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  #151  
Old 03-08-2014, 06:59 PM
Shroombie Shroombie is offline

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Acquire a well-rounded party. Include at least one snarky ethnic minority.
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  #152  
Old 03-08-2014, 07:25 PM
Anansi Anansi is offline

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Orb of Lightning

That fucking Warlock. She did this to you. Bitch must have dotted or cocked you, you're not sure which. Whatever the case, she has to pay.

You're tempted to inform the Silver Hand and get her ran outta town by a team of max level Paladins, but as you pause to think you realize this is exactly the sort of thing they chose you to deal with. If you can't even handle an Alliance Warlock, what use will you be against the undead menace? No, you can't look to the authorities for help. To do so would be admitting defeat. And to be a Paladin is to never admit defeat.

You stand up and adjust your cape. You roll your shoulders and pound a loose pauldron back into place. There's nothing for it. You'll need to look for a group.

You head over to the Trade District, thinking of who to recruit. You'll certainly want someone there to dispel any curses the Warlock puts on you.

You're not entirely sure how you're going to play the whole firearm thing yet, but you figure it will give you a bit more mobility than is natural to your combat class. The idea of unloading a barrel full of lead into someone's face from melee range has a certain undeniable appeal, but to fight close and dirty you'd really prefer to have some heavier protection than a two-handed gun can provide. You wonder if maybe you could find someone to modify your Hole Puncher to double as a shield.

As you step into Trader's Plaza, you have resolved to look for at least a healer and an engineer. Before you proceed further, you pause to consider whether there is any other class of person you'd like on your side.
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And the HRE was a meme that went too far.
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You are pretty cool for being one of the bad guys.
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I was probably just upset about the Horde fleet in the Second War.
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  #153  
Old 03-08-2014, 08:46 PM
Noitora Noitora is offline

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Debate between having a gunshield, or a gunblade.
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Yeah but where would this forum be if not for people speculating endlessly about things Blizzard doesn't give a shit about
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SoL: 20 something know it alls telling other 20 something know it alls they know everything.
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All this faction bitching and people arguing with each other and it's Fojar of all people that comes in with reasonable positivity.
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  #154  
Old 03-09-2014, 08:10 AM
Aneurysm Aneurysm is offline

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You need a pet. Find a druid.
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  #155  
Old 03-30-2014, 08:14 PM
Anansi Anansi is offline

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Orb of Lightning

You stand in the middle of the Trader's plaza and start yelling. "Looking for group! PvP! Looking for heals! Looking for engineer! Looking for group! PvP! Looking for druid! Looking for engineer! PvP! Looking for group!" and so on. Your voice joins the cacophony of other adventurers gathered to buy and sell all manner of services.
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And the HRE was a meme that went too far.
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You are pretty cool for being one of the bad guys.
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I was probably just upset about the Horde fleet in the Second War.
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  #156  
Old 03-30-2014, 08:37 PM
PajamaSalad PajamaSalad is offline

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This is still going on?
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  #157  
Old 03-30-2014, 09:01 PM
Noitora Noitora is offline

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Report people yelling anal "x" repeatedly.
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Yeah but where would this forum be if not for people speculating endlessly about things Blizzard doesn't give a shit about
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SoL: 20 something know it alls telling other 20 something know it alls they know everything.
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All this faction bitching and people arguing with each other and it's Fojar of all people that comes in with reasonable positivity.
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  #158  
Old 03-30-2014, 10:43 PM
Shroombie Shroombie is offline

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Yell anal "x" repeatedly.
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  #159  
Old 03-31-2014, 11:34 AM
Anansi Anansi is offline

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Orb of Lightning

You pause to catch your breath and hear a snatch of conversation. A High Elf in dark glasses is asking "This is still going on?" A gloriously mustachioed Gnome responds in an astonished voice "Still going on? It hasn't even begun!" The two are swept away by the tide of the crowd and within seconds the memory of this chance encounter leaves your mind forever.

