Scrolls of Lore Forums  

Go Back   Scrolls of Lore Forums > WarCraft Discussion > WarCraft Fan Works

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 07-03-2011, 01:37 PM
Defiler Defiler is offline

Huntress
Defiler's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 48

Crossed Swords The return of the Forgotten

A short story I wrote on a whim. Still not sure what I'll do with the rest, but wrote the name of the whole story on the thread just in case.

*NOTE Only certain points of the whole lore have and will be used in this story and even those are modified and changed to the extent that it can no longer be placed back into the chain that is the lore of warcraft up until the present day. Just a note...

**NOTE But a few things should be mentioned as to avoid mix-ups. First of all The Great Sundering never happened, and the demon soul was not finished. Deathwing was defeated and sealed, the early continent of Kalimdor was not shattered not only did the united forces of Azeroth's inhabitants were able to push back the forces of the Burning Legion, but they also managed to seal off the Well of eternity, keeping it safe from further use by the highborn or anyone for that matter.




Prologue

A sudden conclusion



The day was nearing it's end as was the battle nearing it's end. The battlefield was littered with the dead, the result of a whole day of fighting and the victor was already obvious. In the middle of the conflict two figures were clashing with each other, leaving a large empty circle around them, with the troops fighting around them, instinctively avoiding to enter the empty circle, which was filled with the fury of the two.

As we look closely at the two clashing figures we notice that both of them were wearing heavy armor, armored from head to toe. Now examining them one at a time we notice, that one of the fighters was a tall figure, with dark plate armor and a large two-hand longsword. His helm was made to look like a skull that wore a strong similarity to a human one, except it had long horns, and covered up his head, including the face. With each swing of the figures sword, the very ground between his feet shattered, scarring the earth with such brute force.

Now as for the other figure - he wasn't as tall as his opponent, but was also armored with heavy armor, only it's color was brighter, bright red to be precise. The figures helm, not like his opponents, didn't cover his face and we could already say that he was a human, with brown eyes, a serious looking face and a few scars on it. The human wielded a large two-edged axe, and swung it fiercely, but not as powerfully as his opponent, since regrettably…the land did not shatter beneath his feet (too bad). The two of them clashed so for moments, swinging their heavy weapons at each other, evading and clashing with no visible end in sight.

„We shall never falter! We will fight and if need be - even crawl until we defeat you and your wretched army“ - The human shouted, as he swung his axe with fierce determination, aiming to slice his opponent in two.
The dark armor wearing figure dodged the threatening swing and counter-attacked, cutting the humans’ side, slicing through his heavy armor like butter and inflicting a deep wound. After being injured so, the human fell to his knee, grabbing his sudden wound and trying to get up with the help of his weapon.

„No..“ - he whispered - „It cannot end here... I will not loose“ - he kept saying, while trying to get up, but miserably failing, with the wound being in the way.
The person responsible for such an injury then placed his swords tip above his pray, preparing for the finishing strike.
„This is the end“ - he then said - „You should have just accepted your fate Argeon“ - and after saying those words he plunged his sword into the shriveling body of his enemy, stabbing him and finishing Argeon off in a second.

Once the dark figure was finished with his opponent, he then turned towards the battle, which was nearing it's conclusion. The human resistance, even with it's elven allies was not able to win in this decisive battle, as the horde of the dead and the living slaughtered the remainder of them.

As the dark figure was about to join the battle, with his sword ready to feast on enemy flesh, something jumped out of the mass that was moving towards it's remaining foes and knelt in front of him. It was a dark troll and a really tall one at that even comparing him to his own kind.
„Congratulations in finishing off their leader master Sitrim“ - the troll said - „We be done with the rest of them in a few moments“.
The dark figure, identified as Sitrim looked at the troll for a while and sheathed his weapon, in a scabbard that was hanging on his back.
„Prepare the bodies as usual once the battle has ended“ - Sitrim then said and looked at the remaining enemy forces, which were slowly being crushed by his army of undead and troll. The enemy forces were fighting bravely, with humans and some high elven mages defending their positions with all their might.
„Soon, all life will be crushed between my fingers“ - Sitrim said under his breath, while watching his forces slowly dominate the battlefield.


As the enemy forces were about to come to terms with their coming death, an unexpected development took place. The sky started raining fire, with it smashing into Sitrim's army, burning many to ashes. The rain of fire stopped as suddenly as it begun and after a few moments the ones responsible for the sudden attack landed – beasts of fire and fury, the red dragons. As many of them landed amongst the undead and troll army, smashing and burning all that they could reach, one of the bigger dragons landed in front of Sitrim, with it's gaze set on the dark master.

„You are a danger to the world and the life within it Sitrim and your actions can no longer be overlooked. You are to be imprisoned for life, as to prevent your dark plans to be carried out.“ - The dragon announced and without waiting for a reply, breathed fire at him.


Sitrim quickly took out his sword and prepared for the incoming attack, but for his surprise the fire did not attack him directly, instead it surrounded him and slowly rose up, threatening to completely cut him off from the rest of the world. He then started to sliced the wall of fire in front of him, easily piercing it's bright skin, but again, for his surprise the hole made after the attack quickly closed up. Sitrim continued to do so for a while, but with no positive results.


„Alexstrasza!!What is this sorcery??“ - He shouted.
„You should be honored, this spell was created specifically for you as there is no way for you to escape it, you can only embrace it“ - The dragon replied.
As the fires finally surrounded Sitrim from all sides, it started shaping into a rectangle, with blunt corners. As the shaping was complete, the fire evaporated and what was left behind was a coffin made out of dark metal, with the dark master trapped inside, forever in darkness.


