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  #51  
Old 07-09-2010, 04:40 PM
Bolvar Bolvar is offline

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Sorry to say it, but youve kinda lost that wit the earlier posts had. Youve made it more of a normal story than that char point of view that made it funny. I hope you see what I mean
Hmm... I was sure the jokes about the absurd outland armor styles and the preponderance of death knights in Hellfire would hit the right note.

Ah, well. I have another update coming soon....
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  #52  
Old 07-09-2010, 04:51 PM
Exxile87 Exxile87 is offline

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Hmm... I was sure the jokes about the absurd outland armor styles and the preponderance of death knights in Hellfire would hit the right note.

Ah, well. I have another update coming soon....
I like it. It's still quite funny, but you can tell that you like your main character a lot more now than you seemed to when you first started writing it. That's not a bad thing, by the way. True, the sarcasm is a bit toned down, but again, it's a very original and enjoyable read. Props to you.
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Old 07-09-2010, 05:00 PM
Bolvar Bolvar is offline

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I like it. It's still quite funny, but you can tell that you like your main character a lot more now than you seemed to when you first started writing it. That's not a bad thing, by the way. True, the sarcasm is a bit toned down, but again, it's a very original and enjoyable read. Props to you.
The thing is, the character has to grow a bit, too. He's still going to screw up. He's still going to get his butt kicked. And he's still going to need a lot of help.

But he can't go from Elwynn to Icecrown doing nothing but internally monologuing about the funny and annoying things that come with being a mage. Sure, there's going to be some of that, but if the story is going to continue, the character has to evolve a little. I still expect him to be the clumsy, accidental hero... but I'm not going to keep him down forever. Then I'd just be writing the same story over and over again.
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Old 07-09-2010, 05:09 PM
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I woke up the next morning to someone knocking on the door of my room. I stumbled out of bed, threw on my robe, and opened the door.

Helga was standing there, in new robes shaded in varying crimson hues. She had her hands on her hips, and a serious look on her face.

Did you leave these on my doorstep? She gestured at the robes she was wearing.

I scratched my head and yawned. Yeah. The quartermaster owes me a few favors, and I figured they were about your size, so I thought

She nearly knocked me over as she rushed to hug me. Thank you. Thank you so much. I was dreading having to go before Khadgar and the Naaru in that other outfit.

Umm yeah, its no problem. Really. I can see how that would be pretty uncomfortable. Besides, you know, that robe goes really nice with your hair. Yeah. Im smooth.

She let me go and smiled, blushing just a bit. Well, next time ask about some pants. Ive still got to wear the thong under this thing. She winked and walked away.

Yep. It was going to be a good raid.

**

I finished getting dressed and walked downstairs. The team was sitting around the table enjoying the stew Mulch had made, and he was right it was the best thing any of us had eaten in a long time. I unrolled a crude map of the ramparts and gave them what little intelligence Trollbane had provided.

We know theres a large number of fel orcs on the first level to get past, and theres some indication that theres at least one demon on the second level. Aside from that, I really dont know what to expect.

Except for the dragon, of course, mentioned Orin.

Naturally.

Ive got something special for him. Youd better worry about the demon. I hear hes got felhounds.

Felhounds would be a problem, especially for me and Helga.

Martigan laughed. You let me and Mulch here worry about the felhounds. Orin will keep the demon busy while you burn him.

It sounded like a good enough plan. Alright, lets get moving then.

**

Naturally, the plan went to hell.

Orin had no idea what he was doing. While he was supposed to be the one to keep the attention of the orcs while the rest of us slaughtered them, he instead had them running all over the place, and if it werent for Helgas adept healing, Id have died two or three times from serious stab wounds. Wed barely made it off the first level of the fortress when Martigan threw up his hands and stomped off.

This is the worst group Ive ever seen. Orin, you are such a failure. God. Im going back to Alterac Valley. Martigan sort of preferred killing the Horde over serving the Alliance in any other capacity anyway, so I wasnt really surprised.

Obviously embarrassed, Orin opened up a deathgate and vanished through it, leaving me, Helga, and Mulch in the middle of the Ramparts.

We are NOT quitting this mission. Helga fumed.

I scratched my head. Its up to Mulch, really. Neither of us is going to be able to survive the beating that demons going to lay down. I could head back to Honor Hold and see if I can find someone else to help, but to be honest, Ive seen all the other recent recruits there, and theyre pretty bad.

Mulch shrugged. Just three of us? Why not. He smiled, picked up his axe (which was bigger than he was) and marched towards the demon.

You gotta love a gnome thats spat in the face of the Lich King. Theres not much else thats going to scare him after that.

**

What I hate about demons is that theyre immune to my polymorph spells. The felhounds that Omor had at his command would have been trivial if Id been able to turn them all into sheep.

Instead, I had them chasing me all over the platform while Mulch hacked away at the demons knees.

The tactic was working pretty well until Omar lashed his shadowy whip around my chest and flung me about three stories into the air. I felt my ankle snap as I landed, and had the wind knocked out of me. I hadnt even had time to sit up before the two hounds were upon me.

The snake-like tentacles on their heads latched on to my flesh and literally began draining the life out of me. My mind went numb and I couldnt come up with a single spell to cast. All I could notice is Omor getting stronger as I grew weaker, and Mulch backpedaling, trying desperately to fend off his attacks.

Helga had her hands full trying to keep Mulch alive and fending off a third helhound at the same time. I swatted feebly at the hounds and tried to pry their tentacles off, and was rewarded with one of them biting my left arm off at the elbow.

Oh, yeah. Id forgotten about the mouths full of razor sharp teeth in all my worry over the life-sucking tentacles.

Just as Id resigned myself to spending my last few moments trying to figure out whether the life-suck or loss of blood would kill me first, something remarkable happened.

Mulch raised a hand towards the felhound attacking Helga and cast his deathgrip, dragging the beast to him. Then he pointed at the one with my arm in its mouth and cast a spell that put shadowy chains around its throat. It dropped my arm and ran to attack him. Finally, he cast a frost bolt at the third hound that forced it to release its hold on me and run to join the other two.

I sat up, grabbed my arm, and held it up to the bleeding stump at my elbow. Helga pointed her staff at me and cast a focused barrage of holy light that washed over me and instantly mended the wounds.

Mulch was now being pummeled by Omor and the three felhounds, but I was feeling a lot better, and pretty pissed off to boot.

