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Old 10-29-2010, 03:47 PM
Defiler Defiler is offline

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Default Lost in rage(an amateur story)

Not sure about the name, cuz I had to quickly think of it in like 5 minutes before posting my story here. Please note that there might be a lot of differences from the original lore. Everything has been converted as much as possible, to be closer to reality. For example, the world enlarged, traveling takes more time, fights are a little bit more realistic, as being stabbed does pose a real threat..etc. Ou and the story isn't finished yet. I'm working on it atm. I originally wanted to write it for myself, because I really love warcraft lore. But I eventually realized that, without people to share it with, I don't get fired up enough at writing It looses it's ..fragrance or so to speak. Anyhow..please enjoy, because I sure did.

P.S. Also note that I'm not an english major. A lot of things I was not able to express in words to the fullest. And this is the first time I wrote something this major in English. So you will see, that at a lot of places, a small vocabulary is kinda messing up the whole view.(and there might be a lot of grammar mistakes)

Aaand..here we go:

How it all Began:

I never liked the adventurous type of life, always prefered the peaceful life, full of happy and frivolous moments. Of course I'm not so optimistic that I wouldn't expect harder times or so. But that didn't bothered me. Because I lived for the good times. Always dreaming, always hoping.
Back in the day, I was just a simple merchant. Traveling from Lordaeron to Hillsbrad foothills and beyond, stopping at certain points to drop off my packages. Life was simple. Life was peaceful. In my mid 40's I got married, got myself two children – a girl and a boy. My wifes name was Scarlet, the children: girl – Rose, boy – Roy.

After that I quit my job as a merchant and settled down in trisfall glades. Built a house, grew some grain and lived on with my family. I guess those were the happiest days of my life, I wanted to grow old and watch my children create their own family. It was one of those days that I was working the fields, when my old friend Jack visited us with a request. He worked as a merchant with me back in the day, we frequently traveled together and he remained a merchant even until this day. Jack got a big request and he needed help getting the goods to Ironforge so he figured that I would help him this one time, for old times sake. I discussed it with my wife and agreed with his request. Obviously he would share the pay with me and I needed the money to buy better farming equipment. So we set off, for a 2 week long journey to Ironforge.

I left my son in charge of the farm for the time being and ordered him to take care of his mother and sister while I'm away. While traveling Jack told me stories of unrest in the kingdom. About the food supply in some villages being poisoned and people turning into undead. About prince Arthas returning from his expedition to northrend. And that's when we found out. On the first week of our travel, while we were in Arathi highlands we found out about Arthas betrayal, about him killing his own father, the King, about the the invasion of the scourge, the massacre of Lordaeron. That our once wonderful Capital fell in one day. I quickly decided to go back to my wife and children, to make sure they're safe, to get them out of trisfall Glades and to find a safer place for them. While hurrying back I encountered a lot of fleeing people. People trying to escape the clutches of the Scourge. I even encountered some undead, who were fighting the guards, that were trying to protect the fleeing civilians. The remnants of the glorious army of Lordearon. When I finally got back home, I found my farm burned, my house ruined. My wife and children, lying on the doorstep, slaughtered, their blood and organs all over the place. My son was holding a sword, probably tried to defend his sister and mother as best as he could, just as I asked him. I was devastated, lost.

I build a fire and burned my family, so that they wouldn't turn into the undead. After that I went back to my ruined house and sat down on the floor in front of the fireplace. I sat there for 5 hours, just looking at one spot, with my mind blank as a white sheet of paper. And suddenly I stood up. Went upstairs and took my sword. There was only one thought in my mind – revenge. In those hours that I sat, doing nothing, I realized that there was only one thing left inside of me – hatred. Burning hatred for all the undead. I went towards Lordearon, with only one thought in mind – kill Arthas. The reason for all this.

There was no logic in my actions. I didn't think clearly. It was a stupid impulse, but that did not concern me. I had a reason to live. And revenge was that reason. It made me go forward. While going to Lordearon I encountered some skirmishes between desperate fighters, and the undead. I myself even killed a couple. As I fought my way towards the gates of Lordearon I noticed that there were more and more undead spewing out the city, but most of them were ignoring me, they had different orders. And then I froze up. After the undead, from the dark gates of Lordearon came forth a tall dark figure. Holding an icy sword in his hand, with white hair and cold eyes – Arthas. He was standing in front of me and his cold, chilling eyes were drilling through my skull. An evil grin covered his face. He looked at me like at some insect trying to move a boulder, a thousand times bigger then him.
“What's your name?” - he asked with a cold voice.
I looked at him, hands shaking with fear and anger. My sword was getting heavy, my feet didn't listen to me anymore.
With a shaking voice I replied - “Delorian”.
“What an interesting name” - said Arthas and lifted his sword - “no-one will remember you” - and swung it at me.
It happened so fast that I didn't even realize when I was already lying on the ground, mortally injured, lying in my own blood and tears. My eyes fixed on Arthas the whole time. I looked at him when everything else kept getting darker and darker. Finally the light left my eyes and the last thing I heard amidst the sound of undead marching and screams of the remaining humans was Arthas laugh and his words
“Such hate, such blood thirst. What a perfect minion. You will serve the Scourge for an eternity. That's a curse even I wouldn't wish for you”.
And then everything became dark. .

Awakening:
Darkness surrounded me. Darkness and nothingness. Sometimes it was ripped and I heard people screaming and sometimes I heard a cold, dark voice, whispering something to me, something that I couldn't hear clearly, but at the same time understood. But that didn't happen often. Somehow, nothing mattered naither time, naither feelings, naither my thoughts. I just drifted, thinking nothing, feeling nothing. I have no idea how long it lasted. But it ended. Ot ended suddenly, after what felt like a decade of nothingness, it suddenly became bright. I somehow felt my body. Not normally, I didn't feel warm or anything, but I felt like I existed. I could move..

I opened my eyes to find myself in a forest. The sun shined brightly through the branches of the trees. It blinded me. I looked around, but didn't see anyone. I was alone. I stood still for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts. Where am I? Didn't I die? What happened? And then I remembered..my family, Lordearon, Arthas, a quick strike, his last words. I quickly lifted up my hands, looked at them – they were dried up, bloodless...dead. I was dead. I fell on the ground after realising this. I was reanimated. I became a servant of the Lich king. But how come I can think? How come I can move on my own? I remember a voice commanding me all this time, moving me in my place, like a puppet. But it's silent. I could only hear my own thoughts. Am I free? But why?. Fuck it, I need to find out where I am. What forest is this. I need to get back home. Home ? But where is my home? Didn't the scourge kill my family and destroy my home? Didn't I loose the place I belong to ? Wait..Arthas. That's right. I remembered that moment. That feeling. Anger? no..it's something stronger and deeper. Revenge. Yes, I remembered the thirst for revenge. My only reason to exist..to kill Arthas.

After remembering the most important thing – the meaning to my existance, regaining my feelings I finally felt like I exist. Like I have a reason to exist. After that I started walking. After looking at myself I realised that I need better cloths, because I was covered in rags. So I walked and walked waiting to see the end of the forest, but the end never came. It made me feel that the forest is never ending, but I had to continue walking. It was good that I didn't need food nor water. I didn't feel fatigue. That really made everythign easier. I guess there are some good sides to being undead.

I walked for over 2 days and still no end in sight. Accursed forest. At the end of the third day, when it was already dark I saw a feint light. I walked towards that light helplessly. Like clinging to a string, for survival. When I reached it, I found a fire. A lone fire with noone around. I looked around. There was a bag, left on the roots of a tree, close by the fireplace. But noone in sight. I sat down and stretched my hands towards the fire to get warm.
„oh right, I don't feel anything“ - I quickly realised.
Thus I pulled my hands back. It's strange, now that I think about it, not feeling anything. Naither hunger, nor cold or warmth. Somehow..it's lonely. At least I still have my feelings. The burning revenge, it somehow served me as that fire, warming me up. Not in a pleasant way, but hey, it's better then nothing. After sitting for a while I looked at the bag, that was left near the fireplace. I couldn't ressist and grabed it, started checking what's inside. For my suprise inside were clothes. I took them out and tried them on. It was a worn out suit. But it fit me perfectly. How lucky. One problem down. After lingering for a while I decided to rest (even if I don't need to ) next to the fireplace until morning. I'm in no rush aither way. I doubt I'll find Arthas soon.

I lied down and tried to sleep. Closed my eyes and was engulfed in darkness again. I quickly got up..that feeling..it reminded me of when I was mindless. It was scary. I definitelly didn't want to feel that again. And then I heard something. Footsteps and something else. Someone was coming over. I quickly hid behind a tree and waited. Who could it be ? An enemy ? How will I defend myself. I waited, looking at the direction from which the sound was coming from. Time moved by slowly, seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours. Step by step something was coming with a strange banging sound. I was afraid. I felt fear, the fear of dying again. Somehow I didn't want to die again, I was prepaired to fight till the end, to try to survive no matter what. And then..that something emerget from the shadows and stepped into the light of the fireplace. It was an undead. A tall udnead, wearing strange robes and holding on to a scary looking staff with skulls all over. He was looking towards me. He knew where I was. What should I do? Suddenly a fireball was thrown towards me, consuming the tree I was hiding behing in flames. I fell on the ground.
„You have the insolence to hide behind that tree even when you know, that I know, you're hiding behind it? Stand up, awakened one“.
I stood up, „awakened one? What does he mean? Does he mean the fact that I regained my thoughts?“.
„What's your name?“ - the strange undead asked.
My name? I tried to remember my name, image after image flashed through my mind of my past life. And I remembered - „Delorian“ - I said.
„Delorian? What a stupid name. It was your past life, you should get a new one for this one. Well never mind, for now it will do, because you aren't completely reborn yet. From now on you are my student. I will teach you everything I know. So you can carry on my ways.Follow me now.“ - spoke the dark figure.
„Excuse me..could you tell me how to call you?“ - I asked.
„How to call me ? Good question. Call me master. You're not ready for my name“ - he replied.
How arrogant – I thought. But I followed him. We walked for about a day and a half. Without a single word or stop. Just walking. Until we reached a mansion. It was an old, broken down mansion, but you could still see that it was once a wonderfull place, where rich people lived. „Wait..wasn't this the home of the merchant king Dorahan?“ - I asked.
„ It was, but now it isn't“ - replied the Master with a grin on his face.


Life with the „master“:

And thus my new life began. Every day I listened to everything that strange guy told me and practiced everything for days. Time flew fast. I learned more and more. Became more powerful and started to realise that. Adding to the practice I do for his teachings I started practicing in my own way sometimes, trying out improvise spells and such. It was kindda interesing. I also found a library in that guys mansion. It was filled with a lot of spell books and other things. So in my free time I read those, learning new things. Even new professions. All for the sake of my only meaning to life..or un-life to be precise. After 10 years I learned almost everything that old fool wanted to teach me and the time of me leaving has almost come. „Don't think that you can just go after learning everything“ - one day „master“ said - „you have to first kill me to be free from my teachings. Only then will you become the master“. That of course surprised me but at the same time I liked it. I never liked this mean old bastard, who always liked to make things harder and insulted me a lot. Making me call him master. I was grateful for teaching me his ways, but for what price..So I worked even harder, with more dedication, trying to master all of his teachings, wanting to defeat him. Somehow the thought of killing him never bothered me. It was almost natural to me, so I didn't think much of it.

After a long time of training, practicing and creating my own spells, I finally fought with my master and emerged victorious. The fight wasn't very long and I realized, that the arrogant old fool was already weak, and was desperately trying to pass on his ways, trying to continue what he previously got from his trainer. After defeating him, I found out his name, which was Helcular. And so, I finally became my own master. I gathered what I need for my travels and prepared to depart on my journey for revenge. Before I left Helcular, expressed his disappointed in the fact, that I didn't kill him, but I replied that there was no need for his death. There is no point in killing that, what might be useful to me in the future. He smiled and gave me his staff „Take this then, I wont be needing it anymore, and I packed a special set of robes in your bag. They will prove useful for you in the future“. I thanked him and departed. Finally..finally I can take larger leaps towards my goal – I thought. But only later will I realize, that things are never simple. I'm still far..very far from that, what I want and will have to face a lot of annoying situations, which will hinder my progress.


The first encounter, village massacre:

It was a late evening. The sun was ending it's journey in the sky, preparing to hide behind the horizon. It was an interesting view. At least it would be, if not for the smoke coming from the middle of the forest. The smoke was coming from a village, which was under fire. You could hear screams and and shouts. Everyone running to all sides, real chaos. It was a small village which was dangerously close to the scarlets outposts and their religions center – scarlet monastery. And that is why it was attacked. With almost no protection it seemed that all is lost. Only a few guards were trying to defend, fighting a desperate fight against the attackers. But one of the defenders stood out. It was a dark figure, dressed in dark red, wielding two daggers, moving with haste and striking with accuracy he killed many scarlets, but the odds were terrible. There were fifteen scarlets and he was left alone. All the guards were already defeated and thrown into a fire, that was created by scarlets. Most of the civilians made it into the forest, where their chances of survival were much higher then remaining in the village.

To get a strategic advantage the dark figure retreated into one of the houses. Which was a inn. He barricaded the door and looked around for a way out. All the tables were knocked to the floor, broken bottles everywhere. A real mess. Once a fun place with music and good booze, now an abandoned dump. And then his eyes noticed something. A bag was left on the bar and the storage door was open. A faint light could be seen in there. The figure quickly vanished into the shadows, not knowing what to expect – an enemy or an ally. The scarlets were already ramming the doors, preparing to break in. And then, the faint light disappeared. From the storage room came forth an undead, dressed in purple robes, holding a staff, emitting a dark, sinister glow, he was carrying a satchet which seemed full of something. He, with no rush seen in his movements, walked to the bar and filled it's contents with the satchet. The strange mage picked up his bag and turned around. His eyes, burning with a strange dark glow, which could almost be called yellow, but it was hard to see the color. After turning around the mage took a few steps and stopped. After standing there for a moment he, for the first time, spoke “how long are you gonna hide there? You either attack or stop these silly games of yours”. Surprised the remaining guardian of the village(or so it would seem) revealed himself to the mage and asked “friend or foe?”. The mage looked at him with a grin “If I was a foe, you would already be dead”. After saying those words he started walking towards the barricaded door which was constantly rammed by the scarlet and it seemed that it wont withstand much more. But it didn't seem to matter to the mage. The guardian, angered by the mages arrogance still felt some concern and quickly yelled “Wait, there are a dozen scarlet outside, where do you think you're going ? You'll get yourself killed!”. But the mage didn't stop, he made a quick hand movement and tossed a fire ball at the door, completely dissintegrating it and blasting away the scarlet, that were standing next to it, also litting some of them on fire.

The remaining scarlet backed off with surprise and concentrated their looks at the door. From the shadow of the inn the mage emerged. And stood before the scarlet. “What a welcoming party, I didn't know I was so popular amongst the scarlets” - said the mage, with ridicule in his voice. After that, the ranks of the scarlets moved, letting a tall figure come forth. “Ah, we finally found you accursed undead. There is a price for your head. The head priest of the scarlet monastery ordered to hunt you down and bring your head to him as proof. It seems luck is smiling to me today. I am the high captain of the scarlet guard in this region. My name is Romuald and I shall be the one to take your head Delorian the Defiler.” Romuald lifted his sword, tightly gripping it with both hands and stood in an aggressive stance, preparing to charge at Delorian. “Ou, it has been a long time since I heard my name, from my previous life. But please, call me Defiler. It's much simpler, since you'll die either way. Come, human slave. You and your brain washed community are not worth of living.” - quickly replied Defiler and stretched his arms across, lifting his head high and chanting something. Romuald didn't wait for him to finish chanting and quickly charged forward, but he was too late, because as soon as he got near enough to swing his sword, he was blasted back by a strong force. A blast of fire to all sides came from Defiler, blasting Romuald and most of his fighters black. Defiler didn't wait for them to get up and rained fire and shadow to all sides, finishing fighter after fighter, after that he ran to the right side, over the bodies of the dead scarlet, stopped for a moment, stretched his arm towards the dead and again, started chanting.

Romuald got up after the blast and was astonished of the speed, at which Defiler casted his spells. Angered by the loss of his comrades again charged towards Defiler, only to be stopped in his tracks by the sight that was in front of him. His dead comrades rose up. Not being able to die peacefully they were reanimated by Defiler. “Now my minions, attack your former captain and tear him limb from limb, show me a wonderful view, I'm looking forward to it” - spoke Defiler. The dead scarlets, picked up their weapons and slowly started to walk towards their captain, their looks, dead and emotionless – brainless puppets. Romuald started trembling. Boiling with rage he stood firm, lifted his sword and with an angry shout he ran towards Defiler, cutting his way through his dead comrades, with no hesitation, no remorse. Rage boiled in his veins. Revenge, consumed yet another person. Defiler, after seeing such a view quickly casted a few bolts of shadow and fire at Romuald, but all in vein, because the anger in Romuald was so strong that it made his body numb and immune to pain. He ignored all the damage he received from Defiler and after reaching him, swung his sword, cutting Defiler in half.

Surprised that it was so easy, Romuald stood in front of the body of Defiler, breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath. And that's when he noticed that his reanimated comrades didn't fall to the ground, as he has seen so many times when he slayed a necromancer. It was something new to him and made him think, that maybe the reanimated dead sometimes remain even after the death of their master. That would indeed mean that Defiler was a formidable foe. He picked up his sword again and charged in the middle of them, and started swinging his sword to all sides, cutting down every one of the dead. “Rest in peace brothers” - he whispered afterwards. But what he didn't notice as he was preoccupied with his reanimated comrades, was that a strange light engulfed Defiler and after it fading he stood up, like nothing happened. He lifter his arm, with his palms faced upward a big ball of fire was conjured. “Did you think you can get rid of me so easily? Please..don't underestimate me” - spoke Defiler to the back of Romuald, smiling with satisfaction as he saw his face, full of surprise and fear. And threw the ball of fire at him, lighting Romuald a blaze, watched as he fell to the ground, screaming in agony, dying bit by bit. Burning to death. What a cruel death indeed. After that Defiler burned all the dead and, after picking up any useful materials left. Leaving the village abandoned and silent. No more happy voices will be heard in it. Another victim of the fight between the living and the undead.

A new friend or foe?

After the fight with the scarlet Defiler continued his journey. In this long time he realized that what he needed, to defeat Arthas was power. As much of it as possible. So Defiler searched, for artifacts, for sources of power, wanting to gain it at any means necessary.

After a day of walking Defiler noticed that someone was following him. Thinking that some scarlet still survived, the undead corrupted a few trees as a barrier for that annoying pest and continued forward. Afterwards he did not sense any presence so decided to camp out, since he needed to make some potions from the supplies salvaged from the inn previously mentioned. Plus he had to prepare for any possible battles that might come in the future.

While mixing the potions and conjuring healthstones Defiler noticed that someone was watching him.
“So I didn't loose that annoying pest?,” he thought.
“Come out and stop annoying me. If you're gonna attack - attack now, because you wont be getting such a chance again” - Defiler yelled to the pest.
From the shadows of the forest came the guard that Defiler encountered in the inn.
“And here I thought that I could secretly follow you around” - laughed the guard. “ My name is Erland. I'm a rogue that was stationed by the order of Lady Sylvanas in the village of Shadowyard to protect it from the scarlet. But I failed. I heard of you, Delorian the Defiler. You are quite the celebrity amongst the Forsaken - a lone warlock, traveling across Azeroth, in search for sources of power, in a quest to kill Arthas. Just because of your quest the dark Lady decided to leave you be, and not kill you. You're a lucky one, aren't you?”
Defiler stopped mixing his potions and looked at Erland
“ It is the Lady that is lucky that she does not have to face my wrath. Or should I say that Arthas is lucky, for getting all the attention from me ? That is indeed a dilemma..” - stated Defiler.
Erland quickly took out his daggers.
“How dare you insult our Lady?? She is the one that freed us from the hands of the Lich King, and the one who guides us. I will not tolerate such insolence” - he yelled.
Defiler looked at Erland again, with a sorry look.
“Put down your weapons boy, do you think that your Lady will be happy after hearing about your failure ? You'll probably be killed or sent to the dungeons. Plus it was not the Lady that freed us. We were freed because the Lich King was loosing power, thus he could not control all of his minions. Sylvanas herself was freed that way. So stop daydreaming” - Defiler explained.
The rogue looked at defiler for a while and finally decided to put away his weapons sitting down near the fireplace. After that Defiler continued mixing potions.

Erland watched him closely, after Defiler finished with the potions, he got a few books from his bags and started reading. He continued to read for hours, with no stops, following the text with his finger, sometimes stopping for a moment, or reading a sentence or two again.
“What are you doing?” - asked Erland.
“What does it look like? Reading. And I prefer to NOT be interrupted.” -quickly replied Defiler. “But WHAT are you reading? Mixing potions, reading, do you ever do nothing? Rest? You either travel, or as I can see, work” - didn't let up Erland.
Defiler sighted and closed the book, discarded it and turned towards Erland.
“What I do is my own personal business and none of your concern. And how come you're so friendly all of a sudden? If you think you will travel with me, then you are mistaken. I travel alone. And for what I'm reading..that is also not your concern. I'm studying.” - slowly replied Defiler, with a slight hint of annoyance in his voice.
“ Oh, so even the mighty Defiler can get annoyed sometimes? I Thought you're the cold, silent type.” - laughed Erland only to be interrupted by a fire bolt, that hit the tree behind him.
“What a temper..” thought Erland.
“So how long have you been traveling on your so called quest? You really think you can kill Arthas ? Why don't you join the ranks of the Dark Lady? I'm sure you'd be a valuable edition to our ranks. And I have no doubt that you'd receive an important rank and role since you're Forsaken whether you want it or not.” - stated Erland.
“I have no intention of joining the ranks of your master. I don't like to be commanded. I do what I want, how I want, when I want. And I WILL kill Arthas sooner or later. It's only a matter of time. While he's having fun killing off humans, I'm actually getting more and more powerful. Soon he will fall by my hand” - replied Defiler, with certainty.
“And what's after that? What will happen after you kill Arthas?” - asked Erland.
“We'll see. Probably the end. I won't have any meaning to exist anymore, thus I'll end my existance. It's that simple” - silently spoke Defiler.
Erland kept silent after hearing those words. What a strange person. Existing for this single purpose, of killing Arthas. How stupid it sounds. Is the lust for vengeance the only thing that is inside of him? Did he abandon all that he was? Such and other thoughts traveled in his mind. Trying to understand Erland constantly kept thinking, with no answer in sight.


It's morning. The sun was just peeking from the horizon, stretching it's bright tentacles everywhere, engulfing all in light. Defiler was already traveling by then. But this time, he was not alone. Just five meters behind him the rogue Erland, was also walking. Even when Defiler told him not to follow, he still did. What could have possibly made him follow Defiler? The most hated being amongst the Forsaken. Feared and hated, since he does not care what he kills, as long as something is standing in his way, keeping him from his goal, he strikes it down and continues to move forward. He killed a lot of humans, but also..a couple of undead that thought they could get in his way. It's a miracle that Lady Sylvanas hasn't put a bounty on his head, or sent the Deathstalkers after him. Even If he is powerful, eventually he would meet his end. Strange indeed.

