a few points I feel compelled to make.

First, "raid group," "kiting," and other gameplay terms have no place in a work of fiction, save perhaps for humor. As the meme has become, "You're ruining my immersion!"

On the first sentence, I'd be more careful about how much you try to cram in at once. A lot of people get caught up in the "this is so awesome" factor of writing. I can tell you from personal experience this is a surefire way to produce crap. You'll produce a lot of it, but it'll still be crap. Don't be afraid to slow down, especially here at the beginning, where accesibility is of paramount importance. If the reader never gets past the first few sentences, everything that follows is irrelevant.

On the subject of openings, I usually begin by describing the environment. Such descriptions help the reader to put him/herself in the position of the characters, thus establishing immersion, the key to getting readers "hooked."

"No one" is properly two words, but it's nature as a single concept makes me favor the unified "no-one." "Noone" is just confusing.

My computer doesn't like the sentences starting with 'although,' even with comma separation. Perhaps 'however' would be better.

One of the finer points of writing is a rule best described as "show, don't tell." Jumping into the middle of a story is inadvisable (though it may be nessecitated by the short story format) because you tend to end up with a lot of "catching up" at the beginning. A list of "X had happened," "Y had happened, etc. is boring, the last thing you want in the introductory phase. A good author will find ways to slip this information into the story without breaking step. Perhaps the raid group should be discussing the hell they've just been through, even if they are exhausted and beaten down. This also establishes their roles and personalities far more effectively than simply stating them.

Given his 'highlord' title, "Lord Fordring" might be more appropriate, though he might've gone by "Sir Tirion" in days gone by. The previous Highlord of the Silver Hand was addressed as "Lord Uther" in War3.

Wierd. "Archibald Duskhallow" sounds more like a Worgen. Yes, I know you didn't pick these characters.


So that's my running commentary on the first post. I have to say, your grammar and punctuation is quite possibly the best I've seen on these forums. There were perhaps two relatively minor issues in the whole three-page segment; you clearly have substantial experience at putting words on paper. The points that need work are the finer ones, which tend to be subtle, hard-to-explain things like the tendency of characters to be stiff and stereotypical. Remember, everyone has a past that makes them respond in certain ways. The story is not about what happens to the characters; it's about how they react to it.

That said, this meets my apporval. Above all, keep writing: practice makes perfect.

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Every ending is but a new beginning.

Thanks for the tips Dark. Part of the reason the beginning sucks is because I actually plan to write much more in the sense of what happens before and after this. In my grand scheme, this is just a chapter or two in the whole thing. If I ever write it all, this would be edited a bit to fit in, and you would know the characters much better by then.

I felt weird saying "raid group" at first, but then I realized it's actually a legitimate name for a group of soldiers fighting through a stronghold. But I guess due to WoW, the term takes a different meaning and "ruins the immersion." I'll probably change it to something like "strike team" or "task force."

As for Archie's name, that was the first adaptation that came to mind from the character's name (which was "Archemedusk," we called him "Archie"). Since writing this, I started developing rough outlines of everyone's backstory and I realized "Archeme" would not only be a suitable name, but probably more fitting for a night elf. I haven't changed it yet, but I might depending on opinions I get from others. I'll probably add the compendium of backstories for each character as an appendix to this, just so you can know the characters better before reading this particular story.

And honestly, this is the first creative work I've done in three years, and the first that I wasn't forced to do. The only writing I've done in between is technical papers and such. Though I do read a lot of books, so that probably helps. But I appreciate the complements, it's good to know that my first effort isn't a total failure .

Edit: Would you believe I wrote this in a simple text editor with no spellcheck? Don't ask why...

__________________
A wild timeline appears!
Clicking Rend and keyboard turning since 2006.
RIP Rend (2004-2012).