I began to cast a blizzard of wind and ice that enveloped the demon and his little dogs, with enormous icicles cutting the felhounds to pieces. Omor huddled under his wings and avoided the brunt of the attack, but when he peeked out from under them he was met with an enormous ball of fire. He lost his balance, and then toppled to the ground when Mulch cut his right leg off at the knee. The gnome then calmly walked over and decapitated the beast.

I sat down and took a hunk of bread out of my pack. The other two walked over and joined me.

That was the easy one. I said between bites. I have no idea how were going to manage to take that dragon down.

**

Mulch said he had an idea, but that he had to look at the dragon first. I shrugged and followed him over to the other platform.

Nazan was circling the ramparts about 50 yards overhead. There also appeared to be an orc on his back.

Mulch rubbed his chin. Hmm. I didnt expect there to be a rider. Still, the dragons definitely big enough.

Big enough for what? Helga asked.

Ill tell you later. Shadrach can you reach the orc from here?

Maybe. If he flies close enough.

Alrighty then. Were good. Heres the plan.

**

Most gnomes are pretty crazy, and tend to disregard their own safety and that of those around them when they just *know* their brilliant plan will work.

History is also full of gnomes who have died tragic and amusing deaths in this manner.

Mulch was determined to be no exception. At least my part in his plan was pretty easy.

I made myself invisible and snuck out on to the platform. As soon as Nazan was close, I cast my polymorph spell on the orc on his back.

Its a well-established fact that sheep make for terrible dragon riders. The orc fell off the dragon, and while he was in mid-air, I hit him with a barrage of arcane missiles that broke the spell but actually knocked him even higher up into the sky. When he landed, there was little more than a bloody stain on the stone platform.

This, naturally, got the attention of the dragon, who descended and began breathing fire in my direction. I blinked out of his way, and before he could turn to attack me, Mulch hurled a shadowy bolt of necrotic energy at the side of his head.

The Death Knight crouched down and cast a spell that covered his whole body in a thick glaze of ice. Then Helga picked him up by his belt and hurled him at the dragon as he opened his mouth to breathe fire again.

Nazan staggered backwards as he gagged and choked on the frozen gnome now lodged in his throat. Helga had cast a healing spell on him before throwing him, but she couldnt heal him any more until he was out we didnt have much time.

I focused my aim at the lump in the dragons throat and shot several lances of ice at him. At the same time, Mulch hacked away from the inside, eventually tearing a hole big enough to climb out of.

He fell out of the dragons tracheotomy, and stood grinning as the beast tried to breathe fire again.

The flame poured out of Nazans neck and caused him to cry out in agony. Grievously wounded and confused, he offered no defense to the barrage of arcane blasts I sent at him, dispatching him swiftly and mercifully.

**

We returned to Trollbane with word of the dragons demise. He was pleased, and presented me with my commendation.

Tell Khadgar Im sorry for keeping you so long. He smiled.

What do you mean? I asked.

Youve got a right to know, Shadrach. Khadgars been expecting you for weeks. Captain Kaos told him about you before you ever got here.

But he never mentioned that Im a little slow sometimes.

No, you coming here first was Khadgars idea. Like I said before, we have a lot of mages and warlocks that cant handle the nether you were really only supposed to be here long enough for us to see if youd have a problem with it or not.

Then that means Khadgar has something else in mind for me already.

Yep.

What?

No idea.

So, whyd you keep me here so long, then?

I had a dragon problem. He smiled.

Alright. Well, whatever hes got planned, Im probably going to need help. I gestured towards Mulch and Helga. Im taking them with me to Shattrath.

Danath shook his head. Thats not up to me. Besides, Ive already recommended Mulch to the Ebon Blade, and Slagfist is wanted over in Nagrand the Kurenai have been bugging me for a priest for months, and shes the first decent one to come through here.

Helga spat. Ill not be flying off to Nagrand or any other such place. You either send me to Shattrath or send me home, Mister Trollbane.

Trollbanes eyes narrowed and he glared. Listen here. All of you. I have orders, and now you have orders. Youve done well here, and youve earned very good and very important assignments. You can do as youre told or you can go to the brig. THOSE are your options. Any questions?

Helga glared. Mulch shrugged. I gritted my teeth and walked out.

They caught up with me outside the keep. Helga started to speak, but I cut her off. Im keeping my word to you. Be ready to leave after midnight. Mulch, if you want to go, Ill take you as well.

Mulch smiled, I really appreciate that, Shadrach, but if the Ebon Blade is ready for me, then Im going to Northrend. Good luck to you two.

I couldnt blame him. He had a score to settle and a ticket to the fight he really wanted. Good luck, Mulch. Ill look you up when I get to Icecrown.

I had already figured on having to sneak Helga to Shattrath. I just had to hope the guard would be light this evening.
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  #55  
Old 07-12-2010, 04:30 PM
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Enjoyable, though I'd have made the last chapter in the Ramparts a bit shorter as regards fighting. I'm still a reader after all these months!
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  #56  
Old 07-13-2010, 01:27 AM
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Enjoyable, though I'd have made the last chapter in the Ramparts a bit shorter as regards fighting. I'm still a reader after all these months!
That's actually good feedback - I didn't particularly enjoy writing the fight scenes, but I also didn't want them to just walk in, get loot, etc.... not that that would have been unrealistic these days... but...

Working on the next bit, maybe have it up tomorrow...
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  #57  
Old 07-13-2010, 11:58 PM
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Absolutely fan-tastic. (Oh god) Found this tonight can't wait for more. Mulch better be tanking in NR for us damnit!!!!

(Once again sorry bout the Fan-tastic thing)
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  #58  
Old 07-15-2010, 06:33 PM
Malygos Malygos is offline

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He was right. But there was one more thing. "Before I go..?"

"What?"

I pointed at Jadros' corpse. "Could I have his boots? Those are a LOT better than the ones I'm wearing."
I laughed. Good job on the story.
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  #59  
Old 08-17-2010, 04:16 PM
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More than anything else, I love polymorph spells.

Granted, nothing beats a nice, fat fireball when you want to annihilate something, but Id love being a mage if all I could do with it is turn people into sheep.

Or penguins.

Or cats.

Or rabbits.

You get my point.

So, shortly after midnight, Helga and I stepped quietly out of the Inn and walked around back to the stables. Most of the guard was either inside the inn or the keep at this time of night, and I only had to worry about the flight master a homely and ill-mannered Wildhammer Dwarf woman named Krill Bitterhue.

Krill had her back to the inn, and was watching the skies overhead. It wasnt uncommon to have horde fly too close to the fortress, and inbound infernals were a constant threat. She had no reason to expect an attack from where we stood, and thus became a harmless turtle in a puff of smoke.