As soon as Sitrim was imprisoned, most of his army of the dead fell to the ground, with only a few remaining standing - probably highly ranked officers and fighters. Along side the few remaining undead, the dark trolls stood, but as they saw their master imprisoned and could not withstand the might of the dragons, most of them scattered to all sides, with only a few dedicated souls remaining. The remaining few forces charged towards their masters coffin, dedicated to him, they thought they could save their master, but for naught, as they were consumed by the dragon fires, turning to ash all who got in it's way. As the fight was over the dragons flew off into the sky, with only their dragon queen remaining.


„I'm sorry it turned out this way Sitrim“ - Alexstrasza then said while looking at the new-made coffin. She slowly grabbed it with her large claws and after a short pause lifted off, following her brethren.
The battlefield itself was left scorched and abandoned with only the human and elven survivors, who still could not believe their luck, as their enemies were suddenly defeated and they were left victorious (or so to speak).
__________________
Amateur lore writer..Got better suggestions?
PM for suggestions or comments. Or if you want an update on the story...

Last edited by Defiler; 01-12-2012 at 06:52 AM..
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 07-04-2011, 09:21 PM
DarkAngel DarkAngel is offline

Priestess of the Moon
DarkAngel's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Northwest Ohio
Posts: 569
BattleTag: Samael#1487

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Defiler View Post
*NOTE Only certain points of the whole lore have and will be used in this story and even those are modified and changed to the extent that it can no longer be placed back into the chain that is the lore of warcraft up until the present day. Just a note...
It is duely noted, sir.

If I may make my usual recommendations:
  • A long day was nearing it's end, as was the battle.
  • a whole day of fighting; and
  • middle of the conflict, two figures
  • In the middle of the conflict, two figures were clashing with each other, leaving a large empty circle around them. The troops fighting all around instinctively avoided entering the empty circle, which was filled with the fury of the two.
  • closely at the two clashing figures, we notice
  • armored from head to toe.
  • Now, examining them one at a time, we notice that
  • a skull that bore a
  • to a human one; and covered
  • the figure's sword
  • The figure's helm
  • unlike his opponent's
  • cover his face; and we
  • We will fight -and if need be even crawl- until
  • your wretched army,the human
  • dark armor-wearing figure
  • the threatening swing, and
  • his opponent's heavy armor
  • placed his sword's tip
  • above his prey
  • towards its remaining
  • a dark troll, and
  • tall one at that, even
  • as suddenly as it had begun,
  • after a few moments, the ones
  • and the life within it, Sitrim, and
  • out,“ the dragon announced,
  • the fire did not attack him directly. Instead, it
  • then started slicing the wall
  • for his surprise, the hole
  • for you. As there
  • their master's coffin,
  • by the dragon fire,
  • the fight was over, the dragons

Some of that was just changes to the traditional ways of saying things. I don't mean to crimp your style, but your narrations in the present tense sound like something out of a comic book. Are you trying to represent some kind of scene-setting imperfect tense? English doesn't have one. Also, when writing anything other than personal memoirs, opinion columns, or lectures, the use of personal pronouns refering to the narrator or the audience is strongly discouraged. So much so that virtually all English teachers would take points off for it.

Still, the "artifacts" that non-native speakers bring to the language has long been an object of fascination for me; literary conventions add a whole new layer. It look like your computer has a very different idea about quotation marks than mine. Your sentence structures are...unconventional, to say the least. I'll just leave it.

I must note that aside from the name 'Alextrasza,' this story could very well be taking place in its own universe. Maybe it should. The story itself is pretty good, but lacking any sense of context, Who are these people? Why are they fighting? Questions like that need to be answered.
__________________
Every ending is but a new beginning.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 07-05-2011, 01:17 AM
Defiler Defiler is offline

Huntress
Defiler's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 48

Default

All shall be answered in the next chapters. I wrote this as more of a Prologue and have a few other chapters written already, but not yet finished up, as they need to be smoothed out. Of course I'm still not sure I want to drop myself completely to this story, leaving the other one for a while, thus I'm still thinking. Nevermind. Thank you as always for your time
__________________
Amateur lore writer..Got better suggestions?
PM for suggestions or comments. Or if you want an update on the story...
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 07-05-2011, 03:00 PM
Defiler Defiler is offline

Huntress
Defiler's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 48

Default

The return of the Forgotten, part 1

The beginning of the end


The dark chamber stood in complete silence, only to be interrupted by occasional sounds of dripping water. As the chamber was covered in pitch black darkness you couldn't distinguish any specific characteristics, only the general ones – the room was extremely large. It was spacious and had a really high ceiling - supported by wide pillars. Presumably the chamber remained so for decades and would have remained so for a similar duration, but not today.


A faint light could be seen approaching from one end of the chamber – a narrow tunnel, which was connected to it. As the light came closer and got brighter, sounds of voices and footsteps could be heard.

As the responsible for such intrusions entered the chamber, we could already distinguish specific features and the number of them(obviously). The unexpected and probably unwelcome guests were numbering in three – a tall troll, a short(duh!) dwarf and a female human. The troll was armed to the teeth with a curved sword(which was curved to the opposite direction, then normally) hanging from his belt on the right and a quiver of strangely short spears on his back (since they were too thick to be considered as arrows). The troll had distinctive features as a one of his race – a mohawk for a hair-do (well I guess that's normal), dark purple skin, with random markings on his arms and he did not seem like one of the friendly types (figures). He was wearing black leather, which covered most of his body with only his hands and parts of his legs free from it's dark clutches, which made an interesting view.

The dwarf on the other hand was a complete opposite, firstly - he was short. He wore a hat and light clothes, which gave off a refined and „rich“ atmosphere. The dwarf had a paper scroll in his right hand (looks like a map) and his belt was littered with various tools (little picks, brushes and such).

