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Old 10-27-2010, 09:14 PM
Exxile87 Exxile87 is offline

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Default Exxile is building a fantasy world so he can write a novel!

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I've decided to try my hand at writing a fantasy novel set in an original world. Before I do this, though, I figured I should build the world first. My biggest problem when writing recently has been keeping my stories within someone else's world. If I make my own world, I'll have free reign. So here's what I have so far and I submit it to you all hoping you can help me deepen this new world I've fallen in love with.


To begin, I shall describe the planet itself. The world is called Isilland. There are five continents, but only the larger two are known to be populated. The first is called Mhyrr. Mhyrr is the largest of the continents and is a temperate climate. To the northeastern part of the continent is the Kodan Forest. It is said this is the realm of the great bear god Arcius. His followers, known as the Ursans, left human society centuries ago in search of a more natural lifestyle. Recently, these humans have made contact with their cousins. Some things have changed

The western edge of Mhyrr is a mountainous region known as the Dwarfs Knuckles. Here, the dwarves, along with their cousins the gnomes and a group of technologically progressive minded humans have established a fantastic kingdom they call the Mecharealm. Amazing technology has given them a unique lifestyle that many other races are distrustful of. Luckily, accidents are as rare as they are severe.

The southern region is separated into three areas. One is called the Steam Vale. It is a lush rain forest filled with exotic creatures and home to the Rakash, a tribe of trolls that practice dark necromancy and worship their dark god Marlee, and their cannibalistic slaves, the black orcs. Its a very dangerous place to be if you are made of any amount of edible flesh.

The next area is simply called the Swamps. Here you will find yourself in a basin in the shadow of the Steam Vale. Trapped in the bottom of a depression caused by a comet colliding with Isilland in a time forgotten, the runoff waters from the Steam Vale have collected and festered, forming the large Swamps. You wont find much here except for a few groups of orcs and the Boggles, a race made by the cross breeding of the ogres and trolls that once lived here. While their ancestors have since been bred out, the Boggles have adapted to life in the Swamps and defend it with all they are worth.

The third area of southern Mhyrr is referred to as the Dune. The Dune is a desert formed between the southernmost end of the Dwarfs Knuckle Mountains and the Albanic Sea. Not much to say; its desert populated by pygmy gnomes and a primitive tribe of humans called the Azzies.

The far northern zone is called the Snowcap and is thought to be the roof of the world. Here you will find the hardy race of the Yorgarr. They are the masters of this inhospitable land and are always willing to help adventure seeking visitors find their way around this frozen wasteland. However, it is said the Yorgarr are beholden to an ancient evil. Few people they help are ever heard from again.

And finally, we come to the central portion of Mhyrr, the lands of the human kingdoms. Long ago, there were several wars fought for control of the massive Mhyrran kingdom, but all that was accomplished was the splintering of the once great empire. Now the seven nations of man are at peace with each other, though the occasional quarrel breaks out at the borders of some of the countries.


Next, let us take a look at the major human kingdoms.

The Kingdom of Mhyrr is the largest human nation, and also the wealthiest and most politically influential. Their king is Carrow Tavington the Wise. He has led the kingdom for forty years and is greatly loved by his people. His son, the crown prince Lordis Tavington is set to take his place on the throne and is equally loved by all. This kingdom is held in high regards by the other six.

The second kingdom is caller Arkadis. This kingdom has the most powerful human armed forces, and their military schools have produced the greatest men and women that have ever fought in any human war. They follow a strict code of conduct and are led by the Priest-king Christoff Godsword. Arkadins are the most religious of all the human kingdoms and the central headquarters of the human Church of the One God are located here. It is because of this fact that Arkadis has strengthened their military so; not only must they guard themselves, but they believe it is their holy duty to defend the one place on Isilland that their God dwells.

The third kingdom of man is called Xin. Led by the Fao dynasty for generations, the Xin are intensely religious and are constantly seeking balance in all things. These spiritual people seek enlightenment above all else and eschew amounting wealth or military might. They see the kingdoms of Mhyrr and Arkadis as indulgent and unworthy of the position they are in. A double-minded people, the Xin see themselves as the ultimate example of how a country should be run and feel they deserve to be in power. Nevertheless, the Xin have produced the mighty warrior-priests called the Xylar and have helped turn the tides in the wars between the humans and the troll/orc armies. A single group or Xylar are able to use their spiritual powers to destroy their enemies from miles away.