Why a turtle? Helga whispered.

Well, if an infernal DOES land here, she should at least have a fighting chance to survive the impact. I replied

She rolled her eyes at me. How thoughtful.

Without their flightmaster, a gryphon will take orders from just about anyone friendly. Krill may have insisted upon sending us where Danath ordered, but turtles usually dont give directions.

Hurry. The spell wont last more than a minute or so. I urged Helga onto a golden gryphon.

She smiled at me, but there wasnt time for long goodbyes. She leaned forward and whispered Shattrath in the beasts ear, and she was off. I mounted up, and instructed mine to take me to Telaar. With any luck, Krill would emerge from the polymorph spell completely unaware that anything had just happened. She would notice the two gryphons missing, and, hopefully, assume shed just nodded off or spaced out. She could track them anywhere in Outland, and when she did, she would know that one was headed for Shattrath and one to Telaar.

She wouldnt know who the passengers were.

By the time everything got sorted out, Helga would have had a chance to meet the Naaru in Shattrath. We agreed to feign ignorance and chalk it up to some confusion at the time we took off together, and nobody would be the wiser.

Of course, that was a complete fantasy. Breaking orders and hijacking gryphons would have consequences. Serious ones. I didnt realize it until I landed in Nagrand.
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Old 08-17-2010, 05:44 PM
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After a few hours, my gryphon landed at the hippogryph rise above Telaar. It was nearly dawn. I dismounted and was met by the tip of a spear under my nose. It was held by a very angry looking Draenei Vindicator.

Do not even bat an eyelash, mage. His voice was calm and steady. He wasnt afraid of me, nor was he afraid to skewer me. I stood perfectly still, and said nothing.

Two more Vindicators approached and shackled my wrists behind my back, and then I was instructed to walk down the ramp of the tower, and into the inn that was housed at its base.

Around the main room were a group of Draenei in heated conversation, and a human who looked a lot older than he really was. The room fell silent when our arrival was noticed.

Khadgar spoke. Please give us a moment.

The Draenei all left, leaving me standing across the room, in shackles, from the greatest living mage anywhere from here to Azeroth. And he looked pissed.

There is sufficient reason to have you immediately executed. He said. I always love it when an introduction begins with a threat on my life.

I said nothing. I had disobeyed direct orders and assaulted an officer with a polymorph spell, and we were at war. They wouldnt even need a trial.

Khadgar continued. Your disobedience alone could cost you your head. The fact that you endangered one of our Naaru allies in the process has created a diplomatic incident that we cannot afford.

What? I hadnt been within a hundred miles of any Naaru. Forgive me, Im not sure what you mean.

Khadgar slammed the base of his staff on the floor of the inn. There was an explosion of light that blinded me for a moment, and when I looked up again, his face was inches from my own. FORGIVE YOU?? You ignorant dolt!

People forget that Khadgars really not that old. People should also know that hes no weakling, either. I didnt even see his right cross coming. It knocked me flat on my ass, and I rolled around on the ground gagging on my own blood and one of my teeth that had been knocked out.

He picked me up by the collar and dropped me on a bench next to the wall.

I shouldnt have to remind someone like you that this entire world is under constant siege from the Burning Legion. Nor should I have to remind you that if this world falls to the Legion, they have a very short trip to Azeroth.

I know that. I coughed and spit more blood. I was just trying to keep a promise.

Again came the fist. It might have been a left this time. I cant remember. It broke my nose. Your job is to follow orders!
Khadgar turned around and walked away. I got the impression he was trying to compose himself and decide whether or not he really wanted to beat me to death. I was sick of bleeding all over the place. I froze my shackles and shattered them, then took a bandage out of my pocket and started wiping the blood off my face.

Im really sorry. I was going to head right to Shattrath. I just needed to let Helga

He turned around and cut me off. Let Helga what? Meet one of the Naaru? What do you think we were sending her here for? And who told you you could take off your bindings?

I threw my hands up and groaned. Im sick of bleeding all over this nice rug they have in here. Look, I have no idea why anyone was sent anywhere. Nobody tells us these things. All I know is she saved my ass more than once, and I owed it to her to at least let her find what she was looking for in Outland. Its why she volunteered to go through the portal in the first place.

Youre not told anything for operational security, you simpleton! Youre given orders and as much information as its safe to give you for a reason. When you break them, you endanger more lives than you seem to be able to comprehend.

I dont get it. And I didnt. Since Id arrived in Outland, all Id done is dirty work. Helga had done the same. We werent that important. Half a days detour shouldnt have mattered for either of us.

Khadgar just shook his head, and sighed. I had to abandon Shattrath to bring Helga here. There was an assault on Oshugun by agents of the Shadow Council two days ago.

I still dont get it. Whats Oshugun?

By the Light, you are indeed ignorant. Oshugun is an ancient vessel of the Draenei the one that brought them to this world in the first place. There is a Naaru that dwells within it. He is ancient, and very week. He would have died ages ago, were it not for the care given him from the spirits of the Orc shamans that once inhabited this land.

What do the Shadow Council want with him? What does it have to do with Helga? Nevermind that I didnt even know what the Shadow Council was. I looked stupid enough already.

We dont know. The Telaari Vindicators killed them all, but not before they assaulted Kure and killed the priests and shamans that were watching over him. We needed someone who could commune with Kure and help him recover from the attack.

Oh, shit.

Khadgar continued. Helga is with him now. I pray she is not too late.

He was right. I was a complete idiot. All shed wanted was to meet one of the Naaru. In fact, they had given her orders that would not only let her meet one, but possibly save its life. And I had screwed it up.

I had no idea.

Of course not. I cant just send word to Honor Hold that the oldest ally of the Draenei is dying and we need every priest and shaman we can get to rush to his deathbed. What do you think the Horde would do with that kind of information? Or worse, the Legion?

I just shook my head.

And then theres the matter of your assignment.

Oh, good. Id managed to screw up even more.

He continued. I sent four men to break a prisoner out of Arcatraz last night. They succeeded, but only two returned alive. They had to fight their way back out of the cell block. It might have been substantially easier if there had been someone with a gift for portals to extract them more swiftly.

Two dead. My fault. All because Id tried to keep a promise I didnt need to make in the first place. At that point, I didnt think Khadgar had hit me hard enough.

I just sat there. I had nothing to say, and no reason to defend myself.

Khadgar just frowned. Youre unreliable, and thats dangerous. If I had any suspicion that your intentions were malevolent, Id have killed you before the gryphon landed. But I cant execute you in good conscience just for being stupid. I do, however, have to make sure that youre not given the opportunity to endanger other lives again.