After walking through all of Trisfal Glades, the duo approached the Bulwark – a barricade keeping travelers from entering western plaguelands - a dangerous land, full of scarlets and mindless undead. Defiler stopped for a moment and took out a black cloak from his bag, put it on and continued to walk.
“If you wish to continue following me, you better keep quiet and nod to everything I say. Take this – hands another dark cloak to Erland – You should try not to show yourself too much”.
Erland hesitant..took the cloak and put it on. The duo continued their travel. After a few hours they reached the bulwark. A Forsaken guard approached them,
“Halt, where do you think you're going ? The plaguelands are off limits to travelers without a pass.”
Defiler whispered something in a dark tongue, showed a parchment and a bag full of gold. The guard seemed mesmarized and stunned for a moment, looking at Defiler with blank eyes, and then he bowed and stepped aside.
“Let them through ! They're merchants directly in command of The Dark Lady, on a mission !”
And so the duo continued through the gates and stepped in to the western plaguelands. Erland quickly walked to Defiler.
“What did you do to the guard? His reaction wasn't normal” - he asked.
Defiler looked at Erland..
”A little trick I learned over the years. Manipulating the minds of the weak is easy” - he replied.
Defiler continued to walk, but Erland stopped for a moment and looked at dark figure – Defiler.
“He definitely is dangerous...” - he thought and started walking again.
After a day of walking they reached the ruins of Andorhal.
“Now listen up, do not attract unnecessary attention. These ruins are full of minions of the Lich king, mindless undead. The commander of the Scourges forces here is Araj the Summoner. An annoying pest indeed he is. I have no time to fight him, so watch it”. - Spoke Defiler.
Erland nodded.
“But what is our destination for now?”- he then asked.
“You'll find out soon enough” - quickly replied Defiler.
They set foot at the eastern side of the ruins, quickly walking towards the northern exit. A few undead were lingering here and there, but somehow, they didn't seem to care about the two travelers.
“Why are they ignoring us ?” - asked Erland.
“Because I'm using special buffs, that disguises us as the servants of the Lich King. Thus they ignore us.” - silently replied Defiler.
As they were near the northern exit of the ruins, two abominations with a undead captain walked out of the nearby guard towers and stood in their way. Defiler stopped, stretched his arm towards Erland, showing his palm, which was the signal to stop.
“Long time no see, Delorian.” - a chilly voice spoke, from behind the travelers.”
“Curses..” - whispered Defler and turned around.
There stood (or floated..) the Lich, Araj the Summoner.
“I'd prefer to be called just Defiler, but since we're old friends, it doesn't matter I guess. So how about getting the fatso duo and that stupid looking guy out of my way, so I could continue my journey?”
Araj laughed in a cold, annoying manner “You think I'll just let you go? I still haven't forgiven you after our last encounter. You ruined my best robe”
“ Well that was just a little goodbye present. But it seems that this time I'll need to take care of you for good..” sighted Defiler.
Thus Defiler suddenly turned around, pointed at one of the abominations and stroke him down, only to see him rise again, but this time attacking his comrades, not Defiler.
“Erland, take care of the undead, I'll deal with Ajar myself” - he quickly yelled, after throwing a few fire balls at the direction Araj was.
Araj evaded the first two fireballs and deflected the rest with some kind of a forcefield.
“Not bad, it seems you got better, Delorian, but you'll need to do better then that, to defeat me “ - he laughed.
After that Araj started casting something and after a few seconds the ground around him started to shake with undead starting to pour out of it.
“Attack ,my minions!!” - Araj shouted, while pointing at Defiler and Erland.
Defiler, in return also casted a spell, but he didn't summon anything, no, he took over half of Araj'es summoned minions and made them attack him. Araj and Defiler we're exchanging spells one after another, destroying everything around them. While they we're playing, Erland was taking care of the undead Captain. A fearsome looking skeleton, with a two handed broadsword, and a horned helm. He swung it with unthinkable strenght and speed, making it hard to dodge and approach. But Erland had his own ways, he quickly vanished and before you could react was already behind the captain. Erland quickly stunned the undead and started slicing through all of his vital points, but the problem was that he was already dead, so most of the strikes didn't inflict as much damage, as it would to live opponents.

The abominations were killing each other quite admirably, tearing each others innards and limbs, slicing and ripping until one of them falls. But then a huge ball of fire fell near them, disintegrating both of them.
“Not bad, you could reflect even such a spell. You haven't been slacking off yourself” - spoke Defiler.
Araj, with a slight hint of spell fatigue on him, laughed
“You think that was something? Don't make fun of me. Show me your real power Defiler, I know you can do better. Or you'll meet your doom here” - he yelled.
After those words, Araj stretched his arms in different directions, and chains, covered in purple came out of his wrists. He swung them at Defiler, binding one of his arms, but missing the next one as Defiler evaded.
“ Now you're mine. These are the chains that bind a person, before transforming him into a Lich – a servant of the Lich King” - Araj laughed and started to chant.
Defiler fell to his knees, like some force was trying to knock him to the ground, keeping him from getting up. By that time Erland was finishing up with the undead captain, slicing one of his hands off, and then aiming for the head, which resulted in the captain falling to the ground, headless and dead. Again.

After that Erland turned to see how Defiler was doing, only to see him down on his knees, his one hand binded by a strange chain and Araj chanting something. He started to run to where Defiler was, but suddenly stopped after hearing his words.
“Stop, damn it. Run, while Araj is distracted by me, I'll be fine, go through the North gate and hide in the graveyard !”
Erland thought It over and decided, that there was no need to sacrifice himself like that, so he did as he was told.
“I'm sure he's gonna be ok, like some half naked, floating skeleton dude can do him in..” - he thought.

Meanwhile Araj was continuing his chant. And was preparing to bind Defiler's right hand with another chain, and finish the ritual. But suddenly, fire and shadow was forcing it's way out of Defilers, body, the chain shattered, freeing him. Defiler slowly stood up, picking his staff up,with power that was coming from him lifting dust up into the air and pushing the dead bodies around him to all sides.
“You think you can just turn me in to a Lich without me wanting it ? You seriously believe that it's THAT easy to turn me into a servant? You're powers will never be enough for such a job. It's time to show you what real power looks like” - Defiler shouted in a terrifying voice, that sounded like the roar of a demon.
He struck his staff to the ground, only to summon numerous undead minion. Araj, surprised, also started summoning undead, but the difference in numbers was too big.
“How can this be? ME, Araj the SUMMONER, out-summoned by some lowly undead!! DAMN YOU, I'll..”
But he was silenced after receiving a devastating blow from a shadow bolt that was thrown by Defiler. A third of the ruins was in flames from the fight between Araj and Defiler, but the victor was already obvious. Surrounded by his swarming horde of undead, Defiler slowly walked towards Araj, that was lying on the ground, twitching in agony from the blast ( who could have guessed that Liches feel pain). After reaching Araj Defiler stopped to look at him, slowly lifted up his arm, his palm facing Araj, started accumulating fire, bigger and bigger the fire ball got.
“It seems this is the end, you pest” - spoke Defiler with Araj looking at him.
“You'll never kill me !” - he shouted and disappeared, leaving only ash in his place.
Defiler lowered his arm and stopped casting the fire ball. After that he waved his arm, only to make all of his undead crumble, the whole swarm of them, fell to the ground in an instant – the ground, consuming their bodies. He sighted, turned around, picked up his cape, that was lying on the ground, put it on again and left the ruins.
“What a day, releasing my full power sure takes a lot out of this body, I'll have to rest for about 3 days. And I'll need to drink that damn rejuvenating potion. Ain't got much of them” - he thought while walking.

Defiler entered the graveyard, that was just beyond the bridge to Andorhal. Looked around to see a few undead, lying on the ground, sliced in half.
“I guess he didn't understand the words *hide yourself*..” - Defiler thought.
After that he started walking again. Reached the edge of the graveyard, went over the hills and made a fire place, near the Darrowmere lake. After a few hours Erland joined him.
“It seems you were ok after all. Did anything fun happen? Did you kill Araj?” - he asked.
“No, he ran off again. As I mentioned before..he's an annoying pest” - replied Defiler.
Erland looked at Defiler for a moment, and noticed that he was tired. It seems that the fight wasn't as easy as it seemed to be.
“ I wanted to ask you this for a while now..I always thought that you're more like a warlock, or so I heard. But I saw you summon undead minions more then once. So what are you? A warlock or a necromancer?” - Erland asked again.

Defiler looked at him, turned around, took a flask full of strange liquor, and drank half of the bottle with one gulp. After that he started coughing heavily, his body twitching in agony for a few moments. And then it stopped as suddenly as it began.
“Damn, I hate this stuff.” - he said after that - Well, you could say that I'm both. I have learned both arts. All for my simple quest. And I figure you'll ask what I just drank. To answer your question, lets just say that It's a medical drink, for my fatigue” - Defiler replied.
After that Defiler took a box from his bag, full of strange purple shards. He picked one up, hid it in his hand, spoke a few words, that could not be understood, because they were spoken in a strange language. The shard disappeared and in front of Defiler appeared a flying eye immediately floating away. After that Defiler drew a pictogram around himself and lied down.

Unwelcome guests

Defiler rested near that fireplace for three days, with only minor activity. The first day he just lied there, not moving a finger. The second day he got up for a moment, and finished the strange drink, he drank before, followed by coughing and twitching. After that he lied down again. At the end of the day he was already sitting and reading his books. When the third day came, at midday he suddenly lifted his head from his tome.
“A scarlet patrol is approaching from the direction of the ruins. There are three of them, two warriors and a mage. They don't seem strong. Go take care of them” - Defiler said.
Erland looked at Defiler and as he was about to ask why should he, he realized, that he has nothing better to do since he was sitting in one place for more then 2 days. Thus he checked his gear and vanished from sight.

Meanwhile, the scarlet were exploring the graveyard beyond the Ruins of Andorhal. Their party was consisted of a defender – Rick, a berserker – Tom, and a fire mage – Elizabeth.
“So it was true, about the rumors that the eastern side of Andorhal was half-empty from undead. And there were signs of a fearsome battle.” - spoke Rick.
“Yeah, it's a first in a long time, that we were able to travel beyond that undead infested village. I expected to find more undead to kill in this graveyard, but somehow, there were only a few. So how about that dark presence you sensed earlier 'Liz? Still feel it ?” -asked Tom.
“No, somehow it fated two days ago, it disappeared somewhere around here. But I don't see any signs of it. Maybe I was wrong. Anyhow, we should scout a little bit more, I heard there's a suspicious camp down the road. Any undead camp destroyed would be a good accomplishment.” - replied Elizabeth.
They continued to walk, looking for any undead to slay, the mage, still looking for signs of the evil aura, she noticed two days ago, but alas, with no results. Suddenly Rick fell to the ground, unconscious. Tom, surprised looked at him for a while and then ran to him, checking what happened. While he was doing that Liz started looking around, but was too late, because Erland was already behind her - he quickly stabbed her in the kidney, turning his daggers for more damage, before pulling it out. Mortally wounded Liz fell to the ground, only letting a weak scream, before doing so. Tom, after hearing that quickly stood up, leaving his companion and prepared to strike down the unknown foe, squeezed his two-hand axe tighter.

In front of him stood a dark figure , wielding two daggers. The dark figure didn't wait and quickly charged to attack Tom who, certain that he would hit, swung his axe at the enemy with all his might, with the sole idea of cutting him in half, but for his surprise he missed. Erland, seeing as the scarlet fell for his bluff, quickly took a turn to the right, evading the swung axe and jumped at him, only to strike his right hand, making him unable to wield that fearsome weapon. Tom yelled after a sharp pain in his right arm and unconsciously dropped his axe. Unnarmed he looked with fear at the dark figure, waiting for his death..and barely managed to whisper “who ..are ..you?”
The dark figure, without a reply jumped at Tom, with both daggers swung high above his head..and while in the air, Erland whispered “DEATH”.
As Erland was about to finish of the scarlet berserker, he was knocked down by a sudden bolt of fire, that was thrown at him by the mage, who, after that, lost consciousness, as it seems she pulled her last bits of strength to conjure that bolt of fire.

Surprised Erland quickly got up, to continue what he wanted to, only to see that the scarlet guard has already regained his consciousness and the berserker was already able to wield his two-hand axe, barely, but he was still a threat. Erland vanished into the shadows again, got behind the berserker and was about to strike, when the guard knocked him back with his shield. It seems that the guard had high perception and saw through the rogues tricks. But Erland didn't give up, he, again, charged at both the scarlets, evading the berserkers axe and blocking the guardians sword. When the berserker swung his axe at Erland again, he not only missed, but got a hit at his right hand again, causing great pain and making the berserker not only fall back a few pases, but also drop his axe again, thus, giving Erland some time to kill the guardian.

Rick, who got angry after seeing his friend hurt, charged at Erland in rage, with his shield at the front, he wanted to knock down the rogue and then finish him off with his sword, but he failed, as Erland made a quick three steps to the right and made the guard trip. The guard, when charging at full speed and tripping fell to the ground with great force, dropping his sword and bruising his chin and the only thing he was able to say while he fell was “ OOOF”. Erland quickly jumped near the guard and stabbed him in the neck, finishing him off. Then he quickly turned around, and just in time, because he barely managed to dodge a thrown axe, escaping a sad fate. The berserker, using all his might, threw his axe at the rogue with his left arm, betting everything on the success of his little plan. But all failed. All hope was lost.

Erland was in no rush to finish of the berserker, thus he slowly walked towards him, with his daggers facing downwards. Tom could only watch, as his death slowly approached him, not knowing what to do he yelled – 'Damn you, you accursed undead, may you all meet a terrible fate, carried out by the sca..” and he was silenced, as Erland stabbed him in the heart, taking great pleasure in silencing this pathetic human. After that he turned to look at the mage, but she seemed to be dead, lying in a pool of her own blood. So he just checked the bags of the scarlet, taking everything of use and vanished again.

Defiler was still reading when Erland got back.
“You sure took your time. It seems you had some difficulties with them” - spoke Defiler.
“None that I couldn't take care of. But they put up a good fight I guess.” - Erland replied. Defiler grinned and continued to read. Erland, tired after the battle sat down in front of the fireplace and started cleaning his weapons.
“From now on I guess I'll have to use poisons” - he thought.

The dark school of necromancy


When the third day ended, Defiler was already at his full power, again. He got up, recalled his minion, destroyed any evidence of the camp and continued his journey. Erland, of course, went with him, still puzzled with where they're going. After a while, they reached an island, which could be accessed by a bridge.
”What is this place?” - asked Erland.
“ It's the isle of Darrow” - replied Defiler.
“Wait..Caer darrow? The isle in which the so called..school of necromancy existed, controlled by the scourge??” - asked, with surprise Erland.
“Yes” - replied Defiler again.
“What are we doing here? This is a dangerous place!!” - shouted Erland.
“Well you can stay here. I have business inside.”
But obviously, Erland didn't let up and followed Defiler into the keep of the castle remains. They ventured into the basement of the keep, where the dark school resides. After going in, they encountered two skeleton guards, who were instantly killed by Defiler, as he did not have the patience to wait. After going deeper into Scholomance (Or so was the dark school of Necromancy called) and killing a few undead, Defiler reached his destination – a library.
“You came all the way here for books? We went through all that..for books? I thought that you would at least get something more useful, I don't know..some powerful artifact or something.” - Erland expressed his dissatisfaction.
“All in due time, if I didn't have patience, I would have never got as far as I have. So stop fussing and hide for now.” - said Defiler.
While Erland hid, Defiler walked past all the books, looking for something. Stopping from time to time, picking up a book, checking it's content, but mostly putting it back at the shelves. And only 4 times he actually hid a book inside his bag. While he was preoccupied with reading, steps could be heard from the depths of the dungeon. Someone was approaching.

Erland prepared for a fight, grabbing his weapons and watching the doors, he looked at Defiler, but it seemed like he didn't hear anything, because he was continuing with his work, like nothing. Erland looked at Defiler, thinking of how to warn him without revealing himself and noticed Defiler lifting his arm slightly and moving it to the both directions, signaling Erland to do nothing. And so, Erland continued to hide, while Defiler walked from one bookshelf after another, browsing through all the books, stopping from time to time on one or another book, while the steps kept getting closer and closer. Finally the person responsible for those steps appeared in the doorway. It was a strange looking man, holding a staff in his right, dressed in robes, and wearing fancy shoulders. His face, covered by a white scarf, eyes - empty, only dark holes.
” Ahh, If it isn't Defiler. My master informed me of your incoming visit, thus I lowered the guard. I've been expecting you. Let me introduce myself – I am Darkmaster Gandling, the headmaster of this humble school of Necromancy. I hope you will enjoy your brief visit.” - he spoke.
Defiler, after finishing reading the book he was holding, slowly placed it back at the bookshelf and turned around.
“The question *how do you know who I am* would be silly at this situation I guess. That Kel'Thuzad knows too much for his own good. And so..what do you expect of me, mister Headmaster? Will you get in my way or will you serve me some tea, while I browse through your wonderful library?” - asked Defiler.
Gandling grinned after hearing those words.
“How arrogant” - he thought.
“Oh no, my master specifically ordered me not to get in your way and to even assist you as much as possible in your search for power. May I be of any use?” - he asked then.
“Oh no, thank you, I'm good. I know what I'm looking for, but I'm just checking the rest of the books just in case I find something useful. Give me and my companion a day or so and we'll be on our way.” - replied Defiler.
After those words Erland slipped from the shadows, with an angry look on his face.
“Why did you order me to hide, when you told about me being here either way??” - he asked.
“Just in case. A precaution for the worse.” - Defiler replied. -”So, as I was saying, will you permit us, to stay here for a day or so?”
Gandling bowed his head and replied - “Of course, as I said, my master ordered me to assist you in all possible ways. So if you need anything, just ask.” - After those words, the Headmaster left, leaving the visitors to themselves.
“Why did you accept his invitation? Why are you studying these books? It's a trap. They probably want you to join the Scourge, using your lust for power” - Erland spoke, with the need to warn Defiler.
“I know. But they underestimate me. No matter how much corruption I absorb, I will still retain my consciousness. Until I kill Arthas nothing will get in my way, no-one will stop me. After that..i don't care. Maybe Kel'Thuzad sees more potential in me then Arthas, or so does the Lich King, I don't know and I don't care. Now let me concentrate.” - he replied.
Erland, after hearing those words, turned around and found a place to sit down.
“This is gonna take a while. I'm starting to question if this job is really for me” - he thought

Last edited by Defiler; 06-04-2011 at 05:00 AM..
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Old 10-30-2010, 11:04 AM
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a little update.


An unpredicted ambush


And so the duo stayed at Scholomance. At first they had the plan of staying there for a day, but somehow it turned into a week. Defiler found a lot of useful books. Some even used by Kel'Thuzad himself, so he took them with himself, to finish studying them.
” So did you find what you were looking for ? Where to now?” - asked Erland.
“ Yes, I did. Our next destination is the Burning Steppes. After that, you'll find out soon enough. I Found some sources of power, that might prove useful” - replied Defiler.

And so the so called “adventurers” went on another journey, leaving Scholomance far behind, saying farewell to the Headmaster, who seemed much more inviting then anyone would have thought. Which was kinda ironic, considering all the scourge the duo have “put to sleep” after a “friendly welcome”.
“So what path will we choose for our journey?” - asked Erland.
“Well, we need to get to hillsbrad foothills. There we will use an alliance ship to get to Wetlands. And after that we'll have to walk past the Dwarven Kingdom of Khaz Modan, then to Loch Modan, which is connected to Searing gorge, which, in turn, is connected to Burning Steppes.” - described their journey Defiler.
“ Wait wait wait..I understood everything until the part with the alliance..how are we supposed to use the Alliances ship, walk amongst them and not get attacked??” - yelled Erland.
“Don't worry, I have prepared something for that. Everything is under control. Well of course it would be much easier if I was alone. But we'll manage somehow” - replied Defiler.
Erland sighter again. “This guy never ceases to surprise me”..

After passing through Andorhal again, the travelers noticed some suspicious movement in the woods. They were not alone, for that much was certain. The duo looked at each other and started preparing, while they still have time. Erland instantly vanished into the shadows and while he was hiding, coated his daggers with specific poison, that he has prepared in consideration of such unpredictable encounters. Defiler, quickly took out another soulshard from his bag and using it, summoned a creature of shadow, with huge claws. He stood in front of Defiler, like a wall, preventing anyone to pass. The duo was prepared and not a moment to soon, arrows started raining from the shadows of the forest at them, threatening to end their journey In such a gloomy place.

Defiler struck the ground with his staff, emitting a shield around him, preventing the arrows from piercing him. As for his summoned beast – the arrows disappeared one after another into his shadowy body, leaving no sign of damaging the beast. After the barrage of arrows, numerous loud shouts and heavy footsteps, were heard, and they were getting closer and closer. Defiler quickly conjured five small fire balls at his left hand finger tips, preparing to throw them at the first enemy, that would dare to emerge from the shadows of the forest. He didn't have to wait for long, as the first five scarlets, with their swords held high dashed from the shadows, right at Defiler, or so they thought, but as soon as they appeared, three of them fell to the ground, strucked down by the fire balls. The two remaining didn't even notice their comrades being brought down and continued their advance, only to face an obstacle – the huge shadow beast. They stopped for a moment and turned around, to check in reinforcements were coming, and they weren't wrong, just 10 meters behind them wave after wave of scarlets were rushing to help, so they held their swords firmer and were about to start rushing again, only to be killed by the shadow beast's claws.

Defiler, noticing that things might get out of hand sent his minion to engage the incoming Scarlet from the front and letting his staff go for a moment, stretched his hands to both of his sides, palms, facing the the Scarlet, quickly started mumbling something, and a wall of fire emerged at his left and right, preventing the Scarlet to pass and making them back up. After that Defiler quickly picked up his staff again, and holding it with both of his hands, again, started to whisper in demonic tongue, strange words. That was the Q for Erland, he emerged from the shadows behind Defiler, quickly stunning the first encountered Scarlet and stabbing him in his side, accurately avoiding the ribs, and damaging the heart, killing the scarlet in only a few moments. But of course he wasn't the only enemy approaching. Actually, ten times more we're rushing towards the rogue, with confidence, that numbers alone will bring them victory. But the rogue didn't panic. He sprinted towards them, dodging every attack and scratching every last one of them. The Scarlets, ignoring the scratches didn't let up and continued their advance, some of them remaining to fight the rogue, and some continuing their march towards Defiler, who was pre-occupied with spell casting. But after a few moments almost all of the scarlets, damaged by Erlands daggers fell to their knees, feeling a sudden weakness and dizziness. Erland didn't wait, to give explanations and charged from one scarlet to another, giving the finishing blows, meeting very little resistance.

As he was finishing with the poisoned Scarlet, a couple of fire balls flew at him, from the shadows. Erland, somehow managed to dodge them and prepared to face another enemy. The enemy that showed itself in front of Erland was a female Scarlet mage. The rogue opened his mouth with surprise, as he recognized the mage – It was the Scarlet mage that he killed (supposedly) a week ago, beyond the graveyard, while Defiler was recovering. He was sure that the mage was dead, but it seems he was wrong.
“It seems you recognized me you filthy undead. You should have finished me when you had the chance, because you won't have such luck this time” - spoke Elizabeth (such was her name).
Liz quickly conjured a few fire projectiles and launched them at Erland, keeping him occupied, while she quickly started casting a bigger spell. Erland, after dodging the fire projectiles started rushing towards the scarlet mage, trying to finish her off before she finishes casting her spell, but he was too late, as Liz was already finished when Erland was just about to jump for the finishing blow and at that critical moment, the fire ball, that was conjured by the scarlet mage, was launched at Erland, making it really hard to dodge, thus burning Erlands right hand, since he somehow managed to dodge the fireball, escaping only with loosing his arm for the moment (which isn't such a small price, I might add). After that Erland vanished into the shadows, only to appear behind Liz. Just when he was about to strike her, Liz released a wave of fire to all sides, knocking Erland back, and burning him all over. But luckily, while falling he was able to grab a tree branche and steer his way behind a tree. Liz didn't waste time and conjured two more fire balls, juggling them and slowly walking at the side of the tree, keeping a safe distance. It seemed like Erland was in a tight spot this time.

Meanwhile Defiler was still casting that strange spell (which takes too much time). The Scarlet, who were trying to get to him were having a tough time fighting that shadow beast, who managed to kill every Scarlet, that tried to get past him without a fight, thus giving them no choice but to face the beast and slay him. Which was also hard, because it seemed like normal weapons can't seem to do damage to the beast, slicing it's body, but the wounds would just close up. Only the Scarlet paladins and mages were able to damage the beast. Thus the fighters were only serving as a distraction, while the mages and paladins did most of the work. The shadow beast swung his claws at everyone with ferocious speed and might, threatening to rip them limb from limb. And at some cases, it was exactly what he did to the Scarlets.

While the Scarlet were amassing near the shadow beast, a hammer of light flew from the sea of trees and, by hitting his left claw, ripped it off, leaving the shadow beast without one. The wound poured some dark matter out of it, which settled on the ground and was like a dark fog, disappearing little by little. The beast let out a fearsome roar, after that, surprised and angered by the sudden attack. The person responsible for the attack showed himself, by stepping foot into the battlefield – It was a tall human, with golden hair and strong arms. He wielded a longsword and a shield, with the Scarlet emblem on it, the shield was encrusted with gold, and so was his armor. Just by looking at him you could instantly understand that this was a Scarlet with a high rank, maybe even a commander. But he didn't say a word, nor did he hesitate, he instantly dashed towards the Shadow beast, blocking his attack with a shield and swinging his sword at him, inflicting a huge wound on the beast. Things sure seemed grim. And how long is Defiler going to keep casting that spell? Speaking of witch..what IS he casting?

Back to Erland. Erland, after being knocked back by the unpredicted fire wave, hid himself behind a tree. There he quickly took out a bottle of poison and used it on his weapons. Which was kinda hard to do, considering he could use only one arm. Meanwhile, Liz took her time getting closer to the rogue, launching a few fire balls at the tree, behind which he was hiding, setting it on fire. Erland, while jumping out from the cover of the tree, threw a knife at Liz, which lunged itself in her right arm. Liz let out a sound, which was similar to a swear, of dissatisfaction. She quickly took out the knife and threw it to the ground. She then started casting another spell, which she wanted to launch at the quickly approaching rogue. And then she noticed, that the casting time has increased, she wouldn't make it in time. But it was too late, the rogue, using this as a chance, quickly jumped to Liz, bend his knees and quickly got up with all his force, stabbing Liz from below, striking right at the plexus, killing her instantly. After Liz fell to the ground - dead, Erland turned around to look how Defiler was doing. Defiler was still casting something (good god..how long does it take to cast a stupid spell??), but his minion was having a hard time, being pushed back by the Scarlet. Erland started to rush to Defilers side, and just in time, because the Shadow Beast was just sliced in half by the unknown Scarlet knight. All seemed lost, or was it ?