The remaining four kingdoms are very small and are mainly home to the farmers and workers that produce and export most of the foods and goods that the three larger kingdoms have grown dependent upon. We could spend our time learning about them, however all that is important at this juncture is their names: Saloam, Gelderland, Egren, and Kivcha.

That's all for tonight. I'm writing this all up from the notebooks I've been filling for a few months now. Tomorrow I'll post about the other races and religions found on Mhyrr and then I'll add in the stuff about the other populated continent. I've tried not to take too much from other fantasy realms, but I'm sure you all will pick up on the things I've adopted from LotR, DnD, and Warcraft. I wanna make this a grand world, and my first novel is already in the rough draft phase. I've got about 170 pages and the story is just starting to take shape, so I have a lot to work on. Please tell me what you think and help me make my dream of becoming a published fantasy novelist a reality.

Last edited by Exxile87; 10-28-2010 at 06:52 AM..
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Old 10-27-2010, 09:22 PM
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The first two remind me of Athens and Sparta. Pretty interesting.

Create a world require a lot of energy. I think before further development, you can decide what will your story mainly focus on, so you'll know what part of the world(magic? politics? character?) will you mostly spend time on.
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Old 10-27-2010, 09:30 PM
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Heh, reminds me of me ~4 years ago. Starting with a "bottom up" style of writing, with the world coming first, is a really, really fun endeavor but it'll take a while for you to actually come up with enough conflict and characters for a novel. Still, it's amazing if you can dedicate the time, so keep at it.
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Old 10-28-2010, 06:52 AM
Exxile87 Exxile87 is offline

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Now lets look at the non-human countries and cultures found on Mhyrr.

In the deep reaches of the Kodan Forest one will encounter the Ursans. The Ursans make their home in the shadow of Arcius Paw, an enormous tree said to be the stairway to the realm of the great bear god Arcius. Arcius is said to have given all living beings the gift of honor, courage, and aggression. He is known as the god of war, but to his followers hes considered the protector of home and hearth; he is the rage one feels when their loved ones are threatened as well as the pride felt when one sees all they have to be thankful for. It was for this reason that a large part of the original Mhyrran empire separated themselves from the central human society and settled in the Kodan Forests. There, the earliest settlers encountered their god in the mortal realm.

Arcius watched these humans as they began to establish their society. Opposed to the arcane magics their fellow humans were embracing to the southwest, the humans that would soon become Ursans sought out a more basic, rugged, and natural life. They made their homes in the great caves and at the bases of the mighty oaks in the Kodan Forest and lived off the land. This pleased Arcius greatly. He revealed himself to the Ursans in a human form. He told them of the pleasure he felt as he had watched them, and how their worship was the most devoted and true he had ever been given. He offered to bless the humans as his chosen followers. The humans, elated to have pleased their ursine deity, readily accepted.

Arcius placed his blessing on the humans, granting them the ability to assume the form a anthropomorphic bear. The Ursan are able to remain in their human forms for the times they need to deal with other beings, and retain their own minds and identities as well. However, while in their bear forms, the Ursans are the living embodiment of the aspects of Arcius spirit. Their strength is increased, as well as their ferocity and aggression. All Ursan are warrior from birth, though the practices of shamanism and druidism are not uncommon to them.

Each tribe of Ursan is small, usually made up of a few families living together in their caves and dens. The strongest Ursan, regardless of gender, is called an Urzar and is responsible for settling any disputes that arise between members of the family. They also lead their families to the semi-annual meetings held at Arcius Paw where the Ursan commune directly with Arcius for a period of several days.

In addition to the Urzar, a shaman or druid acts as the spiritual leader of the families. These Ursan are able to communicate with Aricus, as well as the elemental forces that govern the natural world. There is little distinction between a shaman and a druid in the Ursan culture; while the shaman has a more direct line to the elemental spirits, a druid deals more with the spirits of the forest. An Ursan druid has the ability to commune not just with the elements, but also with the very souls of all living things. As part of Arcius gift to the Ursan, they are tasked with maintaining the balance in the Kodan Forest.

Ursan avoid arcane magic at all costs. Their ancestors left human society in protest to the adaptation of the arcane into their society, and as such the Ursan forbid its use in any form. Arcane magic mocks natural forces and is capable of destroying, but not restoring and the Ursan, ever seeking to keep a balance between nature and society, have rejected the practice.