With all due respect, sir, I think Id prefer execution to the Stockades.

Youre not going to prison. Youre too valuable to leave rotting in a cell.

Then what?

He walked over to me, and lowered his voice. Youre a blunt-force weapon, Shadrach, but not a very good one. When Im done with you, youre going to be lethal. Deliberately.

Im not really cut out for that sort of thing.

You dont really have an option anymore. I have a town full of angry Draenei right outside that door that want your head on a stick. I have a hero of the Alliance at Honor Hold that would personally like to punch a hole in your chest. I have two men in the infirmary at Shattrath that would just LOVE to speak with the mage that didnt show up for their raid last night. Whatever you think your options are, running back to Southshore to read books and fish are not among them. I am the only option you have.

I sighed. I dont care. Ill do whatever you say. Im just telling you, if youre looking for some sort of arcane mercenary, Im not the right guy for it. Ill find some way to screw it up.

Khadgar opened a portal and motioned me toward it. Im sure you will. Ill make sure youre somewhere in enemy territory when it happens.
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Old 09-08-2010, 03:28 PM
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I emerged from Khadgar's portal into a basement. From the shelves of grain and produce and the casks of ale, I figured I was underneath an inn somewhere. It was dark, and I tried not to stumble into anything while my eyes adjusted to the lack of light.

Suddenly, a large, dark purple hand was over my mouth, and I felt the tip of a blade against my back. "Do not speak, mage," came the growling whisper, "or I will cut the heart from your chest and present it to you before you draw your last breath and fall to the ground. Do not doubt me, conjurer, for I am..."

"Stabzu, let him go already, he's with me. And how many times have I told you to knock of the melodramatic monologues?" Khadgar stepped out of the portal and relieved me of the elf's speech.

I stepped away and turned to face him. Like most night elves, he was tall, but unlike most he'd cropped his hair short, and had it 'styled' in a manner that had wavy spikes going in every direction. It looked as if he'd gone to bed after taking a bath and hadn't bothered to do anything with his hair in the morning. He was dressed in all black leather, including a mask that covered his nose and mouth.

He turned to Khadgar and bowed. "Forgive me, my lord. I was enjoying the cool dark of my sanctum while I composed poetry and was not expecting an intruder. Had I known..."

Khadgar rolled his eyes, "By the Light, it's a bloody basement, not your 'sanctum,' and you know I prefer to enter here out of sight. And before you ask, if you make any attempt to read this poetry of yours aloud, I will freeze your leather-clad hide into a glacier in the Storm Peaks and forget where I put you. Where are the others?"

I could almost see the dejected frown through his mask. "Umm, upstairs, my lord."

"We have a new member. Go assemble the team. We'll be up shortly."

I waited for him to leave, and raised an eyebrow at Khadgar, "What's the deal? That guy seems like a complete moron."

Khadgar smiled, "He's an absolute moron. But he got the drop on you, didn't he?"

"Yeah, but," I was going to make an excuse about being disoriented coming through the portal, but Khadgar knew better.

"Don't give me any crap about portal disorientation. I've read your file. You do portals better than any mage on Azeroth. You know how to sense what's on the other side before you step through, and you had no idea he was there. And he had no time to prepare for our arrival. Moron or not, that elf is one of the most talented rogues in the alliance. Like you, however, his natural talents don't guarantee worldly wisdom."

"Wait... you want to team me up with that guy? And you said there are others?"

"Oh, he's the most normal of the crew. Wait until you meet the rest of them."

I crossed my arms. "No offense, sir, but I don't really think I belong on a team of rejects."

"Boy, these 'rejects' are some of the most dangerous beings in the world. They're powerful, unpredictable, and, in some cases, insane. The only reason why they, like you, aren't rotting in jail or dangling from the end of a noose is because I know them to be inherently decent people, and I've found a use for them. And I don't expect you to join them."

"Then why am I here?"

"You're going to lead them."
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  #62  
Old 09-08-2010, 03:54 PM
Exxile87 Exxile87 is offline

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Awesome entry is awesome.
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Old 09-08-2010, 03:56 PM
Bolvar Bolvar is offline

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Awesome entry is awesome.
I totally stole the role player idea (and wait till you see the next one), and it really gave me fuel to move the story.

I wanted Shadrach to sort of end up on Khadgar's "A-Team," but I wanted to keep it in character... I'd already done the bit where he was kind of the weak link amongst the pros... so now I'm going the other way with it. And I get to have a little fun with some in-game stereotypes.
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Old 09-08-2010, 04:00 PM
Exxile87 Exxile87 is offline

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I totally stole the role player idea (and wait till you see the next one), and it really gave me fuel to move the story.

I wanted Shadrach to sort of end up on Khadgar's "A-Team," but I wanted to keep it in character... I'd already done the bit where he was kind of the weak link amongst the pros... so now I'm going the other way with it. And I get to have a little fun with some in-game stereotypes.
Feel free to use the death knight i discussed earlier. Just make sure Varian kills him when he finally tries to "reclaim his throne".
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Old 09-08-2010, 04:04 PM
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Feel free to use the death knight i discussed earlier. Just make sure Varian kills him when he finally tries to "reclaim his throne".
I already had a goofy death knight... but I'm sort of using a similar character idea... you'll see in a bit.
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Old 09-08-2010, 05:02 PM
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Khadgar was right. Stabzu was the most normal of the bunch.

When we emerged out of the basement, I recognized the Lakeshire Inn. Its a cozy spot, and the last time I had visited, I had remarked on how much I preferred it to the Lions Pride in Goldshire, by virtue of the fact that it didnt have as many obnoxious freaks for patrons.

That didnt seem to be the case any longer.

The scene at the table before the fireplace was something out of a bad joke. A gorgeous blonde woman in her underwear danced amongst plates of food with a succubus. A human warrior in a ridiculously heavy set of plate armor sat on the floor chewing on the leg of a chair. Stabzu lurked in the corner looking sullen and moody although I wouldnt have seen him at all if I hadnt been looking for him. A bald dwarf in long white and gold robes with a short grey beard ran up to Khadgar waving his arms frantically.

By the Light, Khadgar! Shes doing it AGAIN! You of all people know that she shouldnt use demonic power around me HE might take control!

Khadgar patted the man on the shoulder. Relax, Gearsworth. You know the beast will not emerge while I am present and I have another with me whom he also fears.