Just as the Shadow beast fell and Erland ran to Defilers side and Defiler finally finished casting his spell. He lifted his arms, speaking the last words of the spell. The sky gone dark, with yellow lightning lighting it from time to time, after that, a few holes opened up in the dark clouds, from which a few flaming rocks fell to the ground, right at the ranks of the Scarlet. The Scarlet, knocked down to all sides, got up, only to see enormous golems of rock and yellow fire emerge from the craters they made, slowly getting up at starting to walk towards the frightened Scarlet.
“Lets get out of here while we still can. I don't want to wait for the scarlet reinforcements to come. Let my little pets deal with them while we retreat” - Defiler suggested.
Erland nodded and both of them quickly ran to hide in the forest. While they were running, they could still hear the screeching and chilly roars of the golems and of course, the screams of the Scarlet, poor guys.
“Who were those monsters?” - asked Erland, while they were running.
“Infernals. I went through hell to get the spell to summon more then just one of those guys. And it's damn hard to control them.” - replied Defiler.
“So the first minion you summoned, that shadow dude..is that what warlocks call..a voidwalker?” - asked again Erland.
“Yeah, but mine is a little stronger then the ones forsaken warlocks summon. Or any warlock for that matter”- answered Defiler. - “now less talking more running, we have to loose those fanatics for good”.


Walking is fun


While running for safety, towards The Bulwark, Defiler threw a flask full of green..something inside of it to Erland.
“Put some on your burns, and cover up with the cape I gave you previously. The healing process wont be pretty, but it does the work” - he said.
Erland opened the flask and poured what seemed to be “green slime” on his burned arm, and on other parts of his body, that were burned. After that he quickly engulfed himself in the black cape, he received from Defiler and continued following him.

The duo, after running for a couple of hours finally reached The Bulwark. Defiler encountered the same guard as before and manipulated him again, also warning about the recent Scarlet activity. After that the duo quickly passed the barricades and continued on their journey. But after walking for a day, they decided to camp out for a little bit, to recover and prepare for any other encounters they might be facing.
“So how's your hand?” - asked Defiler.
“It's good, the burns aren't that visible anymore and I can freely move it” - replied Erland.
“Good, I'll need to get some supplies soon, I'm running out of important herbs. We'll need to visit the inn at Brill. Maybe they'll have something. But we need to stay undetected at all times.
“You're asking a rogue, to stay undetected, come on.” - laughed Erland.


After walking for a few days, the “fed up with all the unnecessary attention” travelers reached Brill. They didn't waste time and went straight to the inn. The duo went straight to the innkeeper, where Defiler asked if he knew anyone in town, who would sell a variety of herbs. The innkeeper replied that there's an old, broken down house at the end of town, where an alchemist lives, who sells those. And so Defiler and his companion turned around and walked out of the inn, but soon enough, as to not to notice, that someone was watching them.
“ Did you see who was watching us ?” - Defiler asked.
“Not sure, I think it was some Deathguard. Probably just thinking we're suspicious or something” - replied Erland.
”We'll we ARE suspicious, thus there might be some problems. Lets go buy the herbs and get out town as soon as possible” - said Defiler.
They quickly went past Brill and approached the old house, which was specified by the innkeeper. Defiler left Erland at the entrance and entered the house. It was really dark inside, only a feint candle light was seen at the far end of the house, on a table, near which stood a hooded figure. “What do you need?” - he asked silently.
“I heard you sell herbs, may I buy some?” - asked Defiler.
“Yeah, whatever. They're in the corner on the right. Take what you need, leave the money at the table near the entrance and get out” - replied the dark figure.
Defiler, with no hesitation, picked out the herbs he needed, took out a handful of gold coins leaving them on the table. He thanked before leaving, and stepped outside, only after hearing the last words of the alchemist:
“Don't get yourself killed with that blind lust for vengeance of yours.” - he said.
But Defiler ignored that, he told Erland that he got what he needed and the duo left the town. While leaving the town, they still had the feeling that they were watched, but later the feeling faded. And it seemed like they didn't have any pursuers.

After finally leaving Trisfal Glades behind, Defiler and Erland decided to camp in the woods, of Silverpine forest. As always, they sat down silently ,after preparing the fireplace, Erland was taking care of his weapons, while Defiler took out a book, to read. A simple, yet old looking book, with a run down leather cover. As Erland noticed, there were some crudely drawn pictures of kids and a women. And saw Defiler reading it a little bit, every time they camped out.
“So what's up with that book? You always take it out for a few hours, whenever you have a chance” - asked Erland.
“None of your business.” - replied Defiler with an unfriendly remark.
Erland looked at him for a moment and then asked:
“Does it have to do something with your past life?”
Defiler ignored his words and continued reading, but then anger mirrored on his face, he closed the book, and hid it in his bag, taking out another one and starting to read it. Erland, without getting a reply, got up and walked away.
“I'm going to scout the area” - he said.
But didn't get a reply again. While Erland was gone, Defiler sunk into the memories of his past. Remembering his family, how happy he was, how he loved them, and then how they were killed, who was responsible, Arthas. He didn't even realize how his anger resonated with the fire, in the fire place and made it dangerously big so that it would have started a forest fire, if not for Erland, who snapped Defiler out of it, by touching his shoulder.
“You ok?” - he asked.
Defiler, not understanding what happened nodded and was about to start to continue to read the book he was holding, only to notice that half of it was burned.
“Damn it..” - he whispered, throwing the rest of it into the fireplace. “there goes good time passing material” - he thought.
So they camped for five more hours and after that, picked up their stuff and continued their journey.
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Old 10-30-2010, 03:14 PM
Defiler Defiler is offline

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Last update for today

An encounter with the Kirin'Tor and a new acquaintance

For the next 3 days of traveling, the duo didn't bump into any unwelcome company. Thus their journey got a little boring. And that got on Defilers nerves. Not because he was getting bored, no. He actually likes to travel. But because of Erland, who was getting even more annoying then he usually is, since he was also bored and was bombarding poor Defiler with questions, making the journey hardly bearable..for Defiler.
“So how much longer will we be traveling? How much till our destination?” - Erland asked.
“A lot.” - replied Defiler.
“So how much is that? A week? Two?” - Erland didn't let up.
“Who cares damn it? A week and a half maybe, I don't know. You'll know when we get there, now be quiet!” - Defiler answered, with a hint of irritation in his voice.
A moment of silence.
“So what are you gonna do when you finally face Arthas? Any ideas of how to deal with him?” - asked again Erland.
Defiler hit his forehead with his palm, expressing how fed up with this he was.
“I'll know when I get to face him. How the hell am I supposed to know how to deal with him now? When my goal is so far away??” - he shouted with anger.
“Well I guess you're right. I thought that you're the type that plans everything from the beginning, even things that can't really be planned accurately.” - Erland continued.
Defiler didn't reply.
“So how about sharing what kind of other spells you know? Because you never cease to amaze me. I don't even know what to call you, a warlock or a necromancer.” -Erland asked shortly.
“I thought we discussed this before. I have aspects of both of those classes. I never concentrated on one of them, but just learned everything that seemed useful to me.” - explained Defiler.
“I see, that's kinda handy. No wonder both Sylvanas and the Lich king want you on their side.”
'Well we don't know that for sure” - replied Defiler.

And so the two travelers continued to walk through the forest, with Erland bombarding Defiler with question after question, probably making him suffer more, then he did after finding out that his family died. Who would wish someone for such a fate?
After walking and talking like that, the duo finally left the forest and reached the main road, which led to Ambermill and Hillsbrad Foothills. But what the duo didn't notice, was the party of humans with purple robes, leading a chained, hooded person. The leading human noticed the two, come out of the forest, who were in the middle of some discussion.

“Let's find some tavern or something. If I knew that this journey is going to be so boring, I would have gotten some drinks with me.” - begged Erland.
“Drinks? Boring? Who told you to tag along with me in the first place. I bet I would have avoided a lot of unnecessary attention and problems if not for you. You either shut up and walk, or go on your own damn it !” - shouted Defiler
“Ok ok, no need to be so angr...” - Erland said, but was interrupted by a voice behind him.
“Hey you two, what are you doing here?!?” - yelled the human.
“Oh come on. You and your babbling annoyed me to the extent that I forgot to keep my attention to our surroundings.” - criticized Defiler.
“Sorry, I didn't mean to do that.” - apologized Erland.
“ Did you hear what I said?? Who are you??” - shouted human again, after getting angry at the two for ignoring him before.

Defiler turned to him, and started walking towards him.
“At least I can release some steam on these idiots” - he thought.
He looked at the party of humans: there we 10 humans, 8 of them were probably mages or priests, and two were warriors. In the middle of their group stood some female, her face covered by a bag, chained and the chains being held by the two warriors.
“This will take a while, they're probably transporting some prisoner to execute, so the guards should be hard to kill.” - Defiler calculated.

He jumped near the leading human, putting his palm on his head, a burst of light poured from it, absorbing the human in flames, leaving only ashes in his place. The rest of the human party quickly realized the situation and prepared for battle.
“Dispose of those two, protect the prisoner at all costs !” - yelled one of the humans.
The guards with the prisoner stepped back, while the mages and priest stepped forward, every one last of them preparing to deal with Defiler.

Erland, in the meantime vanished and silently walked around the line of humans, preparing to flank their lines. Defiler, fired up, started conjuring fire balls on his fingertips, bombarding the humans, striking some of them down, but those were quickly healed by the priests. The human mages, after hearing the command of the commanding mage, started conjuring ice bolts, everyone at the same time. Defiler realized that this could get ugly. He quickly created a wall of fire in front of himself and just in time to stop the barrage of frost bolts, that were flying towards him.

Erland, in the meantime jumped behind the two priests, that were healing the mages. He quickly disposed both of them with a few stabs to the vital body parts.
“God, I love killing humans” - he thought, and smilled (as much as his tattered face let him..).
After noticing that the priests were disposed off, Defiler pushed the wall of fire towards the mages, knocking them down, and setting some of them on fire. The head mage, jumped back, avoiding any damage. But what he didn't notice was that he jumped right next to Erland, who was waiting for the chance. Erland extended his arms to left and right, and swung them, stabbing the mage at both of his sides, making him release a gargaling sound and falling to the ground.

The remaining few mages started retreating to all sides, one of them, got a shadow bolt to his back, dying in an instant. The two warriors, that were guarding the prisoner, were lost in what to do, and unknowingly, they loosened up the chains. Which gave the prisoner the chance to use her hands. Which she did magnificently. She turned her wrists, so that both of her palms would be facing the warriors and suddenly both of them tensed up, convulsing in agony. A dark green matter came from their bodies into the palms of the prisoner. It continued until there was nothing left of the warriors, but dried up bodies. After that the prisoner managed to break the shackles and took of his hood. It was a young blood elf female. And it seemed that she was quite dangerous. One of the fleeing human mages didn't notice that the prisoner escaped her captives, and was grabbed by her. Thus, making him meet the same fate as the previously killed guards.

The duo ignored the prisoner and continued their discussion”
“From now on, you keep quiet, ok? I told you how I hate when my journey is interrupted by annoying weaklings.” - spouted Defiler.
“Ok ok. But we seriously need to buy me some drinks then. It keeps me preoccupied, so that I don't get bored.” - explained Erland.
“Thanks for the help boys, if you hadn't shown up, I doubt I'd be able to escape my execution.” - spoke the prisoner, after getting near the two. - “ Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Lyria Fifeender, or so I'm called. You can call me Lyria” - she said, and bowed.
“ Oh, the pleasure is all mine” - bowed Erland. - “My name is Erland and this grumpy mage, who can't even show his face from under his hood is Delorian the Defiler”
“Don't introduce me when not needed. We're getting out of here. Those were Kirin'Tor that we just killed. A troublesome bunch. They'll notice, that the party didn't reach it's destination and come to check. I will not waste any more time, so lets go” - said Defiler, and started walking.
“Hey, wait up !” - yelled Erland. - “excuse me miss, it seems that our little talk is postponed for another time” - he bowed again, and ran after Defiler.
“Delorian the Defiler, huh? This is getting interesting...” - whispered Lyria to herself, and chuckled. After that she checked the bags of the guards, for her personal belongings.
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Old 10-30-2010, 08:33 PM
DarkAngel DarkAngel is offline

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First things first: paragraphs, paragraphs, paragraphs! I could forgive you for not putting an extra return between paragraphs, but there are no paragraphs at all! This is a HUGE issue for readability.

Another pet peeve of mine is this: Why does every Tom, Dick, and Harry insist on writing a story from the perspective of his toon? First person is a well-established literary technique, but when every other story begins with something to the effect of "look at me! I'm a cool adventurer!" it starts to grate on you.

Right up front, we have another major problem: too much exposition. OK, your character is Undead. I understand that. There is enormous potiential in exploring the brokeness of such a character, but discussion of his former life shouldn't come all at once, worse still at the beginning. You have maybe the first half-page to suck in your reader, and I can tell you the last thing I want to read is a hyper-abbreviated summary of someone's former life.

A better approach is to let things out peicmeal. Let the reader feel like s/he is discovering the world for him/herself. Imagine your reader is a child. Do children like to be told how to play with a certain toy? Of course not! Your reader is no different.

Next question: was it really necesary for Arthas to kill him in person? Unless he's going to become a Death Knight, a major lore cameo is uncalled-for.

There needs to be WAY more detail about the training. As in, like another book about the training. And once again, quit trying so desprately to tie your character into Blizzard's plotlines. The universe should be enough. Especially since we already know how Helcular died.

That's as far as I can stand to critque for now, because, quite frankly, your story is painful to read. Edit your posts with paragraphs if you expect me to give you any more pointers.
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Old 10-31-2010, 01:19 AM
Defiler Defiler is offline

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Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkAngel View Post
First things first: paragraphs, paragraphs, paragraphs! I could forgive you for not putting an extra return between paragraphs, but there are no paragraphs at all! This is a HUGE issue for readability.

Another pet peeve of mine is this: Why does every Tom, Dick, and Harry insist on writing a story from the perspective of his toon? First person is a well-established literary technique, but when every other story begins with something to the effect of "look at me! I'm a cool adventurer!" it starts to grate on you.

Right up front, we have another major problem: too much exposition. OK, your character is Undead. I understand that. There is enormous potiential in exploring the brokeness of such a character, but discussion of his former life shouldn't come all at once, worse still at the beginning. You have maybe the first half-page to suck in your reader, and I can tell you the last thing I want to read is a hyper-abbreviated summary of someone's former life.

A better approach is to let things out peicmeal. Let the reader feel like s/he is discovering the world for him/herself. Imagine your reader is a child. Do children like to be told how to play with a certain toy? Of course not! Your reader is no different.

Next question: was it really necesary for Arthas to kill him in person? Unless he's going to become a Death Knight, a major lore cameo is uncalled-for.

There needs to be WAY more detail about the training. As in, like another book about the training. And once again, quit trying so desprately to tie your character into Blizzard's plotlines. The universe should be enough. Especially since we already know how Helcular died.

That's as far as I can stand to critque for now, because, quite frankly, your story is painful to read. Edit your posts with paragraphs if you expect me to give you any more pointers.

Well, obviously thanks for the comments, cuz it really helps an amateur like me. I'm not aiming to be a great writer or anything, but improvements are always a must. Putting everything into paragraphs is going to be a bit difficult..because when I was writing, I didn't think of them at all, I just spilled the whole story like a waterfall.

Now about those Dicks Ricks and Harrys (lol..). Well I do believe that at least a little bit should be show from other characters perspective. It kinda gives another vibe in reading, when you look at everything for other angles. But that's just my opinion.

Now..the exposition of the character. Yeah. I understand that putting the background story at the beginning isn't very interesting to read. I had the idea that exploring the inner depths of the character bit by bit would be more interesting. But I decided to give a go for the standard "Here's what happened to this guy..what will he do next?" style of writing. It isn't that interesting I guess, plus most readers wont even read the story, because the beginning is just too boring. But I still insisted of doing so for some reason.

As for Arthas. Yeah, I admit, giving him the role at killing the main character was a mistake. But it doesn't mean that Delorian had to be reanimated as a death-knight or what now.

Now about the training and blizzards plot. Well, as you mentioned before, the background story for the character is not the most interesting thing to read at the beginning. And I thought that so was training. I wanted to leave it a mystery as to what kind of training he received, only giving pointers that he not only learned from his trainer, but also tried to improvise himself, integrating self-study in the whole pot. But I guess more detail was a MUST. It's just that, I was aiming to put as less as possible unnecessary stories and more action. That's what I try to do later on.(that's kinda selfish of me, huh?)/ Now the blizzards plot. I tried, not to chain myself with the original warcraft lore (which I always liked, and not the continuation of it in wow), but to remain as close to it as possible, only breaking a few borders. Well again..please, don't expect miracles from me, as I don't have enough writing skills, patience nor do I have enough english skills
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Old 10-31-2010, 01:31 AM
Defiler Defiler is offline

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Ou and the part, that I "show kids how to play with their toys" which is bad. Well I've been thinking and..maybe the background of the main character was revealed. But that definitely doesn't say that everything has been revealed. On the contrary. It should puzzle you, how exactly will this character transform himself. What kind of personality will unfold? You could think, that he will be the usual "do everything at any cost" guy, like in most stories. But in every personality reacts differently, more or less, to everything, and adapts accordingly. Some of them don't. Anyway..there are numerous possibilities and only the most common and un-important info has been given. That what was needed, at least in my perspective.
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Old 10-31-2010, 07:50 AM
Defiler Defiler is offline

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Another mouth to feed, poor Defiler:
After that unpleasant talk, Defiler kept walking at a surprising speed, each step, taken with obvious irritation and dissatisfaction. He was angry.
“What's wrong? The blood elf wasn't that bad, was she? Or did she not suit your tastes?” - asked Erland
Defiler suddenly stopped, gripping his staff tightly, so tight, that it started to shake.
“Are you an idiot? First off all we're undead. Like a blood elf would even look at you, or me for that matter. Second of all, do you even know who the Kirin'Tor are? There are a lot of powerful mages amongst their ranks, and angering them does not serve us in a positive way. Now that we freed that blood elf mage..not only did we bring the wrath of the Kirin'Tor on us, but also, made a new friend, which I wish we didn't. She is bad news, will only get in the way of our journey. Which makes me think that maybe you should join her instead and leave me to my ways” - he said, barely controlling himself from yelling.
After that he turned around and continued walking. Erland, stood, looking at Defilers back, for a moment, not knowing how to react. But then with haste, cached up to him.
“Ok, so I agree that the unsuspected bump in with the humans, was mostly my fault, but come on, you'd be bored to death without me. Plus it didn't go that bad, the fact that the Kirin'Tor will come after us Is not certain. And Lyria will probably be the main objective for them. So there is no need to be so grumpy” - said Erland.
Defiler didn't reply and continued the journey, but anger could no longer be seen in his movements, which calmed down Erland, and the duo continued their journey. After a while they finally stepped in the Hillsbrad Foothills.
“Now be careful, half of the region is controlled by humans. So we'll have to use special cloaking to manipulate their view of us. Put on the cloak you wore in Western Plaguelands. To humans we'll just be simple hooded travelers. Suspicious, but at least not undead.” - explained Defiler
Erland listened and did as he was told. They traveled along the path for 2 days, meeting only a few other travelers, and not picking up any unnecessary attention from them. After that they turned right, and went into the forest, which surrounded the main road from both sides.
“Why are we going into the woods, when it's much less suspicious to travel along the main road?” - asked Erland.
“Because if we would continue our journey along the road, we would have to pass the Town of Hillsbrad, which governs a number of humans. We'll bring too much attention and we might even be found out, I'm not taking that risk.” - Defiler replied.
The duo were consumed by the shadows of the woods, continuing their travel in another manner. After a day of walking, they decided to camp out again, Defiler wanted to read his books, and Erland needed to check his weaponry and polish his daggers. Thus they found a more comfortable spot, lit a fire and did what they needed to. As always, Defiler started his routine, by taking out the old book, with the leather covers. Turned a few pages, stopping at each for a few minutes and then hig the book again in his bag. After that he just picked out a book, that was taken out of the library in Scholomance and studied it's contents thoroughly.
“Ou, that reminds me. Why do you always wear that hood of yours? What, you're so ugly that you need to hide your face all the time?” - asked Erland
Defiler lifter his head, small lights, shining in the shadow of his hood, were staring at Erland. He stared for a while, and then with a quick hand movement, took of his hood. The first thing that would catch your attention when looking at an undead, would be his dead, gray or moldy hair, usually dislodged jar, dried up skin and empty holes in the place of what once was...eye balls. But with Defiler, nothing of the sort. He still had long white hair, which gave an impression of an old man, but not a dead one. His skin, not as dried up as it should be normally, only with a few wrinkles, it covered his face quite thoroughly. And no dislodged jars or any kind of “mishaps”. Only in the place of his eyes, you could see a fire, fueled by his rage, by his lust for vengeance.
“What the hell? You look like you just died a few days back” - shouted out of surprise Erland. - “How the hell did you manage to keep that look of yours?”
“Well..let's just say that my powers keep me from decomposing. And I might have drank a few potions, given to me by my trainer for some reason. When I asked why do I have to drink it, he usually replied with a chuckle and the words 'For the ladies'..which I failed to understand” - Explained Defiler.
“Damn it..just looking at you makes me jealous. Put that hood of yours back on.” - Erland said.
Defiler hid himself in his good again. And started reading his book again.
“So what book are you reading now? Anything useful?” - Erland asked, with a hint of curiosity.
“Some spell book filled with summoning spells and other things.” - Defiler replied.
Erland looked at him for a while, after hearing his reply and then decided to brew a few poison potions, just in case.

The duo continued with their private matters for the rest of the day. It was getting dark and the day was nearly over. Defiler, after finishing examining the spellbook he was reading all day, closed it and was about to put it in his bag, but froze up for a moment, and then continued what he did. Erland didn't notice how his companion froze up, as he was preoccupied with making poison. After hiding the spellbook, Defiler took his staff, got up and walked away, saying “I'm going for a walk, wait here”to Erland, before disappearing in the woods. He walked for half a hour at one direction, without looking around, his eyes caught on one spot all the time. After walking for the specified time, he suddenly stopped. And stood in one place, for a minute.
“So you're gonna show yourself or will I have to make you?” - he spoke silently to the shadows around him.
After that the shadows in front of him twisted and a female figure came out of them. It was Lyria.
Dressed in dark purple robes, full of ornaments, holding a dagger, with it's handle shaped as a spine, ending with a skull, in one hand, and a short chain, with all kinds of ornaments attached to it on the other. Lyria, in a whole, gave an interesting view, shadow pouring down, like gas and gathering around her feet. Frightening and alluring at the same time.
“You surprised me Delorian. I didn't think that even you, could sense my presence from so far away.” - she spoke, with a voice, that sounded like it was dipped in honey, or so to speak.
“Don't underestimate me, priest, what do you think you're doing, following us to this extent. At first I thought, that you're just going the same direction, but once we went into the forest, and I still sensed you behind us, I realized that you're following us. What's your purpose in doing so?” - asked Defiler, with a voice, that had a ruthless ring to it.
“Now now, no need to be so cold” - Lyria spoke, as she started to walk towards Defiler - “ I was just interested in what you were doing in these lands, where were you going. I heard a lot about you, Delorian, You, who defiled everything you touched, eluding the grasp of the Lich King and Sylvanas. You, who killed everyone who got in your way. But it did surprise me, to see you with a companion. You never struck me as the friendly type” - she spoke, walking around Defiler, in slow steps.
“ You didn't answer my question” - stated Defiler.
“Ou, why I'm following you? Well maybe I want to join your little party. What do you say? A shadow priest could be useful in many ways” - Lyria said.
“We'll manage.” - replied Defiler.
“Now now, that was rude. What if I tell you, that, if you won't invite me in your little circle of friends, I will keep following you everywhere, making sure that most of your plans fails, hindering your progress at every step.” - whispered Lyria, while standing behind Defiler, with her eyes narrowed, looking at Defiler, like he was her prey.
After hearing those words, Defiler quickly turned around and grabbed Lyrias neck, got closer to her pretty face and said:
“I could kill you right here, right now if I wished for it. Remember who you're talking to” - he slowly said, silently pronouncing each word.
Lyria smiled, delighted with seeing such a side of Delorian.
“Do you really think I'm that weak? You'd have to release your full power, to get rid of me, and that would set back your journey by three days. And even then, I wouldn't be so sure, that I'd be killed.” - she explained.
After that, Defiler released Lyria, and walked past her, towards the direction of the camp. Lyria, satisfied, followed him, understanding that, this was Defiler's way of saying “Very well..”.
And so Defilers party gained another companion, making things much more difficult and making him abandon the plan of using an Alliance ship. But that didn't seem to bother Erland, who was very happy with the female company. As for Lyria? What could possibly make her want to join these dark travelers, what does she gain, from doing so ? Or maybe she just loves adventures? Who knows.
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Old 10-31-2010, 10:20 AM
Defiler Defiler is offline

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Another update:

In search for booze:
The three picked up their things and set off. Stepping past the dark forest (for it was still a night), traveling in silence, slipping past the shadows, melding with them, becoming one. An interesting sight indeed. After two and a half days of travel, they finally walked past Southshore, and getting closer to Arathi Highlands.
“That reminds me. Remember the little talk we had, about finding means to prevent mishaps like the one in Silverpine forest?” - asked Erland.
“Yes, we can visit Tarren Mill and get you some drinks there.” - replied Defiler.
“Well, you see..Tarren Mill is good and all, but I heard that the humans at Southshore have wonderful drinks with them. How about we get some from them?” - carefully asked Erland.
Lyria chuckled.
“WHAT?” - shouted Defiler - “You want to walk into a human town, all for a few bottles of booze ? ??”
“Well..yes.” - replied Erland.
Defiler couldn't believe his ears. Before him stood a truly strange and stupid being, and yet only now he understood that.
“God damn it..Ok, ok, But you're going in there alone, I'm not helping you, and you better make it quick.” - he agreed.
Erland, happy with Defilers reply, turned around and led the party towards Southshore. Lyria, witnessing this scene, couldn't stop laughing, trying to hold in the laughter as much as possible, but failing miserably, which made Defiler even more irritated. After walking for half a day, and waiting for the night to come, the duo camped out not far from the town of Southshore, without putting up a fire.
“So I'm giving you a couple of hours to go in there and pick your drinks. After that, if you're still not back, I'm leaving you behind. Got that?” - said Defiler
Erland nodded and vanished into the shadows. Lyria turned to Defiler.
“Are we really going to wait for him?” - she asked.
“......I would love to say no, but yes, we will.” - slowly replied Defiler, with obvious doubt in his answer.
And so Lyria and Defiler waited for Erland to return. One hour passed, two. And still no sign of him. After another hour Defiler was already prepared to leave him behind, when he saw an explosion in the middle of the town.
“What the hell is he doing..he woke up the whole town, let's get out of here” - Defiler said.
And the two quickly vanished, deeper into the forest. As for Erland..