Among the Ursan, you will find very basic metal working and smithing. While the Ursan do not war with each other, they do have enemies in their forests. Their battles against the forest trolls, the orcs that dwell under the, earth and the mysterious dark elves of the mountain they call Vegarn have helped the Ursan develop armor and weapons that suit their larger size while in the form of Arcius. These suits of armor are simply, usually consisting of a breastplate, greaves to protect the Ursans thighs, shoulder guards, and plates to protect their powerful forearms. The Ursans preferred weapon is a set of large steel claws worn as a glove on each hand, though they also make swords, axes, spears, and heavy hammers similar to those used by their human cousins.

The gift of Arcius is not without its drawbacks. When in their bear form, Ursans must struggle to control a primal rage that builds over time. When their emotions become heightened (in combat especially, though any stressful situation can trigger it) and Ursan become extremely aggressive and will lash out at what he or she perceives as a threat. While this aggression is valued by the Ursan, any disputes that arise must be handled carefully. The greatest transgression in the Ursan culture is to kill a fellow Ursan outside of the ritualized duels that must be sanctioned by the Urzars. Any individual who lets his wilder side get the better of him and strikes down a fellow Ursan is taken before the Urzar and the familys chief shaman or druid. A ritual is performed that removes from them the blessing of Arcius and they become human once more. They are then executed and eaten by the tribe and their skull is given to the family of the Ursan they murdered as a trophy. Murder is a very rare occurrence in Ursan society.

Recently, the Ursan have made contact with the human kingdom of Mhyrr. The orcs, troll, and dark elves have begun striking at Ursan holdings with alarming regularity. These attacks are unprovoked, but not unanswered. Rumors of war are rising, and the Ursans, outnumbered by their enemies, are said to be seeking an alliance against the triple front of foes they face. The times are changing for the Ursan, and they very well be forced to end their isolation and open their forest home to outsiders if they are to come out of this conflict with their culture and people intact.

Its pretty obvious that the Ursan are my pet race, but I assure you that the other races (excluding humans, because I'm using the traditional method of having them follow real world human culture) will receive histories and cultures just as detailed as this one.
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Old 10-28-2010, 07:03 AM
Ashendant Ashendant is offline

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Yes, i have 3 of these world building ideas... still building still pretty hard

EDIT: It's not really world building is more of universe building i skip the whole world thing and designed realities

I use wiki on a stick to help me make a small wiki of my own ideas

I like your ideas, but i feel like you used too much of the same ideas, used everywhere.
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Old 10-28-2010, 07:51 AM
Exxile87 Exxile87 is offline

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Originally Posted by Ashendant View Post
Yes, i have 3 of these world building ideas... still building still pretty hard

EDIT: It's not really world building is more of universe building i skip the whole world thing and designed realities

I use wiki on a stick to help me make a small wiki of my own ideas

I like your ideas, but i feel like you used too much of the same ideas, used everywhere.
How so? I get that there's not much originality left in the world and that I will be unable to avoid using ideas and themes found in all fantasy realms, but what do you feel I used that's too common?
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Old 10-28-2010, 10:35 AM
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Worldbuild requires excellent note taking. I've got an external HD reserved for my notes in addition to a filing cabinet I keep hard copies on.

Part of my worldbuilding experience really made me respect Blizzard's CDev, though. Case in point: I decided to change the name of my "wood elves" to just "Elves" and my former "high elves" became "fey", yet I noticed in a few of my stories I still called them high elves. I'm just one man and I missed something like that- imagine just how complicated it is to reign in all that lore when you've got multiple writers AND you're also keeping in mind gameplay?
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Old 10-28-2010, 10:44 AM
Ashendant Ashendant is offline

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How so? I get that there's not much originality left in the world and that I will be unable to avoid using ideas and themes found in all fantasy realms, but what do you feel I used that's too common?
I don't know maybe it's the names

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Originally Posted by Omacron View Post
Worldbuild requires excellent note taking. I've got an external HD reserved for my notes in addition to a filing cabinet I keep hard copies on.

Part of my worldbuilding experience really made me respect Blizzard's CDev, though. Case in point: I decided to change the name of my "wood elves" to just "Elves" and my former "high elves" became "fey", yet I noticed in a few of my stories I still called them high elves. I'm just one man and I missed something like that- imagine just how complicated it is to reign in all that lore when you've got multiple writers AND you're also keeping in mind gameplay?
Yes notes are a big problem to me, i hardly do it because it gets very hard to put on paper for me.