The dwarf looked me over, skeptically, and whispered to Khadgar, as if I couldnt hear, Are you certain? Can he be trusted to do what is necessary?

Khadgar nodded soberly. Absolutely. He can summon my runic blade to decapitate you should you ever lose control, my friend. But, fear not I sense the Light is strong in you, and grows stronger every day. I do not think you will suffer the same fate as my dear master.

The dwarf sighed, thanked Khadgar, and walked over to the bar to order a drink.

Ok, what in the Nether was THAT all about? I asked.

Gearsworth Erbag. He believes that he is the son of Magna Aegwynn and the ancient Tirisfalen mage Erbag, and that he, like Medivh, was corrupted in the womb by Sargeras.

But hes a Dwarf and, unless I misread my history, Erbag died long before Aegwynn fought Sargeras.

Of course hes a Dwarf. I told you, some of these folks are insane. He firmly believes his story to be true that hes half gnome, half human, and that he laid in slumber for centuries until just a few years ago, and dedicated himself to study and mastery of the Light to fight the demonic presence his soul struggles with.

I tried really, really hard not to laugh. So, he really thinks hes Medivhs half-brother?

Yes.

And he trusts you, even though you helped kill Medivh?

Thats exactly why he trusts me. He believes I will know immediately if he loses control to Sargeras, and execute him before he can bring doom and destruction upon Azeroth.

Wow. He needs help.

And where do I send him for help? That dwarf is ten times more powerful than any priest in Stormwind or Northshire Abbey. Even Benedictus is a lightweight by comparison. Ive brought him before Adal personally and have been assured of it. Even the Naaru respect his talent.

And what does Adal think of the fact that hes a nutjob?

That its probably harmless. Crazy or not, Gearsworth reveres the Light, and hates the Legion with a passion. He is a powerful ally, and if we have to entertain his illusions to keep him that way, then so be it.

I switched topics. Ok, what should I know about the other two?

Khadgar gestured toward the half naked woman, Eloona there is a warlock, obviously. When she actually bothers to put her clothes on, youll notice shes gathered some of the rarest and most valuable magical artifacts youll ever see on one person. Shes been everywhere from AnhQuiraj to the Black Temple, and has more than her share of the spoils to show for it. In fact, thats how she ended up with me too many other heroes shes been on expeditions with complained of her charming and manipulating her way to better rewards than the rest of her comrades.

OK, aside from being a loot whore, whats so special about her?

Shes gifted at charming more than just her allies, so much so that Ive seen her burn a troll from the inside out, and he enjoyed every moment of it. Be careful around her.

Yeah, I figured as much. What about the wall of muscle on the floor? I pointed at the warrior.

Elroy Perkins. Veteran of the Second and Third Wars. Strongest man Ive ever seen, but extremely unpredictable in battle. Be sure you have him pointed in the right direction when you get him started, because he usually wont stop moving until everything else does. Hes also suffered a large amount of head trauma over the years, so use small words and short sentences. He has a brief attention span and tends to break stuff when he gets bored.

Great. Anything else I should know?

Thats it for now. Lets introduce you to the team.
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Old 09-09-2010, 11:53 AM
Emojomaker Emojomaker is offline

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Awesome fanfic bro.
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Old 09-20-2010, 06:29 AM
Orifiel Whitedeer Orifiel Whitedeer is offline

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This is hilarious and a really fun concept. There is a similar story in the "Philosophy of Warcraft" book about a mage who desperatly wants to pick flowers in Alterac Valley but instead has an existential melt down when he meets his "player"

But no worries, this story is different from the other one, just a similar initial concept.
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Old 09-20-2010, 05:15 PM
Royalpimp Royalpimp is offline

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This is pure awesomeness .

Please continue .
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Old 09-23-2010, 07:06 PM
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Khadgar left, and I took a vacant room at the inn.

Then I did a whole lot of nothing for the next few weeks. Which is exactly how I preferred it. I'm not an action junkie. Give me a place to fish and a few books to read, and I'm happy to stay out of the way of sharp and pointy objects.

Most of the rest of the team seemed to appreciate the downtime as well. Perkins had a family in Westfall to go back to. Gearsworth enjoyed reading as much as I did. Stabzu was content to write bad poetry and spend his nights lurking around Stonewatch picking off Blackrock Orcs.

Eloona, however, was not amused. It had been nearly three weeks after my arrival when she sent her succubus down to the docks to fetch me. I was sitting on the edge of a pier, trying to fish.

"My mistress would like a word with you."

I don't take orders from lesser demons. "Well, she knows where to find me."

The succubus giggled, "Oh, you really should go up and see her."

I could feel the tingle of her charm spell as it tried to cloud my mind. She was standing with one hand on her hip and the other running up and down her leather bodice. "Rygalla, I've already warned you about that."

She undid the top button and bent over to whisper in my ear, "It will cost you nothing to enjoy both of us, mortal."

I looked around to see if anyone else was on the pier with us. Of course, she had made sure I was alone.

Satisfied, I released an explosion of arcane force. The succubus was thrown backward, landing in the mud at the shore of the lake. I got up, walked over to her, and dragged her by her hair into the inn and up to Eloona's room.

I kicked the door open and tossed the demon inside. I stood at the threshold and glared at the warlock. She had hastily covered herself, but from the candles lit all over the room and her posture on the bed, I could tell she'd expected better results from her minion.

"If you ever try that crap with me again, I'll have your ass shipped to Nagrand and you can spend the next two years collecting Talbuk shit."

She rolled her eyes at me. "Come ON, Shadrach. I'm BORED. We haven't been on a raid in forever. I heard a group of Horde in Northrend just cleared the first wing of Icecrown Citadel. How can you stand that? Some bitch of a troll is going to have better gear than me!"

I shook my head. Of all the people on the team, I couldn't figure out what Khadgar saw in her that was decent. "We go when and where they tell us to go. In the meantime, some of us actually enjoy not putting our lives at risk on a daily basis. Don't you have a hobby or something?"

She got up from the bed. She was naked, but she threw a robe on quickly. She walked over to her pack.

It was amazing what you could store inside an enchanted bag. The magical fabrics created a pocket of warped reality that allowed them to carry objects of all sizes and weights with no regard for the outer dimensions of the container. From hers, Eloona withdrew a relatively simple looking wooden staff. "Do you see this?"

I took a closer look. The raven carved into the head of the staff was a dead giveaway. "Unbelievable. Is that...?"