When Erland was given the go, he quickly vanished, and ran towards the town of Southshore, leaving Defiler and Lyria behind. He slowed his pace a little bit, when reaching the town, hiding in the shadows of the houses, he slided deep into the town, looking for only one thing – a sign..an inn. For that's where his precious drinks were stored. He crawled from house to house, avoiding patrolling guards. And that's when he heard two guards talking loudly. After taking a look, he saw that the both of them were barely standing, an one was holding the other. It seemed like they just exited an inn, which in turn, should be close by. So he walked in stealth towards the direction, from where the two human guards came. And bingo!, there stood the inn he was looking for, with lights still coming from it's windows and loud voices singing. Erland came around the inn to find a storehouse next to it. The doors seemed to be locked, but that was not a obstacle for this rogue. He quickly picked the lock and entered the storehouse. It was dark as a cave in there and he couldn't see a thing, so he opened the door a little more, then saw a torch, near the entrance. He quickly lit it and started browsing through the cases. And for his satisfaction, he quickly found a few cases full of wine and whiskey, and other drinks. He took out a bag, and started filling it with the drinks, and that's when he found his favorite drink – bourbon, he was so surprised, that he even dropped his torch. He quickly picked up a few jugs of bourbon and put them inside his bag and he decided that it's enough. Then he turned around and was about to pick up his torch, when he heard a strange sound. When he looked at the floor, he saw that there were a few lines of dark dust or powder on the ground and one of them was lit, and the spark was getting close towards the source. “Gunpowder!” - Erland realized and ran out of the storage house as fast as he could, sprinting with all his might, but was still knocked down by the shockwave of the explosion. The store house blew up, setting a blaze the surrounding buildings and waking up the whole town.
“Who the hell puts gunpowder in the same storage room as alcohol..” - Erland thought.
And after getting up, started to walk away from the explosion, trying to find a safe path to get the hell out of that town. But he had no luck, the guards and militia were swarming the city, trying to put out the fire and looking for the culprit. It seemed that Erland was, yet again, in a tight spot. He hid himself in a dark corner and waited for a chance to slip by the humans. But that chance didn't come, no matter how long he waited.
“I wonder if this is the end for me, those guys probably left already. Me and my obsession with drinks..” -he thought. And that's when he heard the guards yelling:
“Quickly, to the gates ! The undead are attacking the north gates !! TO ARMS !” - the guard yelled.
This was Erlands chance, he quickly slipped past the humans, who were in complete chaos, some of them running towards the gates and some of them bringing water to put out the fire. The rogue was saved again, he finally left the town and entered the forest, after that, he sat down near a tree and looked through his bag, to check how were the bottles. But for his disappointment he found that more then a half of them were broken. But his favorite booze remained intact, atleast. Erland sighted and then realized:
“Wait, undead? Attacking Southshore? How is that possible?” - he said out loud.
“It is possible, if I'm the one who summoned them” - said Defiler, after appearing near Erland.
“Whoah, don't scare me like that. So you were the one who saved me ? Thanks” - he replied.
“Well this is the last time I'm doing something like that. Did you get your damn drinks?” - Defiler asked.
“Yeah, more or less” – Erland answered.
“This is sooo, not interesting and here I thought that we'll be getting rid of this worthless rogue” - complained Lyria, after coming out of the shadows.
“Well that's not a very nice thing to say” - replied Erland.
“Well I never considered myself at being nice” - fired back Lyria.
After this short discussion the trio continued their journey, leaving Southshore far behind, in search for more trouble. For trouble they will find, or it would be more accurate to say that trouble always finds them.
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Old 10-31-2010, 01:55 PM
Defiler Defiler is offline

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Last update for today.

The river dilemma and a reached destination:
After leaving memories of the mishap in Southshore, the trio traveled towards Arathi Highlands. Day by day getting closer to it, they encountered a little obstacle – a river.
“I know a place where the river is shallow for us to cross” - informed Erland.
“Well lead the way, because going to the bridge would take too much time” - said Defiler
“It's down stream stream, not far from here, let's go”.
The three walked along the river for a few hours until they reached the specified place. Defiler and Erland were about to go in, when Defiler noticed that Lyria is hesitant. He sighted heavily and asked:
“What seems to be the problem?”
“I don't want to get my robes wet, it takes ages for them to dry”- she said.
“Damn it, the water is like to your knees, how wet can it get? And why the hell didn't you mention it before?” - shouted Defiler.
“The water level is still to high. And you didn't ask !”- she replied, tapping her foot to the ground.
Defiler couldn't take this. It was absurd. He turned to look at Erland, but he didn't know either.
“Ok then what do you propose we should do?” - asked Defiler after that.
“Simple, carry me across the river.” - Lyria replied happily.
Defiler looked at her for a moment. He couldn't believe what he just heard. The idea, of letting this annoying woman get on his shoulders was so idiotic, that he shaked from the idea.
“Erland will carry you, let's go” - he answered after a few moments of thought.
Erland didn't seem to mind, and was kinda happy with the decision. But..
“No way, he stinks of death. I want you to carry me” - didn't let up Lyria.
“WHAT? If you haven't noticed, I'm also dead. Well undead, but that's almost the same.” - replied Defiler, with anger in his voice, hands shaking from irritation.
“But you don't stink of death, for some reason.” - Lyria said.
Erland, lost as want to do in this situation, turned around and crossed the river on his own, and then waited at the other side to watch the show.
And so, Defiler had no choice but to let that annoying woman, he so despised, to climb on his shoulders, and carry her across the river. While they were crossing, they had a little chat.
“You just love to annoy me, don't you? This was all obviously on purpose. Like you care about your robes” - whispered Defiler.
Lyria bended down a little bit, so that her face would be as close as possible to Defilers. She smiled with a sinister look.
“Good that we understand each other. It's so fun to look at your reaction. I always thought that you would kill me instantly, if I tried something like this. But deep down, you're a good guy it seems” - she laughed.
“Don't test my patience wench. You're unharmed because I might have use of you in the future. Which takes priority over my annoyance.” - Defiler explained.
Lyria chuckled.
“Well then it seems I'll be having a lot of fun”

After Defiler carried Lyria over the river, the trio continued forward, walking for another three days and reaching the main road. After that they decided to go along it, because they figured that it would be safe enough. At least that's what they thought. While they were traveling, they saw some obstacle on the, further down the road. When they reached it, it seemed that it's a broken down cart. And there were two humans working on it, trying to fix it. After seeing that, Defiler sighted heavily and thought “I'm just not lucky this week”. As they approached the cart, one of the humans came to them, not noticing that the two hooded personas (note: Defiler and Erland) were undead. He explained, that he and his brother were driving their mother to Arathi highlands, to start living in Stromgarde Keep, but they encountered a rock on the way, and one wheel broke. Thus he needs the travelers to help. Defiler thought to himself “At least he didn't notice that we're horde”. And then he noticed the Blood elf.
“Wait..you're horde, right?” the human spoke, with surprise in his voice.
Defiler let his head drip down to his chest out of despair. “I give up” - he thought.
“I hope you two noticed that there is an ambush in the woods around us waiting to strike” - whispered Defiler.
“Of course” - replied Erland.
“ Seriously? Finally, some action ! I was getting bored with just traveling” - shouted Lyria with excitement.
The human, noticing that the party knows about the ambush, draw out his hidden dagger and was about to call out his boys, but didn't make it, as Erlands knife struck him in the head, killing him instantly. After that the men that were hiding in the woods, charged out, shouting and swinging their weapons. Defiler stood as he did before, without moving a muscle. As for the two : Erland, jumped to the right, and Lyria jumped to the left.

Erland sprinted towards the approaching enemies (who were only six) and threw a dagger at one of them, stabbing them in the chest, the victim fell to the ground and seemed to be dead or dying. The remaining five, surrounded Erland and tried to attack him at the same time, but for their surprise, he vanished, without them being able to strike him, and the next second one of them fell to the ground, unconscious. After that, Erland appeared next to another one, and quickly stabbed him at his side. As his victim fell to the ground the remaining three started shouting and started swinging their swords at the rogue, who seemed to be able to evade all of their attacks. After avoiding one of the bandits attacks, Erland jumped in the air and stabbed one of them in the neck. After that he quickly parried an incoming attack from another bandit, cut his arm, making him fall back and jumped to the one remaining unscratched by his daggers. This one was also a dagger wielding person, but it didn't seem to help him avoid the attack to his left leg, making him fall to his knee and then receiving a stab to the head. The remaining one bandit with the hurt arm, tried to run for it..but was unlucky, and got a dagger to the back. Then Erland walked to the unconscious bandit and finished him off. “Well that was fun” - he thought.

As for Lyria. She engulfed herself in shadow, and started blasting the bandits with shadow. One after the other the bandits fell, only a few were able to approach Lyria. But even those were not so lucky. Lyria feared one of them, and then started to drain the life out of the remaining two, taking her time and giving a slow and painful death to them. After draining the life out of the two bandits, Lyria took a deep breath, expressing her refreshment, and then started channeling a dark stream of energy at the feared bandit, finishing him off in a few moments.

Defiler, in the meantime, approached the broken down cart and the human that was hiding behind it.
“So you ambush every travelers that come through here?” - he asked.
“Yes, we owe money to the Syndicate, so we were desperate” - he replied, trembling in fear.
“ The Syndicate?”
“It's an organization of criminals, that controls areas in Arathi highlands and Alterac mountains.” - the human explained.
After hearing that Defiler set the human on fire, watching him roll on the ground in agony, screaming and beating himself, trying to put out the fire. As he watched the human burn, Erland and Lyria were finished with their fight and approached him.
“Now that was refreshing. I feel a lot better now. And it seems you're having some fun of your own here.” - Lyria commented.
“Don't you think that's a little harsh?” - Erland complained.
“Nevermind that, lets go.”- replied Defiler.
And so, the three, walked past the broken down cart and continued to walk down the road. After a day, they reached a great wall, which was probably greater in it;s earlier days, because now it is collapsed, with wide holes in it.
“So this is Thoradin's Wall, even now it's a wonderful spectacle” - said Erland.
“I guess, lets go, we finally reached Arathi Highlands.” - said Defiler.
And so, the trio stepped into Arathi Highlands, through the broken gates of Thoradin's Wall they walked, looking at it's wonders, while passing by.
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Old 10-31-2010, 06:45 PM
DarkAngel DarkAngel is offline

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Ok, my wrath is satisfied...for now. Thanks for putting in the paragraphs! I assume the headings are supposed to denote chapters in some form. Personally, I create separate posts for new chapters, but then I prefer to put things up slowly. I guess I assume my readers read like I do: waiting a day or so to digest. It's a matter a preference, of course. If you want to post a novel in one day, go ahead!

First problem I see: how does Delorian know in such detail what's happening in the town without going into it? This is an especially pertenant question for the occurances inside the tavern.

Another of your "big problems" is bothering me here: it is traditional to begin a new line each time dialogue has a new speaker. This helps to make it clear who's saying what.

Wait, scratch the first problem. You have an even bigger one. Switching perpectives is generally frowned upon. Doing it in the middle of a section is a HUGE no-no. When you choose a perspective, you have to stick with it. A third-person limited can switch what character it's limited to (but not in the middle of a section), but first person must always stay with the same narrator. I can see why you wanted to use the switch for dramatic effect, but you have to accept the limitations you imposed on yourself at the beginning. And while I'm thinking about it, some amount of time has passed since Delorian's training by Helcular, I presume. You might want to make a note of that.

As a more general note, take the time to read your work out loud before you consider it final. It really helps with smoothness. A well-written story (or essay) should sound like you're speaking normally.

Finally, as a lore note, shouldn't you have said something about the Scarlets using their Light powers? It's kind of their thing, not to mention devastatingly effective against Undead.
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Old 11-01-2010, 12:59 AM
Defiler Defiler is offline

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Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkAngel View Post
Ok, my wrath is satisfied...for now. Thanks for putting in the paragraphs! I assume the headings are supposed to denote chapters in some form. Personally, I create separate posts for new chapters, but then I prefer to put things up slowly. I guess I assume my readers read like I do: waiting a day or so to digest. It's a matter a preference, of course. If you want to post a novel in one day, go ahead!

First problem I see: how does Delorian know in such detail what's happening in the town without going into it? This is an especially pertenant question for the occurances inside the tavern.

Another of your "big problems" is bothering me here: it is traditional to begin a new line each time dialogue has a new speaker. This helps to make it clear who's saying what.

Wait, scratch the first problem. You have an even bigger one. Switching perpectives is generally frowned upon. Doing it in the middle of a section is a HUGE no-no. When you choose a perspective, you have to stick with it. A third-person limited can switch what character it's limited to (but not in the middle of a section), but first person must always stay with the same narrator. I can see why you wanted to use the switch for dramatic effect, but you have to accept the limitations you imposed on yourself at the beginning. And while I'm thinking about it, some amount of time has passed since Delorian's training by Helcular, I presume. You might want to make a note of that.

As a more general note, take the time to read your work out loud before you consider it final. It really helps with smoothness. A well-written story (or essay) should sound like you're speaking normally.

Finally, as a lore note, shouldn't you have said something about the Scarlets using their Light powers? It's kind of their thing, not to mention devastatingly effective against Undead.

Thank you for more of your comments, and taking time to read what I wrote. More or less

Considering Defiler knowledge of what's going on in the village, I wanted to keep that a mystery. Letting the reader guess if he knew what will happen before hand and still continued with what he was doing, or had any other ways of knowing. Maybe he just has REALLY good hearing ?

About the new lines for dialogues..working on it.

And now the ..perspectives. Yeah, that is completely my bad, as I concentrated on the new character, that joined Delorian(Or Defiler, he doesn't like his name from the past mentioned..) and completely forgot about wanting to keep everything from Delorians perspective. But then I thought that maybe it would be more interesting, to keep the view from a-far, after Delorian is no longer alone, and return to his perspective once he's alone again. Or something unusual like that. By mentioning the training at Helcular, you probably mean, that I still have to write a wider "book" on that matter, on which I still have my doubts Because I feel that it's too late for that.

And now the Scarles. As far as I know, not all Scarlets use light, as their weapon. The "front" of their army is made out of simple foot soldiers and such, well mostly. Because there are a lot of former members of the Knights of the Silver hand.

Ou and about the speed that I'm writing the whole story..Well I'm an impulsive person. I find something interesting to do, get fired up, and continue to do that thing, until the fire fades. And it always fades, whether I take it slow or not. SO..yeah, as you can see, slow is not my thing.
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Old 11-01-2010, 10:54 AM
Defiler Defiler is offline

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Somehow I only managed to write one really short part and a longer one today. Sorry about that guys. (If anyone is reading...). Here we go !


Splitting up:
The not-so-lucky trio, journeyed deeper into the Arathi Highlands, walking down the road, wishing to not encounter any new enemies, who would keep them occupied and would stop their progress towards Defilers goal. While walking, Erland was in the process of hitting on Lyria. Which wasn't the smartest thing to do, considering that he's undead, and Lyria is a young blood elf female.
“So why were the Kirin'Tor after you?” - Erland asked.
Lyria looked at Erland with a “you're joking, right?” look.
“Well they are mages that use arcane and light energies, and they do not tolerate other mages, that use dark arts, like me, a shadow priest. So I presume that I was a popular target to them.” - she replied.
“Well how did they capture you? I mean, you seem like you can handle yourself perfectly” - Erland asked again, without backing down, even when he knew that Lyria didn't want to be questioned on this matter.
Defiler, on the other hand, walked in front of the two, ignoring their conversation and lost in his own thoughts, of future plans, and trying to remember anything important about the region they're in.
“Well, I was camping out in the forests, of Silverpine and kinda lost myself in taking care of my hair and nails. And I didn't even notice those damn humans surrounding me. Actually, I only noticed them when they started yelling at me, ordering me to surrender” - replied Lyria to Erlands previous question.
Erland looked at Lyria with surprise, as to how carefree she was(and still is..). After that Lyria let out a sound, signaling the rest of the party, that she remembered something.
“Ou that's right. We've been traveling for so long, and I'm all sweaty and covered in dust. Thus I need to wash myself. Lets make a detour and go to Hammerfall.” - she said.
Erland didn't have any objections, but he quickly looked at Defiler, knowing how he hates it, when they take detours. But for his surprise, he didn't say anything and was still walking in front of the two, like nothing happened. Which could only mean that he agreed. Erland turned to Lyria and nodded, to help her understand Defilers reaction. Lyria, happily clapped with her hands and looked at Defiler with a happy look on her face. While boringly traveling, Lyria came closer to Erland.
“So what's up with that gloomy look about Defiler? We've been traveling together for a while and I've never seen him take off his hood, or changing the atmosphere about him. Always so grumpy, with that dark aura surrounding him.” - She whispered to Erland.
Erland remembered what's behind that hood of his and replied:
“It's just that he's so ugly, that he doesn't want to scare other people around him. And I guess there's nothing to be happy about, huh? Plus I thought you heard about him from somewhere before. Didn't you hear what happened to him in his previous life?”
“Well that's that, but I didn't think he would be so attached to the previous life so much. I thought you undead forget all the feelings that you had while alive.”- Lyria spoke with curiosity.
“Well most of us do. But some of us cling to our former selves, trying to preserve our “humanity” or something like that. It's a sad story. But it is as it is” - Erland explained.
“Now I'm curious, as to how ugly he is. I think I'll try taking that hood of his off, wanna help me?” - Lyria chuckled, while whispering to Erland.
But the both of them were interrupted by a fire bolt, that flew right below their noses. The two looked at Defiler, but he again, walked like nothing happened. Lyria chuckled again and returned to her former position, which was as far as possible from Erland. After a while, the trio could already see Stromgarde keep, on the horizon. Standing lonely, but not quite abandoned.
“I'm informing you before hand, that we'll be parting our ways when we reach Stromgarde keep. I'll be going in, for some personal business. And you two will continue your journey towards Hammerfall. We'll meet up at the fork in the road, after 5 days. I mean the fork in the road, where one road leads to Hamerfall, and the other one leads to Thandol Span, got it ? “ - Defiler explained.
“Yeah..wait, What??” - Erland asked out of surprise - “What do you mean we're parting ways? You think you can get rid of us that easily? And now I know the reason why you agreed to Lyrias selfish request” - he complained.
“Hey ! It wasn't selfish !..mostly” - Lyria interrupted.
“No way are we gonna part ways, there is no guarantee that you'll be waiting at the designated meeting spot.” - Erland finished.
“Yes we will part ways, and yes we will meet at that spot. You have no reason to doubt my word. I still have multiple uses for you two, thus I have no intention of letting you go just yet” - Defiler replied.
Erland had no choice, but to agree with Defilers decision, and the group of three continued towards Stromgarde keep in silence for the rest of the way. After reaching it's entrance, they said their goodbyes and Defiler repeated where they would meet and after how long.
“Don't forget, that if I don't appear after no longer then six days, don't wait up” - Defiler reminded them.
“Well you better show up then “ - Erland replied.
“Yes, without you around, there would be noone to annoy. And that just wouldn't do” - Lyria smirked. And so, the three split up, Defiler continuing into Stromgarde, and Erland and Lyria, walked away, towards Hammerfall.


And adventure in Stromgarde keep:
“Finally! Alone at last!” - I thought while entering the ruined keep of Stromgarde - “It seems I'll be on vacation for 5-6 days from those guys. Especially that infuriating blood elf. It's a good thing that I remembered about the ogre artifact, that the Boulderfist ogres have in their hands. I might need it in the near future.” - I continued my train of thoughts.
After entering Stromgarde keep, I quickly hid myself in one of it's dark corners, with the idea of waiting for some human to pass by. I'll have to use that little trick again.
I didn't have to wait for long, because after a couple of hours, one of them came from withing the keep, probably a scout. He had dark leather clothes and a orange bandana, looks like Syndicate. I quickly binded him in his place, and started whispering him orders in demonic tongue, manipulating him and binding his will to my own. After a few minutes he was completely under my control, I got lucky, it seems this human was simple minded. Enough to speed up the process of manipulation.
“Now look here, take this flask” - I said to him, while handing him the flask - “ And once you return to your buddies, empty it, without anyone noticing, in your water supply. Got it ? After that act like everyone else, and drink the water yourself.” - I continued to explain.
The human nodded, hid the flask in his shirt and went back, from where he came.
“This better work..” - I thought.
And so, I hid myself in the dark corner of the keep for the rest of the day, patiently waiting. It was getting dark and, as much patience as I had, even so..it was running out. I started doubting my plan and thought of dropping it and switch to plan B - just kill everyone myself and getting the artifact. But that's when I heard screams coming from deep within the keep.
“That's the sign” - I thought. And quickly leaving my hiding place, I started to walk towards the inner keep, where the rumored Syndicate was supposed to be hidden. After reaching it, I saw that my plan worked perfectly. A few syndicates were running out of the keep, and the whole courtyard was in chaos. Undead were swarming around, killing the remaining humans, ripping them limb from limb.
“I've got to thank you, Kel'Thuzad, for giving me this card to add to my deck.” - I thanked, in my mind.
After that I concentrated, because I had to control all of them and lead them to where I want them to be, it took a while, but finally almost all of the undead were under my command. I turned around and exited the inner keep, where the Syndicate were situated, before this little mishap. After that I took a quick turn left, and then another one, going down a tight road, leading into the ogre controlled part of the keep, with the undead swarm behind me. Controlling them was hard, but I knew that I don't have to keep this up for very long. After reaching the end of the road, a view of a square, surrounded by burned down houses and a tall tower at the end of it, opened up. At the beginning of it, a lone ogre stood, with a huge sword in his hand. It was dark so he probably didn't notice me, but he smelled me, he started sniffing the air around him, trying to find the source of the strange smell he noticed.

I looked behind me and stared for a moment, at the standing undead, silent and still, they waited for my command.
“Now I know how Kel'Thuzad felt, or probably Arthas for that matter” - I whispered to myself.
The ogre, after hearing some voice, started to walk to my direction. I turned to him, and quickly casted a few shadow bolts at him, only angrying the ogre. The ogre roared ferociously after that, alarming the other ogres, who were sleeping or hiding in the burned down ruins. Then I quickly finished off the ogre, by setting him on fire, and throwing another shadow bolt at him. After that I commanded my swarm of undead to attack, the remaining ogres, and slaughter anything they meet. The undead immediately listened to my command and charged towards the ruins, scattering to all sides and corners.
“What a wonderful sight” - I thought again. - “And the best part..is that even if they're killed, I can still reanimate their corps, and getting myself some skeleton minions.”