However i skipped the whole wood/high elf and decided my elves would still with somekind of school faction stereotypes taken to extremes
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Old 10-28-2010, 10:52 AM
Exxile87 Exxile87 is offline

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Originally Posted by Omacron View Post
Worldbuild requires excellent note taking. I've got an external HD reserved for my notes in addition to a filing cabinet I keep hard copies on.

Part of my worldbuilding experience really made me respect Blizzard's CDev, though. Case in point: I decided to change the name of my "wood elves" to just "Elves" and my former "high elves" became "fey", yet I noticed in a few of my stories I still called them high elves. I'm just one man and I missed something like that- imagine just how complicated it is to reign in all that lore when you've got multiple writers AND you're also keeping in mind gameplay?
I tend to use the more traditional fantasy names for simplicity's sake. Its just easier that way. In an earlier draft, my trolls had a different name, but ended up being, well, trolls. My Ursans were orginally called Kodans, but I liked that name better for for their forest. My orcs are more like a combination of the goblins and orcs from Lord of the Rings and the murlocs from WoW; they're intelligent and brutal, but are the slaves of the more intelligent and brutal trolls. My Gorgons are an amalgamation of the WoW naga, the Gorgons from Greek mythology, and a splash of C'thullu thrown in. I'm not doing much different with elves apart from removing the general fantasy theme of tying them to rangers and nature; my dark elves are the foremost necromancers and my high elves are atheist, hedonistic wizards. I'm trying for a good mix of of traditional fantasy and new ideas. A steam punk society where dwarves, gnomes, and humans coexist to advance technology? I don't think that's been done before.
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Old 10-28-2010, 11:34 AM
Nozdormu Nozdormu is offline

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I created a huuuuuuge world some time ago, but Ive never found the time to actually write something big other than short stories, summaries of happenings and notes...
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Old 10-28-2010, 11:52 AM
Lon-ami Lon-ami is offline

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I actually have my own world, too, a sick mirror dimensional image of our current times, where heaven and hell are just a matter of opinion.

In that far, but still close, war between blue and red, a new being emerges, determined to balance the situation with the supremacy of a never ending glowing yellow sun.

This being will search 11 castes of empowered adimensional humans, creating the circle of the most powerful elite that walks across the 6 worlds, to, with the excuse of protecting the existence, clean its path to supreme dominance, uniting all that is and preparing the ring for the other existences that lie beyond itself.

Ambiguous, eh? I won't get into any details, since I'll make this go true when I have the resources. Just say I mix everything into a single thing, from fantasy to terror and from science to paranormality.

Even more translated: Guys kicking asses in a seriously disturbing, senseless and weird setting, where nothing is what it seems, there's too many people that know the truth and they aren't alone as the only empowered agents around.
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Old 10-28-2010, 01:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Lon-ami View Post
I actually have my own world, too, a sick mirror dimensional image of our current times, where heaven and hell are just a matter of opinion.

In that far, but still close, war between blue and red, a new being emerges, determined to balance the situation with the supremacy of a never ending glowing yellow sun.

This being will search 11 castes of empowered adimensional humans, creating the circle of the most powerful elite that walks across the 6 worlds, to, with the excuse of protecting the existence, clean its path to supreme dominance, uniting all that is and preparing the ring for the other existences that lie beyond itself.

Ambiguous, eh? I won't get into any details, since I'll make this go true when I have the resources. Just say I mix everything into a single thing, from fantasy to terror and from science to paranormality.

Even more translated: Guys kicking asses in a seriously disturbing, senseless and weird setting, where nothing is what it seems, there's too many people that know the truth and they aren't alone as the only empowered agents around.
Usually I get pissed off when people advertise their fantasy worlds, because it sounds like they think that they are special and should get credit for something almost every fantasy fan does.

But I have to admit, Lon-ami, that sounds intriguing. If I read that on the back of a book in a bookshop it is different enough that I'd buy it. As soon as a setting has orcs, elves or anything like that, I switch off and will never touch it.
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Old 10-28-2010, 02:02 PM
Lon-ami Lon-ami is offline

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Originally Posted by Timolas View Post
Usually I get pissed off when people advertise their fantasy worlds, because it sounds like they think that they are special and should get credit for something almost every fantasy fan does.