"Atiesh. Greatstaff of the Guardian. One of the most legendary items in the world. Know how I got it?" She didn't wait for me to answer. "I begged and seduced my way on to raid teams for over a year to gather pieces of it scattered all over the world. I spent more time in Naxxramas than the Scourge. I had to sleep with a company commander in the Argent Dawn to get a group of his men to take me into Stratholme to slay the demon I needed to cleanse it."

"Sounds like a pain in the ass."

"But it was WORTH it! For a year after that, I couldn't walk ten feet in an Alliance city without someone offering to buy me a drink and ask me about it. Raid leaders everywhere wanted me on their teams, because I had such a legendary weapon. I was FAMOUS."

"It's still a legendary weapon. I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem is the Dark Portal opened again. The problem is people went to Outland and found artifacts that were more powerful. The problem is some lucky warrior was on a team that killed Illidan and got one of his legendary warglaives. Just like that! He didn't have to collect anything or summon some great ancient evil and defeat it or do anything! Goddamned Illidan just DROPPED the thing, and he can pick it up and use it."

"Again, I don't see the problem. You probably couldn't even LIFT a Warglaive of Azzinoth."

She sighed, sat on the bed, and laid the staff across her lap. "The problem, Shadrach, is that THIS is my hobby. This is what I do. I know it's selfish, and I don't really care. It keeps me busy. You don't know what it's like being a warlock... the constant temptation..." She gave her unconscious succubus a dirty look.

Tears welled up in her eyes, and began to trickle over her cheeks. She sobbed a little. "I know people think I'm a bad person. But I didn't ask to be a practitioner of this magic. I was just a little girl who could make candles light on their own, living in Brill. But my parents owed money to the Barov's. When Kel'thuzad started his sick little school, he scoured Lordaeron for young magical talent. My parents sent me to Scholomance in exchange for having their debt forgiven."

I sat next to her and put my arm around her shoulder. "Eloona, I had no idea."

Scholomance was nothing short of a living nightmare. I'd been there, long after the Scourge had overrun Lordaeron. Eloona couldn't have been much older than 10 if she had been a student there. It was no place for a little girl.

I asked her, "How did you get out of there? Didn't most of the students there end up as necromancers in the Cult of the Damned?"

"I ran away. When I saw what they were doing with the plague, I just ran away. I stowed away on merchant vessels and made it to Stormwind after they'd rebuilt the city. There were other warlocks there who recognized my talent."

"Did you ever find your parents?"

She shuddered. "I don't give a damn about my parents. What kind of parents send their daughter to a place like that? I was on my own. I've ALWAYS been on my own. But fel magic comes with a price. I can't just sit around reading books like you, Shadrach. The demons want payment. They want blood. I kill for them. Sure, I might be killing the enemies of the Alliance, but I'm doing it for the demons. If I don't, they'll take me instead. They'd rather take me instead."

I started to get it. "So, you focus on the tangible rewards. Because conquering the evil in the world isn't enough - because that just feeds the demons."

"Exactly."

"Alright. I'll port over to Stormwind in the morning. I know a few guys in SI:7, I'll see if they have any work for us. If Khadgar doesn't have an assignment, I'll do what I can to keep you busy. But no more of the seduction bullshit. I'm almost old enough to be your father."

"That doesn't seem to bother most guys."

I shrugged. "What can I say? I like older women. The last two gals I had any interest in were probably three times your age. Of course, they weren't human, but..."

Just then an out-of-breath courier appeared at the door and knocked, even though it was open.

"Beg your pardon, sir. I've just flown in with an urgent message for you from Ironforge." He handed me a sealed scroll.

I recognized the signet of the Ironforge Secret Service. The message could only be opened by its intended recipient. I read it.

"What is it?" Eloona asked.

"Trouble. I need to go to Ironforge right now." The summons was just for me, and the rest of the group was out and about, but I figured she could use the distraction. "Want to tag along?"

"Sure."

"Get dressed. I'm going to run downstairs and leave a note for the others. We're porting in two minutes."
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Old 09-24-2010, 09:56 AM
DarkAngel DarkAngel is offline

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Hmmm... Eloona is quite the master manipulator. Telling the truth to get people to do what you want? Very good for a purely comic exercise.

I also seem to recall that Shadrach's last episode of being persuaded by a woman didn't end so well...
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Old 09-24-2010, 10:52 AM
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Hmmm... Eloona is quite the master manipulator. Telling the truth to get people to do what you want? Very good for a purely comic exercise.

I also seem to recall that Shadrach's last episode of being persuaded by a woman didn't end so well...
This one will end worse.

OMG SPOILERSZ!!1!!
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Old 09-24-2010, 01:01 PM
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Most alliance cities have wards all over them to prevent hostile visitors from porting in at their convenience. Thats why portal arrivals happen at designated locations, usually surrounded by powerful mages, and generally in an enclosed area that can be quickly blocked off from the rest of the city.

Ironforge is the most vigilant in this regard. You arrive in a small circular chamber surrounded by mages, priests, and paladins 24 hours a day. A solid stone door can be lowered instantly at the first sign of trouble, leaving you trapped while the rest of the dwarven army arrives to see if anything nasty emerges after theyve diverted a flow of lava into the room with you.

So, dont port to Ironforge without an invitation, kids!

I arrived in the room with Eloona, and was met immediately by Nittlebur Sparkfizzle, one of the older Gnome mages in Ironforge, and one who did work for the ISS from time to time.

Rediron is waiting for you in the command center. Lets go.

Draz Rediron was a veteran rogue who ran the ISS. He didnt do much field work anymore on account of the fact that his peg leg left him a lot less stealthy than hed been in his youth, but he was a sharp mind with contacts all over Azeroth.

We followed Sparkfizzle upstairs to the ISS command center that was hidden not far from the old Ironforge Airport. The place was empty, except for Rediron, who was reading reports at the large stone conference table.

Wow. Kind of dead in here, Commander. Id worked with Rediron before; I didnt need an introduction.

The old dwarf glanced up at me. Everyone Ive got is in Northrend. Big push on the Icecrown Citadel. Well have Arthas head in a week or so.

Really? That close?

The damned fool sat there and let Fordring build an enormous military outpost right in his backyard. The Argent Crusade has been training an army for a year. Im more surprised its taken this long. But Magni, Varian, and the rest of the Alliance have called for all hands on this one. Theyre bringing everything against that bastard to finish it.

Hmm. Kind of makes me wonder why my team was left out.

Khadgars resources are untouchable. While Arthas and the Scourge are a big deal, his interests are bigger.

So Khadgar told you to summon me? I already knew the answer.