You take a deep breath, ready to resume your advertisement, when you sense a pattern gestating somewhere in the unspeakable bowels of the Trade Chat. A recurring word makes itself known. "Anal Death Grip!" Someone yells, cut off almost instantly by a cry of "Anal Heroic Leap!" Nearby, a red-faced dwarf struggles to stand upright as he shouts "Anal Loremaster!" As he keels over, dead drunk, you can hear people all around the square taking up the call. "Anal Diplomacy!" "Anal Blink!" "Anal Entangling Roots!" "Anal Expansive Mind!" "Anal The Patient!" And on and on and on.

You stifle a giggle. This shit is hilarious. Eager to get in on the action, you offer "Anal Ranged Specialization!" You crack up, bending over and wheezing with mirth before gasping and saying "Anal Spring Water!" You could do this all day! So absorbed are you in your new-found hobby that you barely notice the ragged crew of volunteers standing nearby, attracted by your earlier offer.

(Incidentally, you completely fail to notice the grumpy-looking man in azure cloak and cowl skulking at the plaza's edge, shooting disgruntled glares at you and your fellow merrymakers and scribbling something down on a long, official looking scroll.)

You cough awkwardly, suddenly embarrassed, as you notice the adventurers standing by, waiting for an official invitation to your little group. You clear your throat and lower your voice. "Ahem. Ah. Well then." You turn slightly away from the crowd, so as to distance yourself from the ongoing commotion, and try to recollect your dignity. "Well then. I'm Darin..." You trail off. Any Paladin worth his salt needs a title to follow up their name, but it's been such a busy day that detail completely slipped your mind. You scramble to think up an appropriate moniker for your position in the Alliance and the Silver Hand. After a desperately uncomfortable second or two, you finish "...the Portentous." Well, you can work on it later. "I've gathered you all here for a top secret Alliance mission, and I must warn you it will be most perilous."

As you pause to let the weight of the moment sink in, one of your prospects, a scrawny human priest in the ugliest gear you've ever seen, gives a disgusted snort. "Role-players," he mutters as he strides off. A couple others join him.

Offended but undeterred, you continue. "For this mission I require the services of an engineer, a healer and a druid. Be advised I will only accept the very best!"

A gnome rogue with fantastic green hair interjects. "'Ey, I'm an engie, whaddaya need put togethah? I got schematics for everything here, I got choppahs, I got laseh's, I got pets. Just say the woid, it's youhs."

You put up a hand to indicate you have not finished. "Ah, but you see, I'm not looking to purchase any one machine. I want to contract an engineer to build custom tools and utilities for use in my crusade against the forces of evil! I can promise ready access to any resources you need and a steady income." You're not actually sure you can promise that. "The same goes for the healer and druid. Signing up with me is a commitment to the eternal war against the darkness, not a one time job."

A few more prospects leave, but the gnome shrugs and says "Sounds like a pretty hot gig. I'm down."

There are five prospects standing before you.
-Wheelhouse, Gnome Subtlety Rogue and Goblin Engineer
-Jennifer, Gilnean Restoration Druid
-Brunhilde, Dwarven Discipline Priest
-Haam, Draenei Restoration Shaman and Draenei Engineer
-Siltleaf, Night Elf Feral Druid
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And the HRE was a meme that went too far.
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You are pretty cool for being one of the bad guys.
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Originally Posted by BaronGrackle View Post
I was probably just upset about the Horde fleet in the Second War.

Last edited by Anansi; 03-31-2014 at 02:18 PM.. Reason: post in haste, edit in leisure
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  #160  
Old 03-31-2014, 10:25 PM
Shroombie Shroombie is offline

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Hamsteak can pull double duty, so that's a plus. Rock the gilnean Druid, you don't need no stinking' elves
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  #161  
Old 04-01-2014, 08:49 AM
Noitora Noitora is offline