After that I released the control over them, letting them do as they wish. While the whole square was in complete chaos, as ogres were fighting the swarming undead, I walked towards the tower, that stood alone at the end of the square. A few undead noticed me, and tried to attack me, but were unlucky and were instantly killed by the flick of my hand. I quickly entered the lone tower, and started climbing it's stairs. There were no guards, which was good. All of them were probably fighting the undead. I climbed for a few minutes, and after I reached the top of the tower, which was completely dark, I started looking around, looking for the rumored artifact, even though I couldn't see clearly. But luckily I noticed a dark purple ball, with it's content swirling round and round.
“That must be the artifact” - I thought.
But there was a little problem. It was floating in the air. Not by itself of course. The ball itself was attached to a chain, which, in turn, hanged on the neck, of a big ogre, that was standing in front of me.
“No wonder I didn't see you the second I entered this floor. You're so big, that I thought you were just the darkness.” - I spoke out loudly.
The ogre didn't respond. Instead, he lifted one of his arms and threw a bolt of shadow at me. I evaded of course, but the bolt made a huge hole in the wall behind me, lighting the room in moonlight and letting me see what opponent I encountered. And it didn't seem promising. Before me stood a one headed (surprisingly) ogre, in one hand he wielded a giant wooden staff, with human skulls attached to it. What frightened me the most (mainly the only thing that frightened me) was the fact, that he was almost naked, only wearing a cloth, that hid his private parts (thank god). A really dangerous view it was indeed.
“A strange fellow, surprising that he didn't yell something like “Me smash!” , before throwing that shadow bolt.”- I thought.
Of course the ogre wasn't about to let me stand in one place and think. Moments passed after the previous attack, and the ogre started the next one. He conjured another shadow bolt, and threw it at me. But this time I didn't evade. A deflected the bolt, right back at the surprised ogre. The shadow bolt hit his chest, but made only a visible bruise, only making the ogre more angry. After reflecting the bolt, I threw a few of my own, following by a fire ball, which took a few seconds to cast, the first shadowbolt was deflected by the big ogres hand, but the next one hit his right hand, that was holding the staff. The ogre roared and dropped it. After that he tried to catch the falling staff with his left, but he failed to notice the fireball, that was flying towards him, which hit the ogre on his left side, knocking him down.
After that I forced down the ogre to the ground with magic, slowly approaching him. I quickly took the purple orb from his neck and hid it in my bag. Before leaving I immolated the ogre, setting on fire not only him, but also the top floor of the tower.

After that I quickly climbed down the stairs and entered the square. And I didn't like what I saw. The ogres were all killed, but the remaining undead were attacked by the other inhabitants of Stromgarde keep – the league of Arathor. The damn remnants of the great kingdom of Arathor. I was naïve to think that they wouldn't notice the sudden commotion in the rest of the keep. A knight, who seemed to be the captain of the small force of humans, slowly stepped forward from the fight behind him, which was obviously in the favor of the humans.
“You must be the person responsible for all this.” - he said.
I looked at him, sighted and replied:
“Yes, you're correct on that one”
“Then you have my thanks. Because of your help, the League of Arathor has finally retaken the ruins of Stromgarde.” - the knight said, and bowed.
“So I guess out of gratitude you'll let me leave the ruins, right?” - I asked, with a smile on my face (Which could not be seen because of the hood, by the way..)
“Well, you see, we can't do that. As the undead show, you're a necromancer. And being a necromancer, you are probably an agent of the Scourge. Which means that we have to kill you on sight. But I bented the rule a little bit, so that I could thank you personally, but the rest..I think you know what follows after that.” - the knight politely explained.
“Yes, I'm afraid I do. You're going to die.” - I whispered, and the other second I was already casting a summoning spell, reanimating all the undead in the square, raising an army of skeleton swordsmen and mages, who instantly attacked the humans. A battle unfolded, as swords clashed, shouts of anger, cries of agony and the sound of magic shots, flying through the air were heard.(and seen) I quickly jumped towards the human knight, who was stunned for a moment, out of surprise, that so many skeletons were raised in an instant. He noticed me, as I flew towards him, drawn his sword, but he was too late, as the second I landed, I touched his chest with my palm, and casted a fire spell, throwing the knight a few meters backwards, knocking him down to the ground. The next second I turned left, and, by avoiding the battle that was raging on, ran through the ruins, towards the exit of this square. Behind me I heard human shouts, full of happiness, because of the approaching victory, as most of my skeletal minions were defeated.
“Well, even though they were a diversion for my escape, I'm still disappointed, because they could have kept them company a little bit longer.” - I mumbledto myself while running.
After a few seconds I reached the exit and started to ran upwards, through the tight path, after reaching the corner, I turned right, and then left, running towards the exit, out of the keep. I could already hear the shouts of the humans, gaining on me. While running, I took out a soulshard out of my bag, and quickly summoned a voidwalker, ordering him to guard the exit for a a few hours, so that I could safely escape.

After I left Stromgarde keep, I continued to run further, towards the designated location, where I was supposed to meet my two partners in crime. But after running for an hour (It's so good to be undead and not get tired!) I felt that the time for my voidwalker ran out, and dived to the side of the road, reaching some hills and hiding behind them.
“I'll have to hide here for a day, till everything calms down” - I thought. - “I'll still have three days to get to the meeting spot. Plenty of time.”
After that I took out the ogre artifact out of my bag and examined it. The surface of the ball didn't have even a scratch. Perfectly round. The inside was filled with purple smoke, which swirled around, shifting into all kinds of shapes. An interesting sight indeed.
“Now how the hell do I use it, if I heard correctly, then this not so little ball should enhance my abilities, making me stronger.” - I thought to myself.
I tried holding on to it and conjuring a shadow bolt, but I didn't feel stronger at all. After that I tried exploring the insides of the glass ball. I put both of my hands on it and closed my eyes, concentrating on the ball. After a few moments numerous images entered my mind. I was diving through wide forests, burning in multiple places, full of undead, who were all moving in one direction. I saw burning villages, screams of women and children. Sounds of battles, taunting shouts, annoying roars of the dead. And that's when I let go.
“That was strange, just what the hell is this thing?” - I thought.
After that I hid the ball in my bag and waited for day to come. When the day came about, I summoned an Eye scout, and ordered it to look around. Concentrating, I saw the same thing my minion saw. After looking around for a while I noticed humans patrolling the road. Which meant that things haven't exactly calmed down yet. So I had to wait till the night came, so that I could sneak past the patrols and continue towards the meeting spot. Time went past slowly so I took out one of the books, I picked up at Scholomance. The one in question mentioned numerous places of power around Azeroth. I've been studying this book for a while now, and remembered most of the places of power, picking out the ones that would be most useful to me in the near future. After rechecking it's contents, I put it away and took out my old journal, of my past life. It was the old book, with the leather covers. Full of my memories and pictures of my family, it reminded me, for what I walk forward. Why I continue to exist. I browsed through it's contents, stopping to watch my crude drawings of my wife and children. I was not a very good drawer, but good enough to capture how beautiful they were. If I could cry, I guess this would be the best moment for that. But I didn't feel that sad, I felt empty. Well empty from all other emotions, except anger. Frozen for half an hour, I sat there, with my mind blank, and the book – open, resting in my hands. After that I quickly snapped out of it, closed the book, and took out an old spellbook, that I “borrowed” from Helcular - my trainer. It was overflowing with his spells, plus a few of my own. And I spent the rest of the day studying from it. Passing the time. Waiting for darkness to come, and consume all, in it's cold embrace. So I could continue my journey...but it seemed like it was still a while before nightfall.
When Nightfall came about, I quickly packed my things and walked on. After confirming that the road was clear, I walked towards the meeting point, with no visible haste in my movements. A long, three-day journey awaited me.
“I wonder how those two idiots are doing” - I thought to myself, while enjoying the silence. -” I hope they font figure out my little trap"
I smiled with satisfaction after that thought.
But things rarely turn out, as we wish for them to...
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  #13  
Old 11-01-2010, 01:26 PM
Defiler Defiler is offline

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It seems that I magically managed to write another short part. Good for me.

Realization, make haste !:

While Defiler was busy with his personal matters in Stromgarde keep, the duo (Lyria and Erland) continued their journey towards Hammerfall in silence. Both somehow weren't in the mood for small talk. Erland was worried, that Defiler wont come to the meeting point, as for Lyria, she was somehow angry, with Defiler going on his own, leaving her with Erland, who was no fun to tease.
So they journeyed, with no dialogue going on between the them. Actually, Erland was walking at the front, and Lyria was keeping a 8 meter distance from him, as always, like Defiler was still here.
After walking for half a day, the silence was finally broken by Erland.
“Soo...got any other plans in Hammerfall, besides washing up?” - he asked.
Lyria glared at Erland.
“Not really” - she replied.
After a few moments of silence, Lyria pointed her finger at the horizon. Erland followed it to find that she was pointing at a raptor, who was minding his own business, walking in circles (why would he be doing that?..).
“What about him?” - Erland asked.
“I want to kill it” - Lyria replied.
“Why would you want to do that?” - Erland didn't understand.
“I just feel like it, now lets go” - Lyria didn't let up.
The duo started to run, with Lyria at the front this time. Erland, for the first time running AFTER Lyria, not in front of her, had his sight locked on, not the destination, but on Lyrias butt(figures). Lucky for him, Lyria didn't notice that, because she was preoccupied with running towards the raptor. The raptor, on the other hand, noticed the unwelcome guests, and started to run away(good senses). And so, the duo ran after it, chasing the poor raptor for the rest of the day. When night came about, the duo have already lost the sight of their pray. Lyria was catching her breath, when Erland finally caught up to her.
“You run pretty fast for a blood elf female.” - he complimented.
“Shut up, the only reason you didn't run past me, because the whole time you were looking and my butt” - she complained, while looking at Erland with an angry look.
“Damn, she noticed” - Erland thought.
“So..where the hell are we now?” - Lyria asked.
“I have no idea. As you mentioned before, the whole time I was looking at your butt, thus I didn't look at the surroundings, to know which way we ran.” - Erland explained. - “But we could go towards where the raptor went, if we're lucky we'll find him and more, then we can ride them back”
Lyria nodded and both of them continued walking towards where the raptor disappeared. After walking the whole night, again, in silence. Erland realized something.
“You know, one thing has been bugging me for a while. Remember when Defiler said, that we should meet at the meeting point..after five, mostly six days?” - he said.
“Yeah” - replied Lyria.
“Now that I think about it, walking from the meeting point, to Hammerfall, takes three days already. But from Stromgarde it takes four. So how were we supposed to get back in time?” - he asked.
Lyria suddenly stopped. She stomped with her foot, expressing anger.
“DAMN IT ! He fooled us. He wanted to get rid of us this way !” - she shouted with anger.
“Yeah, he probably was. But we won't let him get away with that. We only waisted like..one day. So we have plenty of time. I heard that there's a lake somewhere around here. I also heard that it's dangerous swimming there, but oh well, we don't have time to be picky, do we now?” - Erland tried to calm Lyria down.
After that Lyria calmed down a little bit, and they hastened their pace, and when the next day came, they saw something glimmering in the horizon.
“It's water. The sun must be reflecting from it's surface” - Erland explained.
The two of them started to run towards their new found destination. After an hour, they reached it. It indeed was a lake, the water was clean and you could even see the bottom of the lake. Lyria jumped in the air with happiness.
“Now listen, I'm going to take a dip. If you take even one look, I'm gonna drain what's left of your life. Got it?” - Lyria warned.
“Ok ok, got it” - replied Erland
So Erland remained on the shore, with his back turned to the water, and Lyria took off her clothes and dived in. But covered herself in shadows, just in case. And a good decision that was, because obviously, Erland couldn't resist a peek, he took out a small hand mirror, and using the reflection tried to catch Lyria in it. And when he found her, his face turned from smile to frown.
“Damn shadow priests” - he thought. After a hour, Lyria came out of the water, dried herself in the hot sun, and dressed up. And while dressing up, she noticed a few trolls standing on the other side of the lake.
“How long have those bastards been standing there?” - she thought.
She quickly finished up dressing up and ran to them while yelling:
“You bastards better be blind !”
Erland heard her shouting and turned around, only to see Lyria running towards the other side of the lake, to the trolls that were standing there.
“Oh come on..” - he sighted, with deep regret that he didn't watch Lyria the whole time.
After that he got up and ran after Lyria.
“Wait !” - he shouted. - “You're heading into an ambush !!”
But Lyria didn't listen, she quickly ran to the trolls, who scattered into the forest once she was close.
Lyria followed them into the forest, only to find herself surrounded by numerous forest trolls, who steadily shortened the gap between them and the blood elf.

Erland ran in to the forest short after, but he was already too late. Lyria had already killed half of the trolls and finishing off the remaining few, that ran in fear of her fury.
“I'll teach you to watch a young maiden take a swim in the lake naked !!” - she shouted, casting spell after spell. The spells casted had no visible effects, but after casting them, a few trolls fell to the ground, shaking and coughing, spending their last few moments alive as miserably as possible.
Lyria chased down the remaining two trolls, sucking the life out of them, taking great pleasure in doing so. After that she turned around and started walking back, when she noticed Erland standing, with his mouth open widely(Really widely, considering that his jar was dislodged).
“What?” - Lyria asked.
Erland quickly closed his mouth, with some help from his hands.
“Oh nothing, it's just that I rushed here to save your lovely butt, only to find out that the trolls were the ones in need of saving” - he replied.
Lyria laughed and then the both of them walked out of the forest. And, what surprise, it seems that a few raptors were resting near the lake, drinking from it.
“Wait here, I'll get them” - Erland said.

As soon as Lyria nodded, he vanished from plain sight, and quickly sprinted towards the raptors, while sprinting he took out two long ropes. After getting close to the unsuspecting raptors, he quickly lassoed the two nearest ones and pulled them towards himself with great force, then he used the rope, to tie their jaws, so that they wouldn't bite. After that he waved to Lyria, to join him.
The both of them got on the raptors and rode off, towards, what they thought, the meeting point.
The raptors were surprisingly obedient, considering they were wild. But they acknowledged their new powerful and dangerous masters, and listened. At least for Erland that was the case. Lyria had some little difficulties. Her raptor felt that the grip on him wasn't that strong and tried to break free. After struggling with her raptor, Lydia got fed up with it and casted a spell on him, making him obedient like a well trained dog.
“What did you do to him?” - Erland asked out of curiosity.
“Mind control” - replied happily Lyria.

And so, for two days the duo traveled, without bumping in to unpredicted adventures. Four and a half day's have already passed and their objective was still not in sight. Lyria was getting nervous.
“Are you sure we're going to the right direction?” - she asked.
“I have no idea, but it's too late to turn around.” - replied Erland.
“WHAT? You want to tell me that you decided which way to go, without even knowing what you were saying?” - Lyria shouted.
“Pretty much. Like you had any better suggestions. You didn't know the way either. Plus your coordination is worse then that of a blind dog” - he replied.
“It is not..” - Lyria didn't agree.
“Well we'll reach something. Lets just have patience.” - Erland said.
They rode for the rest of the day, and even night, and that's when Erland spotted that they were reaching some road.
“It better be the correct one” - Lyria complained.
“Look !” - Erland shouted, while pointing at some lone figure, walking down the road.
Lyria suddenly stood up and concentrated her sight.
“It's Defiler !!” - She shouted, happily.
The two made their raptors to pick up the pace, and started charging towards Defiler.

As for Defiler, once he heard the sound of heavy steps, closing in on his position, he looked at the side and saw two lone raptors, ridden by two strangers, charging towards him. He looked at them for a moment and then recognized the two, it was Lyria and Elrand. Defiler was so surprised that he unknowingly started pouring circles of fire , from beneath his legs, to all direction.
“Damn it” - he thought, and struck the ground with his staff.

The two quickly reached Defiler, and Lyria jumped off her raptor, releasing him from her mind control and letting him run of. She quickly ran to Defiler and jumped onto him, almost knocking him down.
“You wont get rid of us that easily” - She said, with an evil smile.
“That's right, thought you could fool us?” - Erland said, after climbing down from his raptor.
Defiler looked at both of them for a moment, holding Lyria in his hands (like he had a choice). And then let her go, making her fall down to the ground and making the sound “Oof”.
“Well I did fool you two. It's just too bad that you realized my little trap sooner then I expected. It seems I underestimated you. Good.” - he said, and continued his journey.
Erland and Lyria looked at each other, smiled (well Erland didn't particularly smile, but it's close enough) and followed Defiler. The trio was united once again. What awaits them in the lands of the dwarfs? Lets just hope that they don't get captured by the Alliance...
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  #14  
Old 11-02-2010, 08:32 PM
DarkAngel DarkAngel is offline

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Defiler View Post
And now the ..perspectives. Yeah, that is completely my bad, as I concentrated on the new character, that joined Delorian(Or Defiler, he doesn't like his name from the past mentioned..) and completely forgot about wanting to keep everything from Delorians perspective. But then I thought that maybe it would be more interesting, to keep the view from a-far, after Delorian is no longer alone, and return to his perspective once he's alone again. Or something unusual like that. By mentioning the training at Helcular, you probably mean, that I still have to write a wider "book" on that matter, on which I still have my doubts Because I feel that it's too late for that.
As I said, I fully understand why you did it. There are SO many things you can do if you can keep the reader at least partly in the dark.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Defiler View Post
Ou and about the speed that I'm writing the whole story..Well I'm an impulsive person. I find something interesting to do, get fired up, and continue to do that thing, until the fire fades. And it always fades, whether I take it slow or not. SO..yeah, as you can see, slow is not my thing.
If that's how you roll, kid, do it. Developing your talent has to come before all other considerations. Me, I plan scenes days before writing them, going through many iterations and possibilities. Only after I find one that "clicks,"
do I start writing. Even then, I tend to agonize over finding the "right" phrasing for every detail.

Now, comments on A new friend or foe?:
Back to first-person, I see; but we already disscussed that. It reminds me, though, being "inside the head" of a certain character is common, but it's generally not used for "morally gray" figures. The mystery of what's going on in their minds is part of their allure. Of course, I can only speak for myself.

Narration is usually separated from dialogue by commas, not dashes.
Example:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Defiler View Post
“Come out and stop annoying me. If you're gonna attack attack now, because you wont be getting such a chance again” - I yelled to the pest.
Would more properly be “Come out and stop annoying me. If you're gonna attack attack now, because you wont be getting such a chance again,” I yelled to the pest.

I'll also take the opportunity to ask you about slang. Words like "gonna" generally aren't found on the printed page because of grammar nazis like myself. They do have their place, though, mostly in establishing a character as outside "proper" society. Fantasy universes (and "serious" literature in general) frown on its use because it ties the speaker to a specific time and place. Slang is the fastest-evolving part of our language, and many people feel its use disrupts the setting by reminding us of our daily lives.

Thought, while similar to dialogue, is traditionally italicized, rather than quoted.
Example:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Defiler View Post
“So I didn't loose that annoying pest?” - I thought.
Would more properly be So I didn't loose that annoying pest? I thought.

I'm seeing lots of things that could've been phrased better, but there are far too many to list here. I'm going to stick to your "big problems."

And somewhere, we slipped back into third-person. Again, you've already heard my tirade on that.

On second thought, maybe I'd better address this. Let's look at this paragraph in more detail.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Defiler View Post
After walking through all of Trisfal Glades, the duo approached the Bulwark – a barricade keeping travelers from entering western plaguelands, an dangerous land, full of scarlets and mindless undead. Defiler stopped for a moment and took out a black cloak from his bag, put it on and continued to walk. “If you wish to continue following me, you better keep quiet and nod to everything I say. Take this – hands another dark cloak to Erland – You should try not to show yourself too much. Erland hesitant..took the cloak and put it on. The duo continued their travel. After a few hours they reached the bulwark. A Forsaken guard approached them, “Halt, where do you think you're going ? The plaguelands are off limits to travelers without a pass.”. Defiler whispered something in a dark tongue, showed a parchment and a bag full of gold. The guard seemed mezmarized and stunned fr a moment, looking at Defiler with blank eyes, and then he bowed and stepped aside. “Let them through ! They're merchants directly in command of The Dark Lady, on a mission !”. And so the due continued through the gates and stepped in to the western plaguelands. Erland quickly walked to Defiler and asked “What did you do to the guard? His reaction wasn't normal”. Defiler looked at Erland..”a little trick I learned over the years. Manipulating the minds of the weak is easy”. Defiler continued to walk, but Erland stopped for a moment and looked at dark figure – Defiler, at his back. “He definitely is dangerous...” - he thought and started walking again.
From what you described of your technique, you will make lots of errors in your rush. That's fine; but do go back and proofread after you're done. The above paragraph should've looked more like this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Defiler View Post
After walking through all of the Trisfal Glades, the duo approached the Bulwark – a barricade keeping travelers from entering the western Plaguelands, a dangerous land, full of scarlets and mindless undead. Defiler stopped for a moment, took out a black cloak from his bag, put it on, then continued to walk. “If you wish to continue following me, you had better keep quiet and nod to everything I say. Take this," he handed another dark cloak to Erland, "You should try not to show yourself too much." Erland hesitantly took the cloak and put it on.

The duo continued their travel. After a few hours, they reached the Bulwark. A Forsaken guard approached them, “Halt, where do you think you're going? The Plaguelands are off limits to travelers without a pass.” Defiler whispered something in a dark tongue, showed a parchment and a bag full of gold. The guard seemed mesmerized and stunned for a moment. He lookied at Defiler with blank eyes, and then bowed and stepped aside. “Let them through! They're merchants directly in command of the Dark Lady, on a mission!”

And so the duo continued through the gates and stepped into the western plaguelands. Erland quickly walked to Defiler and asked, “What did you do to the guard? His reaction wasn't normal.”

Defiler looked at Erland. ”A little trick I learned over the years. Manipulating the minds of the weak is easy.” Defiler continued to walk, but Erland stopped for a moment and looked at the dark figure – Defiler, at his back.
He is definitely dangerous he thought, and started walking again.
Now, that picked up bit more of my personal style than it probably should've, but there were lots little things, mostly run-on sentences, wrong verb tenses, and punctuation/capitalization issues. All of that could've been corrected in one read-through.

Buffs are a game mechanic. It wouldn't have taken that much longer to have Defiler stop to cast spells on himself and his companion. I am wondering, though, doesn't Defiler seem a little too accepting of his tag-along? It seems a little out of character for him to just share his illusion without even asking.

Indeed. Warlock or Necromancer? Looks like both. Overall, things are improving, I think; though you make so many typos, I almost wonder if English isn't your first language. Keep trying.
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Old 11-03-2010, 01:16 AM
Defiler Defiler is offline

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Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkAngel View Post
As I said, I fully understand why you did it. There are SO many things you can do if you can keep the reader at least partly in the dark.


If that's how you roll, kid, do it. Developing your talent has to come before all other considerations. Me, I plan scenes days before writing them, going through many iterations and possibilities. Only after I find one that "clicks,"
do I start writing. Even then, I tend to agonize over finding the "right" phrasing for every detail.

Now, comments on A new friend or foe?:
Back to first-person, I see; but we already disscussed that. It reminds me, though, being "inside the head" of a certain character is common, but it's generally not used for "morally gray" figures. The mystery of what's going on in their minds is part of their allure. Of course, I can only speak for myself.

Narration is usually separated from dialogue by commas, not dashes.
Example:

Would more properly be “Come out and stop annoying me. If you're gonna attack attack now, because you wont be getting such a chance again,” I yelled to the pest.

I'll also take the opportunity to ask you about slang. Words like "gonna" generally aren't found on the printed page because of grammar nazis like myself. They do have their place, though, mostly in establishing a character as outside "proper" society. Fantasy universes (and "serious" literature in general) frown on its use because it ties the speaker to a specific time and place. Slang is the fastest-evolving part of our language, and many people feel its use disrupts the setting by reminding us of our daily lives.

Thought, while similar to dialogue, is traditionally italicized, rather than quoted.
Example:

Would more properly be So I didn't loose that annoying pest? I thought.

I'm seeing lots of things that could've been phrased better, but there are far too many to list here. I'm going to stick to your "big problems."

And somewhere, we slipped back into third-person. Again, you've already heard my tirade on that.

On second thought, maybe I'd better address this. Let's look at this paragraph in more detail.


From what you described of your technique, you will make lots of errors in your rush. That's fine; but do go back and proofread after you're done. The above paragraph should've looked more like this:

Now, that picked up bit more of my personal style than it probably should've, but there were lots little things, mostly run-on sentences, wrong verb tenses, and punctuation/capitalization issues. All of that could've been corrected in one read-through.

Buffs are a game mechanic. It wouldn't have taken that much longer to have Defiler stop to cast spells on himself and his companion. I am wondering, though, doesn't Defiler seem a little too accepting of his tag-along? It seems a little out of character for him to just share his illusion without even asking.

Indeed. Warlock or Necromancer? Looks like both. Overall, things are improving, I think; though you make so many typos, I almost wonder if English isn't your first language. Keep trying.
Thank you, really. You critiques really help me, they help me improve and that's what I'm trying to do. Well, after you "read-through" after writing suggestion, I started doing that in the further paragraphs But recently I don't have that much time, to correct the one's that I wrote previously.

Oh and I catched you calling me a kid, for which I should thank you To me, that's a compliment. As for english not being my first language..Well I am a Lithuanian. Where my first language being Lithuanian and second,,you could say Russian (or it should be, considering historical happenings), but I sticked to English..and am trying to improve in it.