But I have to admit, Lon-ami, that sounds intriguing. If I read that on the back of a book in a bookshop it is different enough that I'd buy it. As soon as a setting has orcs, elves or anything like that, I switch off and will never touch it.
I try to avoid generic stuff like orcs and elves and whatnot. I don't want that, not in my universe.

I'm even still undecided about the demons/angels part, and dunno if I'll end removing them or replacing them by something less generic. I already tried to make them "different" by having angels be guys that get "balance" by manipulating and burning everything without leaving evidences, while demons get the "balance" with chaos to trigger responses, and always leave proof of what happened. In that sense, angels are somewhat fire, and could be more related to the traditional hell, while demons are ice, and are more related to, well, no idea xDDD. My point is that the concept of angel/demon, and thus good/evil, is shit, and pure propaganda by each side.

The being has a lot of "plan b" personality, just like my old days at Ludditia, but more subtly and less "imba". You can kick its ass, but it's a bastard and will probably find some benefit to whatever you do to it, even being killed. It's that kind of annoying half-troll guy, that uses that immature facade to hide its mysterious plans. In the end, its power lies in that, when you don't expect it, it gives you the key to the connection to a series of unrelated events, and you realize it owned you. Or maybe it's just making it up. In the end, it wants balance, too, but, if the other forces get it by suggested chaos and forced order, which is basically black and white, 0 and 1, - and +, then, what will be this being's way of proceeding?

It has a lot of "break the cycle" elements, too. Those forces are red and blue. Our guy steps in, and it says "hey, red-blue, yellow's missing!". It's going to fuck up the universe.

Hell, I scare myself by reading this senseless things. You start to get it, I think. You probably don't understand half of this, because I'm hiding things in purpose to avoid spoiling the story, and in the process, I'm acting just like that being would act; more or less.

I guess you understand the deepest philosophy of this now. What comes next is more personal, and everyone could have its interpretation on how to represent this "setting".

I'll tell you stuff about the "intro".

Our being gets people. This people is destined to be part of that organization, the 11. It works it out in pairs. Those pairs don't need female/male relationship, and the race doesn't matter. Just persons. The powers... let's say "awakened" to both members of that pair are opposite forces, just like red and blue, and by communion and team-work, a pair of weaklings that is being literally thrown to beasts of a strange world will manage to survive, endure and, by working together, make that 3rd element born between them.

That process is easy at the beginning. The being sends them to fight stuff. Weird stuff. I want my own paranormal/fantasy/scifi/terror elements around, but I'll try to get that "balance" feeling out in a different way, with a different procedure, so the result is new and not just another fantasy/scifi setting.

After that, the real problems should start, but I haven't thought deeply about that, yet.

Now info about those "guys" that make up the "11":

Each one has a series of "elements" in its personalities. For example, one could have land, and the opposite water. Like that, it's pretty simple and, well, "meh". That's why there's a lot of those opposite "properties" inside each of those guys, making them really unique.

For example, one could be the darkest hour of night, the shadow of death, and its opposite the light of day that brings life to the world. Stuff like that, still need to find a way to explain myself better.

Those guys that make the "11" have a distinctive "feature". I haven't a proper name yet, so I just call them "links" (spanish for Nexo, which is actually cooler, duh xDDD, maybe I could call them "nexuses"). These nexuses are a sort of tendrils that originate in the head, and grow when a certain power is acquired. They have a number, that indicates "something", be it power, status, range... that's to be revealed through the history.

But they're an important thing. They're invisible when the 11's don't wear their "armors", that is a sort of armor that grows with them from their nexuses.

Whatever, it's goddamn late, so I leave this here. Interpret it as you want, I'll try to write something more coherent for tomorrow xDDD.
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Old 10-28-2010, 02:06 PM
Ashendant Ashendant is offline

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Originally Posted by Timolas View Post
Usually I get pissed off when people advertise their fantasy worlds, because it sounds like they think that they are special and should get credit for something almost every fantasy fan does.