No. But I have someone here I need you to speak with. He says he knows you. I think hes full of it. But if he is, I havent wasted too much of your time. If he isnt, Im pretty sure Khadgar wont mind.

If its that Goblin from Ratchet you tell him that building was already on fire when I got there, and Im not paying him a nickel

Oh, shut yer piehole. Follow me.

Rediron led me, Eloona, and Sparkfizzle out of the command center and down a hallway to one of the interrogation rooms. There was one guard at the door, whom Rediron dismissed, and we walked in.

A dark hued night elf in shining silver and gold toned armor sat at the table. He smiled when he saw me. You dont age so well.

I looked at Rediron. Ive never seen this man in my life.

Rediron replied. The company on watch at the Dark Portal says that this elf fell out of the portal two days ago, covered in sand, and completely disoriented. The guards on the Outland side say nobody entered, and there were no authorized passages. They interrogated him at Nethergarde, and he would only give up his name and rank, and demand to speak with you. When they looked you up, it came across my desk, and I had him shipped here.

Why? Why not just let me visit him at Nethergarde? Would have been a shorter trip.

The Night Elf looked a little amused. Rediron answered. He identifies himself as General Maurus Lightroot. Paladin of the Argent Crusade. Argus Company Four.

Sooo hes a Night Elf PALADIN. Serving on ARGUS. Who says he knows me.

We had a priest look him over. If hes crazy, its a special kind of crazy. He claims he can prove his story.

At this point, the Elf stood up. He was tall, even for a night elf, and very muscular. He snapped off a salute and addressed me. Archmage Shadrach. I have come at your command to warn you of a great threat to Azeroth from the Burning Legion.

Im not an Archmage. And I dont remember giving any orders to an imaginary paladin.

He looked around the room at Sparkfizzle, Rediron, and finally Eloona. Sir, what I have to tell you is extremely sensitive. I think it would be wiser if we spoke alone.

Maurus, youre not leaving this room until Rediron thinks youre either harmless or on the level. These other two are trusted with secrets the King himself isnt privy to. You say you can prove your claim; I suggest you start there.

Very well. He reached into a pouch on his belt and removed a libram. Librams were guilded books that contained scriptures pertaining to the Holy Light and spells for a Paladin to call upon. They were also commonly used as journals.

Maurus flipped to a page in the back that was mostly blank except for a short paragraph, and showed it to me.

Thats impossible. I gasped.

Whats impossible? asked Rediron, I cant even tell what language that is.

Its ancient Arathorian. And its in my handwriting.
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Old 09-24-2010, 01:26 PM
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Sparkfizzle snatched the libram and studied the page furiously.

How could you have written this? Theres only ever been a few pieces of Arathorian script ever found. Nobody knows the entire language.

Sparkfizzle was right. Almost. The ancient tribe of Arathi had grown into a great empire ages and ages ago, and most of their magic had been taught to them by the High Elves of QuelThalas in exchange for their aid in the Troll Wars.

Since magical texts were usually the only thing that lasted more than a few hundred years from that age, the ancient Arathorian language had been lost, as the mages of that day had switched to Thalassian.

I replied. I found a chest containing several tablets written in Thalassian and Arathorian in a cave not far from Stromgarde. It wasnt much, but it contained some of the ancient arcane knowledge that the early Arathorians possessed. Most of the spells are crude and have little practical application; its why the mages of that day gave up their craft to pursue the more sophisticated and refined magic offered to them by the Elves.

Rediron spoke up, Still, this could be a forgery. If someone else found those tablets, or something you had written down

Sparkfizzle interjected, And why werent these tablets brought to Dalaran? You know the Kirin Tors policy!

I shook my head. I never wrote any of it down. Especially not that spell. And I couldnt remove the tablets from the cave. They were cursed. I spent two weeks memorizing them. When I did try to take them out of the cave, they disintegrated.

Sparkfizzle threw his hands up. You should have TOLD someone they were there! And you should have at least gone to Dalaran and reported your findings!

I did. Rhonin blew me off. Said something like if there had been anything that great and historical lying about, obviously he would have been the one to find it, and since I didnt have any evidence, he didnt have time to hear it.

Rediron spoke again, It still doesnt prove the Elfs claim that you wrote it. For all we know, that could be jibberish. And if its a spell, theres no way to prove it if youre the only one that can read it, you could make it do anything.

I shook my head again, No, its a spell I created. A spell nobody else in the world knows, and one Ive never used on a human.

Whats it do? Sparkfizzle asked.

Id rather not say. I tried not to blush.

If youre claiming to have written an ancient Arathorian spell that nobody else knows, and its this Elfs proof of his story, youre going to have to demonstrate. Sparkfizzle insisted.

I rolled my eyes. Its a breast enhancement spell.

A what? Sparkfizzle coughed.

Eloona giggled.

Rediron slapped his palm against his forehead.

Maurus grinned and lowered his head, clearly trying not to laugh.

Look, I explained, Its based on an ancient Arathorian fertility spell, OK? The magic is sound, I just adjusted it a bit.

Why? Asked Sparkfizzle.

I stared at him. Come on. Do you really need to ask that?

Prove it. Eloona spoke up.

What? No

I mean it. Ive always wanted bigger boobs. If you want to prove this Elf is legit, give em to me.

Rediron muttered, Aye, the lass has a point.

Good grief. Youre all as crazy as he is. I gestured at the Elf. Then I looked at Eloona. Fine. You might want to undo a few buttons on that robe.

Eloona grinned and opened the top two buttons on her robe. I gestured and recited the script, careful to get the inflection right, but doing it from memory without having to read the libram.

Sure enough, her robe got a lot snugger, almost immediately.

Wow. She reached up and grabbed her newly enhanced chest.

Its not permanent. I said. The effect should wear off in a week or two.

Well, Im convinced. Said Rediron.

Indeed. Said Sparkfizzle. I dont suppose you could teach me that one?

Can we stay on topic? Please? I looked at Maurus. Alright. Nobody but me could have written that, and Ive never written it. So, where did you get it?

He replied, Its not so much where, as when.

Yeah, I was afraid you were going to say that.
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Old 09-24-2010, 03:56 PM
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I stared at Maurus, trying to figure him out. He didnt seem like a lunatic, and he didnt seem malicious. But I knew what he was about to tell me would be entirely unbelievable.

I also knew there was no way anyone but me had written that spell.

So youre a Paladin in the Argent Crusade, from the future?

Yes.

Lets assume I believe you. How did you get here?

You adjusted the Dark Portal and sent me through it.

Ah. That would explain the sand.

Maurus smiled. As clever as ever.