And about Defiler. I'm actually trying to evolve his character in the process of the story. Show, that he is actually changing bit by bit, after encountering new companions. As for Erland, Defiler saw him as..useful in the future, thus he does not see a need to hide a few little tricks he has, while keeping the really big ones still hidden in his card deck.
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Old 11-03-2010, 05:07 AM
Defiler Defiler is offline

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A short update, that I managed to write yesterday during my free time.

Captured?:
After “happily” reuniting the trio continued their journey towards Thandol Span. And while walking, they were sharing their recent adventures with each other, or at least Erland was.
“And so, after noticing Lyria running towards the other side of the lake, I ran as fast as I could after her, trying to stop her from running right into a troll ambush. I mean it was obvious, that the trolls weren't just standing there for their own amusement. I mean, Lyria wasn't even naked, while she was washing up, she cheated and covered herself in her damn shadows” - he said excitedly - “And when I finally caught up to her, prepared to save her, I find her finishing up with the trolls, who in turn were trying to save themselves, running for their lives.”
Defiler continued on with his journey, without showing any signs of surprise or interest for that matter. Erland looked at Defiler for a few more moments, still expecting a reaction, but didn't get any. Then he looked over his shoulder, to check on Lyria, who was, as always , walking further away from him, only this time, keeping only a 5 meter distance. She seemed lost in her thoughts, with a serious look on her face, and you could even see a wrinkle above her brow. “
Better not let her know about that, because she would freak out”. - Erland thought to himself.
After that Erland turned back to Defiler.
“But you know..” - he whispered - “while I was with Lyria for all that time, I had plenty of time to look at her lovely.. “ - and that's when he fell to the ground, not able to finish his sentence.
Defiler stopped to look at that little show as Lyria, after knocking Erland down to the ground with a spell, stepped over him and continued onwards like nothing happened.
“Heh” - Defiler laughed, in his own way, and went after Lyria, leaving Erland behind.
“You could have at least helped me up” - Erland whispered to himself, while slowly getting up.
After Defiler caught up to Lyria, he walked besides her without saying a word.
“You're not going to ask me, why I'm in such a bad mood? “ - Lyria asked.
“No, I'm not.” - He replied.
“Because you don't care?” - She asked again.
“That also, maybe. But mostly because you have your reasons to be in a bad mood. I'm sure I have.” - Defiler explained.
After hearing those words, Lyria lightened up a little bit. And then Erland joined them and the three traveled the rest of the way to Thandol Span without exchanging a single word. After reaching it, they looked at that wondrous bridge, constructed by the dwarfs. But they noticed something interesting in the process: the bridge was swarming with Dark Iron dwarfs, who were transporting, what seemed like, explosives on the bridge. But they were so busy, that they didn't even notice the three travelers.
“Lets play along for a while. I can count about 30 dwarfs on that bridge, killing all of them would be a hassle. If we're lucky, they wont even notice us.” - Defiler said.
And so, they stepped foot on the bridge, journeying over it, and looking at the busy dwarfs.

When they reached the middle of Thandol Span, Erland somehow didn't notice an incoming dwarf, and got bumped into. The dwarf, after bumping into Erland, dropped a detonator, that he was carrying, which, broke in a few pieces, when it fell to the ground. The two looked at the broken detonator for a moment, and only then did the dwarf notice Erland.
“INTRUDERS !!!” - he yelled, but was quickly silenced after being set on fire by Defiler, with only ash remaining in his place, after a few seconds.
“These guys burn well” - Defiler noticed.
After saying that he felt a light tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see Lyria, and the remaining 29 dwarfs, with guns in their hands, pointing them at the “adventurers”
“It seems we were noticed” - Erland stated the obvious.

Later, the three could be seen, being escorted further, beyond Thandol Span, into the Wetlands.
Well not exactly “three”, more like two and a half. Because Lyria was being carried by Defiler.
“Remind me again, why I'm carrying you?” - Defiler asked, with strong irritation in his voice.
“Because I got shot in the leg, while trying to escape, and it's painful to walk, plus Erland still stinks” - Lyria explained.
“And WHY did you try to escape?”” - Defiler asked again.
“I just felt like it” - she replied.
“She obviously did that on purpose, just to annoy me..” - Defiler thought. - “And we better reach our damn destination soon, I'm getting impatient and I have no idea how long I'll manage to keep this charade on.” - he kept thinking, with Lyria pretending to be sleeping on his shoulders, and annoying him even more. How long indeed..
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  #17  
Old 11-03-2010, 11:15 AM
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Another short one.

Escape:
After walking for a few hours, the three prisoners with their “escort” reached their destination – a fortified dwarven town. Dun Modr. They entered the town, and were escorted to one of the underground houses, where the prison was located. The dark irons tied them up and left, leaving two guards.
“So what now?” - Erland whispered.
“Figuring that I'm not tied to Erland, I kinda like it here” - Lyria replied.
“Well I have no time for this. I'll let you play around until tomorrow, after that we're getting out of here” - Defiler said.
“Before that..got any ideas why those dwarfs captured us and didn't just kill us off ? “ - Erland wondered out loud.
“Because they're idiots. That was a mistake they'll regret.” - Defiler replied soon afterwards.
And thus, they sat in the prison in silence, for about 3 hours. Erland was staring at one spot, Lyria was sleeping and Defiler was looking at the guards. Then suddenly, the three heard a few explosions and a barrage of shots afterwards.
“You hear that?” - Erland asked.
“Yes. Change of plans, we're getting out, now.” - Defiler answered.
“Give me a few minutes then” - said Lyria, after waking up.
The two could hear a scratching sound, made by Lyria for a minute or two, and then the ropes loosened up.
“How did you do that?” - Erland asked out of curiosity.
“Let's just say, that I take REALLY good care of my nails.” - she replied.
After that, Defiler killed the guards, who noticed that the prisoners got loose from the ropes, by firing a few shadowbolts at them. Then he melted the bars and went to the far corner of the prison, where their gear was put away. He passed everyone their belongings and noticed that Lyria was walking on her own, with no problems.
“I thought you were injured in your leg” - he noticed.
“I'm a priest. I heal fast, you don't have to worry. Or did you want to carry me around some more?” - teased Lyria.
“Don't push your luck” - replied Defiler.
After that they ran out of the prison, only to find out, that it was already dark. Which served them in a positive way. Gun shots, loud shouts, and screams of agony could be heard from the entrance to Grim Modr direction.
“The town is under attack. Considering that now the only exit is blocked, we'll have to figure out how to break through there. At the worse case scenario I'll have to take the defenders AND the attackers on by myself.” - Defiler explained - “But for now, let's go check what useful do these idiots have in the inn. I might use some herbs, and I bet they have plenty of drinks for Erland. Lyria, you need something?”
“No, not really. I can guard the entrance to the inn, just in case, just get me some wine.” - she replied.
“Ok then, lets go. “ - Defiler said.
Defiler and Erland quickly ran into the inn, to find one Dark Iron dwarf cleaning up the place. Defiler quickly got next to him, and used his little trick again, to find out where and what he has in stock. After a few moments he got what he wanted and casted something on him. Then turned around and went towards where the basement was. The dwarf on the other hand, stood there for a few moments, and then fell to the ground, twitched a little bit, started coughing up blood and then died.

Erland was picking out the best drinks at the bar, and was almost finished, when Defiler returned from the basement.
“You done yet?” - Defiler asked.
“Yeah, more or less” - Erland replied.
And the both of them left the inn. At the entrance, where Lyria was standing guard, they found a few dead, dried up dwarf bodies, lying next to her feet.
“It seems you weren't completely bored in the time we were ransacking the place” - Erland noticed.
“Did you get me some wine?” - Lyria asked.
“Yeah. It's not the best there is, but I found some. Better then nothing.” - he replied.
“Ok then. Now comes the hard part. As you noticed, the battle is still ongoing. And we need to break through. Let's go check it out first, I need all the possible info I can get to plan this out.”- Defiler explained. - “ Erland, I'll trust the scouting to you, go check everything out”.
Erland nodded and instantly vanished. Lyria and Defiler, in turn, ran towards the entrance and when they were close enough to see what's going on, hid under an arc, that belonged to an entrance to one of the underground buildings. They waited for a while, watching as Dark Iron dwarfs were shooting at some unknown enemy from their barricades, and were in turn, being shot at. And then Erland appeared near them.
“You could have told me where to look for you. I had to check every building from the inn, to find you “ - he complained.
“But you found us. So no problem there. So what did you find out?” - Defiler asked.
“Well it seems that this place is under attack by the Bronzebeard Dwarfs. Or you could just say by the Alliance. There are not that many of them, I think it wont be a big problem to break through. So what's your plan?” - he said.
“I decided to make this simple. Remember our encounter with the Scarlet in Western Plaguelands? Well I'm thinking of just summoning some infernos and then running off in the chaos.” - Defiler explained.
“Well..simple enough I guess. Let's do this” - Erland replied.
“So you can summon more then one infernal? Not bad..” - Lyria commented.
Defiler got out from under the arc he was hiding under and concentrated. Short after he started the summoning spell, while clenching his staff. Erland was watching the battle, looking at the fighting dwarfs, who were lighted, from time to time, by flashes, made by their guns. And Lyria was watching Defiler, while he was busy with the spell. After 5 minutes, the sky above them got even darker, then it previously was, with clouds getting a sickly gray color, thunder started to rain, illuminating everything for a moment, over and over again. Then Defiler let go of his staff, stretched his arms towards the heavens and whispered something. After that, dark vortexes opened up in the clouds, and three flaming rocks fell to the ground, right at the Dark Iron barricades, killing half of their forces and knocking down the rest. Huge men of rock and yellow fire rose up, roaring and smashing everyone around them. One of them even attacked the Alliance attackers. Using this chance, the trio quickly ran out of the town, and past the thinned Alliance ranks. They didn't stop for about half an hour, running further away, just in case. After that they slowed down and looked back, to check if anyone was following. Luckily, that wasn't the case.
“ So what now, leader?” - Erland asked, with a slight hint of teasing.
“This is when things get harder. We'll have to pass a few dwarf outposts until we reach our destination.” - replied Defiler, ignoring the “leader” part in Erlands question.
“Will you be sharing what is our destination?” - Lyria asked.
“You'll know when we get there” - Defiler said.
And so, the trio continued their journey, passing wetlands without encountering any other “obstacles” in their travel and entering Loch Modan, where new dangers awaited.
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  #18  
Old 11-03-2010, 06:50 PM
DarkAngel DarkAngel is offline

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Lithuanian? Interesting. I must admit, although I consider myself an educated person, the only things I know about Lithuania are that it's one of the three "Baltic Republics" (which I can find on a map, but can't tell you which is which), and that there is a distinct archtectural style associated with the country (but I have no clue what it looks like).

I have no knowledge of what literary conventions have developed there, and I have never seen what punctuation is deployed alongside Cyrilic script. (Though maybe you decided you hate the Russians so much, you don't use it?) In any case, I'll forgive you for your ignorance if you'll forgive mine.
Oh, and if I call you "kid," it's related to the thin line between myself and my self-inserts. (If you've read my work around here, you know who I'm talking about.)

I should ask, though, how much do you want me to correct your English vs. story comments?

Unwelcome guests:
Erland suddenly cares about poisons, why? Other that, that I don't see any issues I haven't complained about already. As Kalin Trueshot would say, "Keep working on it, kid. You'll get it someday."
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Old 11-04-2010, 01:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkAngel View Post
Lithuanian? Interesting. I must admit, although I consider myself an educated person, the only things I know about Lithuania are that it's one of the three "Baltic Republics" (which I can find on a map, but can't tell you which is which), and that there is a distinct archtectural style associated with the country (but I have no clue what it looks like).

I have no knowledge of what literary conventions have developed there, and I have never seen what punctuation is deployed alongside Cyrilic script. (Though maybe you decided you hate the Russians so much, you don't use it?) In any case, I'll forgive you for your ignorance if you'll forgive mine.
Oh, and if I call you "kid," it's related to the thin line between myself and my self-inserts. (If you've read my work around here, you know who I'm talking about.)

I should ask, though, how much do you want me to correct your English vs. story comments?

Unwelcome guests:
Erland suddenly cares about poisons, why? Other that, that I don't see any issues I haven't complained about already. As Kalin Trueshot would say, "Keep working on it, kid. You'll get it someday."

Well..in reality Lithuania was never associated with Russia, we used different letters etc. Plus Lithuanian language is considered one of the oldest, not including Latin

About correcting. Well I don't know. You can continue as you have, because I usually make a lot and different kinds of mistakes. And I don't even notice it.

Erland didn't use his poisons before, because he didn't need it against small fries. But now that things are getting a little too hot, he needs a little help from them, thus started using them
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Old 11-05-2010, 10:08 PM
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I could swear you guys were part of the Soviet Union on an old map I saw once... Whatever. I'm young enough that for all I know, the USSR never existed and it's all an elaborate conspiracy!

As a matter of policy, I've decided to focus on improving your English. It's probably a much more important skill than writing a good story. The real question is how. Since this is all on computer, I can't make marks like on paper. This will be tedious, but I think the best option is to go sentence-by-sentence.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Defiler View Post

The dark school of necromancy:

When the third day ended, Defiler was already at his full power, again.
  • The second comma is unnecessary. If you were listening to this spoken aloud, you wouldn't hear a pause there. The emphasis here should be on the regaining power part, not the repition of said act.
  • This is also a case where the usual way of saying something is technically incorrect. Usually, we would say, "the engines are opperating at full power," and that's the phrase prefered in most circles.
Quote:
He got up, recalled his minion, destroyed any evidence of the camp and continued his journey.
  • You seem to do this a lot. Yes, compound verbs are possible in English; but generally, two is the most strung together at a time. Your "waterfall" style is going to produce a lot of run-on sentences, so be aware of that.
  • Who is Defiler's "minion?" Erland? An Imp?
Quote:
Erland, of course, went with him, still puzzled with where they're going.
  • "Puzzled about" is the usual way of saying it.
  • Now, one of the hardest subjects in English: homophones (words that sound the same, but mean different things). You've done this quite a few times, so I thought I'd take the chance to set you straight. "There" indicates a place, "their" indicates ownership by more than one person, and "they're" is a contraction of "they are." Your intended meaning was "they were," which has to be written out fully.
Quote:
After a while, they reached an island, which could be accessed by a bridge.”What is this place?” - asked Erland. “ It's the isle of Darrow” - replied Defiler. “Wait..Cear darrow? The isle in which the so called..school of necromancy existed, controlled by the scourge??” - asked, with surprise Erland.
  • Don't forget to put spaces between sentences. This one's just a fluke, I think.
  • We've already discussed the punctuation of dialogue.
  • And also starting new speakers on new lines.
  • An elipsis uses three periods.
  • The island's name is spelled "Caer." Technically incorrect by Modern English standards, but this is an archaic form (Celtic-influenced, I suspect).
  • Adverbs can be placed either before or after the verb, but "with" phrases must come after.
Quote:
“Yes” - replied Defiler again. “What are we doing here? This is a dangerous place!!” - shouted Erland. “Well you can stay here. I have business inside.” But obviously, Erland didn't let up and followed Defiler into the keep of the castle remains.
  • "Obviously?" I think "naturally" is the better way of saying it.
Quote:
They ventured into the basement of the keep, where the dark school resides. After going in, they encountered two skeleton guards, who were instantly killed by Defiler, as he did not have the patience to wait. After going deeper into Scholomance (Or so was the dark school of Necromancy called) and killing a few undead, Defiler reached his destination – a library.
  • (Or so was the dark school of Necromancy was called)
  • killing a few more undead
Quote:
“you came all the way here for books? We went through all that..for books? I thought that you would at least get something more useful, I don't know..some powerful artifact or something.” - Erland expressed his dissatisfaction. “All in due time, if I didn't have patience, I would have never got as far as I have. So stop fussing and hide for now.” - said Defiler. While Erland hid, Defiler walked past all the books, looking for something. Stopping from time to time, picking up a book, checking it's content, but mostly putting it back at the shelves. And only 4 times he actually hid a book inside his bag. While he was preoccupied with reading, steps could be heard from the depths of the dungeon. Someone was approaching.
  • Once again, "All in due time," technically isn't a sentence, but it usually is written as one because it's usually spoken as one.
  • More homophones: "its" indicates posession by a gender-neutral owner, "it's" is a contraction of "it is."
  • "checking its contents," Information in a book is thought of like objects in a bin: there's assumed to be more than one.
  • Small numbers are supposed to be written out. "Small" generally means "<100."
Quote:
Erland prepared for a fight, grabbing his weapons and watching the doors, he looked at Defiler, but it seemed like he didn't hear anything, because he was continuing with his work, like nothing. But as Erland looked at Defler, thinking of how to warn him without revealing himself, he noticed, that Defiler lifter his arm slightly and moved it to the both directions, signaling Erland to do nothing. And so, Erland continued to hide, while Defiler walked from one bookshelf after another, browsing through all the books, stopping from time to time on one or another book, while the steps kept getting closer and closer.
  • Watch those run-on sentences! I've complained about it before, but that section was BAD!
  • "he noticed" comma not needed
  • "lifted" I think you meant?
Quote:
Finally the person responsible for those steps appeared in the doorway.
  • And there you actually did need a comma after "Finally."
Quote:
It was a strange looking man, holding a staff in his right, dressed in robes, and wearing fancy shoulders.
  • "strange looking" should be "strange-looking." The entire phrase is used as an adjective.
  • "holding a staff in his right hand,"
Quote:
His face, covered by a white scarf, eyes - empty, only dark holes.
  • Where's the verb in this sentence?
Quote:
” Ahh, If it isn't Defiler. My master informed me of your incoming visit, thus I lowered the guard. I've been expecting you. Let me introduce myself – I am Darkmaster Gandling, the headmaster of this humble school of Necromancy. I hope you will enjoy your brief visit.” - he spoke.
  • "Said" is the word. This isn't Spanish.
Quote:
Defiler, after finishing reading the book he was holding, slowly placed it back at the bookshelf and turned around. “The question “how do you know who I am” would be silly at this situation I guess. That Kel'Thuzad knows too much for his own good I guess. And so..what do you expect of me, mister Headmaster? Will you get in my way or will you serve me some tea, while I browse through your wonderful library?” - asked Defiler.
  • A quote inside a quote traditionally uses single, rather than double, marks.
Quote:
Gandling grinned after hearing those words. “How arrogant” - he thought. “Oh no, my master specifically ordered me not to get in your way and to even assist you as much as possible in your search for power. May I be of any use?” - he asked then. “Ou no, thank you, I'm good. I know what I'm looking for, but I'm just checking the rest of the books just in case I find something useful. Give me and my companion a day or so and we'll be on our way.” - replied Defiler.
  • I'm going to say something because you do this so consistently: The word (if it can be called that) is spelled "oh." This isn't French.
Quote:
After those words Erland slipped from the shadows, with an angry look on his face, “why did you order me to hide, when you told about me being here either way??” - he asked.
  • Erland's line should probably be its own sentence.
Quote:

“Just in case. A precaution for the worse.” - Defiler replied. -”So, as I was saying, will you permit us, to stay here for a day or so?”. Gandling bowed his head and replied - “Of course, as I said, my master ordered me to assist you in all possible ways. So if you need anything, just ask.” - After those words, the Headmaster left, leaving the visitors to themselves. “Why did you accept his invitation? Why are you studying these books? It's a trap. They probably want you to join the Scourge, using your lust for power” - Erland spoke, with the need to warn Defiler. “I know. But they underestimate me. No matter how much corruption I absorb, I will still retain my consciousness. Until I kill Arthas nothing will get in my way, noone will stop me. After that..i don't care. Maybe Kel'Thuzad sees more potential in me then Arthas, or so does the Lich King, I don't know and I don't care. Now let me concentrate.” - he replied. Erland, after hearing those words, turned around and found a place to sit down. Those words made Erland think what do to, should he leave Defilers side, until it's too late? Or should he walk the same path with him, to kill Arthas, which would be a great victory for the Forsaken. And the Dark Lady might forgive his failure then? “well..for now, the only thing I know is that..this is gonna take a while” - Erland sighted.
  • I think "sighed" was the word you were looking for.

Well, that took a while! Over two hours, I think. Maybe I shouldn't read this closely? In any case, keep working. You're starting to show signs of talent. Erland's internal conflict is a good move. So is Kel'Thuzad's courtship. Defiler does indeed have a degree of Arthas' reckless pursuit of justice at any cost. On the other hand, you just passed up a perfect chance to recite the old proverb, "Knowledge is power."
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Old 05-31-2011, 02:41 PM
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Ok firstly..I'm back. Secondly. WHOAH. Damn, you have really out-done yourself this time. Maybe a little too much But thank you for not having any problems with spending your time on correcting my mistakes. Well I'm not that good with writing at the grammar aspect 2, so there is no surprise that you'd find some problems. But I do not aim at being a great writer at...well not doing any mistakes. The minor one's come naturally and the rest..well the main thing is that people would understand. About the ..sighted - sighed. yes, thank you for your correction. My bad. Oh and yes, I have problems with commas, since I keep mixing up where I have to put them, and do so as I would in my own language usually (we use a lot of those...way too much if you ask me). And I know the difference between there, their, and they're. I just made a mistake in the ..tense I think. And I think you're starting to integrate your own style of picking specific words etc. into me. I know that I sometimes pick not the most..suitable ones, but that's just the way I like it I guess. It's the problem of mixing up my own language with English I guess. So yeah, thanks and sorry for the late reply. /bow



P.S. But I like to show off that I know a few phrases from other languages :/ poor me and my unsatisfied lust for attention. (except the "ou" part...didn't give it much thought how to write it)
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Old 05-31-2011, 02:43 PM
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And so..I will throw in another few chapters, that I managed to scribble while being preoccupied with very important matters. (not..).

An approaching shadow

Meanwhile in Arathi highlands five dark figures approached Stromgarde Keep, which was still being rebuilt. The five of them were wearing dark robes, which covered them up most of their features. Except the obvious ones - it seemed like amongst the five was a female, which could be seen from a slender body, and they had one extremely tall person. The humans of the League of Arathor were busy with working, thus most of them didn't notice the travelers, as they walked into the keep and reached the tents, where the commanding officers spent their time. There they stopped for a moment and stood there until one of the officers approached the strangers.
“Who are you? What are you doing here?” - he asked, with authority in his voice.
One of the five stepped forward. He stretched his arm from beneath his dark robes and showed an emblem to the officer. The officer stepped back with surprise and suddenly all the authority in him vanished.
“Oh, I apologise for my rudeness. I meant no disrespect. It's a rarity to see the agents of the Kirin Tor.” - the officer spoke with fear in his voice and his head held low - “how may I help you?”
The agent then took off his hood only to reveal dark hair, pointy bright ears and glowing, fel-green eyes – a blood elf.
“We have been sent by the council of Kirin Tor to find, capture and retrieve an escaped convict sentenced to death by the council. The convict is a blood elf shadow priest named Lyria Fifeender, and is currently traveling with two undeads – a mage with unknown powers and a rogue. We have heard that they passed through here, have you encountered these persons?” - the agent explained.
The officer looked surprised and was lost in thoughts for a while.
“Well, we didn't encounter the group you described, but about a week ago, an undead necromancer of sorts reeked havoc in the keep, slaughtering the ogres and syndicate members who were living in parts of the keep and then left, without us being able to capture him. He even left us quite a few undead to....” - and he was not able to finish his explanation when the blood elf agent grabbed him by the throat and lifter him up, looking at the officer with a fearsome look and signs of fury all over his face.
“I don't care about the undead necromancer or whatever he is !” - he shouted - “ Where is Lyria???”
The officer could barely breathe, let alone speak
“I..don't know” - he managed to say.
“Then die you worthless worm!” - the agent spoke with his teeth clenching.
He was about to kill him, but as he begun to conjure a fire bolt in his free arm, one of his companions suddenly stepped forward and grabbed it. It was the very tall person, the blood elf was half his size, when compared.
“Stop it Quin'dalin” - he said.
“Don't interfere Zal'jin” - the blood elf replied.
Zal'jin then took off his hood, the first thing you would pay attention to was his long tusks, and of course his crazy hair-do. A wonderful specimen of a darktroll indeed.
“There is no meanin' in killin' this human weakling. Let him go and let's continue our hunt. We must concentrate on catchin' the prisoner” - Zal'jin explained.
Quin'dalin then looked at the human and slowly loosened his grip, finally letting the human fall to the ground, heavily coughing and trying to catch his breath. After that the agents turned around and left the keep, with haste they continued their search.