But I have to admit, Lon-ami, that sounds intriguing. If I read that on the back of a book in a bookshop it is different enough that I'd buy it. As soon as a setting has orcs, elves or anything like that, I switch off and will never touch it.
Now i'm going to sound like advertising company
I also want to say the basis
one of mine i think it's also very weird, it happens in a realm of a gigantic spanning metropolis painted with colours of depressing grey and dark inhabited by demons(no humans), fighting as for control of territories for thrills and sensations, living under the shadow of ever oppressive angels in their highest building of the metropolis, biology that makes absolutely no fucking sense(on purpose and with reasons), basicly demon, angels and eldritch horrors and lots of sex(because i might as well make one story about in place where sex makes no sense(since biology makes no sense too))

EDIT: now i feel bad because i'm derailing exile topic and his worldbuilding attempt

Meh might as well tell the other 5 main concepts

1st idea:Fantasy world and the struggles of a utopian empire
2nd idea:zombie apocalypse with weird psychics in the future turns into absolute extreme future sci-fi story of fights between immortal god races
(i originally planned to be more like resident evil but i ended with mythology, sci-fi and warhammer 40k mix...)
3rd idea:1st world:superhero teenager in a city where villains and hero fights for entertainment of the rest of the world
:2nd world:the mentioned angel demons thing above
:3rd world:mechanized system of programs
these last 3 worlds share the same universe even trough they are in different dimensions that work differently
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Old 10-28-2010, 02:34 PM
Timolas Timolas is offline


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That actually sounds promising as well, Ashendant, as long as I can connect to the characters as a reader I guess. Keep it up.

My own fantasy world has had some stumbling blocks because I started making it when I was about twelve, and back then there was obviously a lot less need to be original.

So it was based off of good vs evil, but in the past two years I've scrapped that idea and used the idea of Dark vs Light. The twist would be that the characters fighting for the 'Light' realise that they are being ordered to do horrific things while the Dark is only being persecuted for differences in culture and beliefs. Then the characters actually join the Dark and see the story from that point of view. But ultimately, nobody wins and everyone loses.

I wanted to introduce the elements of philosophy I study at school - I've had many different ideas.
Such as, perhaps, the idea that the Light's ultimate goal is to try and ascend to a higher reality, dragging the world with them into a new spiritual plane. The leaders of the Light tried that before on their own homeworld, but it drove almost all of their species mad in a Lovecraftian way. So they are trying to find a new way to ascend to a higher existence, using humans as tools.

Anyway, those are some of my concepts. This is the first time I am sharing them, and I hope I don't see them pop up in someone else's fantasy book.
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Old 10-28-2010, 02:37 PM
Ashendant Ashendant is offline

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That actually sounds promising as well, Ashendant, as long as I can connect to the characters as a reader I guess. Keep it up.
If you can connect to the characters in the angels and demons world you are a very sick bastard
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Old 10-28-2010, 02:39 PM
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I read the title as "Let's all build a fantasy world so we can write a novel!". I am disappoint.

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Old 10-28-2010, 02:43 PM
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I tend to use the more traditional fantasy names for simplicity's sake. Its just easier that way. In an earlier draft, my trolls had a different name, but ended up being, well, trolls. My Ursans were orginally called Kodans, but I liked that name better for for their forest. My orcs are more like a combination of the goblins and orcs from Lord of the Rings and the murlocs from WoW; they're intelligent and brutal, but are the slaves of the more intelligent and brutal trolls. My Gorgons are an amalgamation of the WoW naga, the Gorgons from Greek mythology, and a splash of C'thullu thrown in. I'm not doing much different with elves apart from removing the general fantasy theme of tying them to rangers and nature; my dark elves are the foremost necromancers and my high elves are atheist, hedonistic wizards. I'm trying for a good mix of of traditional fantasy and new ideas. A steam punk society where dwarves, gnomes, and humans coexist to advance technology? I don't think that's been done before.

My elves are a combination of Qing era china coupled with the "Great leap forward" and modern china's population crisis. You basically have a bunch of nature-controlling cannibals who just had a very bloody populist revolution and are restructuring their society in very strict ways... while also in a two-pronged war against the Merfolk, who are kind of like WoW's naga (though they look more like LoZ's Zora) with a culture similar to Imperial Japan, and the Fey, who I can only describe as "Corporate air pirates with the mentality of the 'four asian tigers'.