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Slap the Draenei for using inferior engineering, look surprised that a gnome would use goblin tech. Explain to the night elf why their people fail at everything before comforting her. Ask the gilnean what a gilnean is, but debate taking her along. You are very pleased to find yet another female dwarf, and don't want to screw this chance up.
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Yeah but where would this forum be if not for people speculating endlessly about things Blizzard doesn't give a shit about
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SoL: 20 something know it alls telling other 20 something know it alls they know everything.
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All this faction bitching and people arguing with each other and it's Fojar of all people that comes in with reasonable positivity.
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  #162  
Old 04-01-2014, 09:27 AM
Anansi Anansi is offline

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Orb of Lightning

The idea of an engineer who can heal on the side is appealing, but you're skeptical of this spacegoat's specialization. "Draenei engineering?" You ask, raising an eyebrow. "Is this the stuff that you guys crashed into Darnassus or whatever?"

Haam looks somewhat offended. Lifting his chin ever so slightly, he says something unintelligible in that ridiculous spacegoat accent. You smirk slightly, turning your attention to Wheelhouse. "Goblin specialization, eh? Surprising."

The Gnome sticks a finger in one of his ears and wiggles it around. "So what, just cuz I'm a Gnome I can't use Goblin tech? I'm my own man, you don't know me."

You ignore him and look the Night Elf up and down. "Honestly, I don't even know where to start with you. I know your people are supposed to be the best at Druiding and whatnot, but given your track record I'm not sure you're worth the risk. Ten thousand years and still living in the woods? Joining the Alliance was probably the best thing to happen to you, am I right? I mean, at least now they let chicks like you join the Druids, right?"

The Night Elf is silent for a moment, and then sighs deeply. "I'm a male," he says wearily, his absurdly long ears drooping in a manner reminiscent of wilting plants.

Before you have time to respond, the Gilnean lady jumps in. "So is the racism part of the package or is this some kind of test?"

You look around at her through narrow eyes. After a brief pause, you ask "Okay, I'm stumped. What exactly is a Gilnean, anyway?"

The Druid laughs, but doesn't answer your question. Maybe it's some kind of secret cult. She could be a liability. In any case...

You greet the last of your prospective teammates with a winning smile. The lovely Dwarf replies with a purse-lipped glare. You turn up the charm and begin "Ah, Brunhilde, wasn't it? It's a pleasure to meet you." You consider trying to kiss her hand, but she's got both arms tucked into her sleeves. "I could use a Dwarf with your... talents." You struggle to strike a balance between suave respectability and overt seduction, but the Dwarfess seems unmoved.

"Aye, sure ye could. And maybe a cold swim while ye're at it." The Gilnean snorts loudly and Wheelhouse lets out a wheezing chuckle. Haam looks puzzled and the Night Elf continues staring sadly into space.

Whom do you select to accompany you on your Daring Quest?
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And the HRE was a meme that went too far.
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You are pretty cool for being one of the bad guys.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BaronGrackle View Post
I was probably just upset about the Horde fleet in the Second War.
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  #163  
Old 04-01-2014, 10:14 AM
PajamaSalad PajamaSalad is offline

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I am trying to bully Anansi into submission. Is it working? Has he been broken?
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  #164  
Old 04-01-2014, 10:29 AM
Noitora Noitora is offline

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Whomever you choose, you decide to go on a journey into the Hinterlands and/or the Plaguelands to track down a skittish, blonde, blood elven priest gnomish engineer. She has been known to bully the High Elves in the area while trying to recruit her people and syrup drinking forest trolls into the Alliance.
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Yeah but where would this forum be if not for people speculating endlessly about things Blizzard doesn't give a shit about
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leviathon View Post
SoL: 20 something know it alls telling other 20 something know it alls they know everything.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kobebyarlant View Post
All this faction bitching and people arguing with each other and it's Fojar of all people that comes in with reasonable positivity.
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  #165  
Old 04-01-2014, 11:01 AM
Aneurysm Aneurysm is offline

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Swallow your racist pride and take with you Haam the russian space-goat, Brunhilde the gorgeous dwarf and Wheelhouse the gnome (you can never have too many engineers). Also ask if the fabulous elf wants to tag along, as long as he stays in an animal form. You need an animal companion.
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  #166  
Old 04-01-2014, 02:53 PM
PajamaSalad PajamaSalad is offline