Meanwhile the human female – she was a mage, or at least was skilled in those arts, since she was responsible for the bright light, or to be precise, for the fire that floated above her palm. The fire was lifted high and held in front of the trio, so that they could see further in front. The female had long raven hair resting on her shoulders and had a serious – even dark expression on her face (but she could still be considered beautiful of course). She wore dark robes with no markings or distinguishable features, you could even say they looked plain.

„The treasure should be at the end of this chamber. It better be worth the trouble I went through to get this map“– The dwarf mumbled as the three went deeper into the huge chamber.

His companions remained silent and they continued onward.

As the light from the mages (let's just stick with that) conjured fire illuminated the chamber, the three noticed something interesting. The whole floor was littered with various bones of the deceased, most of who were armed as there were a lot of weapon and armor parts (well what's left of them anyway). It looked like all of it was there for a while, since the gear was rusted through and not much remained of them – similar could be said about the dead. The three also noticed that the ground was burned in various places and that the huge pillars, which were placed in a neat order, leaving an obvious path towards the other end of the chamber, were all scarred and covered in strange drawings and runes.


„You think the warnings given by the witch were true?“ - The female asked, as she checked the markings on one of the pillars.
„Bah! There's nothing to be scared of, whatever was guarding this place died off a long time ago. Those were just delusional snivelings of a dying old hag – The dwarf replied – Now let's continue further, I can almost smell the money I'll be making out of this place.

And thus the two went towards the other end of the chamber, stepping over the remains of the long forgotten. The troll on the other hand took a little longer as he investigated the pillars and the dead on the floor, only to pick up a skull that looked surprisingly similar to that of his own kind. He then dropped it to the ground and got up, walking towards his companions with a grin on his face.

As the three continued towards the end of the chamber, swimming through the endless sea of the dead, they reached their destination – a huge door with a small hole in the middle of it. The door itself was littered with drawings, skulls being the most distinguishable one. But the most visible one was a huge drawing of what seemed like a throne, with a dark figure sitting in it. None of the figures characteristics could be picked out, except a big crown on his head and red shining rubies in place of his eyes. The drawing was right in the middle of the door, taking up most of it's space. By the door two noticeable remains lied, which caught the attention of the guests.

The remains were big and I mean BIG, almost twenty times larger then our three companions. The broken down remains were winged and had a long skull with large fangs.

„Dragons“ - The female spoke.
„And by the looks of it – red dragons“ - the Dwarf spoke, while lifting a red dragon scale - „Now I want to enter the treasure chamber even more“

The three then approached the huge door. Or two to be precise, since the troll stood in front of it from the very beginning, examining the drawings on it.

„I can feel magic coming from behind the door“ - The human spoke - „And it feels quite hostile“
„I didn't pay you to complain, now shut up and let me through. It's time to claim my payment“ - The dwarf said and took out a strange object.

The object almost looked like a knife, since it was shaped as one, but it was too thick and didn't look sharp at all (unless it was poorly taken care of). The knife seemed to be made out of bone with skull ornaments carved on it's handle. The rude dwarf then inserted the strange knife in the key-hole – that was in the middle of the door and turned, stepping back and waiting for what's to come next.

After the „key“ was inserted, the drawings on the door lit up in red and after a while it slowly opened up with dark, thick mist coming from the widening gap. As the door completely opened and the light invaded it's dark chambers, the three could finally peek at it's content. The room was quite small, comparing to the previous one. The only visible structure in it was a pedestal, marked with odd drawings and writings. On it lied a large object. As the intruders looked around the rest of the room, they noticed that the walls were also littered with drawings, accompanied by the same runes they saw in the previous room.


The chamber itself was filled with all kinds of junk – books, strange contraptions, clothes, weapons and even armor. In one of the corners stood a mannequin with an impressive looking set of armor on it, which caught the eye of the greedy dwarf. The armor was surprisingly well made, with black plate shoulders, shaped to look like claws and a helm that was shaped like a human skull – more or less, since it's shape was a bit different and it had horns. But what captured his eyes the most was the emblem on the front plates of the armor – the emblem itself did not look familiar, but it looked like the head of a horned beast.
„Bah! That's it? There's no treasure here, only junk“ - the dwarf shouted and turned to the pedestal with the strange looking object on it, slowly approaching it - „There better be something valuable in there.“

The dwarf was stopped from his advance before he could reach his new-found destination by the female human.

„Boglar, stop! The pedestal is protected by strong magic, let me investigate first“ - She said and approached the pedestal.

„Make it quick Myriam“ - The dwarf mumbled, angrily looking at her.

The female lifted her free arm and closed her eyes, concentrating and standing still for a few moments. After that Myriam suddenly opened her eyes and quickly moved her arm to the side, like she was ripping something open.

„Correction – previously strong magic. It's so old that only a shadow of it's former power remains. It was easy to dispel.“ - the female then explained.

Boglar then approached the pedestal and started examining it. The object was long and made out of dark metal-like material, at one end a face was shaped out and the whole object was covered in unfamiliar runes.

„It seems to be some sort of a sarcophagus“ - he said, while walking around the object - „and by the looks of it, this whole place is a tomb. The treasures of the buried should be in the sarcophagus, or it usually is.“ - he said.

„Let's get back to the camp, we'll need more people to carry all this stuff.“ - The dwarf then said and turned towards the entrance.

„I be stayin' here just in case“ - The silent troll then replied, while looking at the object which was identified as a sarcophagus.

Boglar turned to the troll.

„This is probably the first time I heard you mutter a word Zal'jin. I liked you better when you were silent. Very well, you can remain here just don't even think of stealing anything.“ - The dwarf then said and left the room with the female accompanying him.

After the two left, Zal'jin slowly approached the coffin and placed his hand on it.

„Finally, I be findin' you, master“ - He whispered.
__________________
Amateur lore writer..Got better suggestions?
PM for suggestions or comments. Or if you want an update on the story...