EDIT: But to give you an example of how shit will change over time: originally my undead had a far more magical theme, but I decided to give them a more "mad science" deal with the event that created the undead somewhat analogous to Nikola Tesla's Tunguska Experiment.
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Old 10-28-2010, 02:56 PM
Ashendant Ashendant is offline

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My elves are a combination of Qing era china coupled with the "Great leap forward" and modern china's population crisis. You basically have a bunch of nature-controlling cannibals who just had a very bloody populist revolution and are restructuring their society in very strict ways... while also in a two-pronged war against the Merfolk, who are kind of like WoW's naga (though they look more like LoZ's Zora) with a culture similar to Imperial Japan, and the Fey, who I can only describe as "Corporate air pirates with the mentality of the 'four asian tigers'.



EDIT: But to give you an example of how shit will change over time: originally my undead had a far more magical theme, but I decided to give them a more "mad science" deal with the event that created the undead somewhat analogous to Nikola Tesla's Tunguska Experiment.
Yeah my elves are far more stupid

-Sun-worshipper Knight Templars with a fanaticism for muscle
-Former slaves grow spoiled after their former underwater masters are killed by the dark one, and become very pompous and shallow
-technocratic ice elves that slowly change their body to robotic ones eventually building golem bodies around themselves
-Dark elves live in a highly rational society, that his entirely homosexual because they found out that was the best way to control birthing, also very smart, depressing and brooding
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Old 10-28-2010, 04:35 PM
Exxile87 Exxile87 is offline

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So far, I've gleaned that my setting inferior and uninteresting. Alright then, pulling the trigger. Thanks guys.

This thread is now about posting random ass pictures about stupid, disjointed shit because apparently that's all this fucking forum can handle these day.
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Old 10-28-2010, 04:40 PM
Bolvar Bolvar is offline

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Don't go all emo about it.

Shit, I haven't even read it yet. Mostly because I'm working on my own novel and I don't want to accidentally steal your idea.

You want my opinion? There's like four people on this board who are qualified to critique writing - go lurk in the Fan Fic section, you'll find out who they are. Seek their opinion, take their criticism constructively, and then get better.

1,000 words a day. That's what it takes to be a writer. It's a big damned commitment.

Whatever you do, don't be a fucking pussy and give up.
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Old 10-28-2010, 04:49 PM
Ashendant Ashendant is offline

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Don't go all emo about it.

Shit, I haven't even read it yet. Mostly because I'm working on my own novel and I don't want to accidentally steal your idea.

You want my opinion? There's like four people on this board who are qualified to critique writing - go lurk in the Fan Fic section, you'll find out who they are. Seek their opinion, take their criticism constructively, and then get better.

1,000 words a day. That's what it takes to be a writer. It's a big damned commitment.

Whatever you do, don't be a fucking pussy and give up.
I can't write 1000 words a day but i probably should... that's actually a good plan...

Anyway don't feel demotivated because someone else story seems superior, just keep on thinking and keep on deepening your story, that's how you make it interesting
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Old 10-28-2010, 04:56 PM
jjstraka jjstraka is offline

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Don't get discouraged if there is alot of stuff that seems similar to other fantasy novels. In Fantasy fiction, (like most music) all one really wants and expects is a resonably entertaining facsimile of what has come before it. You don't need it to be trancendent, just go with what is interesting to you.
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Old 10-28-2010, 06:21 PM
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So far, I've gleaned that my setting inferior and uninteresting. Alright then, pulling the trigger. Thanks guys.

This thread is now about posting random ass pictures about stupid, disjointed shit because apparently that's all this fucking forum can handle these day.
I knew I should have addressed you directly too. I didn't actually read much of what you wrote, because again, I am hostile to aspiring fantasy writers, maybe because of the idea of competition on one hand - but mostly because I think the idea of someone being a writer should be earned.

Your setting isn't something you should abandon - I was not referring to you when I said I don't read things with orcs and elves, generally. The only reason I critiqued Lon-ami and Ashendant was because they caught my idea with a sci-fi approach.

Besides, would you really stop writing because of the opinions of a few people you run into? When Tolkien published Lord of the Rings, it was not received very well and was considered boring and too full of elves. It was the hippies who first made it popular, much to Tolkien's dismay.

Should he have stopped writing forever when he first got negative opinions during a reading session?

And you haven't even received negative feedback!

Plus, I like your Ursans. I just don't support the elves - if you want my own opinion (which shouldn't decide anything, as it is just an amateur opinion) I'd simply replace the elves with something else.
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Old 10-28-2010, 06:28 PM
jjstraka jjstraka is offline

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I find your Ursan society interesting as well. I like especially like what happens when one murders another, and what the punishment is. You could make a quarter of a book about that alone.
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