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Noitora View Post
Whomever you choose, you decide to go on a journey into the Hinterlands and/or the Plaguelands to track down a skittish, blonde, blood elven priest gnomish engineer. She has been known to bully the High Elves in the area while trying to recruit her people and syrup drinking forest trolls into the Alliance.
Are you trying to hunt me down?
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  #167  
Old 04-01-2014, 02:55 PM
Noitora Noitora is offline

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Quote:
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Are you trying to hunt me down?
Track you, yes.
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Yeah but where would this forum be if not for people speculating endlessly about things Blizzard doesn't give a shit about
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leviathon View Post
SoL: 20 something know it alls telling other 20 something know it alls they know everything.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kobebyarlant View Post
All this faction bitching and people arguing with each other and it's Fojar of all people that comes in with reasonable positivity.
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  #168  
Old 04-01-2014, 03:21 PM
Shroombie Shroombie is offline

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aneurysm View Post
Swallow your racist pride and take with you Haam the russian space-goat, Brunhilde the gorgeous dwarf and Wheelhouse the gnome (you can never have too many engineers). Also ask if the fabulous elf wants to tag along, as long as he stays in an animal form. You need an animal companion.
This, but without the elf. Elves suck. Actually, it might be good to take him along just to mock him.
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  #169  
Old 04-01-2014, 03:26 PM
Noitora Noitora is offline

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Screw it, take them all with you, but constantly make fun of the elf for having a leader that doesn't care about them, while his other leader is useless.
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Yeah but where would this forum be if not for people speculating endlessly about things Blizzard doesn't give a shit about
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leviathon View Post
SoL: 20 something know it alls telling other 20 something know it alls they know everything.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kobebyarlant View Post
All this faction bitching and people arguing with each other and it's Fojar of all people that comes in with reasonable positivity.
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  #170  
Old 04-01-2014, 06:07 PM
PajamaSalad PajamaSalad is offline

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Track you, yes.
Am I going to be a punching bag?
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  #171  
Old 04-01-2014, 06:21 PM
Noitora Noitora is offline

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Am I going to be a punching bag?
Depends on how the story goes. You can play to to save your character, or make her join.
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Yeah but where would this forum be if not for people speculating endlessly about things Blizzard doesn't give a shit about
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leviathon View Post
SoL: 20 something know it alls telling other 20 something know it alls they know everything.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kobebyarlant View Post
All this faction bitching and people arguing with each other and it's Fojar of all people that comes in with reasonable positivity.
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  #172  
Old 04-01-2014, 07:32 PM
PajamaSalad PajamaSalad is offline

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I don't think we should beat up on me.
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  #173  
Old 04-01-2014, 09:14 PM
Shroombie Shroombie is offline

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Beat up on Pajamasalad.
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  #174  
Old 04-02-2014, 06:01 AM
PajamaSalad PajamaSalad is offline

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Beat up on Pajamasalad.
I am going to beat up on Shroombie.
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  #175  
Old 04-02-2014, 11:06 AM
Anansi Anansi is offline

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Orb of Lightning

After careful deliberation, you decide to take the whole group along. "On the condition," you explain to the elf, "that you stay in animal form."

Siltleaf sighs and morphs into a cat, but Jennifer objects. "What's the matter with you? What's your problem with elves?"

Your eyes glaze over as you think back to a day long past back in Goldshire. You were only a child then, and on this day you were playing in the woods near the lake when a Blood Elf Priestess appeared from behind a tree. Oh, poor naive innocent past you! You suspected nothing until she cast that most evil and disgusting of spells upon you: Mind Control. She made you her puppet and did unspeakable things to you, casting all manner of strange enchantments on your helpless body. And she laughed.

Wheelhouse asks "You still with us, boss?"

You snap out of it. "What? Yes, of course. The point is, elves are bad people."
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And the HRE was a meme that went too far.
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You are pretty cool for being one of the bad guys.
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I was probably just upset about the Horde fleet in the Second War.
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