Eloona spoke up, I dont get it. What about the sand?

I replied, If I had sent him back through time, the Bronze Dragonflight would have sent one of their own to investigate immediately and return him, if possible. The sand he was covered in when he came out of the portal was from the Bronze Dragonshrine. It clouds their view.

Eloona nodded. Ah. Smart. Excuse me, Ive got to go change this robe is getting uncomfortable.

She left the room. I continued. So, why did I send you here? And from when, exactly?

He sighed. I am not sure how much I should tell you. Knowledge of the future is dangerous. It can cause drastic changes in the timeline.

Fine. What did future me tell you to tell me?

Nothing. We were in a hurry. The timeline was already at risk, and had begun to collapse around us. Only our proximity to the portal gave us the scant moments to act.

Wait a minute, Rediron interrupted, If this is true, then why didnt Shadrach just come through himself? And how did he have time to get you covered in sand from Northrend and get you all the way back to the Dark Portal if this timeline was collapsing?"

I answered for him, I keep a jar of Bronze Sand in my pack at all times." I reached inside my netherweave bag and withdrew an enormous glass jar the size of a watermelon. "It's got other magical uses. And the Dark Portal is powerful, but corrupt, and not entirely stable. Using it for time travel would be extremely risky, and I stayed behind to maintain the integrity of the portal."

Maurus nodded. Exactly. We had beaten the Legion badly at Draenor. Argus had been ours for centuries. For the first time, we were truly winning and gaining ground against them. Sargeras was desperate, so he sent his most powerful agent to use the portal, and come to this time to disrupt the progress we had made.

How far in the future are we talking about?

Eleven hundred years.

Wait. Im alive in 1100 years?

It is not unheard of for mages, even human ones, to live so long.

Still, it is very unlikely.

You underestimate yourself.

It wasnt relevant. Interesting, but not relevant. Why now? And why did they have to use the Dark Portal? I asked.

The Dark Portal has existed, in one form or another, for centuries. Draenor has been restored, but still drifts close to the Nether, so it was easily within reach of the legion, and they could exit here on Azeroth.

Right only the Bronze Dragonflight controls portals that have lasted so long. How many demons went through the portal?

Only one.

Well, that explains why we havent heard anything yet. One demon could slip by unnoticed, and shouldnt be too much to deal with.

Not this one. You will notice when she arrives.

You mean shes not here yet?

Of course not. You sent me back further than the demon, to give me time to notify you and prepare.

How much time do we have?

I dont know. No more than a few weeks, but she could also arrive any moment. It was impossible to be more exact.

Tell me more about this demon.

We dont know much about her. Her name is Niamora. She is incredibly powerful, and wields shadow and necrotic energy of enormous magnitude. Sargeras rarely sends her into battle.

Why?

She is his consort.

Yeah. Now I was over my head. I looked at Rediron, We need backup. A lot of it. Is Jim around?

Rediron shook his head, I already told ye, lad. Everyone Ive got is in Icecrown. Including Captain Kaos and his team.

This is bigger than the Lich King. Were talking Battle of Hyjal-big.

I agree, lad. Ill get word to Khadgar and my counterpart at SI:7 immediately. But nobodys gonna pull back troops from the Citadel at this point. Not based on what we have here.

He was right. It would take a major threat to divert the assault on Icecrown. Both the Horde and the Alliance had been doggedly charging toward this goal. There was no stopping them.

Ok. Great. Super powerful squeeze of Sargeras is about to walk through the Dark Portal, and its just me, a team of lunatics, and a futuristic imaginary paladin. I turned to Maurus. Do you have any idea what shes coming here for?

You know, it wont be very long before the notion of a Night Elf paladin doesnt seem so unlikely.

Right. Right after we have a Gnomish Priest. Answer the question.

There are a number of possibilities. Niamora could do great damage to the timeline by killing a number of people.

Right. Whos the most likely.

Aside from you? There are dozens I could think of.

Fine. Assume shes not going to assault the might of the Horde and Alliance at Icecrown, either. You tell me. Who, besides me, is not at Icecrown, and is critical to the future war effort against the legion?

The elf stared at the floor, deep in thought. Then his eyes widened. Of course. I should have thought of it sooner. Vindicator Torak.

Never heard of him.

Thats because he hasnt been born. Not yet. Not for almost a year.

So you think this demon has come back in time to terminate his mother?

Or his father. His parents should be living at Azure Watch not far from the Exodar. His mother is a priestess named Tylena, and his father is a blacksmith named Stovos.

Just then, Eloona returned, wearing a very flattering gown of elvish design. Whatd I miss?

Oh, not much, I answered, Just that Sargeras sent his overpowered girlfriend back in time to kill either me or some Draenei kid who hasnt been born yet. Nice dress.

Thanks. I won it in a poker game from Tyrande Whisperwind.

*cough*bullshit*cough* exclaimed Rediron.

I believe that, said Maurus. Im in a poker game every Thursday with Tyrande and the Windrunner sisters.

Which Windrunner sisters? I asked.

Maurus grinned. The ones that are still alive. Thats all Ill say. And Tyrande is a lousy card player.

True that said Eloona.

Alright, enough of that. Eloona, we need to summon the rest of the team back here. Once were assembled, Ill port us to the Blasted Lands.

Right. Ill go start the ritual. She walked out. Rediron and Sparkfizzle followed her.

Maurus put a hand on my shoulder as I turned to leave. A moment alone, please?

Sure.

We cannot hope to stop this demon with such a small force. She will be as powerful as Archimonde was, if not more so.

I dont intend to face her head on.

What do you mean?

I mean were going to go to the Dark Portal and destroy it.

You cannot do that! It would disrupt the timeline.

You already said Niamora had caused the timeline to collapse. If I blow up the portal, and it remains inactive during the time shes supposed to arrive, shell either end up lost in the Twisting Nether forever or be utterly disintegrated.

But the portal has existed for centuries in my timeline. It is a critical asset in the war against the legion.

Is it critical for the next 6 months?

Well maybe.

Unless you can tell me for certain, then Im going to assume we can re-build it again right after we blow it up. Ill catch hell for it, but that demon will not enter Azeroth.

I wish I could tell you more. But Azeroth is already in great peril. Arthas will seem such a small threat in a years time.

Look, well know for sure if the Bronze Dragonflight shows up to stop me.

You should not have so much faith in them.

I dont have much else to work with. What would future-me do?

You have always been unpredictable. That much does not change.

Fine. Can you tell me just one thing?

What?

Does that boob spell make me rich and famous?
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