Last edited by Defiler; 01-12-2012 at 06:27 AM..
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 07-06-2011, 01:23 PM
Defiler Defiler is offline

Huntress
Defiler's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 48

Default

The return of the Forgotten, part 2


The awakening


The camp was bursting with activity, as numerous workers were busy carrying and organizing the items brought from the nearby ruins. But our three companions were busy with only one item – the sarcophagus. It was brought to one of the many tents and placed right in the middle of it, with workers trying to open it up, while Boglar was impatiently tapping his foot on the ground.

„Hurry it up, or I'll cut your pay in half!“ - Boglar shouted at the workers, who were having a rough time as is.
„We're sorry, but it seems that the sarcophagus was solidly closed and it will take a while to break it open ,considering it's made out of sturdy material, which we're not familiar with.“ - one of the workers replied.

„Hmph“ - was the only sound Boglar let out.

Zal'jin was sitting on the ground not far, watching as the sarcophagus was about to be opened with a sharp look. He did not leave it's side not for a second, even when it was carried out of the chamber, he followed like a dog, who found something of worth protecting. The mage was also present in the tent, but was preoccupied with some books found in the ruins, as she was slowly turning one page after another with a worried look on her face.

„What seems to be the problem? Not satisfied with your find bookworm?“ - Boglar noticed Myriam's look.
Myriam turned her sights away from the books for a while and turned to the rude dwarf.
„I do not recognize the writings on this book at all. It's something I've never seen before, but does have a few similarities to human writing“ - she then said.
„Well then they're really old, let's hope the explorers league will pay me a pretty penny for them“ - Boglar then replied and turned back at the sarcophagus, since it seemed like the workers were almost done in opening it up.

As the sarcophagus slowly opened up (since it was damn heavy), Myriam suddenly stood up with surprise and fear written all over her face. Once the lid was taken off, dark mist poured out from within, enshrouding the ground and evaporating not long after that. For everyones surprise the inside of the sarcophagus was pitch black, like a bottomless pit with only mist visible on the surface.

„Call all the present mages here, I'll need some help with this“ - Myriam said, while approaching the sarcophagus and starting to draw runes at the point where the dark mist evaporated.
„What the heck is this anyway?“ - The dwarf said and was about to reach inside the darkness, only to be stopped by Myriam.
„Wait! If you reach inside it you'll probably loose your arm“ - She explained. - „As far as I can tell, the inside of the sarcophagus has been sealed, and it's like a totally different dimension in there, if we don't fix this soon it could cause distortions all over the place“.

Boglar quickly stepped back after hearing those words, glaring at the object in question with an unsatisfied look, while holding his arm that he could have lost.
„What could be hidden inside then? If it's so protected it should be quite valuable“ - he then asked, with desperate hope in his voice.
„I'm not sure yet, we'll know after this thing is dispelled.“ - Myriam replied and went back to work.

While all this was going on, the troll didn't move and inch, patiently waiting for something, with his sights set on the darkness inside the sarcophagus.

The dwarf on the other hand quickly left the tent and a few mages entered it not long after, probably ordered by Boglar to do so.
„You'll have to support me, I have already drawn your circles so be seated“ - Myriam ordered and the mages followed.

As everything was prepared, Myriam sat down in front of the sarcophagus, with the mages sitting in a circle around it. Every one of them closed their eyes and concentrated as the spell was in process. After half an hour you could already see that the mist could not escape the sarcophagus as far as it did before, with it being pushed back inside bit by bit. Once all the mist went back to it's source, the next stage of the ritual commenced.


The mages sat there for hours, with no visible change in them or their target and it seemed like they would continue doing so for a while. Or does it? After a few moments Myriam opened her eyes and the darkness covering the inside of the sarcophagus started slowly disappearing, opening up at the middle and being pushed to the corners. In a few minutes the whole sarcophagus was free of it and the mages were free as their job was completed.
„You may leave now, call Boglar on your way out“ - Myriam then said, and slowly stood up from her previous position.
Once the spell was completed, Zal'jin stood up and looked inside the sarcophagus, with a smile slowly showing on his face.


Myriam did not notice it and approached the object she worked so hard on, curious of what's hidden inside. What she saw surprised her to the point that she froze up for a few moments – the sarcophagus did not have any jewelery or any other valuables inside, what it had was a body. A body of a human clutching a dangerous looking long sword, with a red jewel in it's blade. The human had medium long black hair, almost reaching his shoulders and for her surprise he did not seem old or even decomposed, figuring he lied there for a very long time.
„The spell must have been placed here for the purpose of preserving the body“ - Myriam thought out loud - „Boglar will not be happy, since I do not see any valuables for him“


After those words the mentioned dwarf entered the tent, quickly marching towards the his prize.
„Well? What treasures stay hidden inside??“ - he grumbled only to stop in his tracks once he saw it's content. He slowly approached the sarcophagus without muttering out a word and looked at the body inside for a bit, directing his glare at the longsword not long after. As he noticed the red jewel inside the weapon, he instinctively reached his hand towards it, but for his surprise, was unexpectedly stopped in an unpleasant manner.


Once Zal'jin noticed Boglars actions, he quickly took out a spear from his quiver and threw it at the rude dwarf, piercing his chest and watching as his target fell lifeless to the ground – with surprise in his eyes. Myriam looked at what just happened and then turned to Zal'jin.
„What have you done? Now we're definitely not getting payed!“ - She shouted with dissatisfaction.
„No-one touches the masters sword“ - Zal'jin replied and approached the dead dwarf, pulling out his spear from Boglars chest.
„Master? What are you talking about?“ - Myriam replied - „How can you serve a dead body in the first place? And how do you even know him?“ - she bombarded Zal'jin with questions.
After hearing them Zal'jin grinned.
„The master be awake soon.“ - He whispered.


After hearing those words Myriam looked at Zal'jin like he was crazy and turned to the body in question. After studying it for a while she then went back to reality and turned to the dead dwarf. She quickly set him on fire and burned his remains to ash, sending a wind after that and scattering even that to all sides, destroying any evidence of the previous act.
„Anyway, we need to leave the camp quickly, before they start suspecting us“ - She said, and walked towards the table filled with books. - „I'll need some time to pack it all, you should also get ready“ - Myriam told Zal'jin.
„I be remaining at master side“ - Zal'jin replied and sat down near object, that coused all this commotion again, with his hand on his sword.


Myriam froze for a few seconds, after hearing what her companion just said.
„After all the time we worked together, this is the time you choose to do as you please? If the rest of the camp finds out what you did to Boglar, they'll all come for your head, since he was already late to pay them“ - Myriam complained, clutching one of her books, with anger in her voice. -“Have you gone completely insane? You'll ruin our reputation, finding good mercenary work is hard to come by as is“
„I no longer be working as mercenary, I have found my place by the master, as it be told in my tribe.“ - Zal'jin replied without looking at Myriam.
„What non-sense are you spouting?? You tribe died off ages ago and you still believe the crap your elders kept telling you??“ - Myriam then yelled, with obvious dissatisfaction and anger in her voice, losing her composure and even swinging her arms a bit.

„They be not nonsense, they be the truth“ - Zal'jin replied.
„So what? You're telling me that the body in the sarcophagus is just going to rise and show you the way?“ - Myriam then asked, with a mocking tone.
Zal'jin did not reply, and for everyones surprise (including me) he did not need to.

As the two were having a heated discussion, they failed to notice something interesting. The human that was lying in the sarcophagus suddenly moved and slowly rose from within it, clutching his huge longsword in one hand and slowly stepping out of his previous „home“.

As the troll noticed it, he quickly turned to him and knelt.
„My master, I be happy to see you awake after all this time“ - Zal'jin said, while kneeling.
As the human rose, he looked around the inside of the tent, throwing a quick eye at the kneeling troll and then stopping at the female mage.
As the threatening human looked at Myriam, she could feel a chill going down her spine, as his cold eyes looked at her.
„Who..are you?“ - She barely muttered.
After hearing those words the so called „master“ turned away from Myriam and looked at the troll. He made a finger movement, ordering the troll to stand, and the troll did as he was commanded without hesitation.
„How long have I slept?“ - the human asked.
„It be said that you were gone for a thousand years, master“ - Zal'jin replied.
„How is my kingdom? Were your people able to defend it?“ - the master asked then.
„I be sorry, master, but it be destroyed and erased from history. My people have faltered along with it, and not many of us, who still know of our true purpose remain“ - The troll replied, with his head held low.

The human did not seem happy with those words, he turned away from the troll and looked around the tent looking for something, and that something he did find. His eyes were tied to the armor resting on a mannequin in one of the tents corners which was the same armor set that was found together with the sarcophagus. The tall human quickly stepped towards it and started putting it on. While he was preoccupied with that, Myriam examined him more closely, noticing that he was taller than most humans are and did seem a little different – more muscular and carried a different feel about him. As she was finished with her observations, curiosity caught her again.

„Who are you?“ - She asked once more.
„I suggest you use a more polite tone with me girl“ - The human replied.
Myriam flinched after hearing those words, but they did seem to get to her, as she felt obvious superiority coming from Zal'jin's so called „master“. He did not seem to be in a hurry, while slowly putting the last parts of the armor, taking the scabbard that was included in the set and hiding his large sword within. After that the “master” took his skeletal helm in his right hand and turned to the troll and the human.


“What is your name dark troll?” - he then asked.
“It be Zal'jin my master” - the troll replied, with his head held low.
“You will show me around these lands Zal'jin. Firstly I need to inspect how much has changed since my imprisonment.” - He then ordered and started walking towards the tents exit.
“If you're picking the troll as your guide, he's not the best one out there. I, for example, am much more suited for such a task.” - Myriam then said, while looking at the strange human.
After the female spoke out, her target stopped and slowly turned to Myriam. He looked at her for a few moments, stabbing her over and over again with his cold piercing eyes.
“Very well” - he then muttered out.
“Then could you please tell me your name? Since I do not feel the need to address you the same way as my friend here” - Myriam then said, while pointing at the troll.
Again, the human looked at her for a while, with no haste in replying.
“Sitrim” - the human said and left the tent after that.
“I swear, I heard that name somewhere before” - Myriam murmured to herself as she followed Sitrim out of the tent with Zal'jin in front of her.

As the two left the tent, they stopped in surprise, at least Myriam did. The camp was in an uproar as a few of it's inhabitants were lying on the ground, in a pool of blood. It seems Sitrim was having a little fun, with his helm already in it's place on Sitrim's head and his large longsword feasting on the living. As Zal'jin noticed that, he pulled out a few spears with his left arm and took one of them with his right, ready for battle, cautiously watching the surroundings.
“What the heck is he doing? We were supposed to leave the camp quietly!” - Myriam shouted while watching a massacre take place.
“No-one must know of the masters return” - Zal'jin murmured out and threw a spear at an unlucky soul, killing it in an instant.


After fifteen minutes, Sitrim was already done with the camp, without leaving any living soul except for his two companions. He wiped his sword clean and hid it again in his scabbard.
“Lead on then, to the nearest town” - Sitrim then said, while turning to Myriam.
The female looked at Sitrim's face, which was unaffected by the massacre that just took place, calm and without a trace of remorse. She could even see a slight grin on his face, like Sitrim was satisfied with his work here.
“Ok, but first we need to grab a few cloaks, since you stand out too much with that armor of yours.” - Myriam then replied and ran into one of the many tents in the camp, walking out of it with three dark cloaks, giving one to each of her companions and leaving the camp soon after with them, with the now abandoned camp behind them, filled with the stench of death.
__________________
Amateur lore writer..Got better suggestions?
PM for suggestions or comments. Or if you want an update on the story...