An unpredicted obstacle
As for the trio, they entered Loch Modan and started to approach the first dwarven outpost. But something seemed wrong. Firstly, the outpost was swarming with dwarved and there were way too many of them, then it should have been.
“Go find out what's going on” - Defiler told Erland.
“Ok, be back in a bit” - he replied.
“ What could possibly go wrong now” - sighed Lyria.
“If we're lucky, nothing of worry and we will be able to continue our journey” - replied Defiler.
“Yes, and luck is definitely on our side” - laughed Lyria.
The two of them waited, while hiding in a forest nearby. They continued to walk deeper into it and approached a lake.
“This spot will be ok, let's wait for Erland here” - Defiler decided and sat down on the roots of a nearby tree.
Lyria seemed hesitant to follow Defilers example. She seemed lost in thought and was about to say something, but after a minute or two smiled sadly and sat down not far from Defiler.
“What seems to be bothering you? You better spit it out now while I'm in a good mood, because I don't like surprises while traveling” - Defiler spoke, while playing with fire, which danced in his palm.
Lyria turned to Defiler with obvious dissatisfaction in her eyes, at the way of how the words were spoken.
“Whatever are you talking about? I had no intention of telling you anything. Or do you suddenly expect something from me ?” - Lyria stubbornly spoke, while glaring at Defiler.
“It seems I was mistaken. Then forget I said anything” - Defiler replied and closed his palm, together with the fire that was in it. He then quickly stood up and turned towards the forest. After a few moments Erland appeared, and ran towards the two.
“We have a big problem. It seems the dwarves have mobilized and are preparing to march on the dark dwarves that were near Thandol Span. It seems they are waiting for more reinforcements that are coming from the depths of Loch Modan.” - Erland explained quickly.
As word after word slipped from Erlands mouth, Defiler seemed more and more unsatisfied. When Erland finished speaking, he unknowingly released a gust of fire from beneath his feet.
“DAMN IT !” - he shouted with rage - “Those damn dwarves, why did they have to mobilize now of all times. If I wasn't short on time, I would kill them all off like flies and reanimate them to use for multiple purposes.”
Lyria chuckled, probably happy with Defilers anger.
“So what do we do now?” - Erland asked.
Defiler then returned to his cold self and started walking back and forth while composing a plan of action. After a minute or two he suddenly started searching through his stuff and took out a tattered book. He quickly searched through it's pages and stopped at the middle, where a caricature of a dragon was scribbled. Defiler looked at the book for a while and closed it after that. While putting it away he turned to his two temporary(or so he thought) companions.
“Ok, it seems we will have to go back to Wetlands. Good thing I remembered reading something interesting. Lets go” - Defiler said.
“But we already left Wetlands, what could possible be there that we would need for our journey?”- Erland asked.
“You'll see. It will be a bit of a bother, but we have no choice.” - Defiler replied, and hurried towards the entrance to Wetlands, with Lyria and Erland behind him.

Surprisingly the trio traveled to the corners of Wetlands. After two days of travel they reached a wooden wall with broken down wooden gates. They seemed quite old. The wall was built to prevent travelers to enter a road leading upwards to the mountains. But it seemed like there were no guardians guarding it.
“What the hell is this place supposed to be? We're looking for some artifact or something?” - Erland asked.
“Yes, this obviously seems like a waste of time. Who knows what will be waiting for us up there. It's suspiciously too quiet.” - Lyria joined in.
“Shut up both of you. There is a reason why we're here. It will make our travels a lot faster and easier. If we're lucky that is” - Defiler explained.
“And what will determine our luck?” - Lyria asked impatiently.
“If my spell will be a success or not” - Defiler mumbled.
Lyria turned to Defiler with surprise and dissatisfaction all over her face, but remained silent. And so the trio walked past the broken gates and started climbing up the steep road. After a while they reached another wall, with gates in the same condition as the previous ones.
“Ok, Now I'm uncertain we should continue forward. Something tells me I won't like what's at the end of this road.” - Erland complained.
“No, we will continue” - Defiler replied with certainty.
Erland looked at Lyria waiting for some support in the matter, but seemed to get none, as Lyria completely ignored him. So They went past the second wall, with their senses heightened and their hands on their weapons. Except Defiler, since he only needed his staff, which was in his hand the whole time. After walking for a while longer they reached the third wooden gate, but this time it wasn't unguarded. Two drakonkin mages, who seemed unhappy with the intruders that were in front of them, were standing guard. They waited until the trio would turn around, which they didn't and thus decided to dispose of them. Both of them started to cast fire balls with the intent to kill. But that didn't scare the trio. Defiler quickly bombarded the dragonkins with shadow, and watched as they fell to the ground – with no sight of life in them.
“Dragonkins, seriously? We came all the way up here to fight dragons? And dragons of the Red dragonflight at that. What might they be guarding here?” - Erland asked, with the tone of his voice higher then usual.
“Yes, you are correct. At the end of this road stands a red dragon. He wont be an easy foe, but once he's defeated, I will be able to use his remains for our advantage. Now stop your complaining and get ready for a fight. There will be more dragonkins where those two came from. And it does not matter from which flight the dragons are or what they are guarding. It does not concern you” - Defiler hastily replied.
Lyria seemed hesitant, she turned her head and looked behind for a while, but it seemed like there was nothing there, as she then quickly turned back to Defiler and Erland, who were already walking past the wooden gates and cought up to them. What the three found behind the gates was a happy company of drakes with a mighty red dragon behind them.
“I counted 15 dragonkins. This is gonna take a while” - Erland realised.
“No it wont, these are small fries, won't take long to finish them off” - Defiler replied.
And so the action began, the dragonkins charged towards the three intruders. They threw everything they had at them, fire balls, their warriors with huge axes...everything. (Well I guess it's not that much). But it did not affect the trio. The first wave of dragonkin warriors were quickly put to rest by a barrage of spells from Defiler and Lyria. As for the mages – let's just say that Erland had a hand in finishing them off, jumping from each and every one of them, slicing open their throats and leaving them dead in their spot. After a few moments of heavy fighting, the time for taking care of the red dragon came, who was preoccupied with flying over the intruders and raining fire on them, which either missed or was deflected by Defiler.
“Dodge those fireballs, I don't want to waste my energy deflecting them.”- Defiler shouted.
“No need, I'll shield both of you, so that you wouldn't receive any damage from them” - Lyria replied and engulfed herself, as well as her companions with a bright shield.
“Well that's useful. How come you only use the shield now?” - Erland asked, while running around the field and dodging fire, since he wasn't sure as to how much damage the shield can deflect.
“I forgot I could cast one” - replied Lyria, which was obviously a lie.
After bombarding the intruders with fire, the dragon finally got tired of flying around and came down to the earth, right in front of Defiler. Who in turn waited for this moment. He started casting something and after a few seconds finished, while ignoring the fire that was coming towards him. The next second the earth beneath the dragon started to shake and skeletal hands rose from it, grabbing the legs of the dragon and ensnaring him in his place. The dragon did not seem happy about that.
“Finish him!” - Defiler shouted.
Erland did not need to be ordered as he was already on his way up the dragons back, as he reached his head, he swung his daggers into the dragons eyes and blinded him, stealing the light from his sight forever. The dragon roared in agony and anger and started to swing his head to all sides, trying to shake off the enemy. And he was successful, as Erland jumped off and ran away from the dragon, who was now pouring gusts of fire to all sides. Lyria approached Defiler from behind.
“So what are you going to do with him?” - she asked.
“Watch” - Defiler replied.
He started conjuring and throwing shadow bolts at the dragon, and after five or six of them, the dragon fell to the ground, only to be finished of by Lyria, who sucked the last drops of life from him. After that Defiler approached the remains of the dragon and started casting something. In demonic tongue he spoke dark words of mystery, with his staff held by both hands. He stood there, whispering and gripping his staff for a while and it seemed that he's going to do so for a while longer. And that's when five dark figures appeared at the entrance of the third wooden wall. They were walking towards our trio with no hesitation in their moves. Erland noticed them and shouted.
“Someone's approaching, it doesn't look like they're some push-overs. Defiler, you done yet?” - he expressed concern.
And that's when Defiler finally released his staff, only to remain in mid air and spoke his last words. After that the corpse of the dead dragon lit up and started deforming, flesh leaving the bones naked, dark smoke instead of eyes, the dragon stood up, but alive no more. He was reanimated and turned into a dead servant.
“Quickly, get on !” - Defiler shouted.
“You want me to get on that disgusting thing?” - Lyria asked with surprise.
“Yes, NOW !” - Defiler ordered.
Erland quickly jumped on and helped Lyria climb on. The previously dead, now undead dragon flapped it's bone wings and started lifting off the ground (It's a surprise how that's even possible)
But one of the dark figures quickly ran towards them and took of his hood in the process. It was the blood elf agent.
“Lyria !” - he shouted.
“Quin'dalin?” - Lyria said with fear in her voice.
But it was too late to do anything, as the trio left the ground way beneath them and flew towards Loch Modan, leaving their pursuers far behind them.
“You knew him?” - Erland asked.
But Lyria remained silent, she looked back at the horizon, where Quin'dalin was left behind, with the wind playing with her bright hair, after that she hid herself under her purple hood and remained so.
With no reply in sight, Erland turned to Defiler.
“So who do you think those guys were?” - he asked.
“I have no idea, but I think we'll find out soon enough.” - Defiler replied.
And so our not so brave and dashing trio flew towards the not so bright horizon (since it was getting dark), towards an unknown goal, which Defiler was pursuing so blindly.


Lyria – stories of the past
After a day of flying, Defiler ordered the dragon to land at a forest in Loch Modan. When the trio set foot on the ground, Defiler asked Erland to scout the area while he set up a fire.
“Ok, but don't you fly off with Lyria while I'm away” - Erland replied, while walking towards the darkness engulfing the surrounding trees.
Meanwhile, Defiler threw a couple of branches, that were lying around into one pile and set them ablaze. After that he sat down in front of the fire and looked at Lyria, who in turn was still standing at the same spot, she first stepped foot on after getting off the dragon. She was lost in thought, with her hood still covering her head.
“How about you join me near the fireplace?” - Defiler asked.
Lyria turned to him and after what seemed like, a moment of considering, she came near the fire and sat down not far from Defiler. After that Defiler took out a bottle of wine from his bag and gave it to Lyria.
“And what might be the reason for your kindness?” - Lyria asked.
“I'm hoping you'll tell me your story and what's the deal with your fear of that blood elf.” - Defiler answered.
Lyria turned to Defiler and looked at him for a while. She opened the wine bottle and took a long sip.
“On one condition.” - She then said.
“And what might that be?” - Defiler murmured.
“Take of your hood”
Defiler was obviously not happy with the condition, but after a moment of hesitation he agreed and took of his hood, which was hiding his head. Lyria looked at him for a while and then reached out her hand towards Defilers face, but it did not seems like a thing he wanted to happen and so slightly moved his head away. But Lyria was persistent and continued to reach out until she reached her goal. She shrugged of Defilers white hair and looked closely at his face. After that she leaned back.
“Well, for an undead you must be the most beautiful one out there. You look like an old man, but not a dead one” - Lyria laughed.
After hearing those words Defiler reached towards his hood and was about to hide his head again, but Lyria stopped him.
“Oh no, you're not hiding under the hood again. Not until I finish my story” - she said.
“Persistent wench” - Defiler said angrily.
Lyria chuckled and then turned her head towards the sky, which looked like a never-ending sea of darkness.
“It all happened before I became a shadow priest and the person I am now. - she began her story - “I once fell in love, in the shining city of Silvermoon. I fell in love with a wonderful man, who was not special in any way, he was a blacksmith. But he was always so kind, uneffected by his rugged job. After a while we got married and lived together happily. But I caught the attention of a talented mage, who was gathering influence in the city, by quickly rising in the ranks of the city council. He proposed to me, asking me to leave my husband and run away with him. He said that he would make me happy, but I refused him, since it was a very uncommon suggestion. We elves cherish our marriages. But my answer did not satisfy the mage. He threatened to kill me and my husband if I do not listen to him, but I didn't listen. I had no idea that he would so something as horrible as that. But indeed he did, and he did it without hesitation. One night when my husband was late from work I was preparing dinner, when I heard a knock at the front door. I rushed there, thinking that something happened to my husband. But after opening the door, what I saw remained in my memory until this very day. Once I opened the door a bloody body fell in front of me and behind it stood the mage. “see?” - he said - “ didn't I tell you I'd kill your husband”. And that's when I noticed that the bloody body was my husbands. It was so brutally beaten, that I couldn't recognize him at first. I fell to my knees with tears running down my face and screams of desperation being let out from my chest. But obviously, the mage did not let me mourn my husbands death. He kicked me off my husband and slowly walked towards me. I crawled away from him, with fear of what might happen after that.. “ - Lyria stopped for a moment, while trying to calm down - “He raped me. Again and again, until he was satisfied. And after that he threw me away, like a used thing. He said that he will come back, and that I will be his whether I want it or not.” - Lyria then stopped again. This time with no anger, only sadness in her eyes - “ And so I'm here. I spent a lot of time pursuing the dark arts of the shadow priest, with no real reason behind it. But after years, he found me again. This time under the banner of Kirin Tor, he found me and put me under chains. That man..haunting me until the ends of the earth. Even now he still chases after me...Quin'dalin...” - Lyria whispered silently, with resentment.
Defiler looked at Lyria, and listened to her story without letting out a sounds.
“Do you want revenge?” - Defiler asked.
Lyria turned to him.
“Yes” - she whispered, her eyes, full of anger and at the same time..sadness.
“Will you kill him on your own?” - Defiler asked again.
She turned her eyes away and didn't answer.
“If not, then I shall do it for you” - he said and took the wine bottle from Lyria, took a sip and gave it back to her.
Lyria looked at Defiler with gratitude. She accepted the bottle and also drank from it, completing their silent agreement.
When Erland returned from his patrol, he found the two silently drinking the remnants of the wine bottle.
“Hey ! Drinking without me? Now that's just rude.” - he complained.
“If you have any more of those wine bottles, then you can join in.” - Lyria replied, with a smile, and a slight hint of her being drunk in the tone of her voice.
Erland took out a bottle out of his bag and threw it at Defiler.
“Since when do you keep your hood down?” - Erland asked with a surprise.
Defiler, after being reminded by Erland, quickly pulled the hood back on and drank from the bottle that he was given, after that passing it to Lyria. She accepted the bottle and chuckled.
And so they drank, till they finished the wine and till the sunshine reached them with a warning that it's time to continue their journey.
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Last edited by Defiler; 06-03-2011 at 12:10 AM..
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  #23  
Old 06-02-2011, 12:12 PM
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An unexpected landing
As morning came the almost invincible, yet unlucky trio got ready for their flight. They got on the bone dragon and lifted off, leaving the forests of Loch Modan behind them.
“So what's your destination?” - Erland asked.
“Burning Steppes.” - Defiler replied.
“What could possibly interest you in those fire ridden lands?” - Lyria suddenly asked.
“There's a place I'd like to visit. You'll find out soon enough” - he replied, with a smirk (Which was not visible, since he was hiding under the hood again).
“Well I guess you keep doing things your way, as always. Anyway, I've been hesitant to ask, since nothing you do surprises me anymore, but, what's up with reanimating this dragon? The fact that he's ugly and stinks doesn't bother me at all, but I recall Arthas doing something similar to an ancient dragon. Where did you learn this spell?” - Erland asked with curiosity, while looking at the thing he was flying on.
Defiler turned to Erland.
“From a book I got from Scholomance. I myself was surprised that the spell succeeded, but it seems like it went well. No idea how long this thing will hold out, but nevermind” - he replied.
“Wait...what??” - Lyria shouted - “You mean to tell me that this flying doggy bone can fall apart any moment ???”
“Yes, that's exactly what I'm telling you.” - Defiler answered, with a smile. (Again, not visible)
Lyria buried her hands in her long hair and mumbled “Why did I even agree to riding this thing..”
“Because you had no choice, remember..we were pursuied ?” - Erland replied to Lyria.
Lyria glared at him.
“That was a rhetorical question” - she growled.
Erland smiled (which didn't look like a smile at all) and looked at the sky, which seemed to get darker and darker by the moment. Dark clouds covered it, with not a speck of light visible, except the lightning, which rained down and lit the sky bright.
“Looks like a storm, shouldn't we lower our altitude?” - Erland asked.
“It's always a storm there. No big deal, we should manage it.” - Defiler replied.
But after those words he suddenly stood up and looked at the sky. And just in time, since a few fire balls appeared from above them ant headed right for their bone dragon. Defiler managed to deflect one, by countering it with his own fire ball, but the other one hid the dragons right wing, and made Defiler loose foot and drop from the bone dragons back. As for Erland and Lyria – they held on to the back of the dragon as hard as they could, until he would regain control of himself. Which he couldn't do, since as soon as the fireballs knocked him away, two black dragons appeared from the dark clouds and attacked him, The bone dragon had no chance.
“Let go !” - Lyria yelled at Erland.
“WHAT? Are you crazy??” - Erland replied.
“I said let go, trust me !” - Lyria replied and let go of the dragon, tumbling down to the unevitably closing in ground.
“Erland looked at her and did the same.

Defiler, on the other hand, was enjoying himself, while looking at the nearing ground. He closed his eyes and whispered something, after that he lit up in a dark blue light. After finishing what he was doing, he looked back up, to check how his companions were doing only to see them fall down, leaving the bone dragon above, fighting with the black drakes.
“I hope they know how to fly” - Defiler laughed.

Meanwhile, as Defiler was falling down, two dark iron dwarves were taking a break from their work in the near thorium mines.
“Damn, that damn slave driver Krog is driving me crazy with his whip. Like mining isn't a hard job as it is.” - said the taller looking dwarf (not like they're tall to begin with)(taller then gnomes tho')
“Yeah, tell me about it. My back still aches from it. Wait here ok? I gotta go take a dump” - the smalled one replied.
“Yeah, just don't take two hours like you did last time. The out-house stinks enough already.” - the taler one laughed.
And so the smaller dwarf went to the nearby out-house and sat down, with his pants down and his hands in his long beard, mumbling to himself, minding his business. But this just wasn't his lucky day, as something suddenly fell from above and crashed on top of him, killing him in an instant.
The dwarfs friend noticed what happened and ran to help his friend, only to find him dead, with a, what seemed like, and undead on him, who's back was unhealthily bent backwards.
“What in Ragnaros beard happened??( not sure Ragnaros has one)” - he yelled with surprise.
And then looked closely at the undead.
“Where the heck did this thing come from?” - he said, and looked up.
The undead, who as you could figure out by now, was Defiler, then stood up, bent back to its original position and looked at the surprised dwarf.
“You can thank your friend over there in the after-life for softening my fall” - Defiler said, and then with his palm facing the dwarf, set him on fire, and burned him down to ashes.
“Not the best spot to fall down I guess, but at least I didn't get dirty, thanks to that dwarf. Even they are useful from time to time. - Defiler talked to himself, while walking away, and wiping dust of himself.

As for Lyria and Erland...
“You better have a plan for this!!” - Erland yelled at Lyria, while falling down.
“Of course I have a plan, just calm down” - Lyria replied to him, while checking her nails.
Erland glared at her and thought to himself “I hate that woman”.
As the two were about to hit the ground, Lyria casted a spell on herself and then Erland, which made them suddenly stop in mid-air.
“Ooof! You know, stopping in mid-air is still kinda painful” - Erland complained.
“Better then being dead” - Lyria replied, and then after flicking her fingers landed on her feet and looked around. - “I wonder if Defiler is ok” - and then did the same thing to Erland.
“Of course he is, he does more crazy stuff then that.” - Erland said, after being suddenly thrown to the ground.
And that's when the two saw a dark explosion in the sky, not far from where they were.
“That must be him, how kind of him to give us a sign where to look for him” - Lyria said, and started walking towards that direction.
“Hope it's not a trap or something like that.” - Erland mumbled.


But it wasn't. After a short walk the two noticed Defiler sitting on a rock, waiting for them.
“What took you so long?” - he asked.
“Erland kept pestering me about the possibility of a trap” - Lyria replied and got closer to Defiler - “ Glad you're ok, who else would I tease of not for you?” - she chuckled.
“So what now? What happened to our free-ride?” - Erland asked.
“He's dead. Not much he could have done against two full-grown black dragons. Let's go, we'll just have to reach our destination on foot for now. I'll think of something later.” - he explained.

Thus the trio continued their journey on foot, heading towards a tall, dark mountain, reaching towards the sky with it's tip lighted by fire, being spat out from within.
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  #24  
Old 06-02-2011, 12:16 PM
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Blackrock mountain

And so the trio approached the dark mountain in front of them, which had the only way to the burning steppes, where Defilers goal waited for his arrival(not literally of course). After reaching the mountain, they went up the primitive wooden stairs, leading to the entrance to it – a huge dwarven made gate, which was open and welcoming visitors. Lucky them. Or are they?
After entering through the gates and walking deeper into the mountain the travelers started hearing sounds. Voices, roars and heaven knows what else.
“I don't like the sound of that” - Erland whispered.
“Knowing our luck, we'll probably find an army waiting to welcome us” - Lyria sighed.
Defiler didn't comment, only continued to walk down the dark corridors of the mountain. After a while, the sounds could be heard clearly and they were reaching the end of the corridor, as light could be seen at the end of it. Now, with the sounds clear, the trio could make out battle cries, the sounds of heavy foot steps, explosions and screams of agony.
“Please don't tell me you were right.” - Erland commented on Lyrias previous prediction.
And right she was. When they reached the end of the corridor, what they saw was not something to be happy about. It was a huge skirmish between the inhabitants of Blackrock mountain – the servants of Nefarian – Blackrock orcs(well the Blackrock clan is more like allies, but whatever), with the support of Nefarians children (dragons, dragonkins etc.), and the servants of the fire lord Ragnaros – Dark iron dwarves, with their dwarven made war golems and fire elements. The two sides were clashing with each other ferociously, with gunshots and clashes of iron heard all over the halls of Blackrock. The trio, with no present choice of action observed the battle and noticed that neither side was winning, a battle with no visible end it seems. The battle itself was situated at the opening in the mountain, a big room, with a deep pool of lava in it's middle, above which hovered a chained island of rock, with a structure on it. The forces clashed on a road which went around the flaming pool of lava, and some of the fighters were unlucky enough to fall down the edge of the road, into the it.
“So what now?” - Erland asked, while looking at Defilers back, expecting some plan of action.
Defiler stood silently for a while and then hit his forehead with his palm, expressing how much he was unhappy with the view in front of him.
“Curse my rotten luck” - he whispered.
Lyria started to laugh heavily at Defiler, which caught the attention of one of the Dark Iron dwarves, who was loading his gun, while covering behind the front lines. He looked at the three strangers frozen in surprise, which the three noticed and looked at him in turn, waiting for his actions. The dwarf however didn't seem like he was in a hurry. After a few moments of being frozen he turned back to his gun and finished loading it, then he lifted it up, and placed it on his shoulder. After that, he turned around and went back to the opposite direction of the battle.
The trio exchanged eye contact with each other.
“What the hell was that?” - Erland asked.
Defilers shoulders went up and down, expressing that he did not know the answer to that question.
“So we just wait until the battle is over?” - Lyria asked, with a smile on her face.
But Defiler did not answer, as he was looking at the approaching Dark Iron dwarves. It was the previously encountered dwarf, who was still holding on to his gun, he was accompanied by a wealthy looking dwarf, probably because of his fancy clothes, which were littered with medals. Instead of a gun, he was holding a big axe in his right hand.
“And who might you three be, trespassing in our mountain? - The wealthy looking dwarf asked.
“It's none of your business, shouldn't you introduce yourself first dwarf?” - Defiler replied.
The dwarf did not look very happy with the reply he got, and his companion with the gun removed it from the shoulder and prepared for the worse.
“I am general Angerforge of the Dark Iron clan. I came to you with a request to help in this skirmish against the Blackrock orc clan. If you do, we promise to let you through and will even escort you out of the mountain.” - he replied, ignoring Defilers previously spoken rude words.
Defiler looked at him for a while and then started laughing.
“You want MY help? What makes you think that I can't just annihilate both of your forces?” - he asked, with laughter in his voice.
“Well, it seems like you three are in a hurry, and it does look like you can handle yourself. But taking care of this many enemies will take a considerable amount of time and energy. Don't you think working with us will be faster?” - Angerforge explained calmly, uneffected by Defilers laughter( or so it seemed)
“Hey, let's help them out, it will be much easier and faster” - Erland whispered to Defiler
“Yes, and I probably wont break any nails if we do so” - Lyria mentioned.
Defiler did not seem happy with his companions agreeing with the proposal of the dwarf. He expressed this by lifting his staff up and heavily hitting the floor with it, which released a small burst of shadow from beneath it on contact.
“Very well.” - Defiler answered.
“Ok then, here's the plan, we shall keep pressure on their front flank while you...” - Angerfang tried to explain his plan, but it seemed like it was useless, as Defiler just walked away, straight to the front lines.
“Order your troops to fall back, because if they don't both sides will receive casualties” - Erland warned the general.
“Here we go again” - Lyria said with a smile on her face, and followed Defiler, together with Erland.
The general snorted with dissatisfaction.
“Damn undead. He things he's special, we'll see how he'll handle the Blackrock forces on his own.” - he mumbled to himself.
After getting closer to the battle, Defiler stopped and started casting, Erland and Lyria, standing next to him, prepared for the incoming fun. While Defiler was preparing his spell, a horn echoed through the dark caverns of the mountain and the Dark irons retreated, following with shouts of joy and victory from the Blackrock clans side. But not for long. As soon as the dwarves retreated, fire started raining above the orcs, setting a lot of them on fire, and inserting chaos into their ranks. That obviously was Defiler.
“Why are you standing here ? Go kill some of them, I'm not doing this job alone, oh and don't forget to shield yourselves, I might make a mistake and hit you with my spells” - Defiler said.
“I hope that was a joke” - Erland said, and charged into the disorientated orcs with Lyria, who listened to Defilers advise and shielded herself and Erland.