Last edited by Defiler; 01-10-2012 at 10:21 AM..
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 07-06-2011, 01:55 PM
DarkAngel DarkAngel is offline

Priestess of the Moon
DarkAngel's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Northwest Ohio
Posts: 569
BattleTag: Samael#1487

Default

My apologies, Defiler, but there are so many changes I'd reccomend here that I can't keep track of them all. Instead, I will give you a glimpse of what the story could be. Maybe I'm just really bored...

Quote:
The dark chamber stood in complete silence, interrupted only by occasional sounds of dripping water. As the chamber was covered in pitch darkness, no specific characteristics were distingushable, only the general ones. The room was extremely large. It was spacious, and had a very high ceiling, supported by wide pillars. Presumably, the chamber had remained so for decades, and would have remained so for decades more; but not today.


A faint light could be seen approaching from one end of the chamber, where a narrow tunnel was connected to it. As the light came closer and got brighter, the sounds of voices and footsteps could be heard.

As those responsible for such intrusions entered the chamber, their features could be made out, along with their number. The unexpected -and probably unwelcome- guests numbered three: a tall troll, an (obviously) short dwarf, and a female human. The troll was armed to the teeth, with a curved sword hanging from his belt on the right, and a quiver of strangely short spears on his back. (They were too thick to be considered arrows.) The troll had the distinctive features of his race: a mohawk hair-do (a popular choice among his kind), dark purple skin, with random markings on his arms. He did not seem like a friendly type: he was wearing black leather, which covered most of his body. Only his hands and parts of his legs were free from it's dark clutches, which made him an interesting sight.

The dwarf, on the other hand, was a complete opposite. First, he was short. He wore a hat and light clothes, which gave off a refined and „rich“ atmosphere. The dwarf had a paper scroll in his right hand which resembled a map, and his belt was littered with various tools: little picks, brushes, and such.

Meanwhile, the human female was a mage, or at least was skilled in those arts, since she was responsible for the bright light -or more precisely, the fire- that floated above her palm. The fire was lifted high and held in front of the trio, so that they could see further ahead. The female had long, raven hair resting on her shoulders; and had a serious -even dark- expression on her face, but she could still be considered beautiful, of course. She wore dark robes with no markings or distinguishable features. You could even say they looked plain.

„The treasure should be at the end of this chamber. It better be worth the trouble I went through to get this map,“ the dwarf mumbled as the three went deeper into the huge chamber.

His companions remained silent and they continued onward.

As the light from the mage's conjured fire illuminated the chamber, the three noticed something interesting. The whole floor was littered with various bones of the deceased, most of whom were armed, as there were a lot of weapon and armor parts -or rather, their remains- strewn about. It looked like all of it had been there for a while, since the gear was rusted through and not much remained. The same could be said about the dead. The three also noticed that the ground was burned in various places. In addition, the huge pillars, whose neat order created an obvious path toward the other end of the chamber, were all scarred and covered in strange drawings and runes.

„You think the warnings given by the witch were true?“ the female asked, as she checked the markings on one of the pillars.

„Bah! There's nothing to be scared of, whatever was guarding this place died off a long time ago. Those were just delusional snivelings of a dying old hag," the dwarf replied, "Now let's continue further. I can almost smell the money I'll be making out of this place."

And thus, the two went toward the other end of the chamber, stepping over the remains of the long forgotten. The troll, on the other hand, took a little longer as he investigated the pillars and the dead on the floor, only to pick up a skull that looked surprisingly similar to that of a troll. He then dropped it to the ground and got up, walking toward his companions with a grin on his face.

As the three continued toward the far end of the chamber, swimming through the endless sea of the dead, they reached their destination: a huge door with a small hole in the middle of it. The door itself was littered with drawings, skulls being the most distinguishable one. But the most visible one was a huge drawing of what seemed like a throne, with a dark figure sitting in it. None of the figures characteristics could be picked out, except a big crown on his head and red shining rubies in place of its eyes. The drawing was right in the middle of the door, taking up most of its space. By the door lay two noticeable remains which caught the attention of the guests.

The remains were big -and I mean BIG- almost twenty times larger then our three companions. The broken down remains were winged and had a long skull with large fangs.

„Dragons,“ the female said.
„And by the looks of it, red dragons,“ the Dwarf said, lifting a red dragon scale, „Now I want to get into that treasure chamber even more.“

The three then approached the huge door, examining the drawings on it; or two to be precise, the two, since the troll had stood in front of it from the very beginning.

„I can feel magic coming from behind the door,“ the human said, „And it feels quite hostile.“
„I didn't pay you to complain," the dwarf said, taking out a strange object, "now shut up and let me through. It's time to claim my payment.“

The object almost looked like a knife, since it was shaped as one, but it was too thick and didn't look sharp at all (unless it was poorly taken care of). The knife seemed to be made out of bone, with skull ornaments carved on it's handle. The rude dwarf then inserted the strange knife in the key-hole that was in the middle of the door and turned, stepping back and waiting for what's to come next.

After the „key“ was inserted, the drawings on the door lit up in red, and after a while it slowly opened up with dark, thick mist coming from the widening gap. As the door completely opened and the light invaded its dark chambers, the three could finally peek at its content. The room was quite small, compared to the previous one. The only visible structure in it was a pedestal, marked with odd drawings and writings. On it lay a large object. As the intruders looked around the rest of the room, they noticed that the walls were also littered with drawings, accompanied by the same runes they saw in the previous room. The chamber itself was filled with all kinds of junk: books, strange contraptions, clothes, weapons, and even armor. In one of the corners stood a mannequin with an impressive-looking set of armor on it, which caught the eye of the greedy dwarf. The armor was surprisingly well made, with black plate shoulders shaped to look like claws, and a helm that was shaped like a human skull – more or less, since it's shape was a bit different. But what captured his eyes the most was the emblem on the front plates of the armor. The emblem itself did not look familiar, but it looked like the head of a horned beast.

„Bah! That's it? There's no treasure here, only junk!“ - the dwarf shouted and turned to the pedestal with the strange looking object on it. He slowly approached it. „There better be something valuable in there.“

The dwarf was stopped from his advance before he could reach his new-found destination by the female human.

„Boglar, stop! The pedestal is protected by strong magic, let me investigate first“ she said, and approached the pedestal.

„Make it quick Myriam“ the dwarf mumbled, eyeing her angerly.

The female lifted her free arm and closed her eyes, concentrating and standing still for a few moments. After that, Myriam suddenly opened her eyes and quickly moved her arm to the side, like she was ripping something open.

„Correction: previously strong magic. It's so old that only a shadow of it's former power remains. It was easy to dispel.“ the human explained.

Boglar then approached the pedestal and started examining it. The object was long and made out of dark metal. At one end, a face was shaped out, and the whole object was covered in unfamiliar runes.

„It seems to be some sort of a coffin“ he said, while walking around the object, „and by the looks of it, this whole place is a tomb. The treasures of the buried should be in the coffin, or it usually is,“ he said.

„Let's get back to the camp. We'll need more people to carry all this stuff.“ the dwarf said as he turned toward the entrance.

„I be stayin' here just in case“ the silent troll then replied, looking at the object which was identified as a coffin.

Boglar turned to the troll.

„This is probably the first time I heard you mutter a word Zal'jin. I liked you better when you were silent. Very well, you can remain here. Just don't even think of stealing anything,“ the dwarf said, and left the room with the female accompanying him.

After the two left, Zal'jin slowly approached the coffin and placed his hand on it.

„Finally, I be findin' you, master“ he whispered.
Going through this, some patterns are starting to emerge. You use a lot of informal and "improper" constructions, which makes the story seem more like a folktale. It reminds me of the tone my dad used to take telling bedtime stories. Other elements, like the constant asides and homophone mistakes, make it seem like you've been getting your English lessons from a child. You didn't grab somebody's kid, did you?

Edit: I think the word you wanted there at the end was "sarcophagus."
__________________
Every ending is but a new beginning.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 07-07-2011, 12:37 AM
Defiler Defiler is offline

Huntress
Defiler's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 48

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkAngel View Post
My apologies, Defiler, but there are so many changes I'd reccomend here that I can't keep track of them all. Instead, I will give you a glimpse of what the story could be. Maybe I'm just really bored...



Going through this, some patterns are starting to emerge. You use a lot of informal and "improper" constructions, which makes the story seem more like a folktale. It reminds me of the tone my dad used to take telling bedtime stories. Other elements, like the constant asides and homophone mistakes, make it seem like you've been getting your English lessons from a child. You didn't grab somebody's kid, did you?

Edit: I think the word you wanted there at the end was "sarcophagus."
well that was mean, your usual sense of superiority and thoughts of how things are "supposed to be" and are "correct" or "wrong" are just plain wrong. I don't care how the english writers or any writers for that matter think that stories should be written, what's right and wrong, because I decide what's right and wrong in my own story, since it's my world and my rules, it may have a lot of mistakes be it grammar or any other kind, but they are mine mistakes and are perfectly human, since all humans make mistakes. Well whatever, I'll try to skip the philosophical bullshit. Anyway, the one thing that sticks in my mind atm is "the illusion of knowing" that's what I'll stick to your name openly from now on, as all of us tend to make this mistake.
__________________
Amateur lore writer..Got better suggestions?
PM for suggestions or comments. Or if you want an update on the story...

Last edited by Defiler; 07-21-2011 at 04:17 AM..
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 07-07-2011, 06:22 PM
DarkAngel DarkAngel is offline

Priestess of the Moon
DarkAngel's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Northwest Ohio
Posts: 569
BattleTag: Samael#1487

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Defiler View Post
well that was mean, your usual sense of superiority and thoughts of how things are "supposed to be" and are "correct" or "wrong" are just plain wrong. I don't care how the english writers or any writers for that matter thing that stories should be written, what's right and wrong, because I decide what's right and wrong in my own story, since it's my world and my rules, it may ave a lot of mistakes be it grammar or any other kind, but they are mine mistakes and are perfectly human, since all humans make mistakes. Well whatever, I'll try to skip the philosophical bullshit. Anyway, the one thing that sticks in my mind atm is "the illusion of knowing" that's what I'll stick to your name openly from now on, as all of us ten to make this mistake.
I will take this as an indication that you decline further editing of your work. Write as you will.
__________________
Every ending is but a new beginning.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 01-11-2012, 12:42 PM
Defiler Defiler is offline

Huntress
Defiler's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 48

Default

The return of the Forgotten, part 3


Arrival



The three traveled for days without stopping, passing forests and deserts (one desert to be precise). They were about to leave the last encountered forest, before reaching their goal - Graytown, a medium size town, belonging to the Benlor kingdom. (we'll get to that later). Surprisingly, in all those days of travel the party did not exchange stories or talk at all, except a few short phrases thrown in by Myriam, as she unknowingly spoke her thoughts aloud.

Noticing the three's formation we see Sitrim walking in the middle - being slightly ahead of the rest, with Myriam on his left, who was as always lost in her thoughts and Zal'jin on the right, with his head held low, obediently following his master.

With the three continuing as such, Sitrim was busy looking at a river, which was running right beside the road they were using. But what caught his attention was not the river itself, but the logs that were floating down stream, to the opposite direction then the three were going, and their number seemed to be infinite with one log after another floating for hours without stop.

With Sitrims gaze preoccupied on such a view, it finally found the source – on the other side of the river, mills were stationed, with lumberjacks swarming around like ants, occupied with the matters of their own little world. Once he observed all that, Sitrim, closed his eyes for a moment and diverted his eyes from such a view, changing his object of observation from the lumber mills, to the road that he was using.

And this is when Myriam, that came back from her thoughts just at the right moment, noticed a slight look of dissatisfaction on Sitrims face. She looked around to find the source of it and soon noticed the lumber mills, deciding that the objects at hand have the highest possibility of being the reason for Sitrims dissatisfaction in her opinion. After finding a new thing to think about, she ventured back into the halls of her mind, and continued onwards lost in thought again.


As they left the forest, their destination revealed itself to them. What stood in front was Graytown – a town surrounded by blackened stone walls with gray smoke coming from behind them. As the three approached the towns’ walls, Sitrim noticed activity near the opened main gates with caravans and plenty of travelers going in and out of the town. He slowed down and gazed sharply at the moving figures and seemed hesitant for some reason. Myriam noticed this and quickly realized the reason.

“Do not worry, such activity is normal these days. You should see what’s going in in the capitals of each kingdom” – she explained. – “let’s just try to mingle with the crowd and not stand out too much”


After the explanation Sitrim hastened his step and joined the movement of travelers, with his two followers at his side, quickly entering the town. As they walked deeper into it, Sitrim was busy looking around, noticing the three to four story buildings on the sides of the road they were using, and the figures that inhabited the town itself. For his surprise he noticed that there were multiple races living here, be it humans, trolls, dwarves or even strange humanoids with green skin and sharp fangs. He then turned to Myriam.


“To what race does this settlement belong? And what are those green humanoids called?” –he asked.

“Well the current landlord of Graytown is a High elf, but the town itself does not belong to one race. The races of Kalimdor intermingled after the defeat of the orc’s, who are those green humanoids you speak of. They were summoned from their home planet of Draenor by a magician a hundred years ago, to carry out the Burning Legions bidding and weaken or even take over Azeroth” – Myriam explained – “We’ll get into all that some other time. I’ll explain the current situation in Kalimdor, but let’s go check into an inn and rest for the time being”

“Very well” – Sitrim replied.

The three then went towards the east end of the town, with Myriam leading the two. They walked through narrow passages between the three-story houses, going deeper and deeper into the dark corners of the town, only to reach a rundown two-story inn. The sign on it said “The rotten limb”.

“Here we go. Not the most prestigious inn in town, but since the owner owes me a favor, the stay will be free and we will be able to avoid unwelcome attention” – Myriam said and entered the inn, with Sitrim and Zal’jin behind her.

“Fend! Two rooms for me and my friends here” – Myriam shouted after entering the inn.
“Ah, Myriam! Long time-no-see” – a voice replied from the shadows behind the reception table. And soon after, a deformed goblin limped out of the shadow. Just looking at the goblin would give you an awkward feeling as he was all twisted and just plain unpleasant to look at. Even his walking felt awkward. – “There’s actually two rooms free, you’re in luck. One’s on the second floor and the other one is below” – Fend explained, while pointing his fat middle finger towards the floor (not like he himself was fat.)

“Very well, we’ll take them” – Myriam replied and turned to her companions. - “Ok then, I’ll take the room on the second floor and you two can stay together in the basement room. Have a nice night” – She then said and went upstairs, leaving the two near the entrance of the inn.

“I be sorry for her insolence my master. If master wishes so, I be teachin’ her the proper way to address you” – Zal’jin then whispered to Sitrim.
“No need. Her knowledge of the present state of Kalimdor is still a must. I do not wish to be recognized as of yet” – Sitrim replied and walked towards the staircase, leading to the basement.

Once Sitrim reached the mentioned room, which he did not need to search for, as the basement contained only one living space, he looked around his plain looking new home. It contained only one bed, a chair and a table, but had enough space for ten people to stay in. He then walked towards the bed and lied down, without taking his armor off, and with his sword, still sheathed within the scabbard lying next to hm. Zal’jin on the other hand sat down near the entrance to the room and remained so, half asleep, half on guard.


In the meantime Myriam did not go to sleep, once she reached her room. She quickly dropped her backpack on her bed and started searching its contents.

“Sitrim, Sitrim…I know I heard that name somewhere before” – She murmured to herself while searching – “I think it was…in the times of the second crisis”

She took out book after book from her strangely small bag (how does she fit all that in there?) and after a few more moments of searching she leaned back with a large book, with thick black covers in her hands.

“Ah, I think it’s this one!” – Myriam expressed her joy out loud.

She quickly placed the book on the only table in the room and started browsing through the pages of it, quickly turning page after page, with her finger moving through its content, indicating the fearsome speed in which she is able to read. (what fearsome skills indeed) As she reached the middle of the book Myriams finger suddenly stopped. The female human stood there with her gaze fixed on one spot in the book and after a few moments she fell helplessly to a chair that stood right behind her.

“I knew he had something to do with those times…but I never imagined…”- She whispered to herself and got lost in thoughts, with the book left alone on the table, with a sinister truth written in it, that even managed to surprise this bookworm of a human.

And so Myriam remained for the rest of the night. Remaining so on the chair with no movement in sight, deep in her thoughts she was lost, pondering on things of past, present and future.
__________________
Amateur lore writer..Got better suggestions?
PM for suggestions or comments. Or if you want an update on the story...
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:35 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions Inc.