After raining the army of orcs with fire, Defiler instantly started another spell, which took a while longer, and let the orcs realize whats happening and react appropriatly – Their drums of war echoed and the first line of orcs started to run towards Defiler, only to be stopped by Lyria and Erland. Erland quickly disposed of the first five orcs, quickly stabbing them in their vital parts and jumping to the next target, skillfully evading all the attacks made against him. As for Lyria, she feared all the rest and starting dropping spells on each and every one of them, some were blown away by an unknown force, some suddenly started coughing up blood and fell to the ground, while the remaining few got their life sucked out of them. While they were preoccupied with the first wave, the orcs sent out their drakes and dragons to deal with the unexpected thorn in their side, accompanied with their mages and warlocks, who summoned their dark minions like felbeasts and such. Things didn't look well for them, until Defiler finished his spell. As usual for battles, what remains on the ground are dead bodies of fallen warriors. And thats exactly what Defiler used. He reanimated all of them, creating an army of the living dead, ready to slaughter the living and take them to the underworld with them. Instead of a previous battle, the orcs found themselves in another one, which surprisingly was not in their favor.

Obviously Defiler didn't just stop with the undead, as he knew that they are not the most suitable force to get rid of an army, thus he started to draw three large pictograms on the floor, which in a general view composed a triangle. After finishing his drawing, the pictograms lit up in a bright red colour. After that Defiler took out a few soulshards and placed them in the middle of the triangle, backing off and whispering words in demonic tongue.

Meanwhile Erland and Lyria were busy helping the horde of undead fight the Blackrock clan(or the other way around), with Erland at the front lines, picking off the orcs one by one, and Lyria bombarding them with shadow and light, destroying drakes and unlucky orcs. When suddenly a huge ball of shadow fell down in the middle of Defilers minions and killed off a third of them. After that, a dark portal opened at the front of the orc line of defense and, what seemed like a doomguard, came forth from within it(summoned by the enemy). A big demon with horns, wings and eyes full of blood lust, carrying a huge polearm and having hoofs instead of feet. He quickly started disposing of the undead, who were helpless against the huge demon, thus the Blackrock orc forces started to pressure the trios forces, making winning ..difficult.
“Erland, what the heck are you doing? Take care of that big guy!!” - Lyria shouted.
Erland looked up at the huge demon and sighed “The things I do..”. He then sprinted towards him, and jumped on his leg, thrusting his daggers into it, and slowly climbing up, pulling out his daggers and thrusting them in again in a higher place. That did not seem to sit well with the doomguard, as he started shaking his leg and stomping all over, after which the demon looked down to his leg and was about to squish Erland with his left palm, but was interrupted by a wave of shadow, which almost knocked him down, after that he turned towards the direction, from which the wave came and got hit by balls of light, which blew up on contact with the demons skin, after that two dark rays hit his left arm and his right side, piercing the skin and slowly coming out the other side. Lyria was doing a great job distracting the beast, but it seemed like she could have finished him off on her own. Meanwhile Erland was already on the shoulders of the doomguard and started throwing knives into his face, aiming for the eyes, which he succeeded – mostly, since he only hit his left eye. The demon, angered by such attacks flapped his wings and jumped into the air, shaking off Erland and escaping the deadly rays which were casted by Lyria. While Lyria was about to continue her attacks on the wounded demon, she noticed incoming shadow bolts from within the slowly getting closer orc army, she dodged two of them, but one hit her – or her shield to be precise, which absorbed the damage. After that the enemy, who was responsible for this sudden attack appeared. It was an orc warlock, wearing back robes and a strange hat, with a staff in his left arm, which looked like a chopped off tree branch. The orc then conjured a ball of fire and threw it at Lyria, following with a few more shadow bolts, while slowly walking towards her. Lyria quickly turned her palm towards the approaching fire ball and split it apart, ignoring the shadow bolts coming after that and letting the shield do it's job. She then quickly started bursting waves of shadow and light at the orc, who had a hard time defending against all of that. And as soon as Lyria saw an opening, she quickly shot a dark beam and pierced his chest, letting him fall to the ground, lifeless. After that she turned around and for her surprise, managed to dodge the polearm of the demon she attacked previously.
“Well that was lucky” - she thought.

But what she failed to notice, was that the orc she supposedly killed, rose up healthy and well and started conjuring another fireball, aiming to kill the blood elf. But then suddenly stopped, as Erland appeared from behind him and stabbed him at the neck and his right side, which killed him instantly..again. After making sure that the orc was dead this time, he looked at Lyria and saw her finish of the doomguard with a few blasts of shadow, and finishing him off by pushing him into the lava pit, with a shock wave. After that he turned back at the army of orcs, which seemed a little bit lesser, but still a fearsome force.
“Lyria, this doesn't look too well, what the heck is Defiler doing?” - Erland yelled.
“No idea, but whatever it is, he better do it fast” - Lyria replied, while continuing her bombardment of the Blackrock forces.

And then suddenly (obviously, after the two noticed that something was missing..and here he is !), a huge dark portal, swirling with dark nether within it, opened up behind the dwindling forces of the living dead. The battle suddenly froze, as everyones eyes (except the undead, who were ignoring the dramatic moment and continued to kill off the orcs and their drake allies) on the portal, which stood there without any visible movement for a while, but after that, demons starting pouring out of it – huge doomguards, the feared felguards with their huge swords, their pet felhunters, Infernals and all kinds of demons started charging towards the blackrock forces, stepping over everything, killing off the undead and the orcs alike.
“Let's get out of here before they attack us to!” - Erland said, and got out of the way with Lyria.
After that the ending of the battle was obvious, the orcs got slaughtered and scattered, retreating to their side of the mountain, followed by the demon armada.
Lyria and Erland approached Defiler, who was resting near the portal.
“Now that was a surprise, here I thought that you were only capable of necromancy” - Erland commented.
“Don't forget that I'm originally a warlock.” - Defiler answered, with fatigue in his voice.
“You ok? Summoning such a huge force can't be good for you” - Lyria noticed.
“I'm fine” - replied Defiler and stood up. He then flicked his fingers, and the remaining undead fell to the ground, back to being lifeless bodies. After that he turned to the portal and with his hand towards it, started closing it up, which took a while.

When the battle ended, with the Dark Iron dwarves - the spectators of such a sight, with their mouths wide open and speechless, their general, Angerforge approached the three and thanked them for their help, he described where the exit out of the mountain and the entrance into Burning steppes is. As promised he offered an escort out of the mountain, but was refused by Defiler, so the three left, leaving death behind them, and wherever the set foot, leaving the Dark Iron general happy with getting rid of them, since there was no knowing what might happen with them around.




The Altar of Storms

After leaving Blackrock mountain behind, the three continued along it, with bubbling lava on their right, and bones of fallen warriors and dragons on their left. While walking Erland slowly got closer to Defiler.
“Shouldn't you take a rest? You usually do so after each more serious battle” - Erland whispered.
Defiler turned to Erland.
“No, not this time, my goal is to close for me to waste time resting, when I can almost grasp it” - Defiler slowly replied, with obvious fatigue in his voice, and not only that, but you could also see it in his walking, since he relied on his staff more, then usual. (actually, he usually just carries it around like nothing, but now he's using it, to help him take each step).
Erland looked at Defiler closely and then slowed down, letting him take the front.
“What's with him?” - Lyria asked - “He's walking like an old man”
“Perhaps he is one” - Erland replied quickly, with obvious signs that he is not going to discuss this matter.
“What's with you?” - Lyria then asked.
But Erland didn't answer and so the three continued their journey, with their goal so close. After each step taken, you could see the excitement and tension in Defiler face, which could be seen much more clearly, if he would just take off his damn hood.


Meanwhile, the five agents of Kirin Tor, with Quin'dalin at the front, were just about to enter Blackrock mountain, with haste and without any signs of hesitation.
“Are you sure this is the way they went?” - Quin'dalin asked in a grumpy manner.
“Yes, the two Kirin Tor searchers said dat the compass be pointin' at this direction.” - Zal'jin replied.
“And how much can we trust that stupid device? How do we even know if it's following Lyrias magic signature and not someones else?” - Quin'dalin didn't let up.
“We be chasin' them for a month and you startin' to question the device now??” - Zal'jin replied, with irritation in his voice - “Stop yer' complainin' and keep movin'. We ain't got no time for talk.”
“Will you both shut up? You're making this job almost unbearable” - suddenly interfered the female looking agent. - “ The compass is very reliable, as the archmages of Kirin Tor invented and tested it. It has been used to catch hundreds of rogue mages. “ - she explained.
After hearing her explanation Quin'dalin and Zal'jin kept quiet and continued their journey in silence.



Going back to our yet undefeated trio, they have approached a narrow passage through the mountains, which didn't seem long as it only took them half an hour to pass. At the end of it, what the trio saw, surprised and astonished them – except Defiler, as he already knew what to expect. Before them opened up a huge opening, surrounded by mountains. In the middle of it there was a pool of lava(figures) , but in the middle of the lava stood an big altar, it's floor littered with pentagrams, and three big statues of hooded personas with swords in their hands stood on each side, making a triangle if you would connect them. The Altar of storms ! The altar itself was guarded by a few orcs of the Blackrock clan, five warlocks were busy completing some ritual, and four two-hand axe wielding warriors, were guarding them, by standing at the entrance of the altar. Obviously, they noticed the intruders and did not seem too happy. The guards instantly charged forward to dispose of them. Erland didn't wait for an invite and rushed to counter the incoming orcs. After closing in on them, he barely managed to dodge an unexpectedly fast attack from one of them and was about to hit his vitals – which he, again, surprisingly failed, as the orc just jumped back and swung his axe again, which fell down on Erland in a fearsome speed. But it stopped in mid-air, as the orc fell to the ground lifeless – Lyria seemed to have a hand in that.
“Thanks, that was a close call, I had no idea that these guys were so tough” - Erland thanked Lyria.
Lyria smiled and did the same thing with another orc.

As for Defiler, he did not stop for a moment, while his companions were occupied with two orcs, he had to finish off the two remaining ones, which he did in a matter of seconds, by lighting one on fire and throwing the other one into the pool of lava with a blast wave. After that he quickly got up on the altar, with Erland and Lyria not far back.
“You !” - Defiler pointed at the orc warlock standing furthest and looking like the elder of the rest - “ stay there”.
After saying those words he sent a shadow bolt at one of the other warlocks and blew off his arm, leaving him on his knees, with cries of agony and anger.
“You know what do to” - Defiler said to Lyria and Erland, without turning back to them.
“And what do we have to do?” - Lyria replied.
After hearing those words Defiler stopped and slowly turned around.
“Seriously? After that obvious example you still have no idea what to do next?” - Defiler asked angrily.
Lyria could only look at Defiler with an innocent look, obviously teasing him. Which he did not like, he then turned to Erland.
“I hope at least you know what to do next?” - he then asked.
Erland nodded and jumped to the second warlock. After that he stabbed him in his right leg, and twisted his dagger before taking it out, letting the second orc join his first unlucky comrade in screams. Defiler then nodded with satisfaction and came to the elder warlock.
“I hope you know why we came here” - he said.
“No, I do not, intruder” - the warlock replied.
“Do not jest with me orc. For many years your clan has been using this altar to harvest power and give it to your warriors before battle. I want you to do the same thing to me, only you will harvest all the power this altar can muster, and you will transfer it ALL to me. Got it?” - Defiler quickly explained, with irritation and at the same time..excitement in this voice.
The elder warlock looked at Defiler with his eyes open as widely as possible.
“Are you MAD? I have no idea if I can do that, and even if I could, you would not be able to withstand that kind of power. It will consume and destroy you from within!” - the orc explained.
Defiler laughed heavily after hearing those words and then turned to Erland and Lyria who were waiting and watching the show. He then pointed at the two remaining unharmed warlocks, who were trembling in fear.
“Do the same to the rest” - Defiler ordered.
Then he turned back to the elder warlock.
“If you do not do as I say, you will see as we torture your friends to death and then a much slower and more painful death shall await you” - he whispered to the orc. Then he pointed his right arm at the first orc warlock to fell pray to such cruel torture and shot another shadow bolt at him, blowing off the one remaining arm he had and knocking the orc unconscious. - “ Now what is your answer?” - he then asked.
The elder looked with terror in his eyes, as his disciple was finished off.
“Ok ok,” - he then said - “I'll do it, but please spare the rest of my disciples, they do not deserve such cruel fate” - the warlock begged.
“Few, and here I thought we'd have to torture the remaining three. Not the most pleasant job, let me tell you” - Erland said happily.
Defiler turned to him.
“Tie up the rest of the warlocks just in case. “ - he said.

After that Defiler took out a few soul shards and placed them around the floor, while drawing a few more pentagrams and doing some spell casting. After the preparations were complete he turned to the elder warlock who was doing some preparation himself and ordered him to start the ritual. The elder nodded and asked Defiler to step in the middle of the altar, which he did. He placed his staff and his bag on the ground not far from him, took of his hood and stood ready, waiting for the warlock to do his job. Erland and Lyria left the altar just in case, along with the three prisoners – two trembling in fear and one crying from pain.
The elder warlock, standing at the head of the altar started speaking in old orcish tongue, speaking to someone, while looking at the sky - the sky got even darker (not that it wasn't dark enough already) and lightning started striking closer and closer to the altar. After a few louder words, made by the elder warlock - lightning struck Defiler and didn't stop, it was like a beam of lightning, shocking his whole body, and making him scream in agony. The beams of lightning added up, one after another, lifting Defiler up, terrorizing his whole body, making it convulse in pain. After a few moments not even the sounds of his screams could be heard, as the pain must have been to much to even express it in sounds and it did not seem like the ritual was going to be over soon.


And obviously, at the most crucial moment, the five Kirin Tor agents emerged from the mountain pass. They stopped for a moment, looking at the sight before them. They noticed what was happening to Defiler and then saw their target standing near the altar. After noticing her they started walking again, getting closer step by step to their pray.


Erland, being a rogue and all noticed the unwelcome guests and warned Lyria, who turned to look at the approaching agents and then back at Defiler. She looked worried.
“We need to stop them for as long as possible. I'm guessing that Defiler doesn't want to be interrupted” - Erland said.
Lyria nodded and quickly shielded Erland and herself. Both of them ready for battle until the end.

After the five agents got close enough to Erland and Lyria they stopped. Quin'dalin stepped forward and took off his hood.
“Lyria, if you come with us without resisting, we will leave your companions alone. Surrender now” - he said.
Lyria looked worried and hesitant, she kept looking back at Defiler, like she was expecting him to come and rescue her.
“Do not expect help from him. He seems preoccupied, not like he would change anything either way” - Quin'dalin laughed. But he wasn't able to do so for long, as a dagger flew by a milimeter from his face, cutting his ear a little bit.
“Shut up and show us what you're made of” - Erland said, while getting in his battle stance, his weapons pointed at the enemy, his eyes fixed on his pray.
After that Zal'jin stepped forward and took of his hood and cloak, throwing it away. What was revealed looked fearsome indeed. In front of Lyria and Elrnad stood a huge troll. He was wielding a short battle spear and had a quiver for more of them on his back. On his belt hung a long curved sword, with blood stains on it(it didn't seem like he took good care of it).
“I shall take care of the undead.” - he said.
“No, wait” - Quin'dalin said - “Lyria, please reconsider. You don't want your friends getting hurt, do you now?” - he asked again.
“Enough. Do not negotiate with the prisoner. His friends will die either way, since I have direct orders from the Kirin Tor to not only capture Lyria, but also dispose off the mage behind them” - The female agent said, while stepping forward and taking off her hood. It was a night elf – long ears, light violet skin and specific facial art(yep, definitely a Nigh elf).
“Nayra??” - Quin'dalin expressed his dissatisfaction- “What is the meaning of this? I did not hear of such orders”
“Because they were given to me directly. This is my primary mission. Yours is to capture Lyria. Now do your job and stop your whining” - Nayra explained.

After hearing those words Quin'dalin swallowed his anger and turned back to Lyria, only this time he did not talk, he acted. He quickly casted a ball of fire in his right arm and a ball of swirling ice in his left, and threw them at Lyria, as a warning shot of what's to come if she doesn't surrender. Lyria obviously did no do anything, because her shield absorbed the attack. She looked back at the convulsing in agony Defiler for the last time and then turned back to Quin'dalin, who was about to throw another wave of spells at Lyria, but this time, she did not stand and do nothing. Lyria quickly shattered the incoming fire and ice and sent a wave of shadow back, which the blood elf stopped, by releasing a wall of ice in front of him, which was instantly melted with fire bolts flying one after another at Lyria, which made it difficult for Lyria to defend, as she desperately tried to deflect each and every last of them, but failed, as a few managed to hit her shield, which luckily still absorbed the damage.


As for Erland. After the battle started between Quin'dalin and Lyria, Zal'jin swung his spear at Erland with his left arm, which he barely dodged, with only a scratch on his right arm(Yes, it seems the spear pierced Lyrias shield on Erland). After that Erland vanished and suddenly appeared behind the huge troll, he swung his dagger at the trolls side with lightning speed, but for his surprise missed - as the troll jumped high in the air and upon landing drew out his curved sword, ready to strike Erland, who in turn dodged the deadly attack and was about to flank his enemy, with both daggers aimed for one point in his back, but the troll surprised Erland again, suddenly turning to him and parrying the attack. The troll then shoved Erland away, throwing him back three meters and grabbing another spear from his quiver. He threw it in an instant at the dazed Erland, who this time didn't manage to avoid the spear completely and got his right side pierced, thankfully, it didn't hit any vital spots(not like undead have any) and only made a big scratch, which would be a problem in the future. Things seemed grim for the two.


As for Defiler – the altar seemed to be lighted by lightning more and more, as the ritual was approaching it's final stages, good for that, since it didn't look like Defiler could take any more of it, since you could only hear a gargling sound from him.

While Lyria and Erland were occupied, Nayra slowly started walking towards the altar, or to be more precise – Defiler. After coming close enough she looked at the convulsing body.
“Been a while, hasn't it..Delorian?” - she whispered - “ It's hard to see you this way, I'm afraid I'll have to put an end to your miserable existence and let your soul rest in peace” - she said and took off her cloak, that was covering her until now. The elf was wearing green – camouflaging – leather shoulders, and a chain vest. With no leg armor and only comfy boots, for pursuing pray.The elf had two swords hidden in their scabbards, hanging on her waist. Also She had a quiver of arrows and a bow on her back, which she grabbed. She took an arrow from the quiver and placed it in the bow and was about to aim, but was too late – the ritual was over. At the end of it a huge flash(and an explosion of sorts) of light could be seen on the altar, throwing Nayra and the elder warlock, with his unconscious disciple off the altar( the warlocks weren't so lucky, since they fell into the lava) and even knocked over the fighting Erland and Lyria, along with their foes. After the flash passed and everything calmed down – with the sky returning to it's previous color – which was still dark..., only smoke could be seen, which also quickly passed, with a strong wind blowing. Once the view cleared – you could see a body in the middle of the altar. That was Defiler(obviously). He lied there for a while and then slowly got up, coughing and looking around for his stuff, which was blown away during the flash (luckily, not into the lava). After looking around for a while Defiler finally finished getting up and started looking at his hands and trying to feel his whole body, the signs of fatigue after the long and exhausting ritual were disappearing with each passing second. He then lifted his right arm and his staff flew right into it.
“Ok then, what did I miss?” - he asked, while looking at the present situation - “ It seems we have unwelcome guests. Who might they be?”

After the “return” of Defiler and the explosion (or flash, whatever), Lyria and Erland got up and looked at him.
“Well you seem well after all that. What took you so long?” - Erland asked, with a crooked smile.( I hope I don't have to mention again that with his broken jaw, it's not much of a smile)
Lyria looked at Defiler with expectation, hoping that he would keep his promise and kill Quin'dalin.
As for their foes, Quin'dalin and Zal'jin fell back a little, prepared for a harder battle, since they didn't manage to finish their targets before Defilers “return”.


“Delorian!” - Nayra yelled, after getting up and regaining her composure after the sudden blast - “What have you turned into ?? Where did your past self go??” - she yelled with anger in her voice quickly loading her bow and shooting a few arrows at Defiler.
Defiler lifted up his left arm and with a move of it, deflected the incoming arrows (fast reflexes..)
“Ah, Nayra. Been a while since we last met.” - Defiler replied with a smile - “Why don't you join me, like good old times? I can promise you that it will indeed be fun” - he laughed.
Nayre looked away with disgust.
“I don't know you anymore” - she said.
“Oh, but I think you do. I am the same Delorian you knew back in those times. Well more or less I guess. It doesn't seem like you aged a lot, still young, beautiful and full of energy – as always. So what brings you to these forsaken lands?” - Defiler asked.
Nayra looked at Defiler closely, like she was still trying to find signs of her old acquaintance.
“I came for you Delorian. The council of Kirin Tor has judged you and ordered for your execution.” - she answered.
Defiler obviously didn't seem happy about the answer.
“Enough! If you're here by the order of those old goats, like a dog on a leash, then you have no right to call me Delorian. I'm Defiler to you.” - he shouted, and after those words released a barrage of shadow bolts from his left arm, managing to hit Nayra with a few, which knocked her back.

Obviously, Quin'dalin and Zal'jin didn't just sit back and watch. After the attack made by Defiler, they instantly joined the fray, by counterattacking. Quin'dalin started blasting away with arcane energies, and Zal'jin threw two spears at him in a blink of an eye. Defiler instantly reacted – he quickly took his staff into both of his hands and stroke the ground with it, releasing a large wave of shadow and fire in front of him, which absorbed the arcane barrage like nothing. As for the spears – they somehow pierced the wall of shadow and fire and threatened to hit Defilers left and right shoulder, but he managed to deflect one of the spears at the last second with his hand, and dodged the other one. (amazing) After that, Erland and Lyria joined the battle and attacked Zal'jin and the blood elf. The battle continues.


Now you must be wondering where the two remaining agents went? Oh they were there, but for some reason they did not enter the fight, they just stood there and watched. Not the friendliest bunch.
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Last edited by Defiler; 06-05-2011 at 08:42 AM..
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  #25  
Old 06-02-2011, 09:46 PM
DarkAngel DarkAngel is offline

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You're still alive? It's been what, a year? Perhaps you, like me, can't stand to leave anything unfinished. No matter. It's good to see you back.

Review: An approaching shadow
Quote:
Meanwhile in Arathi highlands five dark figures approached the currently being rebuilt Stromgarde keep. The five of them were wearing dark robes, which covered them up, and hid them and covered most of their features. Except the obvious ones - it seemed like amongst the five was a female, which could be seen from a slender body, and they had one extremely tall person.
I remember your "waterfall" style, but this passage shows some interesting notes. I suspect the phrase "currently being rebuilt" is attempting to approximate a Lithuanian word with no English equivalent. This happens often in translation, and usually it means some other means is used express it. You also might give more consideration to how your ideas should be grouped into sentences. If I may take the liberty of rewording your work to a more conventional English format, it would read as follows:
Quote:
Meanwhile, in the Arathi highlands, five dark figures approached Stromgarde Keep, still in the process of rebuilding. The five of them were wearing dark robes that covered them fully, hiding all but the most obvious features. It seemed that amongst the five was a female, which could be seen from her slender body, and one extremely tall person.
With that out of the way, I'll lay off the conventions for a while. Experienced chess players nearly always beat inexperienced ones, regardless of analytical skill. I can't fault you for not growing up with this. From here on, I will focus on the story.
  • You already mention the mysterious travelers are all wearing dark cloaks. It's redundant to say so again.
  • On meeting a Blood Elf, usually the first feature you notice is the glowing, fel-green eyes. You don't even mention it here.
  • The question would typically be "have you encountered these persons?"
  • "we didn't encounter the group you describe"
  • I think the phrase is to "reek havoc."
  • This agent seems very focused on his hunt. Sounds like a vendetta.
  • "He was about to kill him, but as he begun to conjure a fire bolt in his free arm, one of his companions suddenly stepped forward and grabbed it."
  • "Zal'jin then took off his hood. His most obvious feature was"
  • Dark Troll? Strange to see them in civilized company. There is a story to this, I expect. (Zandalari?)

That's all I have time for now. Actually, your English has improved quite a bit since you started. Back then, it was painful to read. Now, I find myself enjoying it. Still, I strongly recomend reading as many English-language books as you can get your hands on. Experience, as